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His work has also appeared on the \u003cem>The California Report\u003c/em> morning show and \u003cem>KQED News\u003c/em>. His production credits include \u003cem>The California Report, The California Report Magazine\u003c/em> and KQED's local news podcast \u003cem>The Bay\u003c/em>. Other credits include NPR's \u003cem>All Things Considered\u003c/em>, WNYC's \u003cem>Science Friday\u003c/em>, WBUR's \u003cem>Here & Now\u003c/em>, WIRED and SFGate. Peter graduated from Brown University and earned a master's degree in journalism from Stanford. He's covered everything from homelessness to wildfires, health, the environment, arts and Thanksgiving in San Quentin prison. In other lives, he played rock n roll music and studied neuroscience. You can email him at: parcuni@kqed.org","avatar":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/d5032f6f27199d478af34ad2e1d98732?s=600&d=blank&r=g","twitter":"peterarcuni","facebook":null,"instagram":null,"linkedin":null,"sites":[{"site":"news","roles":["editor"]},{"site":"science","roles":["editor"]}],"headData":{"title":"Peter Arcuni | KQED","description":"Reporter","ogImgSrc":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/d5032f6f27199d478af34ad2e1d98732?s=600&d=blank&r=g","twImgSrc":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/d5032f6f27199d478af34ad2e1d98732?s=600&d=blank&r=g"},"isLoading":false,"link":"/author/parcuni"}},"breakingNewsReducer":{},"campaignFinanceReducer":{},"firebase":{"requesting":{},"requested":{},"timestamps":{},"data":{},"ordered":{},"auth":{"isLoaded":false,"isEmpty":true},"authError":null,"profile":{"isLoaded":false,"isEmpty":true},"listeners":{"byId":{},"allIds":[]},"isInitializing":false,"errors":[]},"navBarReducer":{"navBarId":"news","fullView":true,"showPlayer":false},"navMenuReducer":{"menus":[{"key":"menu1","items":[{"name":"News","link":"/","type":"title"},{"name":"Politics","link":"/politics"},{"name":"Science","link":"/science"},{"name":"Education","link":"/educationnews"},{"name":"Housing","link":"/housing"},{"name":"Immigration","link":"/immigration"},{"name":"Criminal Justice","link":"/criminaljustice"},{"name":"Silicon Valley","link":"/siliconvalley"},{"name":"Forum","link":"/forum"},{"name":"The California Report","link":"/californiareport"}]},{"key":"menu2","items":[{"name":"Arts & Culture","link":"/arts","type":"title"},{"name":"Critics’ Picks","link":"/thedolist"},{"name":"Cultural Commentary","link":"/artscommentary"},{"name":"Food & Drink","link":"/food"},{"name":"Bay Area Hip-Hop","link":"/bayareahiphop"},{"name":"Rebel Girls","link":"/rebelgirls"},{"name":"Arts Video","link":"/artsvideos"}]},{"key":"menu3","items":[{"name":"Podcasts","link":"/podcasts","type":"title"},{"name":"Bay Curious","link":"/podcasts/baycurious"},{"name":"Rightnowish","link":"/podcasts/rightnowish"},{"name":"The Bay","link":"/podcasts/thebay"},{"name":"On Our Watch","link":"/podcasts/onourwatch"},{"name":"Mindshift","link":"/podcasts/mindshift"},{"name":"Consider This","link":"/podcasts/considerthis"},{"name":"Political Breakdown","link":"/podcasts/politicalbreakdown"}]},{"key":"menu4","items":[{"name":"Live Radio","link":"/radio","type":"title"},{"name":"TV","link":"/tv","type":"title"},{"name":"Events","link":"/events","type":"title"},{"name":"For Educators","link":"/education","type":"title"},{"name":"Support KQED","link":"/support","type":"title"},{"name":"About","link":"/about","type":"title"},{"name":"Help Center","link":"https://kqed-helpcenter.kqed.org/s","type":"title"}]}]},"pagesReducer":{},"postsReducer":{"stream_live":{"type":"live","id":"stream_live","audioUrl":"https://streams.kqed.org/kqedradio","title":"Live Stream","excerpt":"Live Stream information currently unavailable.","link":"/radio","featImg":"","label":{"name":"KQED Live","link":"/"}},"stream_kqedNewscast":{"type":"posts","id":"stream_kqedNewscast","audioUrl":"https://www.kqed.org/.stream/anon/radio/RDnews/newscast.mp3?_=1","title":"KQED Newscast","featImg":"","label":{"name":"88.5 FM","link":"/"}},"news_11909169":{"type":"posts","id":"news_11909169","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"news","id":"11909169","score":null,"sort":[1650306013000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"phuong-tam-ngoi-sao-nhac-rock","title":"Phương Tâm ngôi sao nhạc Rock","publishDate":1650306013,"format":"image","headTitle":"The California Report Magazine | KQED News","labelTerm":{"term":26731,"site":"news"},"content":"\u003cp>\u003cem>Editor's note: The following is a Vietnamese translation of a story KQED originally published on March 11, 2022. Because KQED serves the Bay Area, home to one of the largest Vietnamese communities outside of Vietnam, we wanted to ensure this multimedia story on music and history was accessible to audiences both in Vietnam and across the diaspora.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Thank you to Trần Đình Thanh Lam and Nguyễn Sĩ Hạnh for the translation.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/news/11907898/phuong-tam-sixties-star-of-vietnam-surf-rock-reclaims-her-legacy-at-77\">Read in English.\u003c/a>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Vào những năm đầu thập niên 1960 ở Sài Gòn, ca sĩ Phương Tâm xuất hiện trên sân khấu các phòng trà và hộp đêm sôi động của thành phố. Cô thể hiện tinh hoa của một thiếu nữ trẻ, với mái tóc đen dài buông thẳng và tà áo dài trắng thanh lịch.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Phương Tâm nổi bật từ năm 1964 cho đến 1966. Nhưng sau thời gian đó, cô ấy biến mất trên 50 năm nay. Vì sao?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://youtu.be/W1rDLliHJGc\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bây giờ đã 77 tuổi, Phương Tâm sống ở ngoại ô thành phố San Jose. Trước năm 2019, Tâm không kể lại quá khứ âm nhạc của mình cho ba đứa con nghe. Thực sự, câu chuyện này gần như không thể tin được.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>Quá khứ của Phương Tâm\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Lớn lên ở Hóc Môn gần Sài Gòn phồn hoa vào thập niên 1950, gia đình của Nguyễn Thị Tâm ít khi nghe nhạc, nên Tâm thường lắng nghe nhạc ở sau vườn được phát ra từ cái radio của người hàng xóm, họ nghe nhạc thịnh hành của Mỹ.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Một thầy bói đã nói rằng Tâm sẽ là người nổi tiếng trong tương lai. Nhưng khi 14 tuổi, Tâm là một học sinh trung bình. Tại sao cô ấy không quan tâm đến việc học, vì cô đã có âm nhạc.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ở Sài Gòn năm 1961, Nguyễn Thị Tâm thi tuyển vào Biệt đoàn Văn nghệ, một đoàn văn hóa nghệ thuật miền Nam Việt Nam: chương trình của chính phủ chiêu mộ các nghệ sĩ biểu diễn tham gia quân đội.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sau một năm, cô đã tìm thấy những người cố vấn có chung niềm yêu thích với âm nhạc phương Tây. Cô ca sĩ lấy nghệ danh là ‘Phương Tâm’, tên nghe có vẻ nữ tính hơn. Một nhạc sĩ nổi tiếng, Nguyễn Văn Xuân, đã nhận cô ấy là một học sinh riêng của mình.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Phương Tâm tìm nhiều cơ hội biểu diễn trong các phòng trà và hộp đêm. Ban ngày cô tập dượt và ban đêm cô biểu diễn cho khán giả người Việt và nước ngoài.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11909171\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1920px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11909171\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54217_Tam-in-ao-dai-band-at-Miss-Viet-Nam-pageant-1965-qut.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1418\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54217_Tam-in-ao-dai-band-at-Miss-Viet-Nam-pageant-1965-qut.jpeg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54217_Tam-in-ao-dai-band-at-Miss-Viet-Nam-pageant-1965-qut-800x591.jpeg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54217_Tam-in-ao-dai-band-at-Miss-Viet-Nam-pageant-1965-qut-1020x753.jpeg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54217_Tam-in-ao-dai-band-at-Miss-Viet-Nam-pageant-1965-qut-160x118.jpeg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54217_Tam-in-ao-dai-band-at-Miss-Viet-Nam-pageant-1965-qut-1536x1134.jpeg 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1920px) 100vw, 1920px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Phương Tâm trình diễn với ban nhạc Khánh Băng trong đại nhạc hội Hoa Hậu Việt Nam, 1965. \u003ccite>(Nguyễn Ánh 9)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Cô ấy cũng ‘chạy sô’ như những nghệ sĩ biểu diễn khác: 5 giờ chiều tại Căn cứ Không quân Tân Sơn Nhất, 7 giờ tối, tại An Đông, 8 p.m. tại \u003ca href=\"https://www.google.com/url?q=http://taybui.blogspot.com/2015/10/nhac-saigon-ban-em-1963.html&sa=D&source=docs&ust=1648145467898163&usg=AOvVaw2OxcODgSgNn5AlrbFQFsmy\">Capriccio Bar\u003c/a> - sau đó đến \u003ca href=\"https://www.google.com/url?q=https://nhacvangbolero.com/nhung-con-duong-sai-gon-xua-phan-3-duong-catinat-tu-do-tap-2/&sa=D&source=docs&ust=1648145467899061&usg=AOvVaw2o-mGX0dk1oQRQ7x9e2XmJ\">Tự Do\u003c/a>. Và cứ thế, mỗi giờ, ba bài hát cho mỗi địa điểm. Vào lúc nửa đêm, cô ấy đã hoàn thành một tập kéo dài một giờ tại Olympia.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Trong một bài phê bình về âm nhạc, nhà văn \u003ca href=\"https://www.google.com/url?q=https://vi.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mai_Th%25E1%25BA%25A3o&sa=D&source=docs&ust=1648145467897480&usg=AOvVaw1xNt_E2OTts1FScKu4zwmB\">Mai Thảo\u003c/a> đã viết về sức hút của người thiếu nữ bận trang phục khiêm tốn nầy:\u003c/p>\n\u003cblockquote>\u003cp>“Nhưng đến khi Phương Tâm cất tiếng hát, cái cảm tưởng về đứa nhỏ hiền lành lạc giữa bầy thú dữ ở ta không còn nữa. Đôi mắt long lanh, bàn tay vỗ nhịp. Phương Tâm lùi lùi, tiến tiến trước máy ghi âm, thoát chốc đã hiện hình trong một vóc dáng mới, cái vóc dáng bây giờ được vẽ bằng những đường lửa cháy, như một trái non đã chín dần dưới ánh nắng mặt trời.”\u003c/p>\u003c/blockquote>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11909174\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1920px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11909174\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/ALBUM-COVER-%E2%80%9CTWIST-SURF-BEGUINE-ROCK-1-USE-THIS-1.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1942\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/ALBUM-COVER-“TWIST-SURF-BEGUINE-ROCK-1-USE-THIS-1.png 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/ALBUM-COVER-“TWIST-SURF-BEGUINE-ROCK-1-USE-THIS-1-800x809.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/ALBUM-COVER-“TWIST-SURF-BEGUINE-ROCK-1-USE-THIS-1-1020x1032.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/ALBUM-COVER-“TWIST-SURF-BEGUINE-ROCK-1-USE-THIS-1-160x162.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/ALBUM-COVER-“TWIST-SURF-BEGUINE-ROCK-1-USE-THIS-1-1519x1536.png 1519w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1920px) 100vw, 1920px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Qua diã nhạc “Twist surf beguine rock” mà Phương Tâm đã hát những tác phẩm của người khác, Phương Tâm học những bản này rất nhanh, thu âm chỉ một lần thôi. Không cần đến hai lần. \u003ccite>(Continental)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Phương Tâm được nhiều nơi mời trình diễn, và nhiều nhạc sĩ nổi tiếng như \u003ca href=\"https://www.google.com/url?q=https://vi.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kh%25C3%25A1nh_B%25C4%2583ng&sa=D&source=docs&ust=1648145467896820&usg=AOvVaw2NoJA8x59xkxQagCaSfxxN\">Khánh Băng\u003c/a> thường tập dượt với Tâm trước khi vào phòng thu để thu âm. Những bài hát rock này nhìn chung là những biểu hiện lạc quan và trẻ trung của tình yêu, đan xen với nỗi cô đơn và mất mát, với những ca từ như “chia ly là một phần của cuộc sống” và “chiến đấu trong một cuộc chiến không mong muốn.”\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>Cô ca sĩ gặp một người hâm mộ\u003c/h2>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11909184\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1853px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11909184\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54222_Phuong-Tam-wearing-pink-Dep-Magazine-cover-qut-scaled-1.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1853\" height=\"2560\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54222_Phuong-Tam-wearing-pink-Dep-Magazine-cover-qut-scaled-1.jpeg 1853w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54222_Phuong-Tam-wearing-pink-Dep-Magazine-cover-qut-scaled-1-800x1105.jpeg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54222_Phuong-Tam-wearing-pink-Dep-Magazine-cover-qut-scaled-1-1020x1409.jpeg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54222_Phuong-Tam-wearing-pink-Dep-Magazine-cover-qut-scaled-1-160x221.jpeg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54222_Phuong-Tam-wearing-pink-Dep-Magazine-cover-qut-scaled-1-1112x1536.jpeg 1112w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54222_Phuong-Tam-wearing-pink-Dep-Magazine-cover-qut-scaled-1-1482x2048.jpeg 1482w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1853px) 100vw, 1853px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Phương Tâm, hình bài tạp chí Đẹp, Sài Gòn 1965. \u003ccite>(Phương Tâm)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Tâm có một người hâm mộ, một sĩ quan đã theo cô từ lúc cô hoạt động từ Phi Trường Tân Sơn Nhất đến những phòng trà như Paramount và Olympia. Một đêm nọ, người sĩ quan này dắt theo một bác sĩ quân đội mới. Lúc đó Hà Xuân Du còn trẻ.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sau ba năm kết hôn, sự kết hợp giữa một ca sĩ và người con trai của một gia đình quyền lực gây xôn xao dư luận. Cha mẹ của Du không đến dự lễ cưới.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tâm nói điều này không thành vấn đề. Con gái lớn nhất của Tâm, Hannah, nói lúc đó họ đắm đuối yêu nhau. Nhưng trước khi trở thành vợ, Tâm đã là một ngôi sao rồi.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>Một cuộc sống mới bắt đầu\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Khi mới vừa lên đỉnh danh vọng, sau năm 1966, Phương Tâm ngừng đi hát và cũng không có chuyến lưu diễn từ biệt, hoặc một cuộc phỏng vấn cuối cùng. Đến lúc chiến tranh tàn khốc, cô ấy đã có ba đứa con. Hannah nhớ lại kỷ niệm trốn tránh bom đạn.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Khi Sài Gòn thất thủ năm 1975, cả gia đình di tản bằng máy bay chuyên chở hàng hoá. Họ đã đến được nam Cali. Ở nơi đó, Tâm tìm được việc làm, đa số là may áo quần.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Trong khi đó chồng cô đã đi học để lấy lại bằng y sĩ. Cuộc sống vây lúc đầu quanh những đứa con, và dần dần lại hướng về hỗ trợ cho phòng mạch bác sĩ nhi đồng của Du ở thành phố San Jose.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11909196\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1616px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11909196\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54219_Hannah-and-Tam-Photo-Courtesy-Le-My-qut.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1616\" height=\"1080\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54219_Hannah-and-Tam-Photo-Courtesy-Le-My-qut.jpeg 1616w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54219_Hannah-and-Tam-Photo-Courtesy-Le-My-qut-800x535.jpeg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54219_Hannah-and-Tam-Photo-Courtesy-Le-My-qut-1020x682.jpeg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54219_Hannah-and-Tam-Photo-Courtesy-Le-My-qut-160x107.jpeg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54219_Hannah-and-Tam-Photo-Courtesy-Le-My-qut-1536x1027.jpeg 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1616px) 100vw, 1616px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Phương Tâm (bên phải) với con gái Hannah Hà. \u003ccite>(Lê Mỷ)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Hannah cũng là bác sĩ như cha của cô. Trên thực tế, tất cả ba đứa con của Tâm đều là bác sĩ. Mặc dầu các con không có khiếu về âm nhạc, cha mẹ của họ vẫn yêu thích âm nhạc. m nhạc là thứ đã đưa họ đến với nhau tại Việt Nam, và nó tiếp tục đóng một vai trò quan trọng trong mối quan hệ của họ tại Hoa Kỳ.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Quá khứ ca sĩ của Tâm cũng giống như là một bí mật được công khai. Cô không phủ nhận, nhưng cô vẫn hát những bài của người khác chứ không hát những bài tủ của mình. Khi chồng cô dùng Google để tìm cô trên trang mạng thì ông đã tìm ra được nhiều video của những \u003ca href=\"https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v%3D1408772159206973%26ref%3Dsharing&sa=D&source=docs&ust=1648145467893628&usg=AOvVaw26tHHtAGykpSxm7_UVmF3b\">phụ nữ khác tự xưng mình là Phương Tâm\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Năm 2019, chồng của Tâm đã qua đời sau khi đấu tranh với bịnh tình lâu dài.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cái chết của ông là một cột mốc của đời của Tâm và Hannah. Hannah đã đi lùng kiếm tài liệu về quá khứ của mẹ mình. Hannah tiếp tục phát hiện được rất nhiều Phương Tâm giả trên YouTube.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Hannah có ý định lập ra một sưu tập của những bản nhạc của Phương Tâm thật, pha trộn tất cả các phiên bản cũ mà cô tìm được, và có thể tải lên YouTube. Nhưng với sự giúp đỡ của nhà sản xuất Mark Gergis và nhờ những mối quan hệ của ông ấy trên toàn thế giới, cuối cùng cô có được một tác phẩm đầy tham vọng hơn. Họ tìm được những ghi âm nguyên bản hiếm có và nhiều cuộn thu âm, sửa lại những bài nhạc, và họ đã tạo ra một an-bum có chất lượng của phòng thu âm: \u003ca href=\"https://www.google.com/url?q=https://sublime-frequencies.bandcamp.com/album/magical-nights-saigon-surf-twist-soul-1964-1966&sa=D&source=docs&ust=1648145467900044&usg=AOvVaw2s-ucyIziueS1QwXcAD-3_\">Magical Nights\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11909200\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1920px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11909200\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54223_Magical-Nights-Album-Cover-qut.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1920\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54223_Magical-Nights-Album-Cover-qut.jpeg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54223_Magical-Nights-Album-Cover-qut-800x800.jpeg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54223_Magical-Nights-Album-Cover-qut-1020x1020.jpeg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54223_Magical-Nights-Album-Cover-qut-160x160.jpeg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54223_Magical-Nights-Album-Cover-qut-1536x1536.jpeg 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1920px) 100vw, 1920px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Magical Nights: Saigon Surf Twist and Soul 1964-1966. \u003ccite>(Sublime Frequencies)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Lần đầu tiên Tâm nghe những bản nhạc mới được sửa chữa lại, ví dụ như “\u003ca href=\"https://www.google.com/url?q=https://sublime-frequencies.bandcamp.com/track/nh-ng-ng-y-qua-bygone-twisted-days&sa=D&source=docs&ust=1648145467894558&usg=AOvVaw1OuwLS2QiswX-lgddQ6-pz\">Những Ngày Qua\u003c/a>” từ năm 1965, Tâm đã khóc. Cô chưa được nghe những bản nhạc này trong 50 năm qua và hầu như đã quên đi chúng. Nhưng khi Hannah tìm ra chúng thì Tâm đã nhớ lại.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tâm nhớ là ai đã chơi bàn phím, ai chơi ghi-ta. Cô nhớ đến tình thân thiết trong buổi điểm tâm sau một đêm hát hò. Cô ước gì chồng của cô, người đã ở bên cạnh cô lúc danh vọng lên ngôi, có thể nghe lại những bài hát này.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tâm vẫn còn hát ở những buổi tiệc karaoke, và có khi trình diễn tại nhà hàng xóm ở thành phố San Jose. Trong quá khứ Tâm thường hay núp sau bóng của chồng cô, nhưng giờ thì Tâm hát một mình và đầy hảnh diện.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cô có một ban nhạc dự bị gồm các nhạc sĩ nghiệp dư Việt Nam đã nghỉ hưu. Cô ấy chủ yếu hát các bài hát của người khác, nhưng bây giờ cô ấy muốn đề cập đến an-bum mới của mình.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Những người khách ở những buổi tiệc này rất thích thú. Một ông nọ đã dự tiệc nầy, ông ấy đã nói rằng dòng nhạc đã đem ông ta trở lại với thời thơ ấu, trước sự tàn khóc của chiến tranh Việt Nam.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Khi nhà Sản Xuất Gergis xem Tâm trình diễn, ông nói “Đây chính là người phụ nữ trong dĩa nhạc. Đây là chính người phụ nữ của thời đại đó. Đây là một người tràn đầy ánh sáng và tính chất đàn hồi, bà ấy vẫn còn một giọng hát rất hay, rất mạnh mẽ và lòng khát khao để hát nhạc. m nhạc ở trong máu của bà.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Hannah nói: “Tôi không nghĩ rằng mẹ tôi tuyệt vời chút nào. \"Và bây giờ, mẹ rất là nóng bỏng!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Và đang sẵn sàng cho chuyến lưu diễn đầy chiến thắng của mình.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>Đọc thêm\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/news/11907898/phuong-tam-sixties-star-of-vietnam-surf-rock-reclaims-her-legacy-at-77\">Bài tiếng Anh ở trang mạng KQED của Christine Nguyen\u003c/a>.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://www.theguardian.com/music/2021/oct/28/saigon-twist-meet-phuong-tam-vietnam-first-rocknroll-star\">Bài tiếng Anh đăng trên báo The Guardian của Sheila Ngoc Pham.\u003c/a>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://quenoi.com/phuong-tam-ca-si-rocknroll-dau-tien-cua-viet-nam\">Phỏng dịch bài của Sheila Ngoc Pham bởi Nguyễn Sĩ Hạnh.\u003c/a>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Ở Sài Gòn vào thập niên 60, Phương Tâm theo phong trào của dòng nhạc tiền phong ảnh hưởng bởi âm nhạc của những người trượt sóng ở vùng Cali. Bây giờ, với tuổi 77, Phương Tâm ẫn còn hát - ở thành phố San Jose.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1650326846,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":39,"wordCount":4195},"headData":{"title":"Phương Tâm ngôi sao nhạc Rock | KQED","description":"Ở Sài Gòn vào thập niên 60, Phương Tâm theo phong trào của dòng nhạc tiền phong ảnh hưởng bởi âm nhạc của những người trượt sóng ở vùng Cali. Bây giờ, với tuổi 77, Phương Tâm ẫn còn hát - ở thành phố San Jose.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"NewsArticle","headline":"Phương Tâm ngôi sao nhạc Rock","datePublished":"2022-04-18T18:20:13.000Z","dateModified":"2022-04-19T00:07:26.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png","isAccessibleForFree":"Y","publisher":{"@type":"NewsMediaOrganization","@id":"https://www.kqed.org/#organization","name":"KQED","url":"https://www.kqed.org","logo":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}}},"disqusIdentifier":"11909169 https://ww2.kqed.org/news/?p=11909169","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/2022/04/18/phuong-tam-ngoi-sao-nhac-rock/","disqusTitle":"Phương Tâm ngôi sao nhạc Rock","audioUrl":"https://traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/0af137ef-751e-4b19-a055-aaef00d2d578/ffca7e9f-6831-41c5-bcaf-aaef00f5a073/a2e12227-c968-449f-bc36-ae6f0185d00a/audio.mp3","nprByline":"\u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/christinenguyen\">Christine Nguyen\u003c/a> and Sheila Ngoc Pham","excludeFromSiteSearch":"Include","showOnAuthorArchivePages":"No","path":"/news/11909169/phuong-tam-ngoi-sao-nhac-rock","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cem>Editor's note: The following is a Vietnamese translation of a story KQED originally published on March 11, 2022. Because KQED serves the Bay Area, home to one of the largest Vietnamese communities outside of Vietnam, we wanted to ensure this multimedia story on music and history was accessible to audiences both in Vietnam and across the diaspora.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Thank you to Trần Đình Thanh Lam and Nguyễn Sĩ Hạnh for the translation.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/news/11907898/phuong-tam-sixties-star-of-vietnam-surf-rock-reclaims-her-legacy-at-77\">Read in English.\u003c/a>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Vào những năm đầu thập niên 1960 ở Sài Gòn, ca sĩ Phương Tâm xuất hiện trên sân khấu các phòng trà và hộp đêm sôi động của thành phố. Cô thể hiện tinh hoa của một thiếu nữ trẻ, với mái tóc đen dài buông thẳng và tà áo dài trắng thanh lịch.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Phương Tâm nổi bật từ năm 1964 cho đến 1966. Nhưng sau thời gian đó, cô ấy biến mất trên 50 năm nay. Vì sao?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/W1rDLliHJGc'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/W1rDLliHJGc'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Bây giờ đã 77 tuổi, Phương Tâm sống ở ngoại ô thành phố San Jose. Trước năm 2019, Tâm không kể lại quá khứ âm nhạc của mình cho ba đứa con nghe. Thực sự, câu chuyện này gần như không thể tin được.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>Quá khứ của Phương Tâm\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Lớn lên ở Hóc Môn gần Sài Gòn phồn hoa vào thập niên 1950, gia đình của Nguyễn Thị Tâm ít khi nghe nhạc, nên Tâm thường lắng nghe nhạc ở sau vườn được phát ra từ cái radio của người hàng xóm, họ nghe nhạc thịnh hành của Mỹ.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Một thầy bói đã nói rằng Tâm sẽ là người nổi tiếng trong tương lai. Nhưng khi 14 tuổi, Tâm là một học sinh trung bình. Tại sao cô ấy không quan tâm đến việc học, vì cô đã có âm nhạc.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ở Sài Gòn năm 1961, Nguyễn Thị Tâm thi tuyển vào Biệt đoàn Văn nghệ, một đoàn văn hóa nghệ thuật miền Nam Việt Nam: chương trình của chính phủ chiêu mộ các nghệ sĩ biểu diễn tham gia quân đội.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sau một năm, cô đã tìm thấy những người cố vấn có chung niềm yêu thích với âm nhạc phương Tây. Cô ca sĩ lấy nghệ danh là ‘Phương Tâm’, tên nghe có vẻ nữ tính hơn. Một nhạc sĩ nổi tiếng, Nguyễn Văn Xuân, đã nhận cô ấy là một học sinh riêng của mình.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Phương Tâm tìm nhiều cơ hội biểu diễn trong các phòng trà và hộp đêm. Ban ngày cô tập dượt và ban đêm cô biểu diễn cho khán giả người Việt và nước ngoài.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11909171\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1920px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11909171\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54217_Tam-in-ao-dai-band-at-Miss-Viet-Nam-pageant-1965-qut.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1418\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54217_Tam-in-ao-dai-band-at-Miss-Viet-Nam-pageant-1965-qut.jpeg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54217_Tam-in-ao-dai-band-at-Miss-Viet-Nam-pageant-1965-qut-800x591.jpeg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54217_Tam-in-ao-dai-band-at-Miss-Viet-Nam-pageant-1965-qut-1020x753.jpeg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54217_Tam-in-ao-dai-band-at-Miss-Viet-Nam-pageant-1965-qut-160x118.jpeg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54217_Tam-in-ao-dai-band-at-Miss-Viet-Nam-pageant-1965-qut-1536x1134.jpeg 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1920px) 100vw, 1920px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Phương Tâm trình diễn với ban nhạc Khánh Băng trong đại nhạc hội Hoa Hậu Việt Nam, 1965. \u003ccite>(Nguyễn Ánh 9)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Cô ấy cũng ‘chạy sô’ như những nghệ sĩ biểu diễn khác: 5 giờ chiều tại Căn cứ Không quân Tân Sơn Nhất, 7 giờ tối, tại An Đông, 8 p.m. tại \u003ca href=\"https://www.google.com/url?q=http://taybui.blogspot.com/2015/10/nhac-saigon-ban-em-1963.html&sa=D&source=docs&ust=1648145467898163&usg=AOvVaw2OxcODgSgNn5AlrbFQFsmy\">Capriccio Bar\u003c/a> - sau đó đến \u003ca href=\"https://www.google.com/url?q=https://nhacvangbolero.com/nhung-con-duong-sai-gon-xua-phan-3-duong-catinat-tu-do-tap-2/&sa=D&source=docs&ust=1648145467899061&usg=AOvVaw2o-mGX0dk1oQRQ7x9e2XmJ\">Tự Do\u003c/a>. Và cứ thế, mỗi giờ, ba bài hát cho mỗi địa điểm. Vào lúc nửa đêm, cô ấy đã hoàn thành một tập kéo dài một giờ tại Olympia.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Trong một bài phê bình về âm nhạc, nhà văn \u003ca href=\"https://www.google.com/url?q=https://vi.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mai_Th%25E1%25BA%25A3o&sa=D&source=docs&ust=1648145467897480&usg=AOvVaw1xNt_E2OTts1FScKu4zwmB\">Mai Thảo\u003c/a> đã viết về sức hút của người thiếu nữ bận trang phục khiêm tốn nầy:\u003c/p>\n\u003cblockquote>\u003cp>“Nhưng đến khi Phương Tâm cất tiếng hát, cái cảm tưởng về đứa nhỏ hiền lành lạc giữa bầy thú dữ ở ta không còn nữa. Đôi mắt long lanh, bàn tay vỗ nhịp. Phương Tâm lùi lùi, tiến tiến trước máy ghi âm, thoát chốc đã hiện hình trong một vóc dáng mới, cái vóc dáng bây giờ được vẽ bằng những đường lửa cháy, như một trái non đã chín dần dưới ánh nắng mặt trời.”\u003c/p>\u003c/blockquote>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11909174\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1920px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11909174\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/ALBUM-COVER-%E2%80%9CTWIST-SURF-BEGUINE-ROCK-1-USE-THIS-1.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1942\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/ALBUM-COVER-“TWIST-SURF-BEGUINE-ROCK-1-USE-THIS-1.png 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/ALBUM-COVER-“TWIST-SURF-BEGUINE-ROCK-1-USE-THIS-1-800x809.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/ALBUM-COVER-“TWIST-SURF-BEGUINE-ROCK-1-USE-THIS-1-1020x1032.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/ALBUM-COVER-“TWIST-SURF-BEGUINE-ROCK-1-USE-THIS-1-160x162.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/ALBUM-COVER-“TWIST-SURF-BEGUINE-ROCK-1-USE-THIS-1-1519x1536.png 1519w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1920px) 100vw, 1920px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Qua diã nhạc “Twist surf beguine rock” mà Phương Tâm đã hát những tác phẩm của người khác, Phương Tâm học những bản này rất nhanh, thu âm chỉ một lần thôi. Không cần đến hai lần. \u003ccite>(Continental)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Phương Tâm được nhiều nơi mời trình diễn, và nhiều nhạc sĩ nổi tiếng như \u003ca href=\"https://www.google.com/url?q=https://vi.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kh%25C3%25A1nh_B%25C4%2583ng&sa=D&source=docs&ust=1648145467896820&usg=AOvVaw2NoJA8x59xkxQagCaSfxxN\">Khánh Băng\u003c/a> thường tập dượt với Tâm trước khi vào phòng thu để thu âm. Những bài hát rock này nhìn chung là những biểu hiện lạc quan và trẻ trung của tình yêu, đan xen với nỗi cô đơn và mất mát, với những ca từ như “chia ly là một phần của cuộc sống” và “chiến đấu trong một cuộc chiến không mong muốn.”\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>Cô ca sĩ gặp một người hâm mộ\u003c/h2>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11909184\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1853px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11909184\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54222_Phuong-Tam-wearing-pink-Dep-Magazine-cover-qut-scaled-1.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1853\" height=\"2560\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54222_Phuong-Tam-wearing-pink-Dep-Magazine-cover-qut-scaled-1.jpeg 1853w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54222_Phuong-Tam-wearing-pink-Dep-Magazine-cover-qut-scaled-1-800x1105.jpeg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54222_Phuong-Tam-wearing-pink-Dep-Magazine-cover-qut-scaled-1-1020x1409.jpeg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54222_Phuong-Tam-wearing-pink-Dep-Magazine-cover-qut-scaled-1-160x221.jpeg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54222_Phuong-Tam-wearing-pink-Dep-Magazine-cover-qut-scaled-1-1112x1536.jpeg 1112w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54222_Phuong-Tam-wearing-pink-Dep-Magazine-cover-qut-scaled-1-1482x2048.jpeg 1482w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1853px) 100vw, 1853px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Phương Tâm, hình bài tạp chí Đẹp, Sài Gòn 1965. \u003ccite>(Phương Tâm)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Tâm có một người hâm mộ, một sĩ quan đã theo cô từ lúc cô hoạt động từ Phi Trường Tân Sơn Nhất đến những phòng trà như Paramount và Olympia. Một đêm nọ, người sĩ quan này dắt theo một bác sĩ quân đội mới. Lúc đó Hà Xuân Du còn trẻ.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sau ba năm kết hôn, sự kết hợp giữa một ca sĩ và người con trai của một gia đình quyền lực gây xôn xao dư luận. Cha mẹ của Du không đến dự lễ cưới.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tâm nói điều này không thành vấn đề. Con gái lớn nhất của Tâm, Hannah, nói lúc đó họ đắm đuối yêu nhau. Nhưng trước khi trở thành vợ, Tâm đã là một ngôi sao rồi.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>Một cuộc sống mới bắt đầu\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Khi mới vừa lên đỉnh danh vọng, sau năm 1966, Phương Tâm ngừng đi hát và cũng không có chuyến lưu diễn từ biệt, hoặc một cuộc phỏng vấn cuối cùng. Đến lúc chiến tranh tàn khốc, cô ấy đã có ba đứa con. Hannah nhớ lại kỷ niệm trốn tránh bom đạn.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Khi Sài Gòn thất thủ năm 1975, cả gia đình di tản bằng máy bay chuyên chở hàng hoá. Họ đã đến được nam Cali. Ở nơi đó, Tâm tìm được việc làm, đa số là may áo quần.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Trong khi đó chồng cô đã đi học để lấy lại bằng y sĩ. Cuộc sống vây lúc đầu quanh những đứa con, và dần dần lại hướng về hỗ trợ cho phòng mạch bác sĩ nhi đồng của Du ở thành phố San Jose.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11909196\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1616px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11909196\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54219_Hannah-and-Tam-Photo-Courtesy-Le-My-qut.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1616\" height=\"1080\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54219_Hannah-and-Tam-Photo-Courtesy-Le-My-qut.jpeg 1616w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54219_Hannah-and-Tam-Photo-Courtesy-Le-My-qut-800x535.jpeg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54219_Hannah-and-Tam-Photo-Courtesy-Le-My-qut-1020x682.jpeg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54219_Hannah-and-Tam-Photo-Courtesy-Le-My-qut-160x107.jpeg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54219_Hannah-and-Tam-Photo-Courtesy-Le-My-qut-1536x1027.jpeg 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1616px) 100vw, 1616px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Phương Tâm (bên phải) với con gái Hannah Hà. \u003ccite>(Lê Mỷ)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Hannah cũng là bác sĩ như cha của cô. Trên thực tế, tất cả ba đứa con của Tâm đều là bác sĩ. Mặc dầu các con không có khiếu về âm nhạc, cha mẹ của họ vẫn yêu thích âm nhạc. m nhạc là thứ đã đưa họ đến với nhau tại Việt Nam, và nó tiếp tục đóng một vai trò quan trọng trong mối quan hệ của họ tại Hoa Kỳ.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Quá khứ ca sĩ của Tâm cũng giống như là một bí mật được công khai. Cô không phủ nhận, nhưng cô vẫn hát những bài của người khác chứ không hát những bài tủ của mình. Khi chồng cô dùng Google để tìm cô trên trang mạng thì ông đã tìm ra được nhiều video của những \u003ca href=\"https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v%3D1408772159206973%26ref%3Dsharing&sa=D&source=docs&ust=1648145467893628&usg=AOvVaw26tHHtAGykpSxm7_UVmF3b\">phụ nữ khác tự xưng mình là Phương Tâm\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Năm 2019, chồng của Tâm đã qua đời sau khi đấu tranh với bịnh tình lâu dài.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cái chết của ông là một cột mốc của đời của Tâm và Hannah. Hannah đã đi lùng kiếm tài liệu về quá khứ của mẹ mình. Hannah tiếp tục phát hiện được rất nhiều Phương Tâm giả trên YouTube.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Hannah có ý định lập ra một sưu tập của những bản nhạc của Phương Tâm thật, pha trộn tất cả các phiên bản cũ mà cô tìm được, và có thể tải lên YouTube. Nhưng với sự giúp đỡ của nhà sản xuất Mark Gergis và nhờ những mối quan hệ của ông ấy trên toàn thế giới, cuối cùng cô có được một tác phẩm đầy tham vọng hơn. Họ tìm được những ghi âm nguyên bản hiếm có và nhiều cuộn thu âm, sửa lại những bài nhạc, và họ đã tạo ra một an-bum có chất lượng của phòng thu âm: \u003ca href=\"https://www.google.com/url?q=https://sublime-frequencies.bandcamp.com/album/magical-nights-saigon-surf-twist-soul-1964-1966&sa=D&source=docs&ust=1648145467900044&usg=AOvVaw2s-ucyIziueS1QwXcAD-3_\">Magical Nights\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11909200\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1920px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11909200\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54223_Magical-Nights-Album-Cover-qut.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1920\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54223_Magical-Nights-Album-Cover-qut.jpeg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54223_Magical-Nights-Album-Cover-qut-800x800.jpeg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54223_Magical-Nights-Album-Cover-qut-1020x1020.jpeg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54223_Magical-Nights-Album-Cover-qut-160x160.jpeg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/RS54223_Magical-Nights-Album-Cover-qut-1536x1536.jpeg 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1920px) 100vw, 1920px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Magical Nights: Saigon Surf Twist and Soul 1964-1966. \u003ccite>(Sublime Frequencies)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Lần đầu tiên Tâm nghe những bản nhạc mới được sửa chữa lại, ví dụ như “\u003ca href=\"https://www.google.com/url?q=https://sublime-frequencies.bandcamp.com/track/nh-ng-ng-y-qua-bygone-twisted-days&sa=D&source=docs&ust=1648145467894558&usg=AOvVaw1OuwLS2QiswX-lgddQ6-pz\">Những Ngày Qua\u003c/a>” từ năm 1965, Tâm đã khóc. Cô chưa được nghe những bản nhạc này trong 50 năm qua và hầu như đã quên đi chúng. Nhưng khi Hannah tìm ra chúng thì Tâm đã nhớ lại.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tâm nhớ là ai đã chơi bàn phím, ai chơi ghi-ta. Cô nhớ đến tình thân thiết trong buổi điểm tâm sau một đêm hát hò. Cô ước gì chồng của cô, người đã ở bên cạnh cô lúc danh vọng lên ngôi, có thể nghe lại những bài hát này.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tâm vẫn còn hát ở những buổi tiệc karaoke, và có khi trình diễn tại nhà hàng xóm ở thành phố San Jose. Trong quá khứ Tâm thường hay núp sau bóng của chồng cô, nhưng giờ thì Tâm hát một mình và đầy hảnh diện.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cô có một ban nhạc dự bị gồm các nhạc sĩ nghiệp dư Việt Nam đã nghỉ hưu. Cô ấy chủ yếu hát các bài hát của người khác, nhưng bây giờ cô ấy muốn đề cập đến an-bum mới của mình.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Những người khách ở những buổi tiệc này rất thích thú. Một ông nọ đã dự tiệc nầy, ông ấy đã nói rằng dòng nhạc đã đem ông ta trở lại với thời thơ ấu, trước sự tàn khóc của chiến tranh Việt Nam.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Khi nhà Sản Xuất Gergis xem Tâm trình diễn, ông nói “Đây chính là người phụ nữ trong dĩa nhạc. Đây là chính người phụ nữ của thời đại đó. Đây là một người tràn đầy ánh sáng và tính chất đàn hồi, bà ấy vẫn còn một giọng hát rất hay, rất mạnh mẽ và lòng khát khao để hát nhạc. m nhạc ở trong máu của bà.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Hannah nói: “Tôi không nghĩ rằng mẹ tôi tuyệt vời chút nào. \"Và bây giờ, mẹ rất là nóng bỏng!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Và đang sẵn sàng cho chuyến lưu diễn đầy chiến thắng của mình.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>Đọc thêm\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/news/11907898/phuong-tam-sixties-star-of-vietnam-surf-rock-reclaims-her-legacy-at-77\">Bài tiếng Anh ở trang mạng KQED của Christine Nguyen\u003c/a>.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://www.theguardian.com/music/2021/oct/28/saigon-twist-meet-phuong-tam-vietnam-first-rocknroll-star\">Bài tiếng Anh đăng trên báo The Guardian của Sheila Ngoc Pham.\u003c/a>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://quenoi.com/phuong-tam-ca-si-rocknroll-dau-tien-cua-viet-nam\">Phỏng dịch bài của Sheila Ngoc Pham bởi Nguyễn Sĩ Hạnh.\u003c/a>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/news/11909169/phuong-tam-ngoi-sao-nhac-rock","authors":["byline_news_11909169"],"programs":["news_26731"],"categories":["news_223","news_8"],"tags":["news_235","news_21633","news_22604"],"featImg":"news_11909216","label":"news_26731"},"news_11640750":{"type":"posts","id":"news_11640750","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"news","id":"11640750","score":null,"sort":[1516521662000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"after-40-years-of-silence-a-vietnam-vet-uses-photos-for-healing","title":"After 40 Years of Silence, a Vietnam Vet Uses Photos for Healing","publishDate":1516521662,"format":"image","headTitle":"The California Report | KQED News","labelTerm":{"term":72,"site":"news"},"content":"\u003cp>\u003cem>This story is part of a series called “Faces of the Vietnam War.” KQED asked our audience to submit their stories about the Vietnam War. We heard from refugees, military veterans, journalists, activists and more. This story comes from Steven Burchik, who enlisted in the U.S. Army in 1967, as the Vietnam War was ramping up. Throughout his deployment he carried a camera, photographing his fellow soldiers and the Vietnamese villagers they interacted with. Following his service, he didn’t speak to anyone about his experiences for more than 40 years.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I had just finished college. It was June 1967 and odds were pretty good I was going to be drafted, so I enlisted basically to save time. If I'd spent six months trying to find a job I probably would have been drafted and figured let's get it over with.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I had some family background that led me to make that decision. My father's parents were from Czechoslovakia, my mother's parents were from Poland. Both countries were behind the Iron Curtain, so I did believe that this was perhaps a way to stop the spread of communism.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I served as a sergeant, as a forward observer with the 1st Infantry Division from June 1968 to June 1969. Our primary duties were daily patrols, so they would fly us out or truck us out to different starting points, and we'd spend the day going about 10 kilometers -- basically, looking for trouble. But we would normally come back to the base camp at the end of the day. Occasionally, we'd spend two or three days out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Photography was a hobby. I’d been on the college paper. I used to talk to the photographers, and when I realized I might be going to Vietnam, I said, “Hey, can you show me how to use a camera?”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEH5zV8tmHw&feature=youtu.be\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I didn't take a lot of photographs initially. I was just trying to learn what I was supposed to do, and I just wanted to be careful about what I did and not get myself hurt or hurt somebody else. But after a couple of weeks, I asked the officer in charge if it was OK if I bring my camera out on a mission. And he said, “Well, you can bring it out but if you screw up once, the camera is going.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I don't have a single picture of combat because if we were in a combat situation, I wasn't using the camera. So I’d take pictures on the helicopter ride in or, if we were taking trucks, on the truck ride in. Every hour we took a five-minute break while on patrol, and then I'd pull the camera out and take pictures of the guys around me. And then if we had a day off I would take pictures in our base camp.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When I took pictures of villagers -- I didn't speak Vietnamese -- I would just point to the camera and point to them and most people nodded yes or something else. So I took their pictures and if they said no, I said fine. It was just courtesy. We were trying to win the \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hearts_and_Minds_(Vietnam_War)\">hearts and minds\u003c/a> of local people. Some of the villages, we knew some Viet Cong were embedded there, so we'd rather be talking to them and be friendly than have them throwing grenades at us.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When I got back, I was well aware of the fact that the majority of people were upset with the war. So I got home, took the uniform off, put it away and never put it back on again. Basically, I just didn't talk about it, and that continued for 40-plus years. Many friends and co-workers did not know I was a Vietnam vet.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I just didn't want to get into a big argument with somebody. Right or wrong, I thought it was right at the time, and I wanted to get on with my life, and I've met a lot of other vets who've done the same thing. Some still won't talk about it. Others will.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That only changed in 2013 when a local high school English teacher asked me to give a talk to her class. The teacher is a friend of the family, and so she had known I was a Vietnam veteran.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11640751\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2018/01/RS26596_20170912_VietnamStories_StevenBurchik_Credit_BertJohnson-4-qut.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11640751\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2018/01/RS26596_20170912_VietnamStories_StevenBurchik_Credit_BertJohnson-4-qut-800x533.jpg\" alt=\"Steven Burchik served in the U.S. Army during the Vietnam War. While he was deployed, he bought a camera and took photos of his fellow soldiers, Vietnamese villagers and the countryside – photos he didn't show anyone for 40 years after he got home. He was photographed in his home on Sept. 13, 2017.\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/01/RS26596_20170912_VietnamStories_StevenBurchik_Credit_BertJohnson-4-qut-800x533.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/01/RS26596_20170912_VietnamStories_StevenBurchik_Credit_BertJohnson-4-qut-160x107.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/01/RS26596_20170912_VietnamStories_StevenBurchik_Credit_BertJohnson-4-qut-1020x680.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/01/RS26596_20170912_VietnamStories_StevenBurchik_Credit_BertJohnson-4-qut.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/01/RS26596_20170912_VietnamStories_StevenBurchik_Credit_BertJohnson-4-qut-1180x787.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/01/RS26596_20170912_VietnamStories_StevenBurchik_Credit_BertJohnson-4-qut-960x640.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/01/RS26596_20170912_VietnamStories_StevenBurchik_Credit_BertJohnson-4-qut-240x160.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/01/RS26596_20170912_VietnamStories_StevenBurchik_Credit_BertJohnson-4-qut-375x250.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/01/RS26596_20170912_VietnamStories_StevenBurchik_Credit_BertJohnson-4-qut-520x347.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Steven Burchik served in the U.S. Army during the Vietnam War. While he was deployed, he bought a camera and took photos of his fellow soldiers, Vietnamese villagers and the countryside – photos he didn't show anyone for 40-plus years after he got home. He was photographed in his home on Sept. 13, 2017. \u003ccite>(Bert Johnson/KQED)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>I was a little apprehensive. I put the presentation together, and it went very well, and I actually talked to two sections of her class. The students were respectful, and it was a good conversation. I thought that was the end of it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Well, two nights later the teacher invites my wife and I to dinner, and then she hands me a folder with 60 letters from the students. Each student wrote a short letter saying, thank you for sharing your story. And that was the first time in more than 40 years that anybody had said, “We appreciate your service, whether the cause was right or wrong.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That was a major turning point for me. It was very emotional after all those years of not talking about it, to have somebody say something positive. So my life has turned around 180 degrees.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I think the biggest thing is the reaction I've gotten. I anticipated the same reaction that I probably would have gotten in 1969, and it was hard for me to believe that people's views would change. Part of it is time has passed, so it's not quite as raw for a lot of people.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But I'm a little older now, I'm in my early 70s, and a lot of the population wasn't even born during the Vietnam War. So as far as I'm concerned, and I guess other Vietnam vets as well, it's very fresh in our minds. But for a lot of the population it's something different and far removed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Since 2013, Burchick has begun giving talks and exhibiting his photos in galleries and museums, and he has published \u003ca href=\"https://www.stevenburchik.com\">two books about his time in Vietnam\u003c/a>. He lives in the East Bay with his wife, whom he married immediately after returning from the war.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>KQED’s Bert Johnson, Bianca Taylor and Ryan Levi produced this report. This piece was taken from an interview with Burchik, which has been edited for length and clarity.\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"A Vietnam vet who took photos throughout his deployment didn't talk about his experience for more than 40 years, until a local teacher asked him to share his story.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1516749844,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":true,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":20,"wordCount":1159},"headData":{"title":"After 40 Years of Silence, a Vietnam Vet Uses Photos for Healing | KQED","description":"A Vietnam vet who took photos throughout his deployment didn't talk about his experience for more than 40 years, until a local teacher asked him to share his story.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"NewsArticle","headline":"After 40 Years of Silence, a Vietnam Vet Uses Photos for Healing","datePublished":"2018-01-21T08:01:02.000Z","dateModified":"2018-01-23T23:24:04.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png","isAccessibleForFree":"Y","publisher":{"@type":"NewsMediaOrganization","@id":"https://www.kqed.org/#organization","name":"KQED","url":"https://www.kqed.org","logo":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}}},"disqusIdentifier":"11640750 https://ww2.kqed.org/news/?p=11640750","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/2018/01/21/after-40-years-of-silence-a-vietnam-vet-uses-photos-for-healing/","disqusTitle":"After 40 Years of Silence, a Vietnam Vet Uses Photos for Healing","nprByline":"\u003cstrong>Steven Burchik\u003c/strong>","path":"/news/11640750/after-40-years-of-silence-a-vietnam-vet-uses-photos-for-healing","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cem>This story is part of a series called “Faces of the Vietnam War.” KQED asked our audience to submit their stories about the Vietnam War. We heard from refugees, military veterans, journalists, activists and more. This story comes from Steven Burchik, who enlisted in the U.S. Army in 1967, as the Vietnam War was ramping up. Throughout his deployment he carried a camera, photographing his fellow soldiers and the Vietnamese villagers they interacted with. Following his service, he didn’t speak to anyone about his experiences for more than 40 years.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I had just finished college. It was June 1967 and odds were pretty good I was going to be drafted, so I enlisted basically to save time. If I'd spent six months trying to find a job I probably would have been drafted and figured let's get it over with.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I had some family background that led me to make that decision. My father's parents were from Czechoslovakia, my mother's parents were from Poland. Both countries were behind the Iron Curtain, so I did believe that this was perhaps a way to stop the spread of communism.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I served as a sergeant, as a forward observer with the 1st Infantry Division from June 1968 to June 1969. Our primary duties were daily patrols, so they would fly us out or truck us out to different starting points, and we'd spend the day going about 10 kilometers -- basically, looking for trouble. But we would normally come back to the base camp at the end of the day. Occasionally, we'd spend two or three days out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Photography was a hobby. I’d been on the college paper. I used to talk to the photographers, and when I realized I might be going to Vietnam, I said, “Hey, can you show me how to use a camera?”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/SEH5zV8tmHw'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/SEH5zV8tmHw'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>I didn't take a lot of photographs initially. I was just trying to learn what I was supposed to do, and I just wanted to be careful about what I did and not get myself hurt or hurt somebody else. But after a couple of weeks, I asked the officer in charge if it was OK if I bring my camera out on a mission. And he said, “Well, you can bring it out but if you screw up once, the camera is going.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I don't have a single picture of combat because if we were in a combat situation, I wasn't using the camera. So I’d take pictures on the helicopter ride in or, if we were taking trucks, on the truck ride in. Every hour we took a five-minute break while on patrol, and then I'd pull the camera out and take pictures of the guys around me. And then if we had a day off I would take pictures in our base camp.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When I took pictures of villagers -- I didn't speak Vietnamese -- I would just point to the camera and point to them and most people nodded yes or something else. So I took their pictures and if they said no, I said fine. It was just courtesy. We were trying to win the \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hearts_and_Minds_(Vietnam_War)\">hearts and minds\u003c/a> of local people. Some of the villages, we knew some Viet Cong were embedded there, so we'd rather be talking to them and be friendly than have them throwing grenades at us.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When I got back, I was well aware of the fact that the majority of people were upset with the war. So I got home, took the uniform off, put it away and never put it back on again. Basically, I just didn't talk about it, and that continued for 40-plus years. Many friends and co-workers did not know I was a Vietnam vet.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I just didn't want to get into a big argument with somebody. Right or wrong, I thought it was right at the time, and I wanted to get on with my life, and I've met a lot of other vets who've done the same thing. Some still won't talk about it. Others will.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That only changed in 2013 when a local high school English teacher asked me to give a talk to her class. The teacher is a friend of the family, and so she had known I was a Vietnam veteran.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11640751\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2018/01/RS26596_20170912_VietnamStories_StevenBurchik_Credit_BertJohnson-4-qut.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11640751\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2018/01/RS26596_20170912_VietnamStories_StevenBurchik_Credit_BertJohnson-4-qut-800x533.jpg\" alt=\"Steven Burchik served in the U.S. Army during the Vietnam War. While he was deployed, he bought a camera and took photos of his fellow soldiers, Vietnamese villagers and the countryside – photos he didn't show anyone for 40 years after he got home. He was photographed in his home on Sept. 13, 2017.\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/01/RS26596_20170912_VietnamStories_StevenBurchik_Credit_BertJohnson-4-qut-800x533.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/01/RS26596_20170912_VietnamStories_StevenBurchik_Credit_BertJohnson-4-qut-160x107.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/01/RS26596_20170912_VietnamStories_StevenBurchik_Credit_BertJohnson-4-qut-1020x680.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/01/RS26596_20170912_VietnamStories_StevenBurchik_Credit_BertJohnson-4-qut.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/01/RS26596_20170912_VietnamStories_StevenBurchik_Credit_BertJohnson-4-qut-1180x787.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/01/RS26596_20170912_VietnamStories_StevenBurchik_Credit_BertJohnson-4-qut-960x640.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/01/RS26596_20170912_VietnamStories_StevenBurchik_Credit_BertJohnson-4-qut-240x160.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/01/RS26596_20170912_VietnamStories_StevenBurchik_Credit_BertJohnson-4-qut-375x250.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/01/RS26596_20170912_VietnamStories_StevenBurchik_Credit_BertJohnson-4-qut-520x347.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Steven Burchik served in the U.S. Army during the Vietnam War. While he was deployed, he bought a camera and took photos of his fellow soldiers, Vietnamese villagers and the countryside – photos he didn't show anyone for 40-plus years after he got home. He was photographed in his home on Sept. 13, 2017. \u003ccite>(Bert Johnson/KQED)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>I was a little apprehensive. I put the presentation together, and it went very well, and I actually talked to two sections of her class. The students were respectful, and it was a good conversation. I thought that was the end of it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Well, two nights later the teacher invites my wife and I to dinner, and then she hands me a folder with 60 letters from the students. Each student wrote a short letter saying, thank you for sharing your story. And that was the first time in more than 40 years that anybody had said, “We appreciate your service, whether the cause was right or wrong.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That was a major turning point for me. It was very emotional after all those years of not talking about it, to have somebody say something positive. So my life has turned around 180 degrees.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I think the biggest thing is the reaction I've gotten. I anticipated the same reaction that I probably would have gotten in 1969, and it was hard for me to believe that people's views would change. Part of it is time has passed, so it's not quite as raw for a lot of people.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But I'm a little older now, I'm in my early 70s, and a lot of the population wasn't even born during the Vietnam War. So as far as I'm concerned, and I guess other Vietnam vets as well, it's very fresh in our minds. But for a lot of the population it's something different and far removed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Since 2013, Burchick has begun giving talks and exhibiting his photos in galleries and museums, and he has published \u003ca href=\"https://www.stevenburchik.com\">two books about his time in Vietnam\u003c/a>. He lives in the East Bay with his wife, whom he married immediately after returning from the war.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>KQED’s Bert Johnson, Bianca Taylor and Ryan Levi produced this report. This piece was taken from an interview with Burchik, which has been edited for length and clarity.\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/news/11640750/after-40-years-of-silence-a-vietnam-vet-uses-photos-for-healing","authors":["byline_news_11640750"],"programs":["news_6944","news_72"],"categories":["news_223","news_8"],"tags":["news_5579","news_17286","news_21620","news_21633"],"featImg":"news_11640753","label":"news_72"},"news_11624256":{"type":"posts","id":"news_11624256","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"news","id":"11624256","score":null,"sort":[1512234932000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"we-made-it-by-praying-to-everybody","title":"'We Made It by Praying to Everybody'","publishDate":1512234932,"format":"image","headTitle":"The California Report | KQED News","labelTerm":{"term":72,"site":"news"},"content":"\u003cp>\u003cem>This story is part of a series called \"Faces of the Vietnam War.\" KQED recently asked our audience to submit their stories about the Vietnam War. We heard from refugees, military veterans, journalists, activists and more. This story comes from Oakland resident Sonny Lê, who was born in South Vietnam during the war.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I grew up in the Mekong Delta. You could say that's the deep, deep south. Back in the days, it would take you about six hours to travel from Saigon, or Ho Chi Minh City, to the Mekong Delta region along the coast bordering Cambodia.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That was the southern hideout area of the National Liberation Front, or Viet Cong. We used to have a saying: “Day and night.” We literally meant who was who. So daytime belonged to the Republicans -- that would be the U.S.-backed regime, South Vietnam.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Nighttime was when it belonged to the National Liberation Front guerrillas. At night, they came home to see their wives, their kids. And then during the day they disappeared again. I mean, you couldn't tell who the enemies were. Basically the American soldier couldn’t, even the Vietnamese couldn't tell.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Throughout my childhood the war was the backdrop, because my father was working for the government. He was a communications officer for the U.S. and for the Vietnamese military. So the war was always part of us.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Up until 1975, Vietnam wasn't at peace for centuries. By the time the U.S. got involved in Vietnam, it was called the Second Indochinese War. The first one was with the French. In Vietnam, at that point, we were so inured to the sounds of war that we simply said, “Yeah, but it's over there.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11624400\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11624400\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/temple-800x459.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"459\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/temple-800x459.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/temple-160x92.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/temple-1020x585.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/temple-1920x1102.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/temple-1180x677.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/temple-960x551.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/temple-240x138.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/temple-375x215.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/temple-520x298.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">On the left is the house where Sonny Lê lived with his family in 1975. On the right, a Cao Đài Buddhist temple founded by his grandmother, photographed in 2015. \u003ccite>(Courtesy Sonny Lê)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>For kids, war is a lot of fun. We helped carry these shells for fun because, within these shells, you have these gunpowder pellets. They look just like fish feed pellets and they were fantastic! You take a little bit of aluminum foil, you wrap it around, you light it up and whoosh! It's like the gunpowder pellets were out of firecrackers and fireworks. The soldiers would give them to us, the kids, to play with. That was our reward for helping the soldiers carrying those shells.\u003c/p>\n\u003caside class=\"pullquote alignleft\">'The worst thing about artillery is that they land where they land.'\u003cbr>\n\u003ccite>Sonny Lê, Vietnamese refugee\u003c/cite>\u003c/aside>\n\u003cp>April 30 is considered the day that the country was reunified. That night, we heard on the radio that the national radio broadcast was cut off -- radio silence. South Vietnam had lost; the country basically was gone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The night of April 30, we heard sporadic gunfire. Back in those days, nearly every house had a bomb shelter. It was basically a big earthen pot underneath the ground and we all got in there, under the bed. We were hiding in that pot and we heard footsteps running back and forth on the road and then we heard sounds of tires screeching -- the former South Vietnamese soldiers running away, or being chased.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You thought, “We're going to die,” because the biggest fear at that point was bombings or artillery. The worst thing about artillery is that they land where they land. They don't have names on those shells and so they just could land anywhere.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I don't think my father came home until a week later. We thought he either died or [was] captured during the chaos. The very people who came to relieve my father were his drinking buddies, but they were undercover commies. On May 1, he was their captive.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My dad's brothers-in-law -- two of them were commies, too, and we didn't know until after the war. One of them was a high-ranking member. The other was running guns for the National Liberation Front. The Vietnam War divided families and family members were fighting on both sides, sometimes against each other.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When I left I was going on 17, so I was that close to drafting age. Vietnam was fighting two wars: in the north with China, in the south with Cambodia. At the time Vietnam was broken, economically speaking, and Vietnam was in a panic. So any Vietnamese, even northerners, had to flee for their lives.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11624407\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 640px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-large wp-image-11624407\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/SCAN0037-1-1020x1516.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"951\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/SCAN0037-1-1020x1516.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/SCAN0037-1-160x238.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/SCAN0037-1-800x1189.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/SCAN0037-1-960x1427.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/SCAN0037-1-240x357.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/SCAN0037-1-375x557.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/SCAN0037-1-520x773.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/SCAN0037-1.jpg 1152w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Sonny Lê's father (center) and uncles. \u003ccite>(Courtesy Sonny Lê)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>My boat left in 1980, with some cousins, and then subsequently there was another boat planned for 1981 that would have been my uncles and possibly my family, but that boat got caught. They got busted, and so they went to jail.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A lot of people went to jail and [got] tortured pretty good, but thankfully some of our family members were part of the communist regime so they rescued their own brothers-in-law. So that's how I ended up here without my family. That wasn't intentional.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Another thing is that most refugees who fled by boat had no idea where we were headed. I mean, if you look on the map, in theory you could see the other side, right? I mean, on a map it looks hella small! If we keep going we're going to hit shore, right?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But you have no idea how vast the ocean is. It's scary vast and when you go out, so far out when there is no land, the depth of the ocean is as far as the eye can see. You’re scared, but you stop being scared because you know death was imminent. When your death [is] imminent, you’re just trying to reconcile with death. We made it by praying to everybody. If Prince was around, I would have prayed to him, too!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Our boat had 302 people on board and it was steaming hot. And we hired a captain who claimed to have traveled the high seas and he had seen the other side -- of course, he fibbed. By the second day we snuck out of the river mouth, heading for the South China Sea. That was on the night of the 19th of May, 1980. That night was pitch black, no moon. It was low tide, but we didn't know we ran into fishing nets.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The fishermen would string these big nets in the river mouth to catch the fish going out. The boat kept going in a circle, because the nets kept drawing us back. So we put the engine pedal to the metal, to the point that we broke the nets. But we also cracked the hull of the boat and broke the engine.\u003c/p>\n\u003caside class=\"pullquote alignleft\">'We didn't think we'd make it.'\u003cbr>\n\u003ccite>Sonny Lê, Vietnamese refugee\u003c/cite>\u003c/aside>\n\u003cp>By the morning we were already adrift at sea. The thing about [being] adrift at sea is that you begin to see debris, and that's when we saw the debris of all the boats that may have sunk. And then we saw some bodies floating.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We didn't think we'd make it. It's like 100 degrees -- sun, humidity, stifling heat in the boat. The smell of sweat, urine, vomit and fecal matter together. It smells horrible and I can still smell that in my nostrils. I call it the stench of death.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And then towards the morning of the sixth day, there was this gigantic ship -- turned out to be an oil tanker. That was the George F. Getty II. We're screaming at the top of our lungs. We would strip our clothes down all the way and we burned them in this big old pot on top of the deck of the boat. Hopefully, we [could] raise hell and people [would] see and turn around.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11624396\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 285px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-11624396 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/1Css9jgkQb48dd8UZSFwZuw.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"285\" height=\"400\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/1Css9jgkQb48dd8UZSFwZuw.jpeg 285w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/1Css9jgkQb48dd8UZSFwZuw-160x225.jpeg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/1Css9jgkQb48dd8UZSFwZuw-240x337.jpeg 240w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 285px) 100vw, 285px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">The author in a refugee camp in Singapore, May 1980. \u003ccite>(Courtesy Sonny Lê)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>All of a sudden, it stopped and made a U-turn. But that was even scarier, when that little tiny wooden boat [was] next to the ship -- it makes quite an impression. Our boat nearly sank because of the waves in the wake of that ship. About 5 a.m., the ship dropped these ladders down to our boat. That's when we knew that we were safe: when the ladders came down and the deckhands of the oil tanker came down.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It was a Filipino crew and the ship captain was Italian. The next day we had our spaghetti with meatballs on that ship! They turned the tanker around and it dropped us off in Singapore the next morning, on the sixth day after we had left Vietnam.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But some of us didn't make it. A lot of people, when they were adrift at sea for so long, they resorted to cannibalism. A lot of Vietnamese refugees ate each other to survive. And the most harrowing experience was the women were being raped by pirates.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The war not only decimated lives and livelihoods, but also it forced people to come up with different narratives for their own lives. Many of us were farmers, fishers, nobodies. So when we landed in America we had a chance to reinvent who we were. A lot of Vietnamese families have these stories that haven't been told. Whoever they were before the war and during the war -- to their kids, they're different people. The war made them want to forget what it was like. This is understandable, but it's history.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>KQED's Bert Johnson and Bianca Taylor produced this report. \u003c/em>\u003cem>This piece was taken from an interview with Lê, which has been edited for length and clarity.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Sonny Lê was born in the Mekong Delta region during the Vietnam War. When he was 16, he was forced to flee the country by boat.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1512174037,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":29,"wordCount":1647},"headData":{"title":"'We Made It by Praying to Everybody' | KQED","description":"Sonny Lê was born in the Mekong Delta region during the Vietnam War. When he was 16, he was forced to flee the country by boat.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"NewsArticle","headline":"'We Made It by Praying to Everybody'","datePublished":"2017-12-02T17:15:32.000Z","dateModified":"2017-12-02T00:20:37.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png","isAccessibleForFree":"Y","publisher":{"@type":"NewsMediaOrganization","@id":"https://www.kqed.org/#organization","name":"KQED","url":"https://www.kqed.org","logo":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}}},"disqusIdentifier":"11624256 https://ww2.kqed.org/news/?p=11624256","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/2017/12/02/we-made-it-by-praying-to-everybody/","disqusTitle":"'We Made It by Praying to Everybody'","nprByline":"\u003cstrong>Sonny Lê\u003c/strong>","path":"/news/11624256/we-made-it-by-praying-to-everybody","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cem>This story is part of a series called \"Faces of the Vietnam War.\" KQED recently asked our audience to submit their stories about the Vietnam War. We heard from refugees, military veterans, journalists, activists and more. This story comes from Oakland resident Sonny Lê, who was born in South Vietnam during the war.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I grew up in the Mekong Delta. You could say that's the deep, deep south. Back in the days, it would take you about six hours to travel from Saigon, or Ho Chi Minh City, to the Mekong Delta region along the coast bordering Cambodia.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That was the southern hideout area of the National Liberation Front, or Viet Cong. We used to have a saying: “Day and night.” We literally meant who was who. So daytime belonged to the Republicans -- that would be the U.S.-backed regime, South Vietnam.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Nighttime was when it belonged to the National Liberation Front guerrillas. At night, they came home to see their wives, their kids. And then during the day they disappeared again. I mean, you couldn't tell who the enemies were. Basically the American soldier couldn’t, even the Vietnamese couldn't tell.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Throughout my childhood the war was the backdrop, because my father was working for the government. He was a communications officer for the U.S. and for the Vietnamese military. So the war was always part of us.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Up until 1975, Vietnam wasn't at peace for centuries. By the time the U.S. got involved in Vietnam, it was called the Second Indochinese War. The first one was with the French. In Vietnam, at that point, we were so inured to the sounds of war that we simply said, “Yeah, but it's over there.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11624400\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11624400\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/temple-800x459.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"459\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/temple-800x459.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/temple-160x92.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/temple-1020x585.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/temple-1920x1102.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/temple-1180x677.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/temple-960x551.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/temple-240x138.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/temple-375x215.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/temple-520x298.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">On the left is the house where Sonny Lê lived with his family in 1975. On the right, a Cao Đài Buddhist temple founded by his grandmother, photographed in 2015. \u003ccite>(Courtesy Sonny Lê)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>For kids, war is a lot of fun. We helped carry these shells for fun because, within these shells, you have these gunpowder pellets. They look just like fish feed pellets and they were fantastic! You take a little bit of aluminum foil, you wrap it around, you light it up and whoosh! It's like the gunpowder pellets were out of firecrackers and fireworks. The soldiers would give them to us, the kids, to play with. That was our reward for helping the soldiers carrying those shells.\u003c/p>\n\u003caside class=\"pullquote alignleft\">'The worst thing about artillery is that they land where they land.'\u003cbr>\n\u003ccite>Sonny Lê, Vietnamese refugee\u003c/cite>\u003c/aside>\n\u003cp>April 30 is considered the day that the country was reunified. That night, we heard on the radio that the national radio broadcast was cut off -- radio silence. South Vietnam had lost; the country basically was gone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The night of April 30, we heard sporadic gunfire. Back in those days, nearly every house had a bomb shelter. It was basically a big earthen pot underneath the ground and we all got in there, under the bed. We were hiding in that pot and we heard footsteps running back and forth on the road and then we heard sounds of tires screeching -- the former South Vietnamese soldiers running away, or being chased.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You thought, “We're going to die,” because the biggest fear at that point was bombings or artillery. The worst thing about artillery is that they land where they land. They don't have names on those shells and so they just could land anywhere.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I don't think my father came home until a week later. We thought he either died or [was] captured during the chaos. The very people who came to relieve my father were his drinking buddies, but they were undercover commies. On May 1, he was their captive.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My dad's brothers-in-law -- two of them were commies, too, and we didn't know until after the war. One of them was a high-ranking member. The other was running guns for the National Liberation Front. The Vietnam War divided families and family members were fighting on both sides, sometimes against each other.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When I left I was going on 17, so I was that close to drafting age. Vietnam was fighting two wars: in the north with China, in the south with Cambodia. At the time Vietnam was broken, economically speaking, and Vietnam was in a panic. So any Vietnamese, even northerners, had to flee for their lives.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11624407\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 640px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-large wp-image-11624407\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/SCAN0037-1-1020x1516.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"951\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/SCAN0037-1-1020x1516.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/SCAN0037-1-160x238.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/SCAN0037-1-800x1189.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/SCAN0037-1-960x1427.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/SCAN0037-1-240x357.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/SCAN0037-1-375x557.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/SCAN0037-1-520x773.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/SCAN0037-1.jpg 1152w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Sonny Lê's father (center) and uncles. \u003ccite>(Courtesy Sonny Lê)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>My boat left in 1980, with some cousins, and then subsequently there was another boat planned for 1981 that would have been my uncles and possibly my family, but that boat got caught. They got busted, and so they went to jail.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A lot of people went to jail and [got] tortured pretty good, but thankfully some of our family members were part of the communist regime so they rescued their own brothers-in-law. So that's how I ended up here without my family. That wasn't intentional.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Another thing is that most refugees who fled by boat had no idea where we were headed. I mean, if you look on the map, in theory you could see the other side, right? I mean, on a map it looks hella small! If we keep going we're going to hit shore, right?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But you have no idea how vast the ocean is. It's scary vast and when you go out, so far out when there is no land, the depth of the ocean is as far as the eye can see. You’re scared, but you stop being scared because you know death was imminent. When your death [is] imminent, you’re just trying to reconcile with death. We made it by praying to everybody. If Prince was around, I would have prayed to him, too!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Our boat had 302 people on board and it was steaming hot. And we hired a captain who claimed to have traveled the high seas and he had seen the other side -- of course, he fibbed. By the second day we snuck out of the river mouth, heading for the South China Sea. That was on the night of the 19th of May, 1980. That night was pitch black, no moon. It was low tide, but we didn't know we ran into fishing nets.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The fishermen would string these big nets in the river mouth to catch the fish going out. The boat kept going in a circle, because the nets kept drawing us back. So we put the engine pedal to the metal, to the point that we broke the nets. But we also cracked the hull of the boat and broke the engine.\u003c/p>\n\u003caside class=\"pullquote alignleft\">'We didn't think we'd make it.'\u003cbr>\n\u003ccite>Sonny Lê, Vietnamese refugee\u003c/cite>\u003c/aside>\n\u003cp>By the morning we were already adrift at sea. The thing about [being] adrift at sea is that you begin to see debris, and that's when we saw the debris of all the boats that may have sunk. And then we saw some bodies floating.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We didn't think we'd make it. It's like 100 degrees -- sun, humidity, stifling heat in the boat. The smell of sweat, urine, vomit and fecal matter together. It smells horrible and I can still smell that in my nostrils. I call it the stench of death.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And then towards the morning of the sixth day, there was this gigantic ship -- turned out to be an oil tanker. That was the George F. Getty II. We're screaming at the top of our lungs. We would strip our clothes down all the way and we burned them in this big old pot on top of the deck of the boat. Hopefully, we [could] raise hell and people [would] see and turn around.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11624396\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 285px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-11624396 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/1Css9jgkQb48dd8UZSFwZuw.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"285\" height=\"400\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/1Css9jgkQb48dd8UZSFwZuw.jpeg 285w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/1Css9jgkQb48dd8UZSFwZuw-160x225.jpeg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/10/1Css9jgkQb48dd8UZSFwZuw-240x337.jpeg 240w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 285px) 100vw, 285px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">The author in a refugee camp in Singapore, May 1980. \u003ccite>(Courtesy Sonny Lê)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>All of a sudden, it stopped and made a U-turn. But that was even scarier, when that little tiny wooden boat [was] next to the ship -- it makes quite an impression. Our boat nearly sank because of the waves in the wake of that ship. About 5 a.m., the ship dropped these ladders down to our boat. That's when we knew that we were safe: when the ladders came down and the deckhands of the oil tanker came down.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It was a Filipino crew and the ship captain was Italian. The next day we had our spaghetti with meatballs on that ship! They turned the tanker around and it dropped us off in Singapore the next morning, on the sixth day after we had left Vietnam.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But some of us didn't make it. A lot of people, when they were adrift at sea for so long, they resorted to cannibalism. A lot of Vietnamese refugees ate each other to survive. And the most harrowing experience was the women were being raped by pirates.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The war not only decimated lives and livelihoods, but also it forced people to come up with different narratives for their own lives. Many of us were farmers, fishers, nobodies. So when we landed in America we had a chance to reinvent who we were. A lot of Vietnamese families have these stories that haven't been told. Whoever they were before the war and during the war -- to their kids, they're different people. The war made them want to forget what it was like. This is understandable, but it's history.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>KQED's Bert Johnson and Bianca Taylor produced this report. \u003c/em>\u003cem>This piece was taken from an interview with Lê, which has been edited for length and clarity.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/news/11624256/we-made-it-by-praying-to-everybody","authors":["byline_news_11624256"],"programs":["news_72"],"categories":["news_1169","news_8"],"tags":["news_17708","news_20463","news_17286","news_21633","news_5067","news_20043"],"featImg":"news_11624315","label":"news_72"},"news_11619585":{"type":"posts","id":"news_11619585","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"news","id":"11619585","score":null,"sort":[1506870598000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"the-vietnam-vet-who-returned-as-santa-claus","title":"The Vietnam Vet Who Returned (as Santa Claus)","publishDate":1506870598,"format":"image","headTitle":"The California Report | KQED News","labelTerm":{"term":72,"site":"news"},"content":"\u003cp>\u003cem>This story is part of a series called \"Faces of the Vietnam War.\" KQED recently asked our audience to submit their stories about the Vietnam War. We heard from refugees, military veterans, journalists, activists and more. This story is about San Francisco resident John Dubpernell, 67, who served in the U.S. Army during the war.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anniversaries can be important for veterans. “For me, it’s March 5,” said veteran John Dubpernell. On that date in 1971, he was a door gunner serving in Vietnam with the 282nd Assault Helicopter Company, which was providing air support for the South Vietnamese army during an operation called Lam Son 719. “Vietnam’s version of D-Day” is what he calls it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The U.S. military deployed many helicopters during the massive campaign, including Dubpernell’s Huey. One day, while his aircraft was returning from a dangerous mission, a mayday call came over the radio. Dubpernell, who was sitting in the left doorway, looked out over the far side of the gunship and said he saw another helicopter going down in flames.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now on high alert, his helicopter began taking fire. “I don’t know whether I hear or feel the aircraft taking hits,” he recalled. “So I immediately started firing below.” After they got clear of the area, Dubpernell said he noticed that his seat, which had been modified to include an armor plate by a previous crew member, had stopped an AK-47 bullet. “That saved my life,” he said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11619601\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 640px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-large wp-image-11619601\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/00186_p_11afcgqrw30067_z-1020x670.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"420\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/00186_p_11afcgqrw30067_z-1020x670.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/00186_p_11afcgqrw30067_z-160x105.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/00186_p_11afcgqrw30067_z-800x525.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/00186_p_11afcgqrw30067_z-1920x1260.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/00186_p_11afcgqrw30067_z-1180x775.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/00186_p_11afcgqrw30067_z-960x630.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/00186_p_11afcgqrw30067_z-240x158.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/00186_p_11afcgqrw30067_z-375x246.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/00186_p_11afcgqrw30067_z-520x341.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Bullet holes in John Dubpernell's helicopter after a firefight on March 5, 1971 \u003ccite>(Courtesy John Dubpernell)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Lam Son 719 was one of the bloodiest battles in the war, and Army helicopter crews \u003ca href=\"http://www.businessinsider.com/uncovering-the-story-of-one-of-the-vietnam-wars-bloodiest-battles-2015-1\">suffered heavy losses\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For decades, Dubpernell avoided the anniversary of the day when he was nearly killed. “When I came home in December of 1971, I put a weld around the door that was that part of my life,” he told KQED. It was only much later, in the late '90s, that he would revisit his time in Vietnam.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dubpernell had been drafted into the Army in June 1970 and served on UH-1 Huey gunships, which he calls “the Jeep of the sky.” He was stationed in Da Nang, a city on Vietnam's central coast, and quickly rose through the enlisted ranks to become a crew chief -- a job that made him responsible for the whole helicopter, including its maintenance, fueling and more.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>To this day, Dubpernell still holds the fellowship of being on a combat flight crew in high esteem. “There's that unspoken aspect of camaraderie,” he said. “In civilian life, you'll never experience it.” But his combat experience left him traumatized and disenchanted.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The urge to put Vietnam behind him began soon after Dubpernell returned home. Revelations about the government’s dishonest handling of the war only deepened his desire to forget his experiences, he said. “I read Daniel Ellsberg's 'Pentagon Papers' and that's when it really cemented my feelings about Vietnam -- really putting a weld around the door and wanting to forget the whole thing,” he said.\u003c/p>\n\u003caside class=\"pullquote alignleft\">'I just had this compelling desire to go back to Vietnam. And in my heart, I wanted to correct all of the wrongs that were done.'\u003ccite>John Dubpernell\u003c/cite>\u003c/aside>\n\u003cp>When he was 41, Dubpernell got laid off from his job as a production coordinator for a San Francisco-based printer and began searching for meaning in life. He ended up reading \"When Heaven and Earth Changed Places,\" a memoir by Vietnamese-American author Le Ly Hayslip about her experience of the war as a child. In it, he learned that Hayslip had founded a nonprofit called East Meets West, which provides support for a government-run orphanage in Da Nang.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dubpernell decided to visit the orphanage, called Village of Hope, in December 1998. “I just had this compelling desire to go back to Vietnam. And in my heart, I wanted to correct all of the wrongs that were done,” he said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While Dubpernell was visiting the East Meets West offices in Da Nang, the staff told him they were planning to celebrate Christmas with the kids in the orphanage and invited him along.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“We're even going to have a Santa Claus,” he remembers them saying. Back at his hotel, Dubpernell thought about the celebration and came to a decision: “I'm saying to myself: I want to be that Santa Claus. I've got the moustache.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11619603\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 640px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-large wp-image-11619603\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/RS26580_20170912_VietnamStories_JohnDubpernell_Credit_BertJohnson-3-qut-1020x680.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"427\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/RS26580_20170912_VietnamStories_JohnDubpernell_Credit_BertJohnson-3-qut-1020x680.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/RS26580_20170912_VietnamStories_JohnDubpernell_Credit_BertJohnson-3-qut-160x107.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/RS26580_20170912_VietnamStories_JohnDubpernell_Credit_BertJohnson-3-qut-800x533.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/RS26580_20170912_VietnamStories_JohnDubpernell_Credit_BertJohnson-3-qut.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/RS26580_20170912_VietnamStories_JohnDubpernell_Credit_BertJohnson-3-qut-1180x787.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/RS26580_20170912_VietnamStories_JohnDubpernell_Credit_BertJohnson-3-qut-960x640.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/RS26580_20170912_VietnamStories_JohnDubpernell_Credit_BertJohnson-3-qut-240x160.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/RS26580_20170912_VietnamStories_JohnDubpernell_Credit_BertJohnson-3-qut-375x250.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/RS26580_20170912_VietnamStories_JohnDubpernell_Credit_BertJohnson-3-qut-520x347.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">John Dubpernell shows photos from his visits to Village of Hope, an orphanage in Da Nang, Vietnam. He has gone back three times to play Santa Claus and distribute gifts to the children who live there. \u003ccite>(Bert Johnson/KQED)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>The staff agreed and Dubpernell, dressed as St. Nicholas, shared dinner and gifts with the children at Village of Hope. The experience was so gratifying that he went back. “I have done three trips, each time going back in December and playing Santa Claus in Da Nang,” he said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Following that first visit, Dubpernell started experiencing severe symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). In the decades following his deployment, he'd struggled with anger issues, but his return to Da Nang set off a new series of reactions.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I was a basket case in terms of crying,” he told KQED. “I was drinking heavily.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Some friends, fellow combat veterans, grew concerned when they recognized his symptoms and urged him to seek help.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dubpernell followed their advice and enrolled in a mental health program at the VA’s San Francisco medical center in 1999.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Once he was diagnosed with PTSD, Dubpernell committed himself to treatment and still attends group therapy three times a week. “All those years I invested in my PTSD therapies, it pays off,” he said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11619611\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 640px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-large wp-image-11619611\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/Dubpernell-edit-1020x662.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"415\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/Dubpernell-edit-1020x662.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/Dubpernell-edit-160x104.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/Dubpernell-edit-800x519.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/Dubpernell-edit-1180x766.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/Dubpernell-edit-960x623.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/Dubpernell-edit-240x156.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/Dubpernell-edit-375x243.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/Dubpernell-edit-520x338.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/Dubpernell-edit.jpg 1819w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">John Dubpernell photographed early in his deployment to Vietnam. \u003ccite>(Courtesy John Dubpernell)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>The trauma Dubpernell experienced has affected his life in other ways, too. “Like other people dealing with PTSD, relationships are a real challenge,” he said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dubpernell, who came out as gay shortly after he left the military, described a fraught romantic life. “I think the longest relationship I ever had was two months, so it was very difficult.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>During his deployment, he remembers he had to be on guard for fear of revealing his identity as a gay man. But in the years since, Dubpernell said that other Vietnam veterans have been accepting of his sexual orientation. “It was a non-issue, as long as you did your job,” he said. “And I did.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Although his return trips offered Dubpernell a chance to make amends and connect with a new generation of Vietnamese children, they were bittersweet. During his visits to Da Nang, Dubpernell said, he repressed the feelings that came back to him until he got home, just like he had during the war.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“In Vietnam, you had a job to do and you couldn't allow your emotions to get in the way,” he said. “When I was doing my Santa thing I couldn't allow my emotions to get in the way, because I had a job to do: playing Santa Claus.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>KQED's Peter Arcuni contributed to this story.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"John Dubpernell tried to put the Vietnam War behind him. But to move forward, he found he had to go back.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1506733996,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":27,"wordCount":1255},"headData":{"title":"The Vietnam Vet Who Returned (as Santa Claus) | KQED","description":"John Dubpernell tried to put the Vietnam War behind him. But to move forward, he found he had to go back.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"NewsArticle","headline":"The Vietnam Vet Who Returned (as Santa Claus)","datePublished":"2017-10-01T15:09:58.000Z","dateModified":"2017-09-30T01:13:16.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png","isAccessibleForFree":"Y","publisher":{"@type":"NewsMediaOrganization","@id":"https://www.kqed.org/#organization","name":"KQED","url":"https://www.kqed.org","logo":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}}},"disqusIdentifier":"11619585 https://ww2.kqed.org/news/?p=11619585","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/2017/10/01/the-vietnam-vet-who-returned-as-santa-claus/","disqusTitle":"The Vietnam Vet Who Returned (as Santa Claus)","path":"/news/11619585/the-vietnam-vet-who-returned-as-santa-claus","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cem>This story is part of a series called \"Faces of the Vietnam War.\" KQED recently asked our audience to submit their stories about the Vietnam War. We heard from refugees, military veterans, journalists, activists and more. This story is about San Francisco resident John Dubpernell, 67, who served in the U.S. Army during the war.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anniversaries can be important for veterans. “For me, it’s March 5,” said veteran John Dubpernell. On that date in 1971, he was a door gunner serving in Vietnam with the 282nd Assault Helicopter Company, which was providing air support for the South Vietnamese army during an operation called Lam Son 719. “Vietnam’s version of D-Day” is what he calls it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The U.S. military deployed many helicopters during the massive campaign, including Dubpernell’s Huey. One day, while his aircraft was returning from a dangerous mission, a mayday call came over the radio. Dubpernell, who was sitting in the left doorway, looked out over the far side of the gunship and said he saw another helicopter going down in flames.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now on high alert, his helicopter began taking fire. “I don’t know whether I hear or feel the aircraft taking hits,” he recalled. “So I immediately started firing below.” After they got clear of the area, Dubpernell said he noticed that his seat, which had been modified to include an armor plate by a previous crew member, had stopped an AK-47 bullet. “That saved my life,” he said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11619601\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 640px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-large wp-image-11619601\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/00186_p_11afcgqrw30067_z-1020x670.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"420\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/00186_p_11afcgqrw30067_z-1020x670.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/00186_p_11afcgqrw30067_z-160x105.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/00186_p_11afcgqrw30067_z-800x525.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/00186_p_11afcgqrw30067_z-1920x1260.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/00186_p_11afcgqrw30067_z-1180x775.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/00186_p_11afcgqrw30067_z-960x630.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/00186_p_11afcgqrw30067_z-240x158.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/00186_p_11afcgqrw30067_z-375x246.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/00186_p_11afcgqrw30067_z-520x341.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Bullet holes in John Dubpernell's helicopter after a firefight on March 5, 1971 \u003ccite>(Courtesy John Dubpernell)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Lam Son 719 was one of the bloodiest battles in the war, and Army helicopter crews \u003ca href=\"http://www.businessinsider.com/uncovering-the-story-of-one-of-the-vietnam-wars-bloodiest-battles-2015-1\">suffered heavy losses\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For decades, Dubpernell avoided the anniversary of the day when he was nearly killed. “When I came home in December of 1971, I put a weld around the door that was that part of my life,” he told KQED. It was only much later, in the late '90s, that he would revisit his time in Vietnam.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dubpernell had been drafted into the Army in June 1970 and served on UH-1 Huey gunships, which he calls “the Jeep of the sky.” He was stationed in Da Nang, a city on Vietnam's central coast, and quickly rose through the enlisted ranks to become a crew chief -- a job that made him responsible for the whole helicopter, including its maintenance, fueling and more.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>To this day, Dubpernell still holds the fellowship of being on a combat flight crew in high esteem. “There's that unspoken aspect of camaraderie,” he said. “In civilian life, you'll never experience it.” But his combat experience left him traumatized and disenchanted.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The urge to put Vietnam behind him began soon after Dubpernell returned home. Revelations about the government’s dishonest handling of the war only deepened his desire to forget his experiences, he said. “I read Daniel Ellsberg's 'Pentagon Papers' and that's when it really cemented my feelings about Vietnam -- really putting a weld around the door and wanting to forget the whole thing,” he said.\u003c/p>\n\u003caside class=\"pullquote alignleft\">'I just had this compelling desire to go back to Vietnam. And in my heart, I wanted to correct all of the wrongs that were done.'\u003ccite>John Dubpernell\u003c/cite>\u003c/aside>\n\u003cp>When he was 41, Dubpernell got laid off from his job as a production coordinator for a San Francisco-based printer and began searching for meaning in life. He ended up reading \"When Heaven and Earth Changed Places,\" a memoir by Vietnamese-American author Le Ly Hayslip about her experience of the war as a child. In it, he learned that Hayslip had founded a nonprofit called East Meets West, which provides support for a government-run orphanage in Da Nang.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dubpernell decided to visit the orphanage, called Village of Hope, in December 1998. “I just had this compelling desire to go back to Vietnam. And in my heart, I wanted to correct all of the wrongs that were done,” he said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While Dubpernell was visiting the East Meets West offices in Da Nang, the staff told him they were planning to celebrate Christmas with the kids in the orphanage and invited him along.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“We're even going to have a Santa Claus,” he remembers them saying. Back at his hotel, Dubpernell thought about the celebration and came to a decision: “I'm saying to myself: I want to be that Santa Claus. I've got the moustache.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11619603\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 640px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-large wp-image-11619603\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/RS26580_20170912_VietnamStories_JohnDubpernell_Credit_BertJohnson-3-qut-1020x680.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"427\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/RS26580_20170912_VietnamStories_JohnDubpernell_Credit_BertJohnson-3-qut-1020x680.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/RS26580_20170912_VietnamStories_JohnDubpernell_Credit_BertJohnson-3-qut-160x107.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/RS26580_20170912_VietnamStories_JohnDubpernell_Credit_BertJohnson-3-qut-800x533.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/RS26580_20170912_VietnamStories_JohnDubpernell_Credit_BertJohnson-3-qut.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/RS26580_20170912_VietnamStories_JohnDubpernell_Credit_BertJohnson-3-qut-1180x787.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/RS26580_20170912_VietnamStories_JohnDubpernell_Credit_BertJohnson-3-qut-960x640.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/RS26580_20170912_VietnamStories_JohnDubpernell_Credit_BertJohnson-3-qut-240x160.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/RS26580_20170912_VietnamStories_JohnDubpernell_Credit_BertJohnson-3-qut-375x250.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/RS26580_20170912_VietnamStories_JohnDubpernell_Credit_BertJohnson-3-qut-520x347.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">John Dubpernell shows photos from his visits to Village of Hope, an orphanage in Da Nang, Vietnam. He has gone back three times to play Santa Claus and distribute gifts to the children who live there. \u003ccite>(Bert Johnson/KQED)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>The staff agreed and Dubpernell, dressed as St. Nicholas, shared dinner and gifts with the children at Village of Hope. The experience was so gratifying that he went back. “I have done three trips, each time going back in December and playing Santa Claus in Da Nang,” he said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Following that first visit, Dubpernell started experiencing severe symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). In the decades following his deployment, he'd struggled with anger issues, but his return to Da Nang set off a new series of reactions.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I was a basket case in terms of crying,” he told KQED. “I was drinking heavily.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Some friends, fellow combat veterans, grew concerned when they recognized his symptoms and urged him to seek help.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dubpernell followed their advice and enrolled in a mental health program at the VA’s San Francisco medical center in 1999.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Once he was diagnosed with PTSD, Dubpernell committed himself to treatment and still attends group therapy three times a week. “All those years I invested in my PTSD therapies, it pays off,” he said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11619611\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 640px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-large wp-image-11619611\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/Dubpernell-edit-1020x662.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"415\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/Dubpernell-edit-1020x662.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/Dubpernell-edit-160x104.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/Dubpernell-edit-800x519.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/Dubpernell-edit-1180x766.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/Dubpernell-edit-960x623.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/Dubpernell-edit-240x156.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/Dubpernell-edit-375x243.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/Dubpernell-edit-520x338.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/Dubpernell-edit.jpg 1819w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">John Dubpernell photographed early in his deployment to Vietnam. \u003ccite>(Courtesy John Dubpernell)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>The trauma Dubpernell experienced has affected his life in other ways, too. “Like other people dealing with PTSD, relationships are a real challenge,” he said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dubpernell, who came out as gay shortly after he left the military, described a fraught romantic life. “I think the longest relationship I ever had was two months, so it was very difficult.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>During his deployment, he remembers he had to be on guard for fear of revealing his identity as a gay man. But in the years since, Dubpernell said that other Vietnam veterans have been accepting of his sexual orientation. “It was a non-issue, as long as you did your job,” he said. “And I did.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Although his return trips offered Dubpernell a chance to make amends and connect with a new generation of Vietnamese children, they were bittersweet. During his visits to Da Nang, Dubpernell said, he repressed the feelings that came back to him until he got home, just like he had during the war.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“In Vietnam, you had a job to do and you couldn't allow your emotions to get in the way,” he said. “When I was doing my Santa thing I couldn't allow my emotions to get in the way, because I had a job to do: playing Santa Claus.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>KQED's Peter Arcuni contributed to this story.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/news/11619585/the-vietnam-vet-who-returned-as-santa-claus","authors":["11328"],"programs":["news_6944","news_72"],"categories":["news_223","news_8"],"tags":["news_19133","news_1416","news_2139","news_17286","news_237","news_21633","news_5067"],"featImg":"news_11619586","label":"news_72"},"news_11618512":{"type":"posts","id":"news_11618512","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"news","id":"11618512","score":null,"sort":[1506784171000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"more-than-hell-a-military-brats-vietnam","title":"'More Than Hell': A Military Brat's Vietnam","publishDate":1506784171,"format":"image","headTitle":"The California Report | KQED News","labelTerm":{"term":72,"site":"news"},"content":"\u003cp>\u003cem>This story is part of a series called \"Faces of the Vietnam War.\" KQED recently asked our audience to submit their stories about the Vietnam War. We heard from refugees, military veterans, journalists, activists and more. This story comes from Sacramento resident Angela Shortt, 59, whose father served in the U.S. Air Force during the war.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As an Air Force Base brat whose parents served during the Korean War and whose father served during the Vietnam War, my views of war, life and death were formed by what I experienced as a child. My family, which was my mother, father, sister, brother and I, were stationed at Clark Air Force Base, Luzon, the Philippines, from 1966-1968.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>During the Vietnam War, I was the oldest daughter of Master Sgt. Richard Shortt, who was a loadmaster flying missions over Vietnam. His job was to load ammunition, food and personnel, and usually they were dropping into active firefights. They had to drop live ammunition, because the guys on the ground didn't have enough time to be opening up boxes and loading things.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11618594\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 400px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11618594\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/1461635447747-Angela-Shortt.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"267\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/1461635447747-Angela-Shortt.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/1461635447747-Angela-Shortt-160x107.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/1461635447747-Angela-Shortt-240x160.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/1461635447747-Angela-Shortt-375x250.jpg 375w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Master Sgt. Richard Shortt receiving a medal for valor. \u003ccite>(Courtesy Angela Shortt)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>My dad did get shot once as they were dropping the ammunition — a bullet grazed his head. He didn't even feel it. It went right past his temple and caught his hair on fire, but he kept working. The flight engineer -- or navigator -- jumped down with a towel and was patting his hair. My father said he cussed him out: “What are you doing? I got to do my job!” And the flight engineer replied: \"Shortt! Your hair is on fire!\" My dad didn't tell us he was injured. We didn't know something had happened to him until he got a Bronze Medal.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As a loadmaster on the C-131s, my dad brought food and supplies in, and the wounded and dead out. We saw the latter whenever we went to pick him up from the flight line, which was located very close to the Military Airlift Command (MAC) headquarters. I will never forget that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The wounded were always placed in cots inside the big, dark-blue buses with the large red and white crosses painted on top. They had to keep putting them into cots that were stacked up -- it looked like all the way to the top.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I would look over there and I used to think, \"They look like they're dead,” because they never moved. My siblings and I never saw the soldiers twitch, move or give any other indication that they were still alive.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[audio src=\"https://www.kqed.org/.stream/anon/radio/tcrmag/2017/09/2017-09-22c-tcrmag.mp3\" Image=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/RS26907_20170912_VietnamStories_AngelaShortt_Credit_BertJohnson-1-2-qut.jpg\" Title=\"'More Than Hell': A Military Brat's Vietnam\" program=\"The California Report\"]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I used to pray that all of them would live, because we also saw the crew members tossing out what looked like large black garbage bags from the back of the C-131s and the C-141s, and my sister and I came to the nearly simultaneous conclusion that the bags contained dead bodies. We used to involuntarily shiver as we watched the airmen do their jobs, despite the stifling humidity of a typical day in the Philippines.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We didn’t dare ask our mother about what was going on because she always seemed so tense when we were parked outside of dad's squadron HQ. I was 8 years old when I saw the crew tossing the body bags off the back of the planes. For me, there was this revelation that war is more than hell, because it doesn't stop when the people die. There's people who are left behind.\u003c/p>\n\u003caside class=\"pullquote alignright\">'I was 8 years old when I saw the crew tossing the body bags off the back of the planes.'\u003ccite>Angela Shortt\u003c/cite>\u003c/aside>\n\u003cp>Believe it or not, that wasn't the worst. The worst was going to the hospital because we went to the same hospital as the guys who were injured. They all had that eerie deadman's stare that sent an involuntary shudder through my entire body whenever I saw them sitting in the wheelchairs that lined the hospital's hallways. They never blinked.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A lot of them were missing body parts. They had tubes going up their arms and bandages all over. I don't know why they would have these guys out in the hallways in wheelchairs, but they would. Maybe the rooms were too crowded.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I don't even remember talking about this stuff with other kids at all. And maybe things are different now, but back then you tried to live a life that was kind of normal. I used to think about my father not coming back, but I would push it away because if I dwelt on it, it would eat me up.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11620168\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 640px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-11620168 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/Angela-Shortt_1497838614496-qut.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"458\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/Angela-Shortt_1497838614496-qut.jpg 640w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/Angela-Shortt_1497838614496-qut-160x115.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/Angela-Shortt_1497838614496-qut-240x172.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/Angela-Shortt_1497838614496-qut-375x268.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/Angela-Shortt_1497838614496-qut-520x372.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Angela Shortt's mother, Mary, and father, Richard, at Maxwell Air Force Base in Montgomery, Alabama, in 1956. \u003ccite>(Courtesy of Angela Shortt)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>But I also learned much from these experiences -- primarily, war is not a game, nor is it as simple as \"killing the bad guys.\" Bullets and bombs aren't movie set pieces. They rend bodies into ghoulish, almost unrecognizable pieces of their former selves, and twist the minds of young men and women in ways that are difficult for people who never served in the armed forces or grew up on military bases to understand.\u003c/p>\n\u003caside class=\"pullquote alignright\">'There was this revelation that war is more than hell, because it doesn't stop when the people die. There's people who are left behind.'\u003ccite>Angela Shortt\u003c/cite>\u003c/aside>\n\u003cp>I was shocked to find out that the reason why I saw so many people wounded and in body bags was because our government had to stop Communism. We didn't stop it. So many lives were lost, and for what? It wasn't about Communism versus capitalism, in my opinion. It was about resources. And people died as a result.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You know, it hurts to lose people, it hurts to be wounded. I've seen that it does things, not just to the body, but to the mind and to the soul. That's why horror movies don't scare me. I've seen real horror and it doesn't compare.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>KQED's Bert Johnson, Bianca Taylor and Peter Arcuni produced this report. \u003c/em>\u003cem>Shortt's essay has been edited for clarity, and material from her interview with KQED has been added to provide greater detail.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"An 'Air Force brat' on a base in the Philippines watched her father bring back the dead and wounded from the Vietnam War.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1506734122,"stats":{"hasAudio":true,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":18,"wordCount":1109},"headData":{"title":"'More Than Hell': A Military Brat's Vietnam | KQED","description":"An 'Air Force brat' on a base in the Philippines watched her father bring back the dead and wounded from the Vietnam War.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"NewsArticle","headline":"'More Than Hell': A Military Brat's Vietnam","datePublished":"2017-09-30T15:09:31.000Z","dateModified":"2017-09-30T01:15:22.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png","isAccessibleForFree":"Y","publisher":{"@type":"NewsMediaOrganization","@id":"https://www.kqed.org/#organization","name":"KQED","url":"https://www.kqed.org","logo":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}}},"disqusIdentifier":"11618512 https://ww2.kqed.org/news/?p=11618512","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/2017/09/30/more-than-hell-a-military-brats-vietnam/","disqusTitle":"'More Than Hell': A Military Brat's Vietnam","nprByline":"\u003cstrong>Angela Shortt\u003c/strong>","path":"/news/11618512/more-than-hell-a-military-brats-vietnam","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cem>This story is part of a series called \"Faces of the Vietnam War.\" KQED recently asked our audience to submit their stories about the Vietnam War. We heard from refugees, military veterans, journalists, activists and more. This story comes from Sacramento resident Angela Shortt, 59, whose father served in the U.S. Air Force during the war.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As an Air Force Base brat whose parents served during the Korean War and whose father served during the Vietnam War, my views of war, life and death were formed by what I experienced as a child. My family, which was my mother, father, sister, brother and I, were stationed at Clark Air Force Base, Luzon, the Philippines, from 1966-1968.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>During the Vietnam War, I was the oldest daughter of Master Sgt. Richard Shortt, who was a loadmaster flying missions over Vietnam. His job was to load ammunition, food and personnel, and usually they were dropping into active firefights. They had to drop live ammunition, because the guys on the ground didn't have enough time to be opening up boxes and loading things.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11618594\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 400px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11618594\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/1461635447747-Angela-Shortt.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"267\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/1461635447747-Angela-Shortt.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/1461635447747-Angela-Shortt-160x107.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/1461635447747-Angela-Shortt-240x160.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/1461635447747-Angela-Shortt-375x250.jpg 375w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Master Sgt. Richard Shortt receiving a medal for valor. \u003ccite>(Courtesy Angela Shortt)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>My dad did get shot once as they were dropping the ammunition — a bullet grazed his head. He didn't even feel it. It went right past his temple and caught his hair on fire, but he kept working. The flight engineer -- or navigator -- jumped down with a towel and was patting his hair. My father said he cussed him out: “What are you doing? I got to do my job!” And the flight engineer replied: \"Shortt! Your hair is on fire!\" My dad didn't tell us he was injured. We didn't know something had happened to him until he got a Bronze Medal.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As a loadmaster on the C-131s, my dad brought food and supplies in, and the wounded and dead out. We saw the latter whenever we went to pick him up from the flight line, which was located very close to the Military Airlift Command (MAC) headquarters. I will never forget that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The wounded were always placed in cots inside the big, dark-blue buses with the large red and white crosses painted on top. They had to keep putting them into cots that were stacked up -- it looked like all the way to the top.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I would look over there and I used to think, \"They look like they're dead,” because they never moved. My siblings and I never saw the soldiers twitch, move or give any other indication that they were still alive.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"audio","attributes":{"named":{"src":"https://www.kqed.org/.stream/anon/radio/tcrmag/2017/09/2017-09-22c-tcrmag.mp3","image":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/RS26907_20170912_VietnamStories_AngelaShortt_Credit_BertJohnson-1-2-qut.jpg","title":"'More Than Hell': A Military Brat's Vietnam","program":"The California Report","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I used to pray that all of them would live, because we also saw the crew members tossing out what looked like large black garbage bags from the back of the C-131s and the C-141s, and my sister and I came to the nearly simultaneous conclusion that the bags contained dead bodies. We used to involuntarily shiver as we watched the airmen do their jobs, despite the stifling humidity of a typical day in the Philippines.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We didn’t dare ask our mother about what was going on because she always seemed so tense when we were parked outside of dad's squadron HQ. I was 8 years old when I saw the crew tossing the body bags off the back of the planes. For me, there was this revelation that war is more than hell, because it doesn't stop when the people die. There's people who are left behind.\u003c/p>\n\u003caside class=\"pullquote alignright\">'I was 8 years old when I saw the crew tossing the body bags off the back of the planes.'\u003ccite>Angela Shortt\u003c/cite>\u003c/aside>\n\u003cp>Believe it or not, that wasn't the worst. The worst was going to the hospital because we went to the same hospital as the guys who were injured. They all had that eerie deadman's stare that sent an involuntary shudder through my entire body whenever I saw them sitting in the wheelchairs that lined the hospital's hallways. They never blinked.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A lot of them were missing body parts. They had tubes going up their arms and bandages all over. I don't know why they would have these guys out in the hallways in wheelchairs, but they would. Maybe the rooms were too crowded.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I don't even remember talking about this stuff with other kids at all. And maybe things are different now, but back then you tried to live a life that was kind of normal. I used to think about my father not coming back, but I would push it away because if I dwelt on it, it would eat me up.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11620168\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 640px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-11620168 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/Angela-Shortt_1497838614496-qut.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"458\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/Angela-Shortt_1497838614496-qut.jpg 640w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/Angela-Shortt_1497838614496-qut-160x115.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/Angela-Shortt_1497838614496-qut-240x172.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/Angela-Shortt_1497838614496-qut-375x268.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2018/09/Angela-Shortt_1497838614496-qut-520x372.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Angela Shortt's mother, Mary, and father, Richard, at Maxwell Air Force Base in Montgomery, Alabama, in 1956. \u003ccite>(Courtesy of Angela Shortt)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>But I also learned much from these experiences -- primarily, war is not a game, nor is it as simple as \"killing the bad guys.\" Bullets and bombs aren't movie set pieces. They rend bodies into ghoulish, almost unrecognizable pieces of their former selves, and twist the minds of young men and women in ways that are difficult for people who never served in the armed forces or grew up on military bases to understand.\u003c/p>\n\u003caside class=\"pullquote alignright\">'There was this revelation that war is more than hell, because it doesn't stop when the people die. There's people who are left behind.'\u003ccite>Angela Shortt\u003c/cite>\u003c/aside>\n\u003cp>I was shocked to find out that the reason why I saw so many people wounded and in body bags was because our government had to stop Communism. We didn't stop it. So many lives were lost, and for what? It wasn't about Communism versus capitalism, in my opinion. It was about resources. And people died as a result.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You know, it hurts to lose people, it hurts to be wounded. I've seen that it does things, not just to the body, but to the mind and to the soul. That's why horror movies don't scare me. I've seen real horror and it doesn't compare.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>KQED's Bert Johnson, Bianca Taylor and Peter Arcuni produced this report. \u003c/em>\u003cem>Shortt's essay has been edited for clarity, and material from her interview with KQED has been added to provide greater detail.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/news/11618512/more-than-hell-a-military-brats-vietnam","authors":["byline_news_11618512"],"programs":["news_6944","news_72"],"categories":["news_223","news_8","news_13"],"tags":["news_21653","news_19133","news_5579","news_17286","news_237","news_21633","news_5067"],"featImg":"news_11618604","label":"news_72"},"news_11617827":{"type":"posts","id":"news_11617827","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"news","id":"11617827","score":null,"sort":[1505977848000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"this-vietnam-paratrooper-was-exposed-to-agent-orange-today-he-lives-with-parkinsons","title":"This Vietnam Paratrooper Was Exposed to Agent Orange - Today He Lives With Parkinson's","publishDate":1505977848,"format":"image","headTitle":"The California Report | KQED News","labelTerm":{"term":72,"site":"news"},"content":"\u003cp>Michael Buckley was 19 years old when he joined the Army. It was the early 1960s, and U.S. involvement in Vietnam had yet to escalate to full-blown ground war. But the draft was in effect, and Buckley wanted his choice of assignments.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>More than that, he craved a life of adventure, and saw the Army as his chance.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I wanted to be a paratrooper and jump out of airplanes and be a tough guy -- jump all over the world and do that kind of thing,” said Buckley, who grew up in Glendale in Southern California.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[audio src=\"https://www.kqed.org/.stream/anon/radio/tcr/2017/09/20170921tcrbuckleyvietnam.mp3\" Image=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/RS26584_20170912_VietnamStories_MichaelBuckley_MaryHelm_Credit_BertJohnson-3-qut.jpg\" Title=\"This Vietnam Paratrooper \u003cbr> Was Exposed to Agent Orange - \u003cbr> Today He Lives With Parkinson's\" program=\"The California Report\"]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Just a few years later, he was assigned to the first regimental combat team in Vietnam, the 101st Airborne Division, or the Screaming Eagles, as they were known. The Eagles have roots dating back to World War II, and are often the first troops to penetrate enemy territory, securing key terrain.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Buckley says he never would have joined up if he had known the war was coming.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11617870\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 500px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-11617870\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/Jump-school-Graduation-photo-2-Morgan-Russell-800x1219.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"762\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/Jump-school-Graduation-photo-2-Morgan-Russell-800x1219.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/Jump-school-Graduation-photo-2-Morgan-Russell-160x244.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/Jump-school-Graduation-photo-2-Morgan-Russell-1020x1554.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/Jump-school-Graduation-photo-2-Morgan-Russell-1920x2925.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/Jump-school-Graduation-photo-2-Morgan-Russell-1180x1798.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/Jump-school-Graduation-photo-2-Morgan-Russell-960x1462.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/Jump-school-Graduation-photo-2-Morgan-Russell-240x366.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/Jump-school-Graduation-photo-2-Morgan-Russell-375x571.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/Jump-school-Graduation-photo-2-Morgan-Russell-520x792.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Michael Buckley's graduation photo after completing jump school. \u003ccite>(Courtesy Morgan Russell.)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\"I didn't want to kill people. I wasn't interested in being a bad guy at all,\" he said. Back home, Buckley had a wife, small child and another on the way to think about.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Vietnam, the thrill of jumping out of airplanes -- which Buckley had thought was \"better than surfing\" -- lost its luster. “I realized: Hey, I could get hurt here, I could really get hurt here, I could die.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In his roughly seven months of combat, Buckley witnessed fellow jumpers smash into the ground after their chutes malfunctioned, bullets whizzing past his head and soldiers who had become like family, killed in front of his eyes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Hell\" is the word he uses to describe the experience.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A case of appendicitis and secondary bout with dengue fever ended Buckley's tour in Vietnam. The soldier who replaced Buckley in his unit died in combat.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After returning home, Buckley attended the University of Southern California, and eventually spoke out against the war.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I saw what war could do to people and I didn't want to be a part of that,\" he said. Instead, Buckley decided he wanted to spend his time helping other people. He became a school counselor and family therapist.\u003c/p>\n\u003caside class=\"pullquote alignright\">'War is terrible for everybody, for people who were in it, for people who are around it, the atmosphere.'\u003ccite>Michael Buckley\u003c/cite>\u003c/aside>\n\u003cp>Of his time in Vietnam, Buckley, now 72, said, “I don't think about it very much. I try not to. And when I do think about it, I'm so thankful that I got out of there. I'm thankful to be alive.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While he considers himself one of the lucky ones, the effects of Vietnam haunt Buckley’s civilian life. He suffers from PTSD, and the psychological trauma contributed to the dissolution of his first marriage.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Several years after the war, when Buckley was in his early 60s, he began to have trouble walking.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I was athletic, but all of a sudden I couldn't walk appropriately,\" he said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Buckley was subsequently diagnosed with Parkinson's disease. His doctors believe his condition is linked to his exposure to Agent Orange, an herbicide used by the U.S. in Vietnam to destroy jungle foliage and the food supply of guerrilla fighters.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/arts/programs/vietnamwar/\">\u003cimg class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-13808862\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2017/09/TheVietnamWar_web_banners-1180x177-Ver_2-e1505759581455.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"401\" height=\"401\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I was in the jungle and they were spraying. I thought it looked like crop dusters. And I realized later that it was Agent Orange. Much later,” Buckley said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The effects of Agent Orange can take years to show up. While scientists still don’t know the exact mechanisms of how it acts, exposure has been implicated in the progression of several diseases, including a number of cancers, Parkinson’s, heart disease and diabetes, which Buckley also has.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In 1991, Congress passed the Agent Orange Act, providing disability compensation and medical care to veterans of Vietnam and Korea.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Following his retirement in 2012, Buckley suffered a bicycle accident that caused his condition to further deteriorate. Earlier this year, he moved to an assisted living home at the San Francisco VA Medical Center. Buckley says he receives top-notch medical care and has plenty of activities to keep him busy. He is particularly fond of gardening.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“There is a community of veterans here,” Buckley said. “I know a number of them, and we all feel like we're well taken care of.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11617875\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 640px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-large wp-image-11617875\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/RS26585_20170912_VietnamStories_MichaelBuckley_MaryHelm_Credit_BertJohnson-4-qut-1020x680.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"427\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/RS26585_20170912_VietnamStories_MichaelBuckley_MaryHelm_Credit_BertJohnson-4-qut-1020x680.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/RS26585_20170912_VietnamStories_MichaelBuckley_MaryHelm_Credit_BertJohnson-4-qut-160x107.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/RS26585_20170912_VietnamStories_MichaelBuckley_MaryHelm_Credit_BertJohnson-4-qut-800x533.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/RS26585_20170912_VietnamStories_MichaelBuckley_MaryHelm_Credit_BertJohnson-4-qut.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/RS26585_20170912_VietnamStories_MichaelBuckley_MaryHelm_Credit_BertJohnson-4-qut-1180x787.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/RS26585_20170912_VietnamStories_MichaelBuckley_MaryHelm_Credit_BertJohnson-4-qut-960x640.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/RS26585_20170912_VietnamStories_MichaelBuckley_MaryHelm_Credit_BertJohnson-4-qut-240x160.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/RS26585_20170912_VietnamStories_MichaelBuckley_MaryHelm_Credit_BertJohnson-4-qut-375x250.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/RS26585_20170912_VietnamStories_MichaelBuckley_MaryHelm_Credit_BertJohnson-4-qut-520x347.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Michael Buckley and his wife, Mary Helm. She drives from Santa Rosa two or three times a week to visit him at the VA care facility where he lives in San Francisco. \u003ccite>(Bert Johnson/KQED)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Buckley's wife of 22 years, a licensed therapist named Mary Helm, calls him every day and visits two or three times a week. Helm says there are times when her husband tells her he feels like he's still at war.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"The effects of what he experienced has had a major impact on our life together,\" Helm said. \"We've had to work hard at our relationship to get this far.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Buckley says he wants people to see how far the reach of war goes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“War is terrible for everybody, for people who were in it, for people who are around it, the atmosphere,” he said. “And I think the United States is so warmongering. It makes me sick. It makes me sad.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>This story is part of a series called “Faces of the Vietnam War.” Last month, KQED asked our audience to submit their stories about the Vietnam War. We heard from refugees, military veterans, journalists, activists and more.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>KQED's Bert Johnson contributed to this story.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Seeking adventure, Michael Buckley became a paratrooper early in the war. He now suffers from PTSD, Parkinson's and effects of Agent Orange exposure — but he says he's one of the lucky ones.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1506040178,"stats":{"hasAudio":true,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":31,"wordCount":1012},"headData":{"title":"This Vietnam Paratrooper Was Exposed to Agent Orange - Today He Lives With Parkinson's | KQED","description":"Seeking adventure, Michael Buckley became a paratrooper early in the war. He now suffers from PTSD, Parkinson's and effects of Agent Orange exposure — but he says he's one of the lucky ones.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"NewsArticle","headline":"This Vietnam Paratrooper Was Exposed to Agent Orange - Today He Lives With Parkinson's","datePublished":"2017-09-21T07:10:48.000Z","dateModified":"2017-09-22T00:29:38.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png","isAccessibleForFree":"Y","publisher":{"@type":"NewsMediaOrganization","@id":"https://www.kqed.org/#organization","name":"KQED","url":"https://www.kqed.org","logo":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}}},"disqusIdentifier":"11617827 https://ww2.kqed.org/news/?p=11617827","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/2017/09/21/this-vietnam-paratrooper-was-exposed-to-agent-orange-today-he-lives-with-parkinsons/","disqusTitle":"This Vietnam Paratrooper Was Exposed to Agent Orange - Today He Lives With Parkinson's","audioUrl":"https://www.kqed.org/.stream/anon/radio/tcr/2017/09/20170921tcrbuckleyvietnam.mp3","path":"/news/11617827/this-vietnam-paratrooper-was-exposed-to-agent-orange-today-he-lives-with-parkinsons","audioDuration":null,"audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Michael Buckley was 19 years old when he joined the Army. It was the early 1960s, and U.S. involvement in Vietnam had yet to escalate to full-blown ground war. But the draft was in effect, and Buckley wanted his choice of assignments.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>More than that, he craved a life of adventure, and saw the Army as his chance.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I wanted to be a paratrooper and jump out of airplanes and be a tough guy -- jump all over the world and do that kind of thing,” said Buckley, who grew up in Glendale in Southern California.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"audio","attributes":{"named":{"src":"https://www.kqed.org/.stream/anon/radio/tcr/2017/09/20170921tcrbuckleyvietnam.mp3","image":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/RS26584_20170912_VietnamStories_MichaelBuckley_MaryHelm_Credit_BertJohnson-3-qut.jpg","title":"This Vietnam Paratrooper \u003cbr> Was Exposed to Agent Orange - \u003cbr> Today He Lives With Parkinson's","program":"The California Report","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Just a few years later, he was assigned to the first regimental combat team in Vietnam, the 101st Airborne Division, or the Screaming Eagles, as they were known. The Eagles have roots dating back to World War II, and are often the first troops to penetrate enemy territory, securing key terrain.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Buckley says he never would have joined up if he had known the war was coming.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11617870\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 500px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-11617870\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/Jump-school-Graduation-photo-2-Morgan-Russell-800x1219.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"762\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/Jump-school-Graduation-photo-2-Morgan-Russell-800x1219.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/Jump-school-Graduation-photo-2-Morgan-Russell-160x244.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/Jump-school-Graduation-photo-2-Morgan-Russell-1020x1554.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/Jump-school-Graduation-photo-2-Morgan-Russell-1920x2925.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/Jump-school-Graduation-photo-2-Morgan-Russell-1180x1798.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/Jump-school-Graduation-photo-2-Morgan-Russell-960x1462.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/Jump-school-Graduation-photo-2-Morgan-Russell-240x366.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/Jump-school-Graduation-photo-2-Morgan-Russell-375x571.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/Jump-school-Graduation-photo-2-Morgan-Russell-520x792.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Michael Buckley's graduation photo after completing jump school. \u003ccite>(Courtesy Morgan Russell.)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\"I didn't want to kill people. I wasn't interested in being a bad guy at all,\" he said. Back home, Buckley had a wife, small child and another on the way to think about.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Vietnam, the thrill of jumping out of airplanes -- which Buckley had thought was \"better than surfing\" -- lost its luster. “I realized: Hey, I could get hurt here, I could really get hurt here, I could die.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In his roughly seven months of combat, Buckley witnessed fellow jumpers smash into the ground after their chutes malfunctioned, bullets whizzing past his head and soldiers who had become like family, killed in front of his eyes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Hell\" is the word he uses to describe the experience.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A case of appendicitis and secondary bout with dengue fever ended Buckley's tour in Vietnam. The soldier who replaced Buckley in his unit died in combat.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After returning home, Buckley attended the University of Southern California, and eventually spoke out against the war.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I saw what war could do to people and I didn't want to be a part of that,\" he said. Instead, Buckley decided he wanted to spend his time helping other people. He became a school counselor and family therapist.\u003c/p>\n\u003caside class=\"pullquote alignright\">'War is terrible for everybody, for people who were in it, for people who are around it, the atmosphere.'\u003ccite>Michael Buckley\u003c/cite>\u003c/aside>\n\u003cp>Of his time in Vietnam, Buckley, now 72, said, “I don't think about it very much. I try not to. And when I do think about it, I'm so thankful that I got out of there. I'm thankful to be alive.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While he considers himself one of the lucky ones, the effects of Vietnam haunt Buckley’s civilian life. He suffers from PTSD, and the psychological trauma contributed to the dissolution of his first marriage.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Several years after the war, when Buckley was in his early 60s, he began to have trouble walking.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I was athletic, but all of a sudden I couldn't walk appropriately,\" he said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Buckley was subsequently diagnosed with Parkinson's disease. His doctors believe his condition is linked to his exposure to Agent Orange, an herbicide used by the U.S. in Vietnam to destroy jungle foliage and the food supply of guerrilla fighters.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/arts/programs/vietnamwar/\">\u003cimg class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-13808862\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2017/09/TheVietnamWar_web_banners-1180x177-Ver_2-e1505759581455.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"401\" height=\"401\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I was in the jungle and they were spraying. I thought it looked like crop dusters. And I realized later that it was Agent Orange. Much later,” Buckley said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The effects of Agent Orange can take years to show up. While scientists still don’t know the exact mechanisms of how it acts, exposure has been implicated in the progression of several diseases, including a number of cancers, Parkinson’s, heart disease and diabetes, which Buckley also has.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In 1991, Congress passed the Agent Orange Act, providing disability compensation and medical care to veterans of Vietnam and Korea.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Following his retirement in 2012, Buckley suffered a bicycle accident that caused his condition to further deteriorate. Earlier this year, he moved to an assisted living home at the San Francisco VA Medical Center. Buckley says he receives top-notch medical care and has plenty of activities to keep him busy. He is particularly fond of gardening.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“There is a community of veterans here,” Buckley said. “I know a number of them, and we all feel like we're well taken care of.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11617875\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 640px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-large wp-image-11617875\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/RS26585_20170912_VietnamStories_MichaelBuckley_MaryHelm_Credit_BertJohnson-4-qut-1020x680.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"427\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/RS26585_20170912_VietnamStories_MichaelBuckley_MaryHelm_Credit_BertJohnson-4-qut-1020x680.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/RS26585_20170912_VietnamStories_MichaelBuckley_MaryHelm_Credit_BertJohnson-4-qut-160x107.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/RS26585_20170912_VietnamStories_MichaelBuckley_MaryHelm_Credit_BertJohnson-4-qut-800x533.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/RS26585_20170912_VietnamStories_MichaelBuckley_MaryHelm_Credit_BertJohnson-4-qut.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/RS26585_20170912_VietnamStories_MichaelBuckley_MaryHelm_Credit_BertJohnson-4-qut-1180x787.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/RS26585_20170912_VietnamStories_MichaelBuckley_MaryHelm_Credit_BertJohnson-4-qut-960x640.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/RS26585_20170912_VietnamStories_MichaelBuckley_MaryHelm_Credit_BertJohnson-4-qut-240x160.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/RS26585_20170912_VietnamStories_MichaelBuckley_MaryHelm_Credit_BertJohnson-4-qut-375x250.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/09/RS26585_20170912_VietnamStories_MichaelBuckley_MaryHelm_Credit_BertJohnson-4-qut-520x347.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Michael Buckley and his wife, Mary Helm. She drives from Santa Rosa two or three times a week to visit him at the VA care facility where he lives in San Francisco. \u003ccite>(Bert Johnson/KQED)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Buckley's wife of 22 years, a licensed therapist named Mary Helm, calls him every day and visits two or three times a week. Helm says there are times when her husband tells her he feels like he's still at war.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"The effects of what he experienced has had a major impact on our life together,\" Helm said. \"We've had to work hard at our relationship to get this far.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Buckley says he wants people to see how far the reach of war goes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“War is terrible for everybody, for people who were in it, for people who are around it, the atmosphere,” he said. “And I think the United States is so warmongering. It makes me sick. It makes me sad.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>This story is part of a series called “Faces of the Vietnam War.” Last month, KQED asked our audience to submit their stories about the Vietnam War. We heard from refugees, military veterans, journalists, activists and more.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>KQED's Bert Johnson contributed to this story.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/news/11617827/this-vietnam-paratrooper-was-exposed-to-agent-orange-today-he-lives-with-parkinsons","authors":["11368"],"programs":["news_6944","news_72"],"categories":["news_223","news_8"],"tags":["news_1416","news_17286","news_17041","news_20498","news_21633","news_5067"],"featImg":"news_11617869","label":"news_72"}},"programsReducer":{"possible":{"id":"possible","title":"Possible","info":"Possible is hosted by entrepreneur Reid Hoffman and writer Aria Finger. Together in Possible, Hoffman and Finger lead enlightening discussions about building a brighter collective future. The show features interviews with visionary guests like Trevor Noah, Sam Altman and Janette Sadik-Khan. Possible paints an optimistic portrait of the world we can create through science, policy, business, art and our shared humanity. It asks: What if everything goes right for once? How can we get there? Each episode also includes a short fiction story generated by advanced AI GPT-4, serving as a thought-provoking springboard to speculate how humanity could leverage technology for good.","airtime":"SUN 2pm","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Possible-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://www.possible.fm/","meta":{"site":"news","source":"Possible"},"link":"/radio/program/possible","subscribe":{"apple":"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/possible/id1677184070","spotify":"https://open.spotify.com/show/730YpdUSNlMyPQwNnyjp4k"}},"1a":{"id":"1a","title":"1A","info":"1A is home to the national conversation. 1A brings on great guests and frames the best debate in ways that make you think, share and engage.","airtime":"MON-THU 11pm-12am","imageSrc":"https://ww2.kqed.org/radio/wp-content/uploads/sites/50/2018/04/1a.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://the1a.org/","meta":{"site":"news","source":"npr"},"link":"/radio/program/1a","subscribe":{"npr":"https://rpb3r.app.goo.gl/RBrW","apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?s=143441&mt=2&id=1188724250&at=11l79Y&ct=nprdirectory","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/radio/1A-p947376/","rss":"https://feeds.npr.org/510316/podcast.xml"}},"all-things-considered":{"id":"all-things-considered","title":"All Things Considered","info":"Every weekday, \u003cem>All Things Considered\u003c/em> hosts Robert Siegel, Audie Cornish, Ari Shapiro, and Kelly McEvers present the program's trademark mix of news, interviews, commentaries, reviews, and offbeat features. 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But is this once sleepy suburb ready for them?","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/American-Suburb-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"/news/series/american-suburb-podcast","meta":{"site":"news","source":"kqed","order":"13"},"link":"/news/series/american-suburb-podcast/","subscribe":{"npr":"https://rpb3r.app.goo.gl/RBrW","apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?mt=2&id=1287748328","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/radio/American-Suburb-p1086805/","rss":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/series/american-suburb-podcast/feed/podcast","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5tZWdhcGhvbmUuZm0vS1FJTkMzMDExODgxNjA5"}},"baycurious":{"id":"baycurious","title":"Bay Curious","tagline":"Exploring the Bay Area, one question at a time","info":"KQED’s new podcast, Bay Curious, gets to the bottom of the mysteries — both profound and peculiar — that give the Bay Area its unique identity. And we’ll do it with your help! You ask the questions. You decide what Bay Curious investigates. And you join us on the journey to find the answers.","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Bay-Curious-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg","imageAlt":"\"KQED Bay Curious","officialWebsiteLink":"/news/series/baycurious","meta":{"site":"news","source":"kqed","order":"4"},"link":"/podcasts/baycurious","subscribe":{"apple":"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bay-curious/id1172473406","npr":"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/500557090/bay-curious","rss":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/category/bay-curious-podcast/feed/podcast","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly93dzIua3FlZC5vcmcvbmV3cy9jYXRlZ29yeS9iYXktY3VyaW91cy1wb2RjYXN0L2ZlZWQvcG9kY2FzdA","stitcher":"https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kqed/bay-curious","spotify":"https://open.spotify.com/show/6O76IdmhixfijmhTZLIJ8k"}},"bbc-world-service":{"id":"bbc-world-service","title":"BBC World Service","info":"The day's top stories from BBC News compiled twice daily in the week, once at weekends.","airtime":"MON-FRI 9pm-10pm, TUE-FRI 1am-2am","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/BBC-World-Service-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/live:bbc_world_service","meta":{"site":"news","source":"BBC World Service"},"link":"/radio/program/bbc-world-service","subscribe":{"apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/global-news-podcast/id135067274?mt=2","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/radio/BBC-World-Service-p455581/","rss":"https://podcasts.files.bbci.co.uk/p02nq0gn.rss"}},"code-switch-life-kit":{"id":"code-switch-life-kit","title":"Code Switch / Life Kit","info":"\u003cem>Code Switch\u003c/em>, which listeners will hear in the first part of the hour, has fearless and much-needed conversations about race. Hosted by journalists of color, the show tackles the subject of race head-on, exploring how it impacts every part of society — from politics and pop culture to history, sports and more.\u003cbr />\u003cbr />\u003cem>Life Kit\u003c/em>, which will be in the second part of the hour, guides you through spaces and feelings no one prepares you for — from finances to mental health, from workplace microaggressions to imposter syndrome, from relationships to parenting. The show features experts with real world experience and shares their knowledge. Because everyone needs a little help being human.\u003cbr />\u003cbr />\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/510312/codeswitch\">\u003cem>Code Switch\u003c/em> offical site and podcast\u003c/a>\u003cbr />\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/lifekit\">\u003cem>Life Kit\u003c/em> offical site and podcast\u003c/a>\u003cbr />","airtime":"SUN 9pm-10pm","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Code-Switch-Life-Kit-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg","meta":{"site":"radio","source":"npr"},"link":"/radio/program/code-switch-life-kit","subscribe":{"apple":"https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/1112190608?mt=2&at=11l79Y&ct=nprdirectory","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnByLm9yZy9yc3MvcG9kY2FzdC5waHA_aWQ9NTEwMzEy","spotify":"https://open.spotify.com/show/3bExJ9JQpkwNhoHvaIIuyV","rss":"https://feeds.npr.org/510312/podcast.xml"}},"commonwealth-club":{"id":"commonwealth-club","title":"Commonwealth Club of California Podcast","info":"The Commonwealth Club of California is the nation's oldest and largest public affairs forum. As a non-partisan forum, The Club brings to the public airwaves diverse viewpoints on important topics. The Club's weekly radio broadcast - the oldest in the U.S., dating back to 1924 - is carried across the nation on public radio stations and is now podcasting. Our website archive features audio of our recent programs, as well as selected speeches from our long and distinguished history. This podcast feed is usually updated twice a week and is always un-edited.","airtime":"THU 10pm, FRI 1am","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Commonwealth-Club-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://www.commonwealthclub.org/podcasts","meta":{"site":"news","source":"Commonwealth Club of California"},"link":"/radio/program/commonwealth-club","subscribe":{"apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/commonwealth-club-of-california-podcast/id976334034?mt=2","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cDovL3d3dy5jb21tb253ZWFsdGhjbHViLm9yZy9hdWRpby9wb2RjYXN0L3dlZWtseS54bWw","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/radio/Commonwealth-Club-of-California-p1060/"}},"considerthis":{"id":"considerthis","title":"Consider This","tagline":"Make sense of the day","info":"Make sense of the day. Every weekday afternoon, Consider This helps you consider the major stories of the day in less than 15 minutes, featuring the reporting and storytelling resources of NPR. Plus, KQED’s Bianca Taylor brings you the local KQED news you need to know.","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Consider-This-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg","imageAlt":"Consider This from NPR and KQED","officialWebsiteLink":"/podcasts/considerthis","meta":{"site":"news","source":"kqed","order":"7"},"link":"/podcasts/considerthis","subscribe":{"apple":"https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id1503226625?mt=2&at=11l79Y&ct=nprdirectory","npr":"https://rpb3r.app.goo.gl/coronavirusdaily","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5ucHIub3JnLzUxMDM1NS9wb2RjYXN0LnhtbA","spotify":"https://open.spotify.com/show/3Z6JdCS2d0eFEpXHKI6WqH"}},"forum":{"id":"forum","title":"Forum","tagline":"The conversation starts here","info":"KQED’s live call-in program discussing local, state, national and international issues, as well as in-depth interviews.","airtime":"MON-FRI 9am-11am, 10pm-11pm","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Forum-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg","imageAlt":"KQED Forum with Mina Kim and Alexis Madrigal","officialWebsiteLink":"/forum","meta":{"site":"news","source":"kqed","order":"8"},"link":"/forum","subscribe":{"apple":"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/kqeds-forum/id73329719","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5tZWdhcGhvbmUuZm0vS1FJTkM5NTU3MzgxNjMz","npr":"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/432307980/forum","stitcher":"https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kqedfm-kqeds-forum-podcast","rss":"https://feeds.megaphone.fm/KQINC9557381633"}},"freakonomics-radio":{"id":"freakonomics-radio","title":"Freakonomics Radio","info":"Freakonomics Radio is a one-hour award-winning podcast and public-radio project hosted by Stephen Dubner, with co-author Steve Levitt as a regular guest. 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You can also visit the MindShift website for episodes and supplemental blog posts or tweet us \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/MindShiftKQED\">@MindShiftKQED\u003c/a> or visit us at \u003ca href=\"/mindshift\">MindShift.KQED.org\u003c/a>","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Mindshift-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg","imageAlt":"KQED MindShift: How We Will Learn","officialWebsiteLink":"/mindshift/","meta":{"site":"news","source":"kqed","order":"2"},"link":"/podcasts/mindshift","subscribe":{"apple":"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mindshift-podcast/id1078765985","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5tZWdhcGhvbmUuZm0vS1FJTkM1NzY0NjAwNDI5","npr":"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/464615685/mind-shift-podcast","stitcher":"https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kqed/stories-teachers-share","spotify":"https://open.spotify.com/show/0MxSpNYZKNprFLCl7eEtyx"}},"morning-edition":{"id":"morning-edition","title":"Morning Edition","info":"\u003cem>Morning Edition\u003c/em> takes listeners around the country and the world with multi-faceted stories and commentaries every weekday. Hosts Steve Inskeep, David Greene and Rachel Martin bring you the latest breaking news and features to prepare you for the day.","airtime":"MON-FRI 3am-9am","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Morning-Edition-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://www.npr.org/programs/morning-edition/","meta":{"site":"news","source":"npr"},"link":"/radio/program/morning-edition"},"onourwatch":{"id":"onourwatch","title":"On Our Watch","tagline":"Police secrets, unsealed","info":"For decades, the process for how police police themselves has been inconsistent – if not opaque. In some states, like California, these proceedings were completely hidden. After a new police transparency law unsealed scores of internal affairs files, our reporters set out to examine these cases and the shadow world of police discipline. 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