Two Moms and a Donor

at 3:55 PM

Just because my mom and I aren't related, doesn't mean we don't love and care for each other as if we were. I have gay parents. And you know what? I'm darn proud of it. It's not everyone who can say they have two moms. I love them both and we do really fun stuff together, and I wouldn't trade them for any dad in the world. Nevertheless, sometimes I wonder what it's like to have a dad. I don't think I'm missing out or anything, but occasionally I can't help imagine what life would be like with a father.

I have a donor, which is extremely different. A donor is a man who donates his semen to a couple who can't have kids, or to a lesbian family. When I think about him I get very curious about who he is. He could be any man of my race in the world. That thought makes me very uncomfortable.

I remember. I was 5. I was looking at my reflection, in the mirror. My mom Melissa was standing beside me, brushing her hair. I asked her why I didn't look like my other mom, Leigh. She sighed, like she was dreading this moment, and gave me a hug. There was a long silence. Then finally, she said, "Abby you don't look like mama Leigh because you are not related to her."

"Why not?" I asked.

She told me that I had a donor and I had his genes instead of mama Leigh's. I asked her if I would ever meet my dad. She looked at me and firmly said, "Abby your donor is not your dad. A donor is a very different thing. You just share his genes. It's not like you have to be devoted to him in any way."

Sponsored

I was too young to understand then how I could love my mom without being related to her, but I'm older now so, I do. Sometimes I don't even care about my donor. I love my mom the way she is, and I know she feels the same way about me. She is one of my favorite people and is always there when I need her.

Sponsored

I don't think we are different then any other family. It's just there are two moms, instead of a dad. In my life, I have learned that you can love somebody without being related to them. And I'm not missing out or anything. But I know someday, when I'm 18, I will meet my donor, and find out more about myself.

Volume
KQED Live
Live Stream
LATEST NEWSCAST
KQED
NPR
Live Stream information currently unavailable.
Share
LATEST NEWSCAST
KQED
NPR
KQED Live

Live Stream

Live Stream information currently unavailable.