Meaghan Schaefer: Enough Souvenirs

Meaghan Schaefer shares about her cancer journey.

I have several souvenirs from my cancer journey: A four-inch scar on my neck where a golf ball sized mass was extracted. A wig. A photo of my daughter holding a trophy from the softball championship game I missed. At my last oncology appointment, when my doctor dismissed me as her patient, I replied sincerely, “I hope I never see you again.”

I was likely the most ignorant patient she ever treated. I didn’t try to take control by doing online research. I wasn’t curious about a medicinal cocktail that must be administered slowly because it can trigger a serious allergic reaction since it is made of rats. Not tested on rats, actually made of rats. I discovered I have a high tolerance for rodents scurrying through my bloodstream.

My doctor described my treatment plan as “aggressive,” meaning she intended to take the medical equivalent of a sledgehammer to that golf ball sized mass in my neck and wherever else cancer might be lurking. I had questions about chemotherapy.

Would the liquid dripping into my body, attached to a rolling hanger emitting incessant, aggravating beeps, protect me from future disease? While dealing with lymphoma, might it take a crack at any other simmering cancers? My doctor patiently explained that chemo doesn’t work that way.

She intended to send in a precise drone to execute an assassination, leaving behind few additional casualties. I soon learned, however, that my cancer might cause more cancer, due to the radiation coming later. Icing on the cancer cake.

For the grand finale of three weeks of daily radiation, a mesh device was molded to fit snugly over my head, neck and shoulders so radiation could target the area where bad cells might linger. At my final appointment, the technician asked if I wanted to keep the contraption. Seeing my bewilderment, she explained that some patients flip them over and use as garden planters. I declined. I had enough souvenirs. With a Perspective, I’m Meaghan Schaefer.

Meaghan Schaefer is a marketing and communications consultant. She lives in Burlingame.