A year into the pandemic, Carolyn Bims-Payne lives by her calendar. A single mom with two sons, she typically starts her day around 5:30 a.m. to get ready for work, Zoom school and other appointments.
“Two days out of the week, you get a hot breakfast, which is mom's cooking,” she said. “And then the other days, there's items for you to grab.”
Bims-Payne’s sons — a fourth grader and a seventh grader enrolled in the Oakland Unified School District — are getting older. She’s been trying to give them more independence as they’ve continued to take classes online at home.
“I can't be here every second of the day because as a mom, I still have responsibilities,” said Bims-Payne, who works at Alameda County Social Services, completing assessments for blind and disabled folks. She said she’s been going to the office once a week in person.
Bims-Payne spoke with KQED's Brian Watt last year, shortly after Gov. Gavin Newsom ordered shelter in place statewide. Now, as Oakland public schools are set to begin reopening for in-person learning this month, she checked back in to reflect on a year’s worth of lessons learned and what comes next.
Here are some highlights from their interview:
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Over the past year, Bims-Payne said she's learned that her kids are allowed to have bad days: "As adults we have bad days, but we never think of our children as having bad days," she said.
She recalled a recent moment when she and her sons had had enough of the pandemic-era ritual of logging on to the computer.
“It was like, everyone was in their mood," she said. "It was like, 'Don't talk to me. Don't look at me. I am tired of logging on the computer. I am tired of getting booted off the internet.' "
Remote learning has also made it difficult for her kids to develop new friendships.
"A lot of times you make your friends ... in middle school and junior high," she said, "and that's not an option right now."
She said she’s encouraged her kids to find other outlets to make up for the lack of in-person social interactions at school. Her oldest son joined the Black Student Union at Edna Brewer Middle School and signed up for extracurricular classes.
“It worked,” Bims-Payne said. “He’s opening up. He’s not running to his video game.”
Concerns about kids’ mental health have come up during debates over reopening schools. Even before the coronavirus, depression, anxiety and other issues were increasing in children ages 6 to 17, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
The past year has been challenging for Bims-Payne, too. She said she’s started therapy and participates in parent support groups.
“Just to kind of work on me and my feelings and a safe space for myself,” she said.
