Stephanie Rapp: Keeping Friendships Alive

Stephanie Rapp shares about her experience maintaining a strong connection with her best friend.

I wonder whether women outlive men because we are more likely to have and maintain friendships. Research shows friendships are as powerful for your health as exercise. People with strong social connections significantly outlive those who are isolated.

I moved to San Francisco from New York in 1983 with my best friend, Michele. It was so long ago that we each paid a whopping $125 rent to live in Noe Valley.

We’ve been through a lot together. We’ve become wives and mothers. We’ve lost parents, dear friends, my two sisters. We’ve both suffered health crises. Like siblings, we annoy each other. But we recover from grievances faster the older we get. We just don’t have the time to stay mad.

We recall childhood bedrooms, knew each other’s parents and siblings and even the family dogs. We speak in code, a word or phrase conjures vivid experiences and triggers unbridled laughter.

As we age, it can be harder to maintain friendships, particularly as we move for job opportunities or to be closer to parents or children.

Now, we live on different coasts. When we’re together, once or twice a year, we still feel like the teenagers who met in high school, the cocktail waitresses who put down their trays to dance when a great song came on the jukebox, and the cute young women who talked their way into Madison Square Garden without tickets to see Bruce Springsteen.

Friendships take work. We talk and text frequently, sometimes daily. We mail letters. When good or bad things happen, we call each other right away.

So, take a moment and call a friend. It will brighten your day, and maybe help you live a longer life.

With a Perspective, I’m Stephanie Rapp.

Stephanie Rapp is a San Francisco-based writer, filmmaker and consultant that supports change makers.