Deep Sea Fishing, Filipino Roots and Belonging ‘Where We Are’
Michelle Cruz Gonzales of Spitboy is Punk AF and Lived to Teach About It
Wives Angelica Medina and Jahaira Fajardo Share Culture Through Dance
Meet the Emo Drag King Who's Bending the Gender Binary
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"content": "\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"#episode-transcript\">\u003ci>View the full episode transcript.\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Like all good sailing stories, Adonis’ love for the ocean begins with a shipwreck followed by a face-to-face meeting with a huge eel. It involves the search for personal identity and the need to pad pockets with paper. Just like many other aspects of Adonis’ life, it centers community.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Adonis is a DJ who is immersed in downtown Oakland’s nightlife scene. They currently work with \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/clubablunt510/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Club A.B.L.U.N.T. \u003c/a>(Asian Black Latinx Uniting with Native Tribes) throwing parties that center queer folks at venues around Oakland.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13956076\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-13956076 size-medium\" src=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/04/Screenshot-2024-04-16-at-12.18.47%E2%80%AFPM-800x1191.png\" alt=\"Adonis stands behind a set of turntables while DJing at an event in Oakland. \" width=\"800\" height=\"1191\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/04/Screenshot-2024-04-16-at-12.18.47 PM-800x1191.png 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/04/Screenshot-2024-04-16-at-12.18.47 PM-160x238.png 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/04/Screenshot-2024-04-16-at-12.18.47 PM-768x1143.png 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/04/Screenshot-2024-04-16-at-12.18.47 PM.png 982w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Adonis stands behind a set of turntables while DJing at an event in Oakland. \u003ccite>(Courtesy of Adonis)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>When they’re not on the turntables, Adonis spends significant portions of their summers doing deep-sea commercial fishing in Alaska. Adonis sees it as a way to pay bills, build community, and learn more about their Filipino roots.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Adopted from Cebu City as a child and raised in Maine, Adonis’ quest to learn more about their heritage has taken them across oceans and seas. They’ve taken trips to visit the Philippines, and have studied the Filipino martial art of \u003ca href=\"https://www.eskabodaan.net/\">Eskabo Daan\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This week we discuss how it all intertwines — the search for self, love of community, deep sea fishing and appreciation of the Bay Area.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13956077\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-13956077 size-medium\" src=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/04/Screenshot-2024-04-16-at-12.19.18%E2%80%AFPM-800x1023.png\" alt=\"A pile of fish appear in the foreground of a photo of two people in a boat on a body of water.\" width=\"800\" height=\"1023\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/04/Screenshot-2024-04-16-at-12.19.18 PM-800x1023.png 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/04/Screenshot-2024-04-16-at-12.19.18 PM-1020x1304.png 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/04/Screenshot-2024-04-16-at-12.19.18 PM-160x205.png 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/04/Screenshot-2024-04-16-at-12.19.18 PM-768x982.png 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/04/Screenshot-2024-04-16-at-12.19.18 PM-1201x1536.png 1201w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/04/Screenshot-2024-04-16-at-12.19.18 PM.png 1234w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Adonis and a friend bundled up on a cold but successful day of deep sea fishing in Alaska. \u003ccite>(Courtesy of Adonis)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe loading=\"lazy\" frameborder=\"0\" height=\"200\" scrolling=\"no\" src=\"https://playlist.megaphone.fm/?e=KQINC1228855841\" width=\"100%\" class=\"iframe-class\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2 id=\"episode-transcript\">Episode Transcript\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">This is a computer-generated transcript. While our team has reviewed it, there may be errors.\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Pendarvis Harshaw, Host: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Welcome to Rightnowish, it’s your host, Pendarvis Harshaw. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Ok, we all know that one person who has a damn good life story to tell. You know, that one person who has seen some wild things and has had some extraordinary experiences, someone like today’s guest. Their name is Adonis.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Adonis is a deep sea diver, a nightclub DJ, a commercial fisherman, and a highly-trained martial artIst, plus they also have a day job. Still, through all of these experiences, they have the ability to find community anywhere, be it in a sea of people in a crowded club or literally in the middle of the ocean. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When it comes to the Bay Area, Adonis has participated in collectives that have been influential in Oakland’s vibrant, queer nightlife. Each one brings much-needed representation and exposure for queer, BIPOC DJs and performers.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Adonis told me some amazing stories about exploration, friendship, and getting connected to the roots of their Filipino identity. I invite you all to enjoy this ride, right after this message.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Pendarvis Harshaw:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> You have this wonderful story of your fascination with the ocean and the seafaring creatures of the world. Where does it all begin? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Adonis, Guest:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> I really think a big part of this story, for me, is being an adoptee. Uh, my parents were from Maine, or, and they live there now. And so I went to Maine, and I started to be a bit rebellious, they might say. And so there was a punk scene in Maine, it got me traveling around. I had lived in Guatemala in Quetzaltenango. I was going to this school called Proyecto Lingüístico de Quetzalteco.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">There had been a post online. It was called riseup.net, which is what all the anarchists use. It was encrypted, uh, encrypted email. And so there was a group that I had been in at the time, which was for women and trans women and non binary folks to connect around shared interests of travel, punk, whatever, music. And so, there was a call out that there was an anarchist sailing meetup in, uh, Rio Dulce, in Guatemala. I wasn’t on the internet like that, so I reached out on my little computer, actually probably I had a library computer, and tried to figure out who was going from our crews.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">There were two spots and, or maybe three spots, and me and a couple friends, who also used to live here in Oakland, we all, we grabbed those spots out of many people ‘cause of our charisma and good looks, I imagine. And so we all got down to Guatemala, however we got down there, and, uh, jumped onto, into these workshops. People had brought their boats, there was people from Spain, people from Canada,\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I really got to see the ocean in a very specific way through sailing. And we were going from Rio Dulce to the Las Islas de la Bahia in Honduras. I forget which one. I think it was Utila. And the boat just fell apart in the storm. Like, the tiller, which is how you control the rudder of the boat, just snapped off. Everything just fell apart and we had to limp back. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">And they were like, “Oh, I’m so sorry. Like, this was supposed to be really cool for you.” And I was so seasick. This was the first, I was like throwing up everywhere. I couldn’t keep food down. It was four days of just trying to get to this place that was not far away. And I, we got back to land and like, “We understand if you want to get off,” and I just looked at them and I was like, ‘That was the most amazing thing I’ve ever done in my life.’ \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[Music]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Pen Harshaw: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">You said you had come in contact with an eel..\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Adonis: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Right, so eventually, we finally made it to Utila. We had to go back, because we were eventually going to go up to Cuba and I think this was 2012. And, um, from where, where I’m from, if you’re in Maine, if you are in the ocean, it’s probably because you fell in and you’ll maybe die there. You just don’t do that. There’s a lot of sailors there. They’re like, “No, no, no, we don’t go swimming here, that’s how you die.” And so I had that in my head, that’s what would happen.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">We get to the Bay Islands and they’re like, oh, we’re going scuba or not scuba diving, uh, “We’re going snorkeling.” \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[Chuckles]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> And I was like, ‘That sounds boring.’ And they’re like, “Oh no, we just crossed this really razor sharp reef over here in our flippers walking backwards. And then you jump in and it’s really beautiful.” \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[chuckles] \u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">And, uh, they finally convinced me. I put on these flippers and so I flopped in, and the reef is just this like, It felt iridescent. The sun was coming through the water. There was just colors everywhere, fish flying around my face. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Um, I looked down and there’s this emerald pile of something on the ground. I’m like, ‘What is that?’ I knew I could dive a little bit. And so, I dove down as deep as I could. And I got close enough and I was like, ‘Oh, that’s a moray eel.’ It was a, like, 15 to 20-foot long moray eel and it had a head that was maybe the size of my own head and it was opening its mouth up and down, up and down with these razor sharp teeth and I was so enamored with this beautiful thing in front of me. I just put my face into it and I stared at it.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I don’t even know how long I had been down there for. So we go back up, and they’re like, “What the hell are you doing down there?” And I was like, ‘Did you guys see that?’ They were like, “Yeah, and that thing could bite you. Like, you just don’t do that.” But I was so enthralled, and I was like, I can’t stop. And so for the days that we were there still repairing our boats, every day I went down there to just look at things. And from that day forward, um, my life became sailboats. And then after that, I would sail for about four years, having my own vessel, um, going up to Alaska and fishing up there, uh, going, taking other people’s boats to Cuba back in the day and helping people get down to Panama, going through Panama canal, all over. So that’s really how it all began. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Pen Harshaw: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">It could almost seem conflicting to some, where it’s like, wait, you fell in love with the eel specifically, the fish, and then you in turn become a hunter and later become a fisherman. And what, what’s the connection between the two? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Adonis:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> I was on these boats with these really amazing women who were sailors, and they all sailed together. They would go to different parts of the world, meet back up, and these women were like, I was like, ‘what do you guys do for work?’ And they were like, “Oh, we are commercial fishermen in Alaska.” And I was like, ‘So I can just go up there and make thousands of dollars salmon fishing?’ And they were like, “This is the best kept secret. You should come up there and we’ll help you get a job.”\u003c/span> \u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">So these women actually helped place me into these positions.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I know Native folks, and I know a couple of like, uh, Black folks, even that came up from Oakland in the 70s that fished up there. But people who were actually running boats or crew, it’s very rare to see people of color up there. And so there’s a whole lineage of Filipinos that were up there in this cannery, which I now fish for. There’s actually a little hut that’s called San Paquita and Caul and that’s where all the Filipinos would hang out at. Um, and it’s still there to this day, and there’s graffiti all over it in this old cannery. And it also has this very huge connection to my life and understanding my own identity. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I was adopted from Cebu City.\u003c/span> \u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I didn’t feel like I had this connection, right? I was like, oh, I don’t know how to speak these languages. I don’t know what my people were doing. I don’t feel connected to my bloodline. And so to have that all tied back together with, I mean, our people were sailors, how did we get there?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">You can look at the Bajau people. Those people are spearfishing. They make their own goggles, they were making their own flippers out of whatever they had around, and they were diving down there for 5, 6, 7, 8, 10 minutes getting food. And they’re still more or less nomadic people that live on boats in the Philippines.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">As I was doing these things, I was like, ‘Oh, this is what my people did. Oh, I can sail. Oh, I know how to fish,’ like, these are skills and talents that live in my blood. And so I created that, like, art from that, just even, like, the art of sailing, knowing how to sail well, and knowing how to fish well, and knowing how to create lures, and knowing how to cast nets. That lives in my body and so I get to express it. Even though I’m not in the Philippines, it was beautiful to feel like I could integrate my mind and body into skills that I feel my people were amazing at. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Pen Harshaw:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> That common thread of things that are, that have been present in your ancestors showing up through you through multiple ways, you have a wide array of talents and fishing is just one of them\u003c/span> \u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">and you’re deeply involved in the community and a number of different groups. I wanted to bring the discussion to the work that you do in Oakland in the nightlife and, and your involvement in it. And so if we could get a little bit of background on yourself as a DJ, tell me about that. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Adonis: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">What was cool about that is that I met this person, and we decided to make art together. And so we created We Are The Ones We’ve Been Waiting For. And\u003c/span> \u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I started working here as a wardrobe stylist and set design, um, when I came to the Bay Area. And so, I would use those skills I was learning in the commercial world, in the commercial industries, and bring it to We Are the Ones, which was highlighting the narratives of, um, Black and brown trans folks in the bay. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Over the three to five years that We Are The Ones was organizing together, um, we just had some really beautiful parties, a lot of amazing people came through who are now, like, doing really well out here in nightlife. And so now I’m with Club ABlunt, which stands for \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[chuckles]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Asian, Black, Latinos, United with Native Tribes. And that was a collective that my very good friend, Melanique Robichaud, or Black, she started with these other women in the 90s, in the early 90s. And so once We Are The Ones went its direction and a few of us went another direction, and so it’s now me and, uh, Aura and DJ Brown Amy and Black who are working together to do a very similar, similar thing. it just feels like we’re now out of the underground and we’re, we’ve been at the Oakland museum at the, I’m going to be representing then at the SF library.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">We’ve been able to pull much bigger, uh, artists as well. People want it. Like, we had Susie Analog at Counterpulse for Oakland Pride and so it’s been really beautiful to feel united on a, on a more global front.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Pen Harshaw:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> So much about Oakland in general, specifically downtown Oakland, the nightlife scene-how would you describe what’s going on right now in Oakland’s queer nightlife scene for folks of color?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Adonis: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">You know, so I feel like I took off a year and a half from going out, and I was like, okay, I’m gonna work on some other projects. It’s been really beautiful to reintegrate into nightlife because, and especially into queer and gay nightlife, which is something that I hadn’t really done. I was creating those events for people, and now I’m going to other people’s events at bars that I really had never spent time in. So, like, I mean, The Port’s about to close down, or like, going to the White Horse, or going to Fluid, which is a new place that’s doing really well. It’s really beautiful and seeing that just proliferate. Because a lot of the times I’m like, ‘SF actually doesn’t really care about us.’ SF feels really gatekeep-y and it’s just pulling all this talent from other parts of the world when there’s so much talent here in the Bay. It’s so nice to see this talent in Oakland.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Pen Harshaw: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I’m noticing this common thread of community and it brings me to wonder, like, when you think of the concept of belonging, what comes to mind?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Adonis: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I guess, as an adoptee, again, I didn’t feel like I belonged. But I feel like I just had to kind of alter my mindset. And be like, I do belong, and I can be here with you, can you be here with me? And when we ask these questions, and I think we really have to look internally and accept ourselves and love ourselves, to know that if anything, we belong where we are.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">And no one can take that away from you. They can try, and they will and it gets violent, but no- I think that’s why we even choose to fight back, is because we understand we belong. And that’s why I do the work that I do, or even just be kind to people because I’m like, ‘You belong and your life should also be filled with ease and grace.’\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Pen Harshaw: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When I think about, you said like, it’s a way of fighting, you literally are trained in martial arts as well. And even through that further community, further sense of belonging, maybe we could start with, um, what led you to martial arts and then we could talk about belonging in that as well.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Adonis: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I mean I danced for a very long time in my life. I played instruments and I think all of those things are connected to the soul of just, you know, being Cebuano, being Visayan, and so I was like, ‘I’m gonna find another art,’ and so I chose-I was like, oh, I’ll try martial arts. So I went on the internet. There wasn’t many places I found, but one stood out, which was called Eskabodan. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When I first walked in, I knew it was a place I belonged to. The school was doing really well at the time on Polk Street and so I stayed. I still train with Grandmaster Kastor today, and he is also a legend. I mean, and now I’m training for my second degree black belt. And I also am assisting him in teaching when we travel to Europe.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">It’s been really beautiful to feel another, another type of community here that is very Filipino and very rooted in a Filipino art and very rooted in martial arts. It’s like dancing and it’s a total meditation, which makes me feel really calm and it makes me feel confident.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">And so when I’m in a place that I think at one point that I would have felt nervous about being in, for my own safety of my body or emotional safety or whatever. I can remind myself that I can be calm and I can remember that I do belong here and that I don’t really have to be afraid.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[Music]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Adonis:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> I was in Paris actually, coming back from a seminar that we were teaching and, uh, some young kid ripped, tried to rip my necklace off of my, off of my body. And I have never had to use any of my skills that way. And I just remember my knee jerk reaction was to grab them, twist, twist their wrists in a certain way, and then I saw, I saw it. I saw all the openings. I saw where I could have caused this person harm, or taken them out in a certain way. And all I did was I just like, put them on the ground.\u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> [laughs] \u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">And I was like, ‘That’s mine. Please give it back,’ and he did. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Like, time felt like it slowed down, and I was like, oh, this is what I do this for. I do this so I can protect myself, and I can also protect my friends, and I can be confident in the world, which is what I feel like a lot of the work that I’ve done in general is about. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Pen Harshaw: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">That’s beautiful, because I’m watching my daughter do martial arts now and I’m like, ‘I wonder will this actually sink in,’ you know? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Adonis:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> It really sinks in. And once it sinks in, it feels like, you can only learn, it’s, it’s like a lesson in life. There’s always more to learn, but the stuff that you learn is priceless and it will always be with you.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Pen Harshaw: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The folks who raised you, your parents, what do they think of your journey, of all the skills that you’ve acquired, all the places that you’ve been, this person that you’ve become? Do they appreciate all of that?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Adonis:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> They do. They’ve always loved me and told me that I was doing a great job. You know, so I was raised by white people, and so I feel like they have this thing where they’re like, “You can do whatever you want in the world.” And so I was told that and, you know, I actually really appreciate that from them.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I mean a lot of my friends, they were told that they were basically demons and-for being queer or gay or being trans or whatever and just demonized for their beliefs or kicked out of their house. My parents would never have done that to me. I didn’t even know parents were like that ‘cause my parents weren’t like that. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Now just through the traditions that I practice and the ways that I view the world. I understand, even though they’re not my birth parents, but both my birth parents and my adoptive parents are the most important things-that they, one my birth parents brought me into the world and then these people raised me. Now I appreciate them, and they have, and what I realize is that they have always loved and appreciated me. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Pen Harshaw:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> All of the things that you do from the martial arts to the fishing, DJing, community building, if there were a way to succinctly tie them all together, how would you explain what the common thread is?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Adonis:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> I believe as an artist I have this very specific desire to live in a very specific way. And at first it was the thrill of traveling and then the thrill of creating art, and then the thrill of learning, and then the, uh, and just having this lust for experience.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I want other people to be able to experience life this way if they want to. I have allowed myself to do that, and I also believe that you should do that. And so, when we get together, what does that look like? Or, like, let’s talk about it, let’s sing about it, let’s write about it, let’s draw about it, let’s what, how do we feel alive? There’s something there that is, like, about living to me. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[Music]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Pen Harshaw: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">It seems to be the thread of my life right now is that, you know, you have one life, but there are many lives to be lived within it and you are another example of that. And so, yeah, thank you. Thank you for that reminder.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Pen Harshaw: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Seriously, thank you.Thank you, thank you, thank you. Big shoutout to Adonis, I appreciate your wisdom and it’s extremely clear that your many experiences have shaped your ability to find and build community wherever you go.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">For more info on queer nightlife in Oakland, Club ABLUNT’s instagram account is clubablunt510. That’s spelled like club A-B-L-U-N-T, and that’s 510 as in the area code.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Adonis can be found on Instagram at bodegavendetta It’s spelled B-O-D-E-G-A V-E-N-D-E-T-T-A.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">This episode was hosted by me, Pendarvis Harshaw. It was produced by Sheree Bishop and Marisol Medina-Cadena. Chris Hambrick is our editor. Brendan Willard is our engineer\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The Rightnowish team is also supported by Jen Chien, Katie Sprenger, Cesar Saldaña, Ugur Dursun and Holly Kernan.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Rightnowish is a KQED production. Until next time, peace!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-12127869\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"78\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-400x39.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-768x75.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Rightnowish is an arts and culture podcast produced at KQED. Listen to it wherever you get your podcasts or click the play button at the top of this page and subscribe to the show on \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/721590300/rightnowish\">NPR One\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://open.spotify.com/show/7kEJuafTzTVan7B78ttz1I\">Spotify\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/rightnowish/id1482187648\">Apple Podcasts\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://tunein.com/podcasts/Arts--Culture-Podcasts/Rightnowish-p1258245/\">TuneIn\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kqed/rightnowish\">Stitcher\u003c/a> or wherever you get your podcasts. \u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"#episode-transcript\">\u003ci>View the full episode transcript.\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Like all good sailing stories, Adonis’ love for the ocean begins with a shipwreck followed by a face-to-face meeting with a huge eel. It involves the search for personal identity and the need to pad pockets with paper. Just like many other aspects of Adonis’ life, it centers community.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Adonis is a DJ who is immersed in downtown Oakland’s nightlife scene. They currently work with \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/clubablunt510/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Club A.B.L.U.N.T. \u003c/a>(Asian Black Latinx Uniting with Native Tribes) throwing parties that center queer folks at venues around Oakland.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13956076\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-13956076 size-medium\" src=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/04/Screenshot-2024-04-16-at-12.18.47%E2%80%AFPM-800x1191.png\" alt=\"Adonis stands behind a set of turntables while DJing at an event in Oakland. \" width=\"800\" height=\"1191\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/04/Screenshot-2024-04-16-at-12.18.47 PM-800x1191.png 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/04/Screenshot-2024-04-16-at-12.18.47 PM-160x238.png 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/04/Screenshot-2024-04-16-at-12.18.47 PM-768x1143.png 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/04/Screenshot-2024-04-16-at-12.18.47 PM.png 982w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Adonis stands behind a set of turntables while DJing at an event in Oakland. \u003ccite>(Courtesy of Adonis)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>When they’re not on the turntables, Adonis spends significant portions of their summers doing deep-sea commercial fishing in Alaska. Adonis sees it as a way to pay bills, build community, and learn more about their Filipino roots.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Adopted from Cebu City as a child and raised in Maine, Adonis’ quest to learn more about their heritage has taken them across oceans and seas. They’ve taken trips to visit the Philippines, and have studied the Filipino martial art of \u003ca href=\"https://www.eskabodaan.net/\">Eskabo Daan\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This week we discuss how it all intertwines — the search for self, love of community, deep sea fishing and appreciation of the Bay Area.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13956077\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-13956077 size-medium\" src=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/04/Screenshot-2024-04-16-at-12.19.18%E2%80%AFPM-800x1023.png\" alt=\"A pile of fish appear in the foreground of a photo of two people in a boat on a body of water.\" width=\"800\" height=\"1023\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/04/Screenshot-2024-04-16-at-12.19.18 PM-800x1023.png 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/04/Screenshot-2024-04-16-at-12.19.18 PM-1020x1304.png 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/04/Screenshot-2024-04-16-at-12.19.18 PM-160x205.png 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/04/Screenshot-2024-04-16-at-12.19.18 PM-768x982.png 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/04/Screenshot-2024-04-16-at-12.19.18 PM-1201x1536.png 1201w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/04/Screenshot-2024-04-16-at-12.19.18 PM.png 1234w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Adonis and a friend bundled up on a cold but successful day of deep sea fishing in Alaska. \u003ccite>(Courtesy of Adonis)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe loading=\"lazy\" frameborder=\"0\" height=\"200\" scrolling=\"no\" src=\"https://playlist.megaphone.fm/?e=KQINC1228855841\" width=\"100%\" class=\"iframe-class\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-content post-body\">\u003ch2 id=\"episode-transcript\">Episode Transcript\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">This is a computer-generated transcript. While our team has reviewed it, there may be errors.\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Pendarvis Harshaw, Host: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Welcome to Rightnowish, it’s your host, Pendarvis Harshaw. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Ok, we all know that one person who has a damn good life story to tell. You know, that one person who has seen some wild things and has had some extraordinary experiences, someone like today’s guest. Their name is Adonis.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Adonis is a deep sea diver, a nightclub DJ, a commercial fisherman, and a highly-trained martial artIst, plus they also have a day job. Still, through all of these experiences, they have the ability to find community anywhere, be it in a sea of people in a crowded club or literally in the middle of the ocean. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When it comes to the Bay Area, Adonis has participated in collectives that have been influential in Oakland’s vibrant, queer nightlife. Each one brings much-needed representation and exposure for queer, BIPOC DJs and performers.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Adonis told me some amazing stories about exploration, friendship, and getting connected to the roots of their Filipino identity. I invite you all to enjoy this ride, right after this message.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Pendarvis Harshaw:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> You have this wonderful story of your fascination with the ocean and the seafaring creatures of the world. Where does it all begin? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Adonis, Guest:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> I really think a big part of this story, for me, is being an adoptee. Uh, my parents were from Maine, or, and they live there now. And so I went to Maine, and I started to be a bit rebellious, they might say. And so there was a punk scene in Maine, it got me traveling around. I had lived in Guatemala in Quetzaltenango. I was going to this school called Proyecto Lingüístico de Quetzalteco.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">There had been a post online. It was called riseup.net, which is what all the anarchists use. It was encrypted, uh, encrypted email. And so there was a group that I had been in at the time, which was for women and trans women and non binary folks to connect around shared interests of travel, punk, whatever, music. And so, there was a call out that there was an anarchist sailing meetup in, uh, Rio Dulce, in Guatemala. I wasn’t on the internet like that, so I reached out on my little computer, actually probably I had a library computer, and tried to figure out who was going from our crews.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">There were two spots and, or maybe three spots, and me and a couple friends, who also used to live here in Oakland, we all, we grabbed those spots out of many people ‘cause of our charisma and good looks, I imagine. And so we all got down to Guatemala, however we got down there, and, uh, jumped onto, into these workshops. People had brought their boats, there was people from Spain, people from Canada,\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I really got to see the ocean in a very specific way through sailing. And we were going from Rio Dulce to the Las Islas de la Bahia in Honduras. I forget which one. I think it was Utila. And the boat just fell apart in the storm. Like, the tiller, which is how you control the rudder of the boat, just snapped off. Everything just fell apart and we had to limp back. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">And they were like, “Oh, I’m so sorry. Like, this was supposed to be really cool for you.” And I was so seasick. This was the first, I was like throwing up everywhere. I couldn’t keep food down. It was four days of just trying to get to this place that was not far away. And I, we got back to land and like, “We understand if you want to get off,” and I just looked at them and I was like, ‘That was the most amazing thing I’ve ever done in my life.’ \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[Music]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Pen Harshaw: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">You said you had come in contact with an eel..\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Adonis: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Right, so eventually, we finally made it to Utila. We had to go back, because we were eventually going to go up to Cuba and I think this was 2012. And, um, from where, where I’m from, if you’re in Maine, if you are in the ocean, it’s probably because you fell in and you’ll maybe die there. You just don’t do that. There’s a lot of sailors there. They’re like, “No, no, no, we don’t go swimming here, that’s how you die.” And so I had that in my head, that’s what would happen.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">We get to the Bay Islands and they’re like, oh, we’re going scuba or not scuba diving, uh, “We’re going snorkeling.” \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[Chuckles]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> And I was like, ‘That sounds boring.’ And they’re like, “Oh no, we just crossed this really razor sharp reef over here in our flippers walking backwards. And then you jump in and it’s really beautiful.” \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[chuckles] \u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">And, uh, they finally convinced me. I put on these flippers and so I flopped in, and the reef is just this like, It felt iridescent. The sun was coming through the water. There was just colors everywhere, fish flying around my face. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Um, I looked down and there’s this emerald pile of something on the ground. I’m like, ‘What is that?’ I knew I could dive a little bit. And so, I dove down as deep as I could. And I got close enough and I was like, ‘Oh, that’s a moray eel.’ It was a, like, 15 to 20-foot long moray eel and it had a head that was maybe the size of my own head and it was opening its mouth up and down, up and down with these razor sharp teeth and I was so enamored with this beautiful thing in front of me. I just put my face into it and I stared at it.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I don’t even know how long I had been down there for. So we go back up, and they’re like, “What the hell are you doing down there?” And I was like, ‘Did you guys see that?’ They were like, “Yeah, and that thing could bite you. Like, you just don’t do that.” But I was so enthralled, and I was like, I can’t stop. And so for the days that we were there still repairing our boats, every day I went down there to just look at things. And from that day forward, um, my life became sailboats. And then after that, I would sail for about four years, having my own vessel, um, going up to Alaska and fishing up there, uh, going, taking other people’s boats to Cuba back in the day and helping people get down to Panama, going through Panama canal, all over. So that’s really how it all began. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Pen Harshaw: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">It could almost seem conflicting to some, where it’s like, wait, you fell in love with the eel specifically, the fish, and then you in turn become a hunter and later become a fisherman. And what, what’s the connection between the two? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Adonis:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> I was on these boats with these really amazing women who were sailors, and they all sailed together. They would go to different parts of the world, meet back up, and these women were like, I was like, ‘what do you guys do for work?’ And they were like, “Oh, we are commercial fishermen in Alaska.” And I was like, ‘So I can just go up there and make thousands of dollars salmon fishing?’ And they were like, “This is the best kept secret. You should come up there and we’ll help you get a job.”\u003c/span> \u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">So these women actually helped place me into these positions.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I know Native folks, and I know a couple of like, uh, Black folks, even that came up from Oakland in the 70s that fished up there. But people who were actually running boats or crew, it’s very rare to see people of color up there. And so there’s a whole lineage of Filipinos that were up there in this cannery, which I now fish for. There’s actually a little hut that’s called San Paquita and Caul and that’s where all the Filipinos would hang out at. Um, and it’s still there to this day, and there’s graffiti all over it in this old cannery. And it also has this very huge connection to my life and understanding my own identity. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I was adopted from Cebu City.\u003c/span> \u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I didn’t feel like I had this connection, right? I was like, oh, I don’t know how to speak these languages. I don’t know what my people were doing. I don’t feel connected to my bloodline. And so to have that all tied back together with, I mean, our people were sailors, how did we get there?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">You can look at the Bajau people. Those people are spearfishing. They make their own goggles, they were making their own flippers out of whatever they had around, and they were diving down there for 5, 6, 7, 8, 10 minutes getting food. And they’re still more or less nomadic people that live on boats in the Philippines.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">As I was doing these things, I was like, ‘Oh, this is what my people did. Oh, I can sail. Oh, I know how to fish,’ like, these are skills and talents that live in my blood. And so I created that, like, art from that, just even, like, the art of sailing, knowing how to sail well, and knowing how to fish well, and knowing how to create lures, and knowing how to cast nets. That lives in my body and so I get to express it. Even though I’m not in the Philippines, it was beautiful to feel like I could integrate my mind and body into skills that I feel my people were amazing at. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Pen Harshaw:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> That common thread of things that are, that have been present in your ancestors showing up through you through multiple ways, you have a wide array of talents and fishing is just one of them\u003c/span> \u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">and you’re deeply involved in the community and a number of different groups. I wanted to bring the discussion to the work that you do in Oakland in the nightlife and, and your involvement in it. And so if we could get a little bit of background on yourself as a DJ, tell me about that. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Adonis: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">What was cool about that is that I met this person, and we decided to make art together. And so we created We Are The Ones We’ve Been Waiting For. And\u003c/span> \u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I started working here as a wardrobe stylist and set design, um, when I came to the Bay Area. And so, I would use those skills I was learning in the commercial world, in the commercial industries, and bring it to We Are the Ones, which was highlighting the narratives of, um, Black and brown trans folks in the bay. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Over the three to five years that We Are The Ones was organizing together, um, we just had some really beautiful parties, a lot of amazing people came through who are now, like, doing really well out here in nightlife. And so now I’m with Club ABlunt, which stands for \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[chuckles]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Asian, Black, Latinos, United with Native Tribes. And that was a collective that my very good friend, Melanique Robichaud, or Black, she started with these other women in the 90s, in the early 90s. And so once We Are The Ones went its direction and a few of us went another direction, and so it’s now me and, uh, Aura and DJ Brown Amy and Black who are working together to do a very similar, similar thing. it just feels like we’re now out of the underground and we’re, we’ve been at the Oakland museum at the, I’m going to be representing then at the SF library.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">We’ve been able to pull much bigger, uh, artists as well. People want it. Like, we had Susie Analog at Counterpulse for Oakland Pride and so it’s been really beautiful to feel united on a, on a more global front.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Pen Harshaw:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> So much about Oakland in general, specifically downtown Oakland, the nightlife scene-how would you describe what’s going on right now in Oakland’s queer nightlife scene for folks of color?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Adonis: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">You know, so I feel like I took off a year and a half from going out, and I was like, okay, I’m gonna work on some other projects. It’s been really beautiful to reintegrate into nightlife because, and especially into queer and gay nightlife, which is something that I hadn’t really done. I was creating those events for people, and now I’m going to other people’s events at bars that I really had never spent time in. So, like, I mean, The Port’s about to close down, or like, going to the White Horse, or going to Fluid, which is a new place that’s doing really well. It’s really beautiful and seeing that just proliferate. Because a lot of the times I’m like, ‘SF actually doesn’t really care about us.’ SF feels really gatekeep-y and it’s just pulling all this talent from other parts of the world when there’s so much talent here in the Bay. It’s so nice to see this talent in Oakland.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Pen Harshaw: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I’m noticing this common thread of community and it brings me to wonder, like, when you think of the concept of belonging, what comes to mind?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Adonis: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I guess, as an adoptee, again, I didn’t feel like I belonged. But I feel like I just had to kind of alter my mindset. And be like, I do belong, and I can be here with you, can you be here with me? And when we ask these questions, and I think we really have to look internally and accept ourselves and love ourselves, to know that if anything, we belong where we are.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">And no one can take that away from you. They can try, and they will and it gets violent, but no- I think that’s why we even choose to fight back, is because we understand we belong. And that’s why I do the work that I do, or even just be kind to people because I’m like, ‘You belong and your life should also be filled with ease and grace.’\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Pen Harshaw: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When I think about, you said like, it’s a way of fighting, you literally are trained in martial arts as well. And even through that further community, further sense of belonging, maybe we could start with, um, what led you to martial arts and then we could talk about belonging in that as well.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Adonis: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I mean I danced for a very long time in my life. I played instruments and I think all of those things are connected to the soul of just, you know, being Cebuano, being Visayan, and so I was like, ‘I’m gonna find another art,’ and so I chose-I was like, oh, I’ll try martial arts. So I went on the internet. There wasn’t many places I found, but one stood out, which was called Eskabodan. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When I first walked in, I knew it was a place I belonged to. The school was doing really well at the time on Polk Street and so I stayed. I still train with Grandmaster Kastor today, and he is also a legend. I mean, and now I’m training for my second degree black belt. And I also am assisting him in teaching when we travel to Europe.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">It’s been really beautiful to feel another, another type of community here that is very Filipino and very rooted in a Filipino art and very rooted in martial arts. It’s like dancing and it’s a total meditation, which makes me feel really calm and it makes me feel confident.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">And so when I’m in a place that I think at one point that I would have felt nervous about being in, for my own safety of my body or emotional safety or whatever. I can remind myself that I can be calm and I can remember that I do belong here and that I don’t really have to be afraid.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[Music]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Adonis:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> I was in Paris actually, coming back from a seminar that we were teaching and, uh, some young kid ripped, tried to rip my necklace off of my, off of my body. And I have never had to use any of my skills that way. And I just remember my knee jerk reaction was to grab them, twist, twist their wrists in a certain way, and then I saw, I saw it. I saw all the openings. I saw where I could have caused this person harm, or taken them out in a certain way. And all I did was I just like, put them on the ground.\u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> [laughs] \u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">And I was like, ‘That’s mine. Please give it back,’ and he did. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Like, time felt like it slowed down, and I was like, oh, this is what I do this for. I do this so I can protect myself, and I can also protect my friends, and I can be confident in the world, which is what I feel like a lot of the work that I’ve done in general is about. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Pen Harshaw: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">That’s beautiful, because I’m watching my daughter do martial arts now and I’m like, ‘I wonder will this actually sink in,’ you know? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Adonis:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> It really sinks in. And once it sinks in, it feels like, you can only learn, it’s, it’s like a lesson in life. There’s always more to learn, but the stuff that you learn is priceless and it will always be with you.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Pen Harshaw: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The folks who raised you, your parents, what do they think of your journey, of all the skills that you’ve acquired, all the places that you’ve been, this person that you’ve become? Do they appreciate all of that?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Adonis:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> They do. They’ve always loved me and told me that I was doing a great job. You know, so I was raised by white people, and so I feel like they have this thing where they’re like, “You can do whatever you want in the world.” And so I was told that and, you know, I actually really appreciate that from them.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I mean a lot of my friends, they were told that they were basically demons and-for being queer or gay or being trans or whatever and just demonized for their beliefs or kicked out of their house. My parents would never have done that to me. I didn’t even know parents were like that ‘cause my parents weren’t like that. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Now just through the traditions that I practice and the ways that I view the world. I understand, even though they’re not my birth parents, but both my birth parents and my adoptive parents are the most important things-that they, one my birth parents brought me into the world and then these people raised me. Now I appreciate them, and they have, and what I realize is that they have always loved and appreciated me. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Pen Harshaw:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> All of the things that you do from the martial arts to the fishing, DJing, community building, if there were a way to succinctly tie them all together, how would you explain what the common thread is?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Adonis:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> I believe as an artist I have this very specific desire to live in a very specific way. And at first it was the thrill of traveling and then the thrill of creating art, and then the thrill of learning, and then the, uh, and just having this lust for experience.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I want other people to be able to experience life this way if they want to. I have allowed myself to do that, and I also believe that you should do that. And so, when we get together, what does that look like? Or, like, let’s talk about it, let’s sing about it, let’s write about it, let’s draw about it, let’s what, how do we feel alive? There’s something there that is, like, about living to me. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[Music]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Pen Harshaw: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">It seems to be the thread of my life right now is that, you know, you have one life, but there are many lives to be lived within it and you are another example of that. And so, yeah, thank you. Thank you for that reminder.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Pen Harshaw: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Seriously, thank you.Thank you, thank you, thank you. Big shoutout to Adonis, I appreciate your wisdom and it’s extremely clear that your many experiences have shaped your ability to find and build community wherever you go.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">For more info on queer nightlife in Oakland, Club ABLUNT’s instagram account is clubablunt510. That’s spelled like club A-B-L-U-N-T, and that’s 510 as in the area code.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Adonis can be found on Instagram at bodegavendetta It’s spelled B-O-D-E-G-A V-E-N-D-E-T-T-A.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">This episode was hosted by me, Pendarvis Harshaw. It was produced by Sheree Bishop and Marisol Medina-Cadena. Chris Hambrick is our editor. Brendan Willard is our engineer\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The Rightnowish team is also supported by Jen Chien, Katie Sprenger, Cesar Saldaña, Ugur Dursun and Holly Kernan.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Rightnowish is a KQED production. Until next time, peace!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-12127869\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"78\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-400x39.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-768x75.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Rightnowish is an arts and culture podcast produced at KQED. Listen to it wherever you get your podcasts or click the play button at the top of this page and subscribe to the show on \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/721590300/rightnowish\">NPR One\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://open.spotify.com/show/7kEJuafTzTVan7B78ttz1I\">Spotify\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/rightnowish/id1482187648\">Apple Podcasts\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://tunein.com/podcasts/Arts--Culture-Podcasts/Rightnowish-p1258245/\">TuneIn\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kqed/rightnowish\">Stitcher\u003c/a> or wherever you get your podcasts. \u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003c/div>"
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"slug": "michelle-cruz-gonzales-of-spitboy-is-punk-af-and-lived-to-teach-about-it",
"title": "Michelle Cruz Gonzales of Spitboy is Punk AF and Lived to Teach About It",
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"content": "\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Warning: This episode contains explicit language.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"#episode-transcript\">\u003cem>View the full episode transcript.\u003c/em>\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Michelle Cruz Gonzales spent her teenage years and the beginning of her adulthood immersed in the Punk scene in the East Bay. She performed under a stage name, “Todd,” in two iconic, all-female groups: Kamala and the Karnivores, and then Spitboy. While Spitboy was active, they toured multiple countries including Canada, Italy, England, and Japan. After Spitboy split in 1995, Gonzales and two other members of the band continued to perform for a few years, under the name Instant Girl.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While Gonzales enjoyed performing, she often had to deal with an indifferent, colorblind attitude from others who didn’t seem to acknowledge racial and ethnic differences: She says, “Punk rock, I think, put some barriers in between me and reclaiming my chicanisma, because I was so kind of, concerned with being in the band, fitting into the scene. I didn’t want to be invisible, but also, you know, there’s this whole system of things that are put into place, that if you’re a person of color, you could easily not be noticed.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Gonzales went on to write about her experiences in her memoir, \u003cem>The Spitboy Rule: Tales of a Xicana in a Female Punk Band\u003c/em>. The book features a series of vignettes, pulled from moments in her life, detailing performances and dealing with sexism from concert goers, how the band formed, how she started performing, and more. Now, Gonzales is an English professor at Las Positas College, and teaches courses with other books that were written by punk musicians and artists.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When asked how it feels to see a new generation of people keeping the punk scene alive, Gonzales responded, “It just makes me happy that the scene is like, thriving, and that kind of art is still important. It’s not about it being a zine. It’s not about it being a band. It’s about it being independent. It’s about that there’s this third space for young people that supports these ideas for young people, and encourages young people to not wait for some Columbus to come and discover them.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>The Spitboy Rule: Tales of a Xicana in a Female Punk Band\u003c/em> is currently available through both Amazon and \u003ca href=\"https://www.pmpress.org/index.php?l=product_detail&p=777\">PM Press\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe loading=\"lazy\" frameborder=\"0\" height=\"200\" scrolling=\"no\" src=\"https://playlist.megaphone.fm/?e=KQINC8491706882\" width=\"100%\" class=\"iframe-class\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2 id=\"episode-transcript\">Episode Transcript\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sheree Bishop, host:\u003c/strong> Hey y’all, it’s me, Sheree, the production intern on Rightnowish. I’m back with another episode. This time, I got to speak to punk writer, Michelle Cruz Gonzales.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Michelle Cruz Gonzales, guest:\u003c/strong> I was already viewed as a freak as a person of color in the small town I grew up in. And I was just like, fuck it,y ou know. If you think I’m a freak, I’ll show you a freak. I’mma be a fucking freak. I’ll be in a band of women that just yells and screams in your face. I’ll be a girl who plays the drums. [gasps] Oh,God forbid, oh so scary!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/strong> As a teenager, Michelle started performing in a band called Bitch Fight. Then as an adult in San Francisco, she performed under her stage name “Todd” first as a guitarist in Kamala and the Karnivores, and then as a drummer for Spitboy. Both of these were iconic, all-female bands. Spitboy was unlike a lot of bands at the time, because their lyrics were a blunt response to unchecked sexism.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For those of you who don’t know, San Francisco’s East Bay is widely considered one of the epicenters of punk music. It’s home to venues like 924 Gilman and the nationwide zine Maximum RocknRoll. Many now-famous bands got their start right here in the Bay, and then went on to gain fame and notoriety across the country, and in many cases, internationally.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Michelle’s memoir, The Spitboy Rule, talks about being a Xicana woman in this same East Bay scene that, at the time, didn’t seem to recognize her for who she really was.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In 2016, her book joined a roster of several ones written by punk musicians from the Bay. Books like these document the history of a culture that has deep roots here, from a perspective that often gets erased.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We’ll talk about how Michelle found herself through performing, feeling seen as a person of color, and more, right after this.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/strong> For people who don’t know, never been, paint the picture of like a typical show. What are like some details? What does it look like? We all know what it sounds like. Where do you fit into this picture?\u003cbr>\n\u003cstrong>Michelle Cruz Gonzales:\u003c/strong> A lot of the shows I went to were at Gilman and, um, the stage is a funny shape and there’s this one side on the right that’s kind of, um, off to the side because the shape is, the shape of the stage, they’ve changed it recently, had like a narrower end on the right side when you’re standing looking at the stage\u003cbr>\nI would often be on that side, away from the mosh pit, because, you know, even though, you know, they had rules at Gilman, they still do, about, you know, no sexism, no racism, no homophobia, et cetera, no alcohol and all that, um, there were a lot of guys who would try to grab your boob or like touch you, you know, when they were going around in the pit and just be disgusting. And I would like, I would wind up getting in fights or almost fights with those guys and so rather than escalating the situation, I would just try to stand on the side.\u003cbr>\nI also didn’t really care that much for moshing. I’m five feet tall. I don’t, I don’t really want to like, be smashed around.\u003cbr>\nRight after Bitch Fight and before Spitboy, I hung out with this group of girls, super multicultural group of girls, who all love to dance. And we would go to every single Operation Ivy show. We’d go to every Crimpshrine show. We’d go to every Green Day show, and we would be in that little corner where we wouldn’t get moshed into, or no one would grab us, and we would just dance.\u003cbr>\nAnd that was, I think, those are some of my funnest times at Gilman. You know, I wasn’t having to worry about playing, or being on stage, or setting up my drums, or guys, you know, saying dumb stuff to me like, “Oh, you hit really hard for a girl,” um, stuff that people would say to me after shows. Um, that was a more carefree time before I was in a band, after Bitch Fight, before Spit Boy. We were just there to support the bands and support the music.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/strong> You’ve performed in a lot of places, literally all over the world.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Michelle Cruz Gonzales:\u003c/strong> Yep.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/strong> What sets East Bay punk apart?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Michelle Cruz Gonzales:\u003c/strong> I think what sets it apart is it, it was born out of, among other things, like Maximum RocknRoll, Gilman Street was born out of a desire to create a safe punk zone for young kids who were into punk.\u003cbr>\nAnd 21 and over clubs weren’t safe, well you couldn’t get into them. And then you had these other smaller shows where there were a lot of fights and a lot of violence. And, you know, just like a lot of, like, toxic male energy that was tolerated. And, um, Gilman Street wanted to create a place where that wouldn’t be tolerated so people could like go to shows and have fun and not feel unsafe. Even though we didn’t talk about gender issues enough and even though we didn’t talk about people of color issues enough and everyone was all like, “Oh, I don’t see race.I’m colorblind.” I’m like, ‘oh, that’s weird.’ Even though that was happening, people also didn’t shun you and didn’t exclude you.\u003cbr>\nWe had people of color from all different backgrounds. We had older people like Murray, you know, rest in peace, Murray, who, you know, who guided us and made us feel safe, but also were like artists and like, had jobs and he like, took all the photographs and documented everything.\u003cbr>\nAnd there were other people at Gilman, like Pat, who also passed away recently, who looked out for the young people and no matter who you were or what your background was. I think that really made it different. It wasn’t just a club where where they were trying to make money. Gilman was always way more than that so I think that’s totally what distinguishes it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>[Music]\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/strong> Gilman is still active today and like you said, a little different and stuff like that. And so I’m wondering, like when you see folks in the East Bay today and they’re doing shows, they’re making zines, they’re doing the same things that you and your friends and your peers did, what, like, feelings does this bring up for you to see people doing the same thing today, especially women of color?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Michelle Cruz Gonzales:\u003c/strong> Um, I mean it makes me so happy that punk is so black and brown now. And the fact that we have bands like Deseos Primitivos in Oakland, who sing in Spanish, You know, there’s so many bands with women in them now, um, queer folks in bands, you know, who are, who are out, um, trans folks in bands.\u003cbr>\nKeep making zines, please, because some of the best new ideas and art, you know, is in zines.\u003cbr>\nUm, so it just makes me happy that the scene is like thriving and that kind of art is still important. Um, and it’s not about it being a zine. It’s not about it being a band. It’s about it being independent. It’s about that, that there’s this third space for young people that supports this ideas for young people and encourages young people to not wait for some Columbus to come and discover them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/strong> This seems to have like taken up and defined like a huge chunk of your life. And so to see people like, having obviously not the same, but experiences with similar music in the same places, um, that’s, that’s really cool, that it’s like, still bringing you joy, even when you’re not actively doing it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Michelle Cruz Gonzales:\u003c/strong> Totally, and now, as a community college, you know, writing and English professor, I’m teaching like, punk memoirs. I’m teaching James Spooner’s book in two of my classes, and you know, introducing these ideas, um, to young people at the community college level. I don’t know why. Like, after my sabbatical recently, I was like, why am I not teaching any punk books? I mean, there haven’t been that many for, you know, for a long time there weren’t that many.\u003cbr>\nNow there are so many more punk memoirs and literature and, um, punk is, is a more mainstream idea or concept now. It’s more socially acceptable and that’s not why I’m teaching it, but I, for some reason before I didn’t even think to do it. And now I’m like, young people, of course, like young people are trying to figure out who they are and they’re feeling rebellious and punk rock is doing all those same things. Like why not teach about punk in my, in my literature classes, in my English classes?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/strong> In your memoir, you mention a lot of these instances of just hecklers. Like you would be in the middle of introducing a song in the middle of playing, and people would start to say stuff that just didn’t make any sense and just was like very derogatory and like rude. And so I’m wondering, like, what did your experiences in Spit Boy teach you about like, dealing with people, especially people who feel the need to insert themselves like that?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Michelle Cruz Gonzales:\u003c/strong> A lot of those comments were really sexist because it was just so threatening for, you know, punk rock, hardcore punk rock dudes at the time to see women on stage. And again, we were, you know, giving our gender studies lesson at the same time, which was not appreciated. Apparently they just wanted to mosh. I just feel like the things that it taught me were….\u003cbr>\nSometimes you just have to, like, get mad and give it back to them. But it, it also just taught us, and me, that there are a variety of different ways you can respond, and um…sometimes the best answer is for me to just click the song in and play the song as the answer. Oftentimes the song that we are about to play just addresses, you know, the sexism in the room just as well.\u003cbr>\nA lot of those experiences were really traumatizing, and there were times when we cried our eyes out afterwards. I’m not going to say that like, those people should have done that so we could toughen up, definitely not. But, it does teach you a lot. It really does.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/strong> Did you ever feel like you were othered within the scene? And what did those moments look like for you?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Michelle Cruz Gonzales:\u003c/strong> I didn’t really expect to be othered in the scene, you know? Um, I remember there’s this kind of scenester guy and he was like talking to me and he said, “Oh, you’re like the whitest Mexican I ever met in my whole life.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>[Music]\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Michelle Cruz Gonzales:\u003c/strong> And I was like, Oh, yikes, I don’t, don’t say that. I mean, I didn’t say that to him. I actually just said nothing and swallowed it and just felt really awful about myself.\u003cbr>\nAnd then I remember just times where I really, you know, you hear people talking shit about people of color, Mexicans, or just making racist jokes. You realize, like, whoa, they don’t, like, do they know I’m in the room? Am I, like, invisible to them?\u003cbr>\nI also just remember a lot of times where I really wanted to, just naturally, wanted to just be all the different selves that I am, and not have to, like, separate them all, all the time and feeling like I couldn’t do that because, um, we had this, this informal system, punk points. And it was a joke. It was supposed to be a joke. Like, we would, people would say, like a lot of the dude scenesters would say like, “Oh, you just lost your punk points because, you know, you grew your hair long,” or so and so “lost their punk points because, um, we found out they’re from Walnut Creek,” or whatever, you know. And punk rock…that was one of the reasons why I broke up with punk rock, like, briefly.\u003cbr>\nI just remember, like, I would always cut my hair really short and then grow it long, cut it short and grow it long. And I remember every time I grew it long, it was because I felt like nobody really saw who I was. No one really…they just saw me as Todd, the drummer of Spitboy, and not like Michelle Gonzales, not like the Xicana who I am.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/strong> You mentioned that punk exists as this like, third space that’s free from capitalism and consumerism. So what happens when materialism and consumerism does seep in?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Michelle Cruz Gonzales:\u003c/strong> Well, I mean, consumerism sneaks in all the time because we’re part of the larger culture. But punk does, can, does, can, and has existed as a third space, um, where people sometimes are trading, um, goods, um, selling their own wares without, you know, a middle person or an agency or a company that they have to pay back or anything like that.\u003cbr>\nI think the result of materialism in a lot of ways has been that a lot of those pop punk bands that are like, are punk…. they call themselves punk, but they’re like, mainstream. And they- a lot of them just sound totally alike. That to me is one of the main like, things that I’ve noticed. That materialism creates kind of like a stereo- a punk stereotype and, and rolls with the punk stereotype, like hard and fast music, and, um, you know, people drinking, and like, you know, maybe being too rough, getting into fights, very kind of like, kind of like, just kind of this toxic male energy thing that, that um, the media likes to latch on to, materialism likes to latch on to.\u003cbr>\nLike, we were a message first band. Spitboy was never going to make it on a major label. We would have never changed who we were. We would have never become this, like, girly, beautiful, you know, gussied up band. That wasn’t our aim, but I don’t fault anyone else for… for having a different strategy.\u003cbr>\nWe need to support artists, just no matter what, I mean, whether it’s punk or whether it’s jazz. My son is a jazz musician. We need to support the arts more, um, across the board. That takes money to a certain extent. That takes materialism and capitalism, right? So it’s a… it is a conundrum.\u003cbr>\nI don’t have the same kind of ideas that a lot of punkers have about, um, quote unquote selling out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>[Music]\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Michelle Cruz Gonzales:\u003c/strong> Like, my favorite band is The Clash. Everything I learned about politics as a teenager was from The Clash.\u003cbr>\nIf they hadn’t quote unquote sold out, I wouldn’t, I grew up in a small town, I wouldn’t know, I wouldn’t have known anything about Nicaragua, El Salvador, I wouldn’t have learned about imperialism in Afghanista., I mean, there are just so many things I learned from The Clash because they sold-they were on a major label and I was able to buy their records from Value Giant, you know, in Tuolumne or whatever.\u003cbr>\nAnd then my grandmother, my sister’s grandmother, like, bought me a couple of Clash records for my, for Christmas because that’s what I wanted. She was able to go to the mall and get them. You know, if they hadn’t sold out, I wouldn’t have had access to them and to their ideals, which um, were instrumental in shaping my politics, my values, and, and all of that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/strong> I also wanted to know how did being an East Bay punk affect your perception of yourself? If you weren’t like, how do you think your perception of yourself would be different?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Michelle Cruz Gonzales:\u003c/strong> I didn’t grow up in a town with a, with a Latinx or Latine community. I grew up in a really small town in California in the Gold Rush country. I mean, there are like 700 people in the town that I grew up in. So moving to the Bay Area changed my sense of identity.\u003cbr>\nI went in and out of trying to figure out how could I really be myself, um, and, and not also not really understanding what that meant because I was born in LA. We’d go visit my family and, you know, everyone speaks Spanish there and I didn’t grow up speaking Spanish. And, um, I really felt such a strong pull to my like Chola cousins and my grandmother, who was bilingual.\u003cbr>\nBut at the same time, I didn’t grow up in that. So like my way of expressing my Mexicanisma was, you know, just largely through food growing up and then I moved to the Bay Area and I just felt like… like I just had to try to fit in as much as I could to punk rock because I was so tired of being bullied and wanted, I wanted a community. I wanted to fit in and I couldn’t move, I wasn’t going to move to L.A., that wasn’t like… I was a band, I was here.\u003cbr>\nPunk rock, I think, made it… put some barriers in, in between me and reclaiming my, my Xicanisma, because I was so kind of concerned with being in the band, fitting into the scene. Not… I didn’t want to be invisible, but also you know, there’s this whole system of things that are put into place, that if you’re a person of color, you could easily not be noticed. Like, a lot of the time you went by your first name, and then your band name. So I was always Todd Bitchfight or I was Todd Spitboy. I would hardly ever use my last name. Finally, at one point, we all decided we wanted to use our last names on our record, and I was so happy and so relieved because I finally got to, like, put it out there that my last name is Gonzalez.\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>[Music]\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cstrong>Michelle Cruz Gonzales:\u003c/strong> I do remember there was this woman, a friend of Karen, our guitar player, and she said the nicest thing that anyone’s ever said to me. She asked me what my last name was, and I told her, and she said, “Oh, are you Mexican?” And I was like, Oh, and I just was like, ‘Yeah, I am actually,’ and she’s like, “Oh gosh, I don’t know why I didn’t realize that until just now until you said that.” I said, ‘What do you mean?’\u003cbr>\nAnd she said, “Well, you know, like in punk, I guess it’s just like we all just like go around being all like punk rock and like, you know, our first names and not really talking about our families or our backgrounds that much.” I mean, she said something along these lines. And, um, she’s just like, “I just want to say, I’m really sorry, I didn’t realize that sooner. I should have, I should have seen that on my own,” and I was just like, oh my gosh, no one had ever said anything to me like that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/strong> How did it feel to like, feel seen like that? And have you had, like, any other moments like that?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Michelle Cruz Gonzales:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>[laughs]\u003c/em> Um, felt really good. I mean, that was the thing about it. It felt really, really good. I was like, wow, like this is a thing. Like I didn’t even know that was the thing that, that another person could really see me and make me feel that good, and also like, apologize for her privilege or take responsibility for her privilege.\u003cbr>\nAnd this was before people were talking about white privilege. This was before people, like, felt like there was any need to, like, you know, accommodate other people other than, you know, the dominant culture. So it really, it really felt, it felt great. And it was a, it was a real kindness.\u003cbr>\n\u003cstrong>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/strong> I love that. I love that so much. It’s like one of those moments where it kind of like, opens up like your world a little bit because you resign yourself. And you’re like, that’s not gonna happen, like I have to keep this separate, like, they’re not gonna care, but it’s like people do care and people might also care if you like are open about the parts of yourself that you can’t change and that people choose not to recognize, so.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Michelle Cruz Gonzales:\u003c/strong> And I think that’s the thing, you’re hitting on something really important, that is, if we’re our authentic selves, people will appreciate that. Um, I mean, of course there’s racism and all that, but like, people in your communities, even if they’re not comfortable completely with different backgrounds that they’re not familiar with, if you are who you are, if you’re authentic, um, that will make you more human, in the very least.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>[Music]\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/strong> I want to give a huge shoutout to Michelle Cruz Gonzales. You’ve accomplished so much just by being who you are, and being an in your face artist, regardless of what other people want to say.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Michelle’s memoir, \u003cem>The Spitboy Rule\u003c/em>, where she talks about performing all over the world, is available on Amazon or directly from the publisher, PM Press. If you’d like to see what she’s writing right now, you can check out her website, https://punk-writer-michelle-cruz-gonzales.com, which is written with a dash between each word. You can hear music by Spitboy, and Kamala and the Karnivores on multiple streaming platforms.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This episode was hosted by me, Sheree Bishop. Chris Hambrick is our editor. Christopher Beale is our engineer. This episode was also made possible by Pendarvis Harshaw and Marisol Medina-Cadena\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The Rightnowish team also includes Cesar Saldaña, Katie Sprenger, Ugur Dursun, Jen Chien, and Holly Kernan.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Take it easy, and don’t forget to support the musicians, writers, zine makers, and other artists in your area. They’re doing all kinds of cool stuff, literally all the time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Rightnowish is a KQED production.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-12127869\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"78\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-400x39.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-768x75.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Rightnowish is an arts and culture podcast produced at KQED. Listen to it wherever you get your podcasts or click the play button at the top of this page and subscribe to the show on \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/721590300/rightnowish\">NPR One\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://open.spotify.com/show/7kEJuafTzTVan7B78ttz1I\">Spotify\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/rightnowish/id1482187648\">Apple Podcasts\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://tunein.com/podcasts/Arts--Culture-Podcasts/Rightnowish-p1258245/\">TuneIn\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kqed/rightnowish\">Stitcher\u003c/a> or wherever you get your podcasts. \u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]=\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n",
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"title": "Michelle Cruz Gonzales of Spitboy is Punk AF and Lived to Teach About It | KQED",
"description": "Michelle Cruz Gonzales spent the late 90s in two iconic all-female punk bands, Spitboy, and Kamala and the Karnivores. In 2016, she released a memoir about her time in Spitboy and being the only woman of color in that band. Now, she teaches English classes with Punk literature at Las Positas College. Michelle talks about feeling seen as a person of color, the importance of supporting artists and musicians, dealing with toxic masculinity, and how east bay punk shaped her personality.",
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"socialDescription": "Michelle Cruz Gonzales spent the late 90s in two iconic all-female punk bands, Spitboy, and Kamala and the Karnivores. In 2016, she released a memoir about her time in Spitboy and being the only woman of color in that band. Now, she teaches English classes with Punk literature at Las Positas College. Michelle talks about feeling seen as a person of color, the importance of supporting artists and musicians, dealing with toxic masculinity, and how east bay punk shaped her personality.",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Warning: This episode contains explicit language.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"#episode-transcript\">\u003cem>View the full episode transcript.\u003c/em>\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Michelle Cruz Gonzales spent her teenage years and the beginning of her adulthood immersed in the Punk scene in the East Bay. She performed under a stage name, “Todd,” in two iconic, all-female groups: Kamala and the Karnivores, and then Spitboy. While Spitboy was active, they toured multiple countries including Canada, Italy, England, and Japan. After Spitboy split in 1995, Gonzales and two other members of the band continued to perform for a few years, under the name Instant Girl.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While Gonzales enjoyed performing, she often had to deal with an indifferent, colorblind attitude from others who didn’t seem to acknowledge racial and ethnic differences: She says, “Punk rock, I think, put some barriers in between me and reclaiming my chicanisma, because I was so kind of, concerned with being in the band, fitting into the scene. I didn’t want to be invisible, but also, you know, there’s this whole system of things that are put into place, that if you’re a person of color, you could easily not be noticed.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Gonzales went on to write about her experiences in her memoir, \u003cem>The Spitboy Rule: Tales of a Xicana in a Female Punk Band\u003c/em>. The book features a series of vignettes, pulled from moments in her life, detailing performances and dealing with sexism from concert goers, how the band formed, how she started performing, and more. Now, Gonzales is an English professor at Las Positas College, and teaches courses with other books that were written by punk musicians and artists.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When asked how it feels to see a new generation of people keeping the punk scene alive, Gonzales responded, “It just makes me happy that the scene is like, thriving, and that kind of art is still important. It’s not about it being a zine. It’s not about it being a band. It’s about it being independent. It’s about that there’s this third space for young people that supports these ideas for young people, and encourages young people to not wait for some Columbus to come and discover them.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>The Spitboy Rule: Tales of a Xicana in a Female Punk Band\u003c/em> is currently available through both Amazon and \u003ca href=\"https://www.pmpress.org/index.php?l=product_detail&p=777\">PM Press\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe loading=\"lazy\" frameborder=\"0\" height=\"200\" scrolling=\"no\" src=\"https://playlist.megaphone.fm/?e=KQINC8491706882\" width=\"100%\" class=\"iframe-class\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-content post-body\">\u003ch2 id=\"episode-transcript\">Episode Transcript\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sheree Bishop, host:\u003c/strong> Hey y’all, it’s me, Sheree, the production intern on Rightnowish. I’m back with another episode. This time, I got to speak to punk writer, Michelle Cruz Gonzales.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Michelle Cruz Gonzales, guest:\u003c/strong> I was already viewed as a freak as a person of color in the small town I grew up in. And I was just like, fuck it,y ou know. If you think I’m a freak, I’ll show you a freak. I’mma be a fucking freak. I’ll be in a band of women that just yells and screams in your face. I’ll be a girl who plays the drums. [gasps] Oh,God forbid, oh so scary!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/strong> As a teenager, Michelle started performing in a band called Bitch Fight. Then as an adult in San Francisco, she performed under her stage name “Todd” first as a guitarist in Kamala and the Karnivores, and then as a drummer for Spitboy. Both of these were iconic, all-female bands. Spitboy was unlike a lot of bands at the time, because their lyrics were a blunt response to unchecked sexism.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For those of you who don’t know, San Francisco’s East Bay is widely considered one of the epicenters of punk music. It’s home to venues like 924 Gilman and the nationwide zine Maximum RocknRoll. Many now-famous bands got their start right here in the Bay, and then went on to gain fame and notoriety across the country, and in many cases, internationally.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Michelle’s memoir, The Spitboy Rule, talks about being a Xicana woman in this same East Bay scene that, at the time, didn’t seem to recognize her for who she really was.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In 2016, her book joined a roster of several ones written by punk musicians from the Bay. Books like these document the history of a culture that has deep roots here, from a perspective that often gets erased.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We’ll talk about how Michelle found herself through performing, feeling seen as a person of color, and more, right after this.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/strong> For people who don’t know, never been, paint the picture of like a typical show. What are like some details? What does it look like? We all know what it sounds like. Where do you fit into this picture?\u003cbr>\n\u003cstrong>Michelle Cruz Gonzales:\u003c/strong> A lot of the shows I went to were at Gilman and, um, the stage is a funny shape and there’s this one side on the right that’s kind of, um, off to the side because the shape is, the shape of the stage, they’ve changed it recently, had like a narrower end on the right side when you’re standing looking at the stage\u003cbr>\nI would often be on that side, away from the mosh pit, because, you know, even though, you know, they had rules at Gilman, they still do, about, you know, no sexism, no racism, no homophobia, et cetera, no alcohol and all that, um, there were a lot of guys who would try to grab your boob or like touch you, you know, when they were going around in the pit and just be disgusting. And I would like, I would wind up getting in fights or almost fights with those guys and so rather than escalating the situation, I would just try to stand on the side.\u003cbr>\nI also didn’t really care that much for moshing. I’m five feet tall. I don’t, I don’t really want to like, be smashed around.\u003cbr>\nRight after Bitch Fight and before Spitboy, I hung out with this group of girls, super multicultural group of girls, who all love to dance. And we would go to every single Operation Ivy show. We’d go to every Crimpshrine show. We’d go to every Green Day show, and we would be in that little corner where we wouldn’t get moshed into, or no one would grab us, and we would just dance.\u003cbr>\nAnd that was, I think, those are some of my funnest times at Gilman. You know, I wasn’t having to worry about playing, or being on stage, or setting up my drums, or guys, you know, saying dumb stuff to me like, “Oh, you hit really hard for a girl,” um, stuff that people would say to me after shows. Um, that was a more carefree time before I was in a band, after Bitch Fight, before Spit Boy. We were just there to support the bands and support the music.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/strong> You’ve performed in a lot of places, literally all over the world.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Michelle Cruz Gonzales:\u003c/strong> Yep.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/strong> What sets East Bay punk apart?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Michelle Cruz Gonzales:\u003c/strong> I think what sets it apart is it, it was born out of, among other things, like Maximum RocknRoll, Gilman Street was born out of a desire to create a safe punk zone for young kids who were into punk.\u003cbr>\nAnd 21 and over clubs weren’t safe, well you couldn’t get into them. And then you had these other smaller shows where there were a lot of fights and a lot of violence. And, you know, just like a lot of, like, toxic male energy that was tolerated. And, um, Gilman Street wanted to create a place where that wouldn’t be tolerated so people could like go to shows and have fun and not feel unsafe. Even though we didn’t talk about gender issues enough and even though we didn’t talk about people of color issues enough and everyone was all like, “Oh, I don’t see race.I’m colorblind.” I’m like, ‘oh, that’s weird.’ Even though that was happening, people also didn’t shun you and didn’t exclude you.\u003cbr>\nWe had people of color from all different backgrounds. We had older people like Murray, you know, rest in peace, Murray, who, you know, who guided us and made us feel safe, but also were like artists and like, had jobs and he like, took all the photographs and documented everything.\u003cbr>\nAnd there were other people at Gilman, like Pat, who also passed away recently, who looked out for the young people and no matter who you were or what your background was. I think that really made it different. It wasn’t just a club where where they were trying to make money. Gilman was always way more than that so I think that’s totally what distinguishes it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>[Music]\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/strong> Gilman is still active today and like you said, a little different and stuff like that. And so I’m wondering, like when you see folks in the East Bay today and they’re doing shows, they’re making zines, they’re doing the same things that you and your friends and your peers did, what, like, feelings does this bring up for you to see people doing the same thing today, especially women of color?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Michelle Cruz Gonzales:\u003c/strong> Um, I mean it makes me so happy that punk is so black and brown now. And the fact that we have bands like Deseos Primitivos in Oakland, who sing in Spanish, You know, there’s so many bands with women in them now, um, queer folks in bands, you know, who are, who are out, um, trans folks in bands.\u003cbr>\nKeep making zines, please, because some of the best new ideas and art, you know, is in zines.\u003cbr>\nUm, so it just makes me happy that the scene is like thriving and that kind of art is still important. Um, and it’s not about it being a zine. It’s not about it being a band. It’s about it being independent. It’s about that, that there’s this third space for young people that supports this ideas for young people and encourages young people to not wait for some Columbus to come and discover them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/strong> This seems to have like taken up and defined like a huge chunk of your life. And so to see people like, having obviously not the same, but experiences with similar music in the same places, um, that’s, that’s really cool, that it’s like, still bringing you joy, even when you’re not actively doing it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Michelle Cruz Gonzales:\u003c/strong> Totally, and now, as a community college, you know, writing and English professor, I’m teaching like, punk memoirs. I’m teaching James Spooner’s book in two of my classes, and you know, introducing these ideas, um, to young people at the community college level. I don’t know why. Like, after my sabbatical recently, I was like, why am I not teaching any punk books? I mean, there haven’t been that many for, you know, for a long time there weren’t that many.\u003cbr>\nNow there are so many more punk memoirs and literature and, um, punk is, is a more mainstream idea or concept now. It’s more socially acceptable and that’s not why I’m teaching it, but I, for some reason before I didn’t even think to do it. And now I’m like, young people, of course, like young people are trying to figure out who they are and they’re feeling rebellious and punk rock is doing all those same things. Like why not teach about punk in my, in my literature classes, in my English classes?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/strong> In your memoir, you mention a lot of these instances of just hecklers. Like you would be in the middle of introducing a song in the middle of playing, and people would start to say stuff that just didn’t make any sense and just was like very derogatory and like rude. And so I’m wondering, like, what did your experiences in Spit Boy teach you about like, dealing with people, especially people who feel the need to insert themselves like that?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Michelle Cruz Gonzales:\u003c/strong> A lot of those comments were really sexist because it was just so threatening for, you know, punk rock, hardcore punk rock dudes at the time to see women on stage. And again, we were, you know, giving our gender studies lesson at the same time, which was not appreciated. Apparently they just wanted to mosh. I just feel like the things that it taught me were….\u003cbr>\nSometimes you just have to, like, get mad and give it back to them. But it, it also just taught us, and me, that there are a variety of different ways you can respond, and um…sometimes the best answer is for me to just click the song in and play the song as the answer. Oftentimes the song that we are about to play just addresses, you know, the sexism in the room just as well.\u003cbr>\nA lot of those experiences were really traumatizing, and there were times when we cried our eyes out afterwards. I’m not going to say that like, those people should have done that so we could toughen up, definitely not. But, it does teach you a lot. It really does.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/strong> Did you ever feel like you were othered within the scene? And what did those moments look like for you?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Michelle Cruz Gonzales:\u003c/strong> I didn’t really expect to be othered in the scene, you know? Um, I remember there’s this kind of scenester guy and he was like talking to me and he said, “Oh, you’re like the whitest Mexican I ever met in my whole life.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>[Music]\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Michelle Cruz Gonzales:\u003c/strong> And I was like, Oh, yikes, I don’t, don’t say that. I mean, I didn’t say that to him. I actually just said nothing and swallowed it and just felt really awful about myself.\u003cbr>\nAnd then I remember just times where I really, you know, you hear people talking shit about people of color, Mexicans, or just making racist jokes. You realize, like, whoa, they don’t, like, do they know I’m in the room? Am I, like, invisible to them?\u003cbr>\nI also just remember a lot of times where I really wanted to, just naturally, wanted to just be all the different selves that I am, and not have to, like, separate them all, all the time and feeling like I couldn’t do that because, um, we had this, this informal system, punk points. And it was a joke. It was supposed to be a joke. Like, we would, people would say, like a lot of the dude scenesters would say like, “Oh, you just lost your punk points because, you know, you grew your hair long,” or so and so “lost their punk points because, um, we found out they’re from Walnut Creek,” or whatever, you know. And punk rock…that was one of the reasons why I broke up with punk rock, like, briefly.\u003cbr>\nI just remember, like, I would always cut my hair really short and then grow it long, cut it short and grow it long. And I remember every time I grew it long, it was because I felt like nobody really saw who I was. No one really…they just saw me as Todd, the drummer of Spitboy, and not like Michelle Gonzales, not like the Xicana who I am.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/strong> You mentioned that punk exists as this like, third space that’s free from capitalism and consumerism. So what happens when materialism and consumerism does seep in?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Michelle Cruz Gonzales:\u003c/strong> Well, I mean, consumerism sneaks in all the time because we’re part of the larger culture. But punk does, can, does, can, and has existed as a third space, um, where people sometimes are trading, um, goods, um, selling their own wares without, you know, a middle person or an agency or a company that they have to pay back or anything like that.\u003cbr>\nI think the result of materialism in a lot of ways has been that a lot of those pop punk bands that are like, are punk…. they call themselves punk, but they’re like, mainstream. And they- a lot of them just sound totally alike. That to me is one of the main like, things that I’ve noticed. That materialism creates kind of like a stereo- a punk stereotype and, and rolls with the punk stereotype, like hard and fast music, and, um, you know, people drinking, and like, you know, maybe being too rough, getting into fights, very kind of like, kind of like, just kind of this toxic male energy thing that, that um, the media likes to latch on to, materialism likes to latch on to.\u003cbr>\nLike, we were a message first band. Spitboy was never going to make it on a major label. We would have never changed who we were. We would have never become this, like, girly, beautiful, you know, gussied up band. That wasn’t our aim, but I don’t fault anyone else for… for having a different strategy.\u003cbr>\nWe need to support artists, just no matter what, I mean, whether it’s punk or whether it’s jazz. My son is a jazz musician. We need to support the arts more, um, across the board. That takes money to a certain extent. That takes materialism and capitalism, right? So it’s a… it is a conundrum.\u003cbr>\nI don’t have the same kind of ideas that a lot of punkers have about, um, quote unquote selling out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>[Music]\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Michelle Cruz Gonzales:\u003c/strong> Like, my favorite band is The Clash. Everything I learned about politics as a teenager was from The Clash.\u003cbr>\nIf they hadn’t quote unquote sold out, I wouldn’t, I grew up in a small town, I wouldn’t know, I wouldn’t have known anything about Nicaragua, El Salvador, I wouldn’t have learned about imperialism in Afghanista., I mean, there are just so many things I learned from The Clash because they sold-they were on a major label and I was able to buy their records from Value Giant, you know, in Tuolumne or whatever.\u003cbr>\nAnd then my grandmother, my sister’s grandmother, like, bought me a couple of Clash records for my, for Christmas because that’s what I wanted. She was able to go to the mall and get them. You know, if they hadn’t sold out, I wouldn’t have had access to them and to their ideals, which um, were instrumental in shaping my politics, my values, and, and all of that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/strong> I also wanted to know how did being an East Bay punk affect your perception of yourself? If you weren’t like, how do you think your perception of yourself would be different?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Michelle Cruz Gonzales:\u003c/strong> I didn’t grow up in a town with a, with a Latinx or Latine community. I grew up in a really small town in California in the Gold Rush country. I mean, there are like 700 people in the town that I grew up in. So moving to the Bay Area changed my sense of identity.\u003cbr>\nI went in and out of trying to figure out how could I really be myself, um, and, and not also not really understanding what that meant because I was born in LA. We’d go visit my family and, you know, everyone speaks Spanish there and I didn’t grow up speaking Spanish. And, um, I really felt such a strong pull to my like Chola cousins and my grandmother, who was bilingual.\u003cbr>\nBut at the same time, I didn’t grow up in that. So like my way of expressing my Mexicanisma was, you know, just largely through food growing up and then I moved to the Bay Area and I just felt like… like I just had to try to fit in as much as I could to punk rock because I was so tired of being bullied and wanted, I wanted a community. I wanted to fit in and I couldn’t move, I wasn’t going to move to L.A., that wasn’t like… I was a band, I was here.\u003cbr>\nPunk rock, I think, made it… put some barriers in, in between me and reclaiming my, my Xicanisma, because I was so kind of concerned with being in the band, fitting into the scene. Not… I didn’t want to be invisible, but also you know, there’s this whole system of things that are put into place, that if you’re a person of color, you could easily not be noticed. Like, a lot of the time you went by your first name, and then your band name. So I was always Todd Bitchfight or I was Todd Spitboy. I would hardly ever use my last name. Finally, at one point, we all decided we wanted to use our last names on our record, and I was so happy and so relieved because I finally got to, like, put it out there that my last name is Gonzalez.\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>[Music]\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cstrong>Michelle Cruz Gonzales:\u003c/strong> I do remember there was this woman, a friend of Karen, our guitar player, and she said the nicest thing that anyone’s ever said to me. She asked me what my last name was, and I told her, and she said, “Oh, are you Mexican?” And I was like, Oh, and I just was like, ‘Yeah, I am actually,’ and she’s like, “Oh gosh, I don’t know why I didn’t realize that until just now until you said that.” I said, ‘What do you mean?’\u003cbr>\nAnd she said, “Well, you know, like in punk, I guess it’s just like we all just like go around being all like punk rock and like, you know, our first names and not really talking about our families or our backgrounds that much.” I mean, she said something along these lines. And, um, she’s just like, “I just want to say, I’m really sorry, I didn’t realize that sooner. I should have, I should have seen that on my own,” and I was just like, oh my gosh, no one had ever said anything to me like that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/strong> How did it feel to like, feel seen like that? And have you had, like, any other moments like that?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Michelle Cruz Gonzales:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>[laughs]\u003c/em> Um, felt really good. I mean, that was the thing about it. It felt really, really good. I was like, wow, like this is a thing. Like I didn’t even know that was the thing that, that another person could really see me and make me feel that good, and also like, apologize for her privilege or take responsibility for her privilege.\u003cbr>\nAnd this was before people were talking about white privilege. This was before people, like, felt like there was any need to, like, you know, accommodate other people other than, you know, the dominant culture. So it really, it really felt, it felt great. And it was a, it was a real kindness.\u003cbr>\n\u003cstrong>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/strong> I love that. I love that so much. It’s like one of those moments where it kind of like, opens up like your world a little bit because you resign yourself. And you’re like, that’s not gonna happen, like I have to keep this separate, like, they’re not gonna care, but it’s like people do care and people might also care if you like are open about the parts of yourself that you can’t change and that people choose not to recognize, so.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Michelle Cruz Gonzales:\u003c/strong> And I think that’s the thing, you’re hitting on something really important, that is, if we’re our authentic selves, people will appreciate that. Um, I mean, of course there’s racism and all that, but like, people in your communities, even if they’re not comfortable completely with different backgrounds that they’re not familiar with, if you are who you are, if you’re authentic, um, that will make you more human, in the very least.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>[Music]\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/strong> I want to give a huge shoutout to Michelle Cruz Gonzales. You’ve accomplished so much just by being who you are, and being an in your face artist, regardless of what other people want to say.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Michelle’s memoir, \u003cem>The Spitboy Rule\u003c/em>, where she talks about performing all over the world, is available on Amazon or directly from the publisher, PM Press. If you’d like to see what she’s writing right now, you can check out her website, https://punk-writer-michelle-cruz-gonzales.com, which is written with a dash between each word. You can hear music by Spitboy, and Kamala and the Karnivores on multiple streaming platforms.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This episode was hosted by me, Sheree Bishop. Chris Hambrick is our editor. Christopher Beale is our engineer. This episode was also made possible by Pendarvis Harshaw and Marisol Medina-Cadena\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The Rightnowish team also includes Cesar Saldaña, Katie Sprenger, Ugur Dursun, Jen Chien, and Holly Kernan.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Take it easy, and don’t forget to support the musicians, writers, zine makers, and other artists in your area. They’re doing all kinds of cool stuff, literally all the time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Rightnowish is a KQED production.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-12127869\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"78\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-400x39.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-768x75.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Rightnowish is an arts and culture podcast produced at KQED. Listen to it wherever you get your podcasts or click the play button at the top of this page and subscribe to the show on \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/721590300/rightnowish\">NPR One\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://open.spotify.com/show/7kEJuafTzTVan7B78ttz1I\">Spotify\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/rightnowish/id1482187648\">Apple Podcasts\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://tunein.com/podcasts/Arts--Culture-Podcasts/Rightnowish-p1258245/\">TuneIn\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kqed/rightnowish\">Stitcher\u003c/a> or wherever you get your podcasts. \u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>=\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003c/div>"
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"slug": "wives-angelica-medina-and-jahaira-fajardo-share-culture-through-dance",
"title": "Wives Angelica Medina and Jahaira Fajardo Share Culture Through Dance",
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"content": "\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13937418\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1365px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2023/11/Angelica-and-Jahaira-4.jpg\" alt=\"A woman in multi-colored leggings faces away from the camera, while dancing and holding the hand of a woman facing the camera in a black top and black jeans.\" width=\"1365\" height=\"1213\" class=\"size-full wp-image-13937418\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2023/11/Angelica-and-Jahaira-4.jpg 1365w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2023/11/Angelica-and-Jahaira-4-800x711.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2023/11/Angelica-and-Jahaira-4-1020x906.jpg 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2023/11/Angelica-and-Jahaira-4-160x142.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2023/11/Angelica-and-Jahaira-4-768x682.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1365px) 100vw, 1365px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Angelica Medina (L) dances with Jahaira Fajardo (R) \u003ccite>(Courtesy of In Lak'ech)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"#episode-transcript\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">View the full episode transcript.\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Angelica Medina’s first memories of dance are from when she was five years old doing steps to a Selena performance on TV. Her wife, Jahaira Fajardo, remembers being a New York club kid in her late teens, when she thinks of her earliest dance experiences. That’s because dancing felt very heteronormative and exclusionary, and as a lesbian growing up in a Dominican household, dancing seemed just not okay for her. Now as adults, Angelica and Jahaira are co-founders of \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://inlakechdance.com/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In Lak’ech\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">the first queer salsa and bachata dance academy in the U.S. and they are \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">out to create dance spaces that build inclusivity. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The two met while dancing in 2014, and noticed that something was missing from their experience in Latin dance. “I always felt like I could only bring a certain percentage of myself into those communities and a part of me had to be left at the door,” Jahaira says. She wanted to lead during partner dancing but found that people weren’t very open to female leads. She found acceptance for leading in the Queer community, but it felt worlds away from the Afro-Latin dance community. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">During a break while training for a competition, Angelica and Jahaira went for a walk. Angelica asked, “Why don’t we start our own community? Why don’t we start our own dance company?” and the idea for In Lak’ech was born with the goal of bringing both communities together to provide a space where everyone is welcome. “Leading and following have nothing to do with gender, you know, and so essentially we normalize a space where you can show up as your authentic self,” Angelica says. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Encouraged by their students at the academy, the duo went on to create the \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://queerafrolatindancefestival.com/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Queer Afro-Latin Dance Festival\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. It’s now in its 6th year and is a space where queer and trans dancers can just exist and be themselves. The festival’s offerings have now expanded to include panel discussions on issues like anti-blackness and body positivity and how that affects dancers. Musing about dancing in the community they’ve created, Jahaira says, “Just being up there on stage is a powerful statement in itself, right? – of like taking up space, like a tribe kind of feeling, of like we’re showing up or we’re here to stay. It’s a really empowering and powerful experience. “\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next Queer Afro-Latin Dance Festival takes place in San Jose, June 14-17, 2024. Visit \u003ca href=\"https://queerafrolatindancefestival.com/\">queerafrolatindancefestival.com\u003c/a> for more information.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe loading=\"lazy\" frameborder=\"0\" height=\"200\" scrolling=\"no\" src=\"https://playlist.megaphone.fm/?e=KQINC6804506669&light=true\" width=\"100%\" class=\"iframe-class\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2 id=\"episode-transcript\">Episode Transcript\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo, guest:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Did you want to tell folks what In lak’ech means? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina, guest:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> In Lak’ech is a Mayan phrase and it means you are my other me, ‘Tu eres mi otro yo. We are a reflection of each other.’ And so it’s a beautiful message we love to share with the community and that message is very much embodied in our dance classes and all of our events. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[Music]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop, host: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Hey listeners, my name’s Sheree, and I’m a production intern on Rightnowish. I’ll be your host for this episode! Today, I spoke to Jahaira Fajardo and Angelica Medina. They’re the co-directors and founders of In Lak’ech Dance, the first queer\u003c/span> \u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Salsa and Bachata academy.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Nothing brings people together like some food, some music, and some good dancing. When I’m in a place where I feel like I belong, I know I can count on a friendly smile and an introduction to help me feel included. \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When I went to a class at In Lak’ech Dance, that’s exactly what it felt like, warm, inviting, and filled with kind people.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Yes, it’s nice to dance alone at home and, you know, be in your element but I think there is power. There’s like another element of like community collective healing that happens when you are surrounded with people who can share that same feeling of joy.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">It’s hard to find community when your options are limited, and even harder to build it yourself. That’s the thing, you might know what you’re looking for, but you don’t have a community unless other people are looking for it too. Jahaira told me that when In Lak’ech started, both of them underestimated how many people would be interested. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Oh my God. That was so incredible, because we had our first audition August 2nd, 2017, and we thought, oh, you know, maybe we’ll have like 4 couples (8 to 10 people). 58 people showed up to our auditions! And we were blown away by the reception. We were like, ‘Okay, our people want this, you know, queer and trans people want to dance.’\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> In Lak’ech has only grown since then, thanks to the dedication of the couple at its center. Angelica, who keeps her hair dyed a deep, vibrant purple and her wife, Jahaira, who wears gauges and often sports large cornrows. \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Like any passion, turned hobby, turned profession, Angelica and Jahaira started as dancers, and as a couple, \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">before\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> In Lak’ech Dance was established. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Sheree Bishop: \u003c/b>How did you both meet?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Yeah…\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Bailando… dancing, of course.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">We met dancing. Yes. Um, yeah, we, we met in San Francisco at a bar called The Neck of the Woods. It was like a dancing… \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> …social night. And, yeah, I had seen Jahaira dancing, and I went up to her towards the last kind of part of the night, and I was like, “Do you want to dance?” And she almost said no. \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[laughs] \u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> It was late and I was tired. And it’s interesting because in these spaces, the last thing I ever think is that anyone’s going to see me or these are very heteronormative spaces that we’re in. So I never go with the mindset of that. I’m going to meet someone or that I’m going to, you know, anything like that. So I was very surprised when she approached me. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Yes. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">And so we had a nice dance.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Yes! It was very lovely. And then at the end of the night, she asked me not for my number but for my name. [la\u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">ughs]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> And I’m glad she got my name and she remembered.\u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> [laughs]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">She said Angelica. So the next day I went searching on Facebook. I had a nice dance, so why not connect? And she was very surprised that I found her and… \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> I mean, I was trying to make it clear that I was into her \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[laughs]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. So I hope I made that clear. But yeah, she did message me the next day and it was. Yeah, beautiful connection. From there we started dating and the rest is history. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Yeah. That was nine- nine years ago, my goodness. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Sometimes couples can’t work together. So, how did you two discover that you could?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Um, I guess. Competing together, performing together, learning the choreography together, to then choreograph together. I think that process made it so, for me, so that I know that we could… Okay, we can hear each other’s perspectives and thoughts and ideas, and it’s definitely not easy. I mean, I don’t think any coupleship or marriage or any type of partnership is easy. And I still feel like we do really well together. I think one thing that helps is like, enjoying each other’s presence. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Yeah, it’s nice that we like each other. \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[laughs]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">We were just saying that, walking here.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I know, we were just saying that. We do spend a lot of time together and we work out together, we eat together, you know, we run a business together and, I was just telling her I’m so happy that we like each other because, you know, it could just be the work thing. But yeah, we and like she said, it’s definitely not easy. And sometimes we have to, you know, have support in order to keep the balance between our… our marriage and our partnership.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I wanted to switch it up a little bit. What is your earliest memory of dancing?\u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> \u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Yeah, I would say me being five years old and dancing to Selena in front of the TV. Yeah, it’s pretty simple. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">You know, for me it wasn’t until I can say that I was about 18 that I, that I became kind of like a “club kid” in New York City where I grew up. And so I used to listen to, like, and dance to a lot of house music, techno music. And I sort of, you know, I was 18, 19, so I was going to all the clubs. I never really thought about it, but that 18 is probably… 19 is probably my earliest memory of \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">me\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> dancing so. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">What about your videos from home being 15, 16? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">That too, that’s true. We always had, you know, growing up in a Dominican household, we always had parties. I think I always kind of like attributed dance to my sister because she was such a dancer and I was, “oh, that’s not from me.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">And I also felt because I think because I was a lesbian \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[laughs]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, that it is just not okay for me, you know? And I just was like, yes, we had parties, but, you know, I didn’t identify as like, oh, this is my chance to dance. I was always very shy and didn’t want to dance and wanted to hide my body. Um, but yeah, it wasn’t until I got a little older.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">What did you notice was missing from the Latin dance community that led you to founding In Lak’ech?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Oh my gosh. I was very blessed because when I asked… when I met my dance directors, they didn’t even blink an eye when I told them that I wanted to lead. And in 2013, ten years ago when that happened, um, there were, I want to say, maybe including myself, 3 female leaders in the whole latin dance scene that we knew of, at least in the United States. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The heteronormativity of.. of the Latin dance world did feel very limiting to me. Um, uh, and I always felt like I could only bring a certain percentage of myself into those communities and a part of me had to be left at the door. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">It’s not very open also for female leads, right? Doesn’t give like that opportunity or even a choice. I feel like a lot of classes are so rigid and they assume gender and then they place the dance role up on that. There’s a lot of assumptions made. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[Music]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I remember one day we were walking the lake and we were in the middle of training for a competition. Our very first one. And Angelica was like, “Why don’t we start our own community? You know, why don’t we start our own dance company?” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Yeah, we wanted to start In Lak’ech so that there could be that integration of the Afro-Latin dance community with the queer community because it was very separate, you know. And so we wanted to, yeah, really bring both communities together and really provide a space where we can lead by example, where we can, you know, be inclusive and everyone is welcome. Um, and it was something that was so special and hadn’t been done before, you know. And to create that in Oakland was also really special. And so… and we’re still doing it. Yeah. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">It really grew also out of the desire that we just… we knew the joy, the benefits that we get from Afro-Latin dance. It’s our culture, it’s who we are. We love it. And I also understood why there weren’t very many, you know, queer and trans people going. The water was cold, it was frigid. And so In Lak’ech was born to kind of make the- the water a little bit warmer and say, let’s try it, you know, invite the queer and trans community to… to partake in this… in this art and this activity. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[Music]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[Chatter and conversation]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In Lak’ech hosts their classes at The Orange Room in West Oakland. When I went there, it felt like being invited into someone’s home. String lights lined the ceiling, long maroon curtains were draped over comfy, velvet couches. Everything about it was warm! Yellow lighting, cozy heat, and the sound of old and new friends greeting each other.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Once everyone arrived, class got started. The dancers sat on the floor and, when it was their turn to show everyone what they’d learned, everyone paired up based on how they preferred to dance: either by leading or by following. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[Clip of Jahaira giving advice in a dance class]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo (in clip):\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Also, sabor ya la música un poquito it just.. Sometimes it just feels like the next thing, the next thing, the poor follow is like, you know ‘what’s next? What’s next?’ So there’s just times that… am I wrong, follows? Don’t you like just a moment to just like, breathe a little bit, and you know what I mean? Like it’s nice, you know?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Even though I’d just met everyone, people introduced themselves to me, we danced together, and we ate together. I knew that I’d found a pocket of community that wouldn’t pass judgment about how I carry myself, how I dress, or in this case, how I like to dance. We’ll talk about inclusivity, how the Queer Afro Latin Dance Festival was founded, and more, right after this.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[Bachata music plays in the background while Jahaira shouts ‘Ah! Ah!’ in time with the beat]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Okay, let me be honest, when I got to the studio, the first thing I noticed was the food. A white folding table was set up in the back, stuffed with cookies, crackers, cheese, soda, you know, party snacks. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">During the class, everyone took turns dancing in pairs. They moved their hips to music, pulled off tight footwork and even tighter turns, and then Angelica and Jahaira gave them advice and tips. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb> \u003c/b>\u003cem>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[Clip of Angelica giving corrections]\u003c/span>\u003cb> \u003c/b>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina (in clip): \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">…Y’all understand the timing, understand the body movement, the isolation. And then y’all can also, like, let go and have fun! Like, yes! All those elements so, beautiful job. \u003cem>[students applaud]\u003c/em>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> At the end of the class, the room broke up into social dancing. The playlist was ready, the snacks were laid out, and everyone had the opportunity to mingle, chill, and dance as they pleased. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">As it turns out, I’d showed up on a day when they were culminating an 8 week beginner series.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">We always like to end the series with a celebration, let’s all eat together. Let’s all dance. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">We do however have like, a social dance component at the end of each class where we do rotate in social dance with each other. It’s a social dancing series. So we want to practice that feeling of improvising with another human being, right, and connecting with them.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I mean, it feels so good. You were there, you felt it. It’s like, oh, now we get to, like, intermingle and get to know each other and and we don’t know what’s going on in people’s lives. You don’t… we don’t know if people are alone, if they don’t have a community or what kind of situation they’re in. So this really is an opportunity for people to tap in, and connect, and be seen, and appreciated. We always like to end our class reminding people that they are loved, you know.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Beyond measure.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo:\u003c/b>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> [laughs]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Yes, You’re loved beyond measure. \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[laughs]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Like a little prayer. \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[laughs]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> You know, everyone’s used to Latin dance, having this very strict boy-girl type of model. And so I was wondering what steps do you take to make Latin dance an inclusive experience? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">We have community agreements that we kind of go over at the beginning of each series, um, with our students. Um, and that really, like, helps us ground in there. Like we talk about consent, we talk about sexual harassment, we talk about not making assumptions. Leading and following have nothing to do with gender, you know. And so essentially we normalize a space where you can show up as your authentic self. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> We never want to say that it’s like this difficult thing. We actually would love it if other dance companies kind of followed suit in that even if there are not, a queer and trans dance company but to just, like, allow people to show up however they want, they can lead or follow. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Being who we are as human beings, Angelica and I, we could never reject someone based on something that they can’t control. We would never be able to do that. So we made it open. We are an inclusive space um, and yes, we are queer and trans, but we are inclusive. Yeah. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Yeah. We center queer and trans folks, you know, and we welcome allies and we always let them know, you know, ally is a verb. It’s an action, right? You- we call you our allies. You don’t identify as an ally. Right? And so just making that clear because it can- it can the dynamics do shift, right, where when it’s exclusive versus inclusive.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> How does it feel to separate the leader-follower aspect from masculine and feminine? ‘Cause even outside of dancing, I feel like especially leaders, people are like, ‘Oh yeah, it’s a masculine thing.’ And so like, yeah, I was wondering how it feels to have an environment where that doesn’t necessarily… those things don’t have to be linked. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Hmm. Yeah, it. feels liberating to me. It feels like as human beings, like we are so… there’s such a spectrum that we encompass. And so I feel that to allow folks to show up. However, if you want to come on Wen- the first Wednesday of the month and you want to lead, that’s great. You want to try to follow the next week. That’s also amazing. You know, we are there to support that. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">We love folks who switch. We encourage switching in our classes. We do teach one role at a time because it is more beginner level. But yeah, we… we do want to create that.. that culture because it can be… because it is binary, right? There’s the lead and follow. It’s easy to still get caught up in those dynamics and those roles. Right? Of the leader is more masculine presenting and the follower is more of a femme presenting…\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Which we kind of fall into right with me presenting more masculine. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Exactly. Are you someone who tends to take on leadership roles and you’re always like, you know, leading a team or leading that. So maybe in dance you want to kind of step back and you want to just allow yourself to follow and relax and see what the benefits are for that and then vice versa, right? If you feel like you don’t, you know, take up as much space, then you can do that here and try taking that leadership role and try being a leader regardless of your, you know, gender expression. So we do… we do kind of frame it in that way. And I think I always say dance is life. Life is dance, right? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[Music]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> …They’re not separate. They’re together. Like how we show up in dance is, how we show up in life. And so I try to make those connections for our students.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">You know the saying, art imitates life? Well, not everyone gets to have that representation, or to see themselves in the art they love the most. It’s one thing to make art, to sing, or to dance. After that, though, we need spaces to share art with each other. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In Lak’ech brings a queer-inclusive space to learn Salsa and Bachata with the community, but the \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://queerafrolatindancefestival.com/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Queer Afro Latin Dance Festival\u003c/span> \u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">offers its participants a chance to perform for a \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">much\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> larger audience. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Speaking of the Queer Afro-Latin Dance Festival, tell me about that. Your students helped create it, right? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> It gets very tricky for our community, you know, um, because we’ve experienced… \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">And it has happened several times. Sorry to interrupt but it happened several times where our students were harmed and harm was caused at these festivals.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">It really came from them to want to create a space where they didn’t have to experience the transphobia and homophobia in these festivals. And so they were like, Let’s create a festival, let’s do it. And it was so incredibly… I’m like, I don’t even know how we did that because we started In Lak’ech in 2017 and then we had a festival in June.So less than a year we had created a festival, you know.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">And it was so special, like even it was started really small, started at\u003c/span> \u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Trilliant Dance Studios\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. And then we went to the \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Asian Cultural Center in Oakland\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and it was just, like, so intimate and so wonderful. And then from there it just started growing, um, we had a lot of energy from our students and our community to support us. And so now we’re going to do our 6th annual! \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[laughs]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Yeah, in 2022, we, we moved into a hotel, so we definitely grew in size and… Wow, what an opportunity for us to create an event where queer Black and brown people can come and participate in something that comes from \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">them\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, and heal from it and get all the great stuff from it that we didn’t feel like we could before. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Um, and so that is in a nutshell what the Queer Afro Latin Dance Festival is. We reach out to different queer and trans artists from different parts of the globe. We’ve brought people from Europe, Mexico, Canada.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">For 3 days, there’s all kinds of workshops. During the day, there’s like three pool party- a pool party every day of the weekend! Extravagant, beautiful showcases celebrating queer and trans Afro-Latin dancers. And then we dance till five in the morning, and we do that for three days.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">As teachers and dancers, what specific moment had the most impact on you?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">One moment that to me stands out forever is at the 2nd annual Queer Afro Latin Dance Festival. The workshops are happening at the moment and Angelica and I are walking down the lobbies just kind of making sure that everything’s okay. And there’s this little… adorable little gay boy like on the floor, um, changing his shoes or something, changing their shoes, and um. And they, like, grabbed my arm and they were like, “I have to ask you, is this how straight people feel every day of their lives? The way we feel here in this weekend?” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">And that to me, like I have never been able to forget that. And, you know, I didn’t even know how to answer that. Like, immediately I choked up because it was like, my gosh, like, we live with this every day of our lives. Like Angelica said, dealing with microaggressions, dealing with like, is it okay? The way I look, Is it okay? Can I… can I ride that line? How \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">much\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> of myself can I really be? You know? And he brought that all to the forefront with just that simple question: Is this how straight people feel every day? And I said, “I imagine so.” \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[laughs] \u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">You know \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[laughs]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. You know, but it was just very powerful for me. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">How would you describe Queer Joy? \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> \u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Um, I think, Queer Joy is an act of resistance.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[Music]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I think our community has, you know, really any community who’s gone through oppression and deep layers of, you know, microaggressions on a daily basis, right, Like, Like there is, I believe that oppression does get stored in the body. Any type of trauma gets stored in the body. And so the fact that we can experience it is us like resisting that oppression. It is like that. It is an essentially fighting back, right. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Like, and I think queer joy is also amplified when it is also done in a way that is ceremonial and it’s in celebration of our resistance. Right. Um, and our sacrifices and just existing and being ourselves. Like I feel like queer joy makes life better, like makes this world a better place, you know, like Black and brown joy, queer joy, trans joy, like all of that is so essential to our healing, not only as a community, but in the world. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[Music]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I’d like to give many, many thanks to Angelica Medina and Jahaira Fajardo. The haven you’ve created with In Lak’ech and the Queer Afro Latin Dance Festival is one this community needs. I hope that In Lak’ech gives back to you all the joy that it’s given to the queer community in Oakland. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Regardless of your experience level, if you’d like to take classes at In Lak’ech, check out their website at \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://inlakechdance.com/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">inlakechdance.com.\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> In Lak’ech is spelled I-N L-A-K, apostrophe, E-C-H. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The Queer Afro-Latin Dance Festival takes place every summer. If you’d like to learn more, head to queerafrolatindancefestival.com\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Don’t forget to follow In Lak’ech on instagram at, you guessed it, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/inlakechdance/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">@inlakechdance.\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">This Rightnowish episode was hosted by me, Sheree Bishop.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Chris Hambrick is our editor.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Christopher Beale is our engineer. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The Rightnowish team also includes Pendarvis Harshaw, Marisol Medina Cadena, and Xorje Olivares.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Additional support from Jen Chien, Katie Sprenger, Cesar Saldaña, and Holly Kernan.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Rightnowish is a KQED production.\u003c/span>\u003cbr>\n\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-12127869\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"78\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-400x39.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-768x75.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Rightnowish is an arts and culture podcast produced at KQED. Listen to it wherever you get your podcasts or click the play button at the top of this page and subscribe to the show on \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/721590300/rightnowish\">NPR One\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://open.spotify.com/show/7kEJuafTzTVan7B78ttz1I\">Spotify\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/rightnowish/id1482187648\">Apple Podcasts\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://tunein.com/podcasts/Arts--Culture-Podcasts/Rightnowish-p1258245/\">TuneIn\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kqed/rightnowish\">Stitcher\u003c/a> or wherever you get your podcasts. \u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]=\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13937418\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1365px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2023/11/Angelica-and-Jahaira-4.jpg\" alt=\"A woman in multi-colored leggings faces away from the camera, while dancing and holding the hand of a woman facing the camera in a black top and black jeans.\" width=\"1365\" height=\"1213\" class=\"size-full wp-image-13937418\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2023/11/Angelica-and-Jahaira-4.jpg 1365w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2023/11/Angelica-and-Jahaira-4-800x711.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2023/11/Angelica-and-Jahaira-4-1020x906.jpg 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2023/11/Angelica-and-Jahaira-4-160x142.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2023/11/Angelica-and-Jahaira-4-768x682.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1365px) 100vw, 1365px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Angelica Medina (L) dances with Jahaira Fajardo (R) \u003ccite>(Courtesy of In Lak'ech)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"#episode-transcript\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">View the full episode transcript.\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Angelica Medina’s first memories of dance are from when she was five years old doing steps to a Selena performance on TV. Her wife, Jahaira Fajardo, remembers being a New York club kid in her late teens, when she thinks of her earliest dance experiences. That’s because dancing felt very heteronormative and exclusionary, and as a lesbian growing up in a Dominican household, dancing seemed just not okay for her. Now as adults, Angelica and Jahaira are co-founders of \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://inlakechdance.com/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In Lak’ech\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">the first queer salsa and bachata dance academy in the U.S. and they are \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">out to create dance spaces that build inclusivity. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The two met while dancing in 2014, and noticed that something was missing from their experience in Latin dance. “I always felt like I could only bring a certain percentage of myself into those communities and a part of me had to be left at the door,” Jahaira says. She wanted to lead during partner dancing but found that people weren’t very open to female leads. She found acceptance for leading in the Queer community, but it felt worlds away from the Afro-Latin dance community. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">During a break while training for a competition, Angelica and Jahaira went for a walk. Angelica asked, “Why don’t we start our own community? Why don’t we start our own dance company?” and the idea for In Lak’ech was born with the goal of bringing both communities together to provide a space where everyone is welcome. “Leading and following have nothing to do with gender, you know, and so essentially we normalize a space where you can show up as your authentic self,” Angelica says. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Encouraged by their students at the academy, the duo went on to create the \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://queerafrolatindancefestival.com/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Queer Afro-Latin Dance Festival\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. It’s now in its 6th year and is a space where queer and trans dancers can just exist and be themselves. The festival’s offerings have now expanded to include panel discussions on issues like anti-blackness and body positivity and how that affects dancers. Musing about dancing in the community they’ve created, Jahaira says, “Just being up there on stage is a powerful statement in itself, right? – of like taking up space, like a tribe kind of feeling, of like we’re showing up or we’re here to stay. It’s a really empowering and powerful experience. “\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next Queer Afro-Latin Dance Festival takes place in San Jose, June 14-17, 2024. Visit \u003ca href=\"https://queerafrolatindancefestival.com/\">queerafrolatindancefestival.com\u003c/a> for more information.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe loading=\"lazy\" frameborder=\"0\" height=\"200\" scrolling=\"no\" src=\"https://playlist.megaphone.fm/?e=KQINC6804506669&light=true\" width=\"100%\" class=\"iframe-class\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-content post-body\">\u003ch2 id=\"episode-transcript\">Episode Transcript\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo, guest:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Did you want to tell folks what In lak’ech means? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina, guest:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> In Lak’ech is a Mayan phrase and it means you are my other me, ‘Tu eres mi otro yo. We are a reflection of each other.’ And so it’s a beautiful message we love to share with the community and that message is very much embodied in our dance classes and all of our events. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[Music]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop, host: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Hey listeners, my name’s Sheree, and I’m a production intern on Rightnowish. I’ll be your host for this episode! Today, I spoke to Jahaira Fajardo and Angelica Medina. They’re the co-directors and founders of In Lak’ech Dance, the first queer\u003c/span> \u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Salsa and Bachata academy.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Nothing brings people together like some food, some music, and some good dancing. When I’m in a place where I feel like I belong, I know I can count on a friendly smile and an introduction to help me feel included. \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When I went to a class at In Lak’ech Dance, that’s exactly what it felt like, warm, inviting, and filled with kind people.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Yes, it’s nice to dance alone at home and, you know, be in your element but I think there is power. There’s like another element of like community collective healing that happens when you are surrounded with people who can share that same feeling of joy.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">It’s hard to find community when your options are limited, and even harder to build it yourself. That’s the thing, you might know what you’re looking for, but you don’t have a community unless other people are looking for it too. Jahaira told me that when In Lak’ech started, both of them underestimated how many people would be interested. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Oh my God. That was so incredible, because we had our first audition August 2nd, 2017, and we thought, oh, you know, maybe we’ll have like 4 couples (8 to 10 people). 58 people showed up to our auditions! And we were blown away by the reception. We were like, ‘Okay, our people want this, you know, queer and trans people want to dance.’\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> In Lak’ech has only grown since then, thanks to the dedication of the couple at its center. Angelica, who keeps her hair dyed a deep, vibrant purple and her wife, Jahaira, who wears gauges and often sports large cornrows. \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Like any passion, turned hobby, turned profession, Angelica and Jahaira started as dancers, and as a couple, \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">before\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> In Lak’ech Dance was established. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Sheree Bishop: \u003c/b>How did you both meet?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Yeah…\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Bailando… dancing, of course.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">We met dancing. Yes. Um, yeah, we, we met in San Francisco at a bar called The Neck of the Woods. It was like a dancing… \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> …social night. And, yeah, I had seen Jahaira dancing, and I went up to her towards the last kind of part of the night, and I was like, “Do you want to dance?” And she almost said no. \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[laughs] \u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> It was late and I was tired. And it’s interesting because in these spaces, the last thing I ever think is that anyone’s going to see me or these are very heteronormative spaces that we’re in. So I never go with the mindset of that. I’m going to meet someone or that I’m going to, you know, anything like that. So I was very surprised when she approached me. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Yes. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">And so we had a nice dance.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Yes! It was very lovely. And then at the end of the night, she asked me not for my number but for my name. [la\u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">ughs]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> And I’m glad she got my name and she remembered.\u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> [laughs]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">She said Angelica. So the next day I went searching on Facebook. I had a nice dance, so why not connect? And she was very surprised that I found her and… \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> I mean, I was trying to make it clear that I was into her \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[laughs]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. So I hope I made that clear. But yeah, she did message me the next day and it was. Yeah, beautiful connection. From there we started dating and the rest is history. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Yeah. That was nine- nine years ago, my goodness. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Sometimes couples can’t work together. So, how did you two discover that you could?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Um, I guess. Competing together, performing together, learning the choreography together, to then choreograph together. I think that process made it so, for me, so that I know that we could… Okay, we can hear each other’s perspectives and thoughts and ideas, and it’s definitely not easy. I mean, I don’t think any coupleship or marriage or any type of partnership is easy. And I still feel like we do really well together. I think one thing that helps is like, enjoying each other’s presence. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Yeah, it’s nice that we like each other. \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[laughs]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">We were just saying that, walking here.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I know, we were just saying that. We do spend a lot of time together and we work out together, we eat together, you know, we run a business together and, I was just telling her I’m so happy that we like each other because, you know, it could just be the work thing. But yeah, we and like she said, it’s definitely not easy. And sometimes we have to, you know, have support in order to keep the balance between our… our marriage and our partnership.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I wanted to switch it up a little bit. What is your earliest memory of dancing?\u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> \u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Yeah, I would say me being five years old and dancing to Selena in front of the TV. Yeah, it’s pretty simple. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">You know, for me it wasn’t until I can say that I was about 18 that I, that I became kind of like a “club kid” in New York City where I grew up. And so I used to listen to, like, and dance to a lot of house music, techno music. And I sort of, you know, I was 18, 19, so I was going to all the clubs. I never really thought about it, but that 18 is probably… 19 is probably my earliest memory of \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">me\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> dancing so. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">What about your videos from home being 15, 16? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">That too, that’s true. We always had, you know, growing up in a Dominican household, we always had parties. I think I always kind of like attributed dance to my sister because she was such a dancer and I was, “oh, that’s not from me.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">And I also felt because I think because I was a lesbian \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[laughs]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, that it is just not okay for me, you know? And I just was like, yes, we had parties, but, you know, I didn’t identify as like, oh, this is my chance to dance. I was always very shy and didn’t want to dance and wanted to hide my body. Um, but yeah, it wasn’t until I got a little older.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">What did you notice was missing from the Latin dance community that led you to founding In Lak’ech?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Oh my gosh. I was very blessed because when I asked… when I met my dance directors, they didn’t even blink an eye when I told them that I wanted to lead. And in 2013, ten years ago when that happened, um, there were, I want to say, maybe including myself, 3 female leaders in the whole latin dance scene that we knew of, at least in the United States. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The heteronormativity of.. of the Latin dance world did feel very limiting to me. Um, uh, and I always felt like I could only bring a certain percentage of myself into those communities and a part of me had to be left at the door. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">It’s not very open also for female leads, right? Doesn’t give like that opportunity or even a choice. I feel like a lot of classes are so rigid and they assume gender and then they place the dance role up on that. There’s a lot of assumptions made. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[Music]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I remember one day we were walking the lake and we were in the middle of training for a competition. Our very first one. And Angelica was like, “Why don’t we start our own community? You know, why don’t we start our own dance company?” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Yeah, we wanted to start In Lak’ech so that there could be that integration of the Afro-Latin dance community with the queer community because it was very separate, you know. And so we wanted to, yeah, really bring both communities together and really provide a space where we can lead by example, where we can, you know, be inclusive and everyone is welcome. Um, and it was something that was so special and hadn’t been done before, you know. And to create that in Oakland was also really special. And so… and we’re still doing it. Yeah. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">It really grew also out of the desire that we just… we knew the joy, the benefits that we get from Afro-Latin dance. It’s our culture, it’s who we are. We love it. And I also understood why there weren’t very many, you know, queer and trans people going. The water was cold, it was frigid. And so In Lak’ech was born to kind of make the- the water a little bit warmer and say, let’s try it, you know, invite the queer and trans community to… to partake in this… in this art and this activity. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[Music]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[Chatter and conversation]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In Lak’ech hosts their classes at The Orange Room in West Oakland. When I went there, it felt like being invited into someone’s home. String lights lined the ceiling, long maroon curtains were draped over comfy, velvet couches. Everything about it was warm! Yellow lighting, cozy heat, and the sound of old and new friends greeting each other.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Once everyone arrived, class got started. The dancers sat on the floor and, when it was their turn to show everyone what they’d learned, everyone paired up based on how they preferred to dance: either by leading or by following. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[Clip of Jahaira giving advice in a dance class]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo (in clip):\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Also, sabor ya la música un poquito it just.. Sometimes it just feels like the next thing, the next thing, the poor follow is like, you know ‘what’s next? What’s next?’ So there’s just times that… am I wrong, follows? Don’t you like just a moment to just like, breathe a little bit, and you know what I mean? Like it’s nice, you know?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Even though I’d just met everyone, people introduced themselves to me, we danced together, and we ate together. I knew that I’d found a pocket of community that wouldn’t pass judgment about how I carry myself, how I dress, or in this case, how I like to dance. We’ll talk about inclusivity, how the Queer Afro Latin Dance Festival was founded, and more, right after this.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[Bachata music plays in the background while Jahaira shouts ‘Ah! Ah!’ in time with the beat]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Okay, let me be honest, when I got to the studio, the first thing I noticed was the food. A white folding table was set up in the back, stuffed with cookies, crackers, cheese, soda, you know, party snacks. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">During the class, everyone took turns dancing in pairs. They moved their hips to music, pulled off tight footwork and even tighter turns, and then Angelica and Jahaira gave them advice and tips. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb> \u003c/b>\u003cem>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[Clip of Angelica giving corrections]\u003c/span>\u003cb> \u003c/b>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina (in clip): \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">…Y’all understand the timing, understand the body movement, the isolation. And then y’all can also, like, let go and have fun! Like, yes! All those elements so, beautiful job. \u003cem>[students applaud]\u003c/em>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> At the end of the class, the room broke up into social dancing. The playlist was ready, the snacks were laid out, and everyone had the opportunity to mingle, chill, and dance as they pleased. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">As it turns out, I’d showed up on a day when they were culminating an 8 week beginner series.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">We always like to end the series with a celebration, let’s all eat together. Let’s all dance. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">We do however have like, a social dance component at the end of each class where we do rotate in social dance with each other. It’s a social dancing series. So we want to practice that feeling of improvising with another human being, right, and connecting with them.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I mean, it feels so good. You were there, you felt it. It’s like, oh, now we get to, like, intermingle and get to know each other and and we don’t know what’s going on in people’s lives. You don’t… we don’t know if people are alone, if they don’t have a community or what kind of situation they’re in. So this really is an opportunity for people to tap in, and connect, and be seen, and appreciated. We always like to end our class reminding people that they are loved, you know.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Beyond measure.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo:\u003c/b>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> [laughs]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Yes, You’re loved beyond measure. \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[laughs]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Like a little prayer. \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[laughs]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> You know, everyone’s used to Latin dance, having this very strict boy-girl type of model. And so I was wondering what steps do you take to make Latin dance an inclusive experience? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">We have community agreements that we kind of go over at the beginning of each series, um, with our students. Um, and that really, like, helps us ground in there. Like we talk about consent, we talk about sexual harassment, we talk about not making assumptions. Leading and following have nothing to do with gender, you know. And so essentially we normalize a space where you can show up as your authentic self. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> We never want to say that it’s like this difficult thing. We actually would love it if other dance companies kind of followed suit in that even if there are not, a queer and trans dance company but to just, like, allow people to show up however they want, they can lead or follow. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Being who we are as human beings, Angelica and I, we could never reject someone based on something that they can’t control. We would never be able to do that. So we made it open. We are an inclusive space um, and yes, we are queer and trans, but we are inclusive. Yeah. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Yeah. We center queer and trans folks, you know, and we welcome allies and we always let them know, you know, ally is a verb. It’s an action, right? You- we call you our allies. You don’t identify as an ally. Right? And so just making that clear because it can- it can the dynamics do shift, right, where when it’s exclusive versus inclusive.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> How does it feel to separate the leader-follower aspect from masculine and feminine? ‘Cause even outside of dancing, I feel like especially leaders, people are like, ‘Oh yeah, it’s a masculine thing.’ And so like, yeah, I was wondering how it feels to have an environment where that doesn’t necessarily… those things don’t have to be linked. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Hmm. Yeah, it. feels liberating to me. It feels like as human beings, like we are so… there’s such a spectrum that we encompass. And so I feel that to allow folks to show up. However, if you want to come on Wen- the first Wednesday of the month and you want to lead, that’s great. You want to try to follow the next week. That’s also amazing. You know, we are there to support that. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">We love folks who switch. We encourage switching in our classes. We do teach one role at a time because it is more beginner level. But yeah, we… we do want to create that.. that culture because it can be… because it is binary, right? There’s the lead and follow. It’s easy to still get caught up in those dynamics and those roles. Right? Of the leader is more masculine presenting and the follower is more of a femme presenting…\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Which we kind of fall into right with me presenting more masculine. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Exactly. Are you someone who tends to take on leadership roles and you’re always like, you know, leading a team or leading that. So maybe in dance you want to kind of step back and you want to just allow yourself to follow and relax and see what the benefits are for that and then vice versa, right? If you feel like you don’t, you know, take up as much space, then you can do that here and try taking that leadership role and try being a leader regardless of your, you know, gender expression. So we do… we do kind of frame it in that way. And I think I always say dance is life. Life is dance, right? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[Music]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> …They’re not separate. They’re together. Like how we show up in dance is, how we show up in life. And so I try to make those connections for our students.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">You know the saying, art imitates life? Well, not everyone gets to have that representation, or to see themselves in the art they love the most. It’s one thing to make art, to sing, or to dance. After that, though, we need spaces to share art with each other. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In Lak’ech brings a queer-inclusive space to learn Salsa and Bachata with the community, but the \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://queerafrolatindancefestival.com/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Queer Afro Latin Dance Festival\u003c/span> \u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">offers its participants a chance to perform for a \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">much\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> larger audience. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Speaking of the Queer Afro-Latin Dance Festival, tell me about that. Your students helped create it, right? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> It gets very tricky for our community, you know, um, because we’ve experienced… \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">And it has happened several times. Sorry to interrupt but it happened several times where our students were harmed and harm was caused at these festivals.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">It really came from them to want to create a space where they didn’t have to experience the transphobia and homophobia in these festivals. And so they were like, Let’s create a festival, let’s do it. And it was so incredibly… I’m like, I don’t even know how we did that because we started In Lak’ech in 2017 and then we had a festival in June.So less than a year we had created a festival, you know.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">And it was so special, like even it was started really small, started at\u003c/span> \u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Trilliant Dance Studios\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. And then we went to the \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Asian Cultural Center in Oakland\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and it was just, like, so intimate and so wonderful. And then from there it just started growing, um, we had a lot of energy from our students and our community to support us. And so now we’re going to do our 6th annual! \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[laughs]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Yeah, in 2022, we, we moved into a hotel, so we definitely grew in size and… Wow, what an opportunity for us to create an event where queer Black and brown people can come and participate in something that comes from \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">them\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, and heal from it and get all the great stuff from it that we didn’t feel like we could before. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Um, and so that is in a nutshell what the Queer Afro Latin Dance Festival is. We reach out to different queer and trans artists from different parts of the globe. We’ve brought people from Europe, Mexico, Canada.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">For 3 days, there’s all kinds of workshops. During the day, there’s like three pool party- a pool party every day of the weekend! Extravagant, beautiful showcases celebrating queer and trans Afro-Latin dancers. And then we dance till five in the morning, and we do that for three days.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">As teachers and dancers, what specific moment had the most impact on you?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Jahaira Fajardo: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">One moment that to me stands out forever is at the 2nd annual Queer Afro Latin Dance Festival. The workshops are happening at the moment and Angelica and I are walking down the lobbies just kind of making sure that everything’s okay. And there’s this little… adorable little gay boy like on the floor, um, changing his shoes or something, changing their shoes, and um. And they, like, grabbed my arm and they were like, “I have to ask you, is this how straight people feel every day of their lives? The way we feel here in this weekend?” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">And that to me, like I have never been able to forget that. And, you know, I didn’t even know how to answer that. Like, immediately I choked up because it was like, my gosh, like, we live with this every day of our lives. Like Angelica said, dealing with microaggressions, dealing with like, is it okay? The way I look, Is it okay? Can I… can I ride that line? How \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">much\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> of myself can I really be? You know? And he brought that all to the forefront with just that simple question: Is this how straight people feel every day? And I said, “I imagine so.” \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[laughs] \u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">You know \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[laughs]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. You know, but it was just very powerful for me. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">How would you describe Queer Joy? \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> \u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Um, I think, Queer Joy is an act of resistance.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[Music]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Angelica Medina: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I think our community has, you know, really any community who’s gone through oppression and deep layers of, you know, microaggressions on a daily basis, right, Like, Like there is, I believe that oppression does get stored in the body. Any type of trauma gets stored in the body. And so the fact that we can experience it is us like resisting that oppression. It is like that. It is an essentially fighting back, right. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Like, and I think queer joy is also amplified when it is also done in a way that is ceremonial and it’s in celebration of our resistance. Right. Um, and our sacrifices and just existing and being ourselves. Like I feel like queer joy makes life better, like makes this world a better place, you know, like Black and brown joy, queer joy, trans joy, like all of that is so essential to our healing, not only as a community, but in the world. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[Music]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I’d like to give many, many thanks to Angelica Medina and Jahaira Fajardo. The haven you’ve created with In Lak’ech and the Queer Afro Latin Dance Festival is one this community needs. I hope that In Lak’ech gives back to you all the joy that it’s given to the queer community in Oakland. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Regardless of your experience level, if you’d like to take classes at In Lak’ech, check out their website at \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://inlakechdance.com/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">inlakechdance.com.\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> In Lak’ech is spelled I-N L-A-K, apostrophe, E-C-H. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The Queer Afro-Latin Dance Festival takes place every summer. If you’d like to learn more, head to queerafrolatindancefestival.com\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Don’t forget to follow In Lak’ech on instagram at, you guessed it, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/inlakechdance/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">@inlakechdance.\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">This Rightnowish episode was hosted by me, Sheree Bishop.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Chris Hambrick is our editor.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Christopher Beale is our engineer. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The Rightnowish team also includes Pendarvis Harshaw, Marisol Medina Cadena, and Xorje Olivares.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Additional support from Jen Chien, Katie Sprenger, Cesar Saldaña, and Holly Kernan.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Rightnowish is a KQED production.\u003c/span>\u003cbr>\n\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-12127869\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"78\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-400x39.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-768x75.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Rightnowish is an arts and culture podcast produced at KQED. Listen to it wherever you get your podcasts or click the play button at the top of this page and subscribe to the show on \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/721590300/rightnowish\">NPR One\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://open.spotify.com/show/7kEJuafTzTVan7B78ttz1I\">Spotify\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/rightnowish/id1482187648\">Apple Podcasts\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://tunein.com/podcasts/Arts--Culture-Podcasts/Rightnowish-p1258245/\">TuneIn\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kqed/rightnowish\">Stitcher\u003c/a> or wherever you get your podcasts. \u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>=\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003c/div>"
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"slug": "emo-drag-king-helixir-jynder-byntwell-bends-the-gender-binary",
"title": "Meet the Emo Drag King Who's Bending the Gender Binary",
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"content": "\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"#episode-transcript\">\u003cem>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">View the full episode transcript.\u003c/span>\u003c/em>\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Born and raised in Oakland, Helixir Jynder Byntwell did drag as a hobby until August 2022. That’s when they quit their job, won the \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"http://www.sfdragkingcontest.com/bios.php\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">SF Drag King of the Year\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> competition, and became a professional king, all in the span of a week. Since then, they’ve joined the \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://rebelkingsoakland.squarespace.com/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Rebel Kings of Oakland\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, a performance troupe based at the White Horse Bar. They’ve also participated in several well-attended performances in New York and in the Bay Area, most recently at the Castro Street Fair. Byntwell’s performances are always fun, always flamboyant, and more often than not, very emo.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When asked to talk about their relationship to emo and rock music, they said, “I’ve always been, like, ostracized for being Black and also being into rock… To then be on a stage and I’m like, lip synching to “\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I Write Sins, Not Tragedies,”\u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">…\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> It’s like being validated and being seen. I love this music. These people love this music… I’m being celebrated in my fullness and not being made fun of.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_955\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-955\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/77/2023/10/Helixir-Byntwell-Chandelier-800x1198.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"1198\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Helixir Byntwell wearing a performance outfit with a false chest. (Kane C. Andrade)\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Of course, being a Black, trans performer doesn’t come without its hardships. Byntwell credits a lot of their success to their drag father and fellow Rebel Kings of Oakland member, Vera. As they put it, having a drag family, or even a found family in general, is often a necessary resource for queer people, especially trans people, to find love and support outside of a childhood family that may not have been as forgiving.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Byntwell, who goes by Jenji out of drag, \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">is also a \u003ca href=\"https://booksy.com/en-us/1045161_jenji-the-barber_barber-shop_134730_oakland\">barber\u003c/a>\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, specializing in gender affirming hair cuts. They guarantee their clients a welcoming and inviting space, where people don’t have to worry about being judged for a chosen style, whether or not the style fits the public perception of someone’s gender. Leaving room for self-expression without unnecessary boundaries is central to the many ways in which Helixir Jynder Byntwell fosters joy for LGBTQ+ people in their community.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">They describe their perception of queer joy, and how it feels to exist uninhibited: “I feel my happiest when I’m not self-conscious about how I look, what people are thinking about me, what I’m wearing, how this is sitting. It’s like, if I can’t be myself, then what am I doing. I don’t know, queers, we just do it right… We know what the risk is, but we have to be happy.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe loading=\"lazy\" frameborder=\"0\" height=\"200\" scrolling=\"no\" src=\"https://playlist.megaphone.fm/?e=KQINC5517858615&light=true\" width=\"100%\" class=\"iframe-class\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2 id=\"episode-transcript\">Episode Transcript\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Helixir Byntwell, guest: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">My mom told me a long time ago, you’re not for everybody and everybody’s not for you. And I think that helps me, especially in my art, because I’m like… If you don’t like it and you want me to be a certain way, then it’s not for you. And I’m comfortable to walk away because I’m not about to be untrue to, like- this is my art. I’m doing it for fun! So why would I like, be put into a box? Like we’re living outside the binary. So like, why keep going back?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>[Music]\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop, host: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Hey listeners! My name is Sheree and I’m a production intern on Rightnowish. I’ll be your host for this episode.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Since I moved to San Francisco, a lot of my time has been spent seeking a sense of belonging and community. Visiting the museum in the Castro, feeling the bass under my feet at Jolene’s, and watching drag kings perform at the White Horse Bar in Oakland. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">No matter where I go, nothing creates community more than finding people who make me feel welcome.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I spoke to Helixir Jynder Byntwell, who won SF’s 2022 Drag King of the Year. Even in times like \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">these\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, with lawmakers trying to ban drag performances, there are so many places filled with love and understanding, and so many people creating queer joy for themselves and for others! Helixir is one of those people.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Helixir Byntwell:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> I… I was doing, um, Oaklash, uh, this past May, and I was super… I was like, going through it. Life was life-ing. My situationship had ended, it was just bad. Everything was bad. And I.. I was super sad, but it was also like the best day because it was like, all my friends were here at this festival, and it’s the community celebrating drag in a time where like, we’re being attacked, you know, and we’re just being joyous and sharing our art with everyone. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Today, we’re bending the gender binary with Helixir Jynder Byntwell. They’re a professional drag king, queer barber, and self-proclaimed emo daddy. We’ll talk about the art of drag performance, found family, and more, right after this.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Last year you won S.F. Drag King of the Year…\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Clip of Announcer:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> I wanna give it up, number one, this year’s drag king… Helixer!… \u003cem>[Crowd cheering and applause] \u003c/em>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> What changed for you after you won? Like, what was the turning point in that?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Helixir Byntwell:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Um, It… it wasn’t even just in drag, it was also like my personal life. Like, I had quit my job two days before I won the competition, and I didn’t know what my next step was and I’m a very, like, logical person. I never make, like, rash decisions. But, I quit my job and then two days later I won the competition and it was like affirmation that I was going in the right direction. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">So, I started to move with the knowledge that I knew what was best for myself and that the confidence that I had really was self-assurance, because like, I had to believe in myself. I had to believe that it was possible for me to quit my job and then be a queer barber and a drag king.\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cbr>\n\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Your name, Helixir Jynder Byntwell, is a play on words. It literally has the word gender bent in your name. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Helixir Byntwell:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Yes! Thank you. People don’t be knowin. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Really? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Helixir Byntwell:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Yes. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Oh, that was the first thing I picked up on when I saw it. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Helixir Byntwell:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Thank you. No, I appreciate that. Yeah. So.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Yeah. So what is it about your name and the way you express yourself that brings you joy? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> \u003c/span>\u003cb>Helixir Byntwell:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> So, Helixir, I wanted it to be a play on words, but also, like, clean enough to where I can, like, work anywhere. You know what I’m saying? So Helixir like, he licks her, if you nasty. Um, and then “Jynder Byntwell” I wanted people to know from my name that like… It’s not going to be like, I don’t know, like this hyper masculine drag king. It’s like I’m doing the whole gender bending thing and like, I’m doing it well. So like, gender bent well. I thought of it myself. \u003cem>[laughs]\u003c/em>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Um, and, I feel like every time I perform, I stay authentic to that. So it’s like… I always blend like, you know, I have like my masculine brows, but then I’ll have my feminine eyeshadow and then I’ll have masculine contour, but then I’ll add glitter. Then I got lip gloss, but I got my mustache. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I like getting to accentuate what I want to when I want to, and never feeling like I have to present a certain way because like, people have this expectation of like, what drag kings are. So, um, if you are more masculine leaning, you have to fight to express that masculinity. So, a lot of people think you have to dive deep and be like, I have to be like an alpha male. I got to be that guy. But I’m like, It’s okay to be a soft boy. Like, I’m sad. I cry all the time. \u003cem>[laughs]\u003c/em>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When thinking about masculinity, that is not something that is allowed. You’re not allowed to be soft. You’re not allowed to be un-manly or you should be stoic. And it’s like I’m showing people you can literally do whatever you want. Like, I look super masculine. And then when I walk to the bar, I’m like, ‘Excuse me, Sorry. Hello?’ You know, and it’s like, it’s okay. Like there are no rules. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">What was your, like, first in-person performance and how did it feel to perform, like, for people to their faces for the first time? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Helixir Byntwell:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Okay, so my first in-person performance was November of 2020. I had just performed digitally before that. And so when you’re making a digital number, you can pause the camera, you can rerecord, you could change your outfit. But with live performance, what you see is what you get. So I was like, There is no room for error. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I’ve since learned that like, I mean, I prefer live performance just because, like, you get to interact with the crowd and that’s where it’s at for me. Because I get people to, like, let loose and like, have a good time and like, either rock out or laugh or like, scream and it’s like… I had so much support backstage from Vera, Jota Mercury, Tyson Check-in, Luke Modelo. These are like all drag legends in the Bay Area that I didn’t even know. But, like, that was my first show and they were all just so welcoming. And when I went out there, I was doing Fall Out Boy, Where is Your Boy Tonight/Grand Theft Autumn. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[Music]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Where is your boy tonight, I hope he is a gentleman.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Helixir Byntwell:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> …Like one of those songs where you just rock out, you let loose. There’s, like, a guitar solo, and I brought my actual guitar. I was, like, running around and, like, the strap broke. But I was like, still, like, running around holding it and like, everybody singing along because, like, everybody’s emo. And, literally, like, the wave of adrenaline that goes through one’s body, like, so many of us are, like, self-conscious. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">And we don’t want people to look at us or like, you know, like, we don’t want to become aware that we’re being observed by other people and being perceived. And so like to then put yourself on the spot when you like, you’re someone who’s socially anxious, you know, It’s like. It’s literally insane, but then you finish and you’re like woah. That was the best thing. You know what I mean? Like, it’s.. I can’t even describe like \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I was about to ask how you would describe it. Yeah.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Helixir Byntwell:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> It’s like, euphoric and. Even, like right before, like a like a gig that I’m super, super nervous to do. Right before I had to be like, look, you’re Helixir Jynder Byntwell. You know who you are. Like, don’t don’t start this. Like, you got this. I’m like, You’re that boy. Let’s go!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">And then I go out there, and then I have a great time. And it’s like when people know the song and they’re singing along. Sometimes people are like, ‘Oh, my God, that was my favorite song,’ you know? And when you’re able to connect with the art that you’re watching, it makes it that much better. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> How do you put your performances together? Like, from the outfits to the makeup to choosing the mixes… like, how does that process usually work? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Helixir Byntwell:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Usually it starts with the song, like, I’ll hear a song. And then I can, like, see the choreo in my head. And then sometimes I want, like, specific moments to happen. So, like, let’s say, um, I do this cover of “Stacy’s Mom,” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[A jazz-style cover of Stacy’s Mom plays under the sound of cheering, and applause]\u003c/span>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Helixir Byntwell:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> …and since it’s old timey, I wear like, slacks, suspenders, a dress shirt, sometimes a tie. Um, a little newspaper boy hat, like the Kangol and like, sparkly shoes. And then there’s, like, a little, like, harmonica bit. And so I have, like, a harmonica in my pocket. And I take it out during it. I, like, bounce around and stuff. Depending on what the song’s talking about, I can usually build a story. You know, um, make a man out of you from Mulan. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Mhmm. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Helixir Byntwell:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> There’s a cover, [laughs] and it’s like a… it’s a emo cover. And that song is, like, about being in the military. So I wear, like, camo shorts, I wear the silicone chest, I wear like, a white tank top. And then I have, like, a bandana around my head. So I’m, like, walking around like a big meat head. And I’m like, being satirical about like… like the masculinity. It’s like, ‘Did they send me daughters, when I asked for sons?’ It’s like I’m really, like, showing how silly that is, you know? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">And like for the instrumental parts, I’m like, How can I fill this time? You know? ‘Cause you have to you have to do something, you can’t just stand there. Unless you want to and it’s, like, abstract. But yeah, I… like how can I feel up this time? And it’s like, I can do a back roll, I can do some push ups and like there’s like a shirt rip moment that I do because it’s like, super intense. And I try to think like, what will get like crowd reactions, you know, or what wouldn’t they expect.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">So in your instagram bio, you describe yourself as an emo daddy. \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[laughs]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Helixir Byntwell:\u003c/b>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> [laughs]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Tell me about your emo-ness. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Helixir Byntwell: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Okay, so um. It’s weird like, everything that my drag is, is ironically turning into everything that I am in my like, personal life. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[Music]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Helixir Byntwell: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">It’s like, emo, it’s soft, it’s sensitive and… That being said, I’ve always been, like, ostracized for being Black and also being into rock. And so it’s like, being at somewhere like the Oasis and then performing for their emo nights and like, they’re booking me because, like, I have branded myself as like the emo daddy local sad boy. And it’s like to then be on a stage and I’m like, lip synching to “I write sins, not tragedies”. And everybody is cheering me on and, it’s like being validated and being seen and it’s like… I love this music. These people love this music. It’s so many people of color, so many queer people, and everyone’s like trans. And it’s like I’m being celebrated in my fullness and not being made fun of. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">So much of my drag has been healing and there’s like, photos where I’m like full emo rage, like hands on my head, like mid scream, and people are like throwing up like the rock sign and like screaming and like holding their friends. And it’s like, that is what it’s about. Like, it’s about community, it’s about feeling seen. It’s about expressing who you are.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Growing up and doing drag and finding my community. It’s like we’re all the people that were made fun of. And it’s like, yeah, like we were cool and everybody else wasn’t. And like, they couldn’t see that we were cool, but now we found each other and there’s strength in that. We’re creating art. We’re like, making it so that other, like… like youth now can see us living in our authenticity and be like, ‘That’s possible.’ \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Speaking of just being.. being a black queer performer, how do you find that affects how you’re perceived in drag? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Helixir Byntwell: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I’m very, like, flamboyant, you know? And I feel like sometimes people don’t see that or they don’t want to see my femininity because they’re focusing on the masculinity because, like, they perceive me to be female and I guess like, assume like I’m a lesbian or assume like, well, since I’m like, not born male, I must want to be like extreme male, you know, same thing like when you’re like a lesbian and people are like, ‘Oh, uh, you want to be a man, right? So let me treat you like you’re a man.’ And it’s like I’m a drag king But I never said like, I was trying to be this, like, hyper dude, you know? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Like so many different people who are now performers have been like, you showed me. I don’t have to be like like, I don’t have to play up toxic masculinity to be a drag king, and I thought that’s what I had to do. And I’m like, I didn’t use to perform female songs because I was afraid of like losing that, like, masculinity aspect. But it’s like, who cares?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[Music]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Helixir is also a member of the Rebel Kings of Oakland, a drag king troupe that’s been active for a little over ten years now. Since 2010, the Rebel Kings have performed twice a month at the White Horse Bar. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Though they welcome experienced kings and newcomers alike, the whole point of all of their performances is to show people a “gender-bending exploration through performance art.” I watched one of their shows, and at the end, all of the performers got up on stage and took this big, happy, drag family photo, with the drag parents standing in the center.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When I was looking for people to interview, someone gave me the contacts of you and two other drag kings. One of them was Lotus Boy and the other was Vera. And Vera left a note saying that their kids come first. And so I’m wondering, how did you find your drag family? What did it feel like to find them?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Helixir Byntwell:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Okay, so I was a drag orphan for a long time. I didn’t have a drag parent. And so, the first day that I went out in drag in person outside of my house was March 2020. That’s when I met Vera. And so I expressed interest in, you know, performing for the Rebel Kings. And then they told me to sign up for the waitlist and then the… the shutdown happened. And so when they had their virtual show, Vera reached out to me. And so, like even my first in-person show, like Vera invited me to do so it’s like… As much as they are like, a great friend to me, like they do feel paternal.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Being queer like I said, being black, being AFAB… It’s like you don’t always find… being trans, like you don’t always find community. And especially like just being a person on earth. It’s like you don’t always get support. Like a lot of us are so isolated, especially after like, the last three years. So it’s like, when you find a complete stranger who like,. Shows up and supports you for no reason other than the fact that, like they appreciate your art and like, they literally just want to see you shine. It’s like [sighs] Oh, you know what you call it, but it’s just like it’s just love.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Sometimes, like, our own parents don’t accept us. So when you have, like, someone else who’s not even, like, your biological family being like, ‘I accept you and I love you,’ like, that can literally change, like the course of people’s whole, you know, everything. Yeah, like having a drag family’s literally better than a high paying job. [laughs] In this economy, that’s saying a lot. [laughs]\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> What makes the Bay Area drag scene unique?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Helixir Byntwell: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The Bay Area is very good at like, being equal, you know what I mean? So it’s like when you’re booked, you don’t feel like, ‘I shouldn’t be in the dressing room because I’m a king and I need to earn my spot.’ It’s like, I’m a person. People are saying hi to me, they’re making sure I’m taken care of. And we’re very like, nurturing like people, um, whether it’s showrunners or like the owners or like the bartenders. Everybody takes care of each other. They’re like, Do you need anything? Do you need help? Like all of us help each other backstage, like, get ready. And that’s something my mom, um, has commented on, coming to my shows with me is that when you’re backstage, everybody’s helping everybody. Nobody’s like, ‘Oh, well, you’re… you’re another performer. So, you know, I’m about my coin and I can’t help you’ cause, you know, it’s like, no…\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">There was a drag queen. Um, we were doing a show together. It’s Ida Knowe, and she was going to do a moment where she puts on roller skates. So she comes backstage, like during the chorus, like where it’s like, instrumental. Then me and my drag son, Fender, drop to our knees backstage, rip off her boots, put on the roller skates, tie them, and then like, send her out there. And it’s like she could have had to do that by herself. But it’s like, we are such a community out here where it’s like, we’re going to make your number as good as it can be. Like as fast as, like, efficient. Because we want your art to turn out how you want it in your head because, like, it’s your brainchild, you know? So, like, we’re really out here just trying to make it work for each other. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">How would you describe queer joy, and what does that feel like for you?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Helixir Byntwell: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Queer joy is existing, completely uninhibited, unrestricted and fully. Like before I knew just like, just how queer I was or like that I was trans. Every time I would go to the Castro and I was in a gay club, I would just feel like, so at home, so safe. Everybody just wants to have a great time. Everybody’s like checking on each other. Like, our community takes care of each other. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[Music]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Helixir Byntwell: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I feel my happiest when I’m not self-conscious about how I look, what people are thinking about me, what I’m wearing, how this is sitting. It’s like, if I can’t be myself, then what am I doing?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I don’t know, queers, we just do it right. We’re just like, we know what the risk is, but we have to be happy. And I feel like specifically queer joy is like a form of like, revolution because it’s like… The world is trying to beat us down. And like, despite that, we’re still rising and we’re still showing up and we’re still existing and, like, smiling and laughing and loving.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[Music]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I’d like to give a big thank you to Helixir Jynder Byntwell. Your performances and your flamboyant, colorful drag is masculine, feminine, funny, and captivating all at once. They’re also a barber at Salon 3155 on Mission Street, specializing in gender affirming haircuts. You can book an appointment with them on instagram at jenjithebarber, spelled J-E-N-J-I. You can \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">also \u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">watch them perform with Rebel Kings of Oakland, or you can check out their profile for more updates on when they’ll be performing near you.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Don’t forget to follow their main profile on instagram at Helixirdrag. That’s H-E-L-I-X-I-R D-R-A-G.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Now, I want to shoutout the people who helped make this happen. Thanks for not making me get y’all coffee. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">This Rightnowish episode was hosted by me, Sheree Bishop.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Chris Hambrick is our editor.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Christopher Beale is our engineer. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The Rightnowish team also includes Pendarvis Harshaw, Marisol Medina Cadena, and Xorje Olivares\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Additional support from Jen Chien, Katie Sprenger, Cesar Saldaña, and Holly Kernan.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Rightnowish is a KQED production.\u003c/span>\u003cbr>\n\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-12127869\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"78\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-400x39.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-768x75.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Rightnowish is an arts and culture podcast produced at KQED. Listen to it wherever you get your podcasts or click the play button at the top of this page and subscribe to the show on \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/721590300/rightnowish\">NPR One\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://open.spotify.com/show/7kEJuafTzTVan7B78ttz1I\">Spotify\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/rightnowish/id1482187648\">Apple Podcasts\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://tunein.com/podcasts/Arts--Culture-Podcasts/Rightnowish-p1258245/\">TuneIn\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kqed/rightnowish\">Stitcher\u003c/a> or wherever you get your podcasts. \u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]=\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"#episode-transcript\">\u003cem>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">View the full episode transcript.\u003c/span>\u003c/em>\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Born and raised in Oakland, Helixir Jynder Byntwell did drag as a hobby until August 2022. That’s when they quit their job, won the \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"http://www.sfdragkingcontest.com/bios.php\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">SF Drag King of the Year\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> competition, and became a professional king, all in the span of a week. Since then, they’ve joined the \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://rebelkingsoakland.squarespace.com/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Rebel Kings of Oakland\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, a performance troupe based at the White Horse Bar. They’ve also participated in several well-attended performances in New York and in the Bay Area, most recently at the Castro Street Fair. Byntwell’s performances are always fun, always flamboyant, and more often than not, very emo.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When asked to talk about their relationship to emo and rock music, they said, “I’ve always been, like, ostracized for being Black and also being into rock… To then be on a stage and I’m like, lip synching to “\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I Write Sins, Not Tragedies,”\u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">…\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> It’s like being validated and being seen. I love this music. These people love this music… I’m being celebrated in my fullness and not being made fun of.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_955\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-955\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/77/2023/10/Helixir-Byntwell-Chandelier-800x1198.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"1198\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Helixir Byntwell wearing a performance outfit with a false chest. (Kane C. Andrade)\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Of course, being a Black, trans performer doesn’t come without its hardships. Byntwell credits a lot of their success to their drag father and fellow Rebel Kings of Oakland member, Vera. As they put it, having a drag family, or even a found family in general, is often a necessary resource for queer people, especially trans people, to find love and support outside of a childhood family that may not have been as forgiving.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Byntwell, who goes by Jenji out of drag, \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">is also a \u003ca href=\"https://booksy.com/en-us/1045161_jenji-the-barber_barber-shop_134730_oakland\">barber\u003c/a>\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, specializing in gender affirming hair cuts. They guarantee their clients a welcoming and inviting space, where people don’t have to worry about being judged for a chosen style, whether or not the style fits the public perception of someone’s gender. Leaving room for self-expression without unnecessary boundaries is central to the many ways in which Helixir Jynder Byntwell fosters joy for LGBTQ+ people in their community.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">They describe their perception of queer joy, and how it feels to exist uninhibited: “I feel my happiest when I’m not self-conscious about how I look, what people are thinking about me, what I’m wearing, how this is sitting. It’s like, if I can’t be myself, then what am I doing. I don’t know, queers, we just do it right… We know what the risk is, but we have to be happy.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe loading=\"lazy\" frameborder=\"0\" height=\"200\" scrolling=\"no\" src=\"https://playlist.megaphone.fm/?e=KQINC5517858615&light=true\" width=\"100%\" class=\"iframe-class\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-content post-body\">\u003ch2 id=\"episode-transcript\">Episode Transcript\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Helixir Byntwell, guest: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">My mom told me a long time ago, you’re not for everybody and everybody’s not for you. And I think that helps me, especially in my art, because I’m like… If you don’t like it and you want me to be a certain way, then it’s not for you. And I’m comfortable to walk away because I’m not about to be untrue to, like- this is my art. I’m doing it for fun! So why would I like, be put into a box? Like we’re living outside the binary. So like, why keep going back?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>[Music]\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop, host: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Hey listeners! My name is Sheree and I’m a production intern on Rightnowish. I’ll be your host for this episode.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Since I moved to San Francisco, a lot of my time has been spent seeking a sense of belonging and community. Visiting the museum in the Castro, feeling the bass under my feet at Jolene’s, and watching drag kings perform at the White Horse Bar in Oakland. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">No matter where I go, nothing creates community more than finding people who make me feel welcome.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I spoke to Helixir Jynder Byntwell, who won SF’s 2022 Drag King of the Year. Even in times like \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">these\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, with lawmakers trying to ban drag performances, there are so many places filled with love and understanding, and so many people creating queer joy for themselves and for others! Helixir is one of those people.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Helixir Byntwell:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> I… I was doing, um, Oaklash, uh, this past May, and I was super… I was like, going through it. Life was life-ing. My situationship had ended, it was just bad. Everything was bad. And I.. I was super sad, but it was also like the best day because it was like, all my friends were here at this festival, and it’s the community celebrating drag in a time where like, we’re being attacked, you know, and we’re just being joyous and sharing our art with everyone. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Today, we’re bending the gender binary with Helixir Jynder Byntwell. They’re a professional drag king, queer barber, and self-proclaimed emo daddy. We’ll talk about the art of drag performance, found family, and more, right after this.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Last year you won S.F. Drag King of the Year…\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Clip of Announcer:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> I wanna give it up, number one, this year’s drag king… Helixer!… \u003cem>[Crowd cheering and applause] \u003c/em>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> What changed for you after you won? Like, what was the turning point in that?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Helixir Byntwell:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Um, It… it wasn’t even just in drag, it was also like my personal life. Like, I had quit my job two days before I won the competition, and I didn’t know what my next step was and I’m a very, like, logical person. I never make, like, rash decisions. But, I quit my job and then two days later I won the competition and it was like affirmation that I was going in the right direction. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">So, I started to move with the knowledge that I knew what was best for myself and that the confidence that I had really was self-assurance, because like, I had to believe in myself. I had to believe that it was possible for me to quit my job and then be a queer barber and a drag king.\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cbr>\n\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Your name, Helixir Jynder Byntwell, is a play on words. It literally has the word gender bent in your name. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Helixir Byntwell:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Yes! Thank you. People don’t be knowin. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Really? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Helixir Byntwell:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Yes. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Oh, that was the first thing I picked up on when I saw it. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Helixir Byntwell:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Thank you. No, I appreciate that. Yeah. So.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Yeah. So what is it about your name and the way you express yourself that brings you joy? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> \u003c/span>\u003cb>Helixir Byntwell:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> So, Helixir, I wanted it to be a play on words, but also, like, clean enough to where I can, like, work anywhere. You know what I’m saying? So Helixir like, he licks her, if you nasty. Um, and then “Jynder Byntwell” I wanted people to know from my name that like… It’s not going to be like, I don’t know, like this hyper masculine drag king. It’s like I’m doing the whole gender bending thing and like, I’m doing it well. So like, gender bent well. I thought of it myself. \u003cem>[laughs]\u003c/em>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Um, and, I feel like every time I perform, I stay authentic to that. So it’s like… I always blend like, you know, I have like my masculine brows, but then I’ll have my feminine eyeshadow and then I’ll have masculine contour, but then I’ll add glitter. Then I got lip gloss, but I got my mustache. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I like getting to accentuate what I want to when I want to, and never feeling like I have to present a certain way because like, people have this expectation of like, what drag kings are. So, um, if you are more masculine leaning, you have to fight to express that masculinity. So, a lot of people think you have to dive deep and be like, I have to be like an alpha male. I got to be that guy. But I’m like, It’s okay to be a soft boy. Like, I’m sad. I cry all the time. \u003cem>[laughs]\u003c/em>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When thinking about masculinity, that is not something that is allowed. You’re not allowed to be soft. You’re not allowed to be un-manly or you should be stoic. And it’s like I’m showing people you can literally do whatever you want. Like, I look super masculine. And then when I walk to the bar, I’m like, ‘Excuse me, Sorry. Hello?’ You know, and it’s like, it’s okay. Like there are no rules. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">What was your, like, first in-person performance and how did it feel to perform, like, for people to their faces for the first time? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Helixir Byntwell:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Okay, so my first in-person performance was November of 2020. I had just performed digitally before that. And so when you’re making a digital number, you can pause the camera, you can rerecord, you could change your outfit. But with live performance, what you see is what you get. So I was like, There is no room for error. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I’ve since learned that like, I mean, I prefer live performance just because, like, you get to interact with the crowd and that’s where it’s at for me. Because I get people to, like, let loose and like, have a good time and like, either rock out or laugh or like, scream and it’s like… I had so much support backstage from Vera, Jota Mercury, Tyson Check-in, Luke Modelo. These are like all drag legends in the Bay Area that I didn’t even know. But, like, that was my first show and they were all just so welcoming. And when I went out there, I was doing Fall Out Boy, Where is Your Boy Tonight/Grand Theft Autumn. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[Music]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Where is your boy tonight, I hope he is a gentleman.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Helixir Byntwell:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> …Like one of those songs where you just rock out, you let loose. There’s, like, a guitar solo, and I brought my actual guitar. I was, like, running around and, like, the strap broke. But I was like, still, like, running around holding it and like, everybody singing along because, like, everybody’s emo. And, literally, like, the wave of adrenaline that goes through one’s body, like, so many of us are, like, self-conscious. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">And we don’t want people to look at us or like, you know, like, we don’t want to become aware that we’re being observed by other people and being perceived. And so like to then put yourself on the spot when you like, you’re someone who’s socially anxious, you know, It’s like. It’s literally insane, but then you finish and you’re like woah. That was the best thing. You know what I mean? Like, it’s.. I can’t even describe like \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I was about to ask how you would describe it. Yeah.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Helixir Byntwell:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> It’s like, euphoric and. Even, like right before, like a like a gig that I’m super, super nervous to do. Right before I had to be like, look, you’re Helixir Jynder Byntwell. You know who you are. Like, don’t don’t start this. Like, you got this. I’m like, You’re that boy. Let’s go!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">And then I go out there, and then I have a great time. And it’s like when people know the song and they’re singing along. Sometimes people are like, ‘Oh, my God, that was my favorite song,’ you know? And when you’re able to connect with the art that you’re watching, it makes it that much better. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> How do you put your performances together? Like, from the outfits to the makeup to choosing the mixes… like, how does that process usually work? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Helixir Byntwell:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Usually it starts with the song, like, I’ll hear a song. And then I can, like, see the choreo in my head. And then sometimes I want, like, specific moments to happen. So, like, let’s say, um, I do this cover of “Stacy’s Mom,” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[A jazz-style cover of Stacy’s Mom plays under the sound of cheering, and applause]\u003c/span>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Helixir Byntwell:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> …and since it’s old timey, I wear like, slacks, suspenders, a dress shirt, sometimes a tie. Um, a little newspaper boy hat, like the Kangol and like, sparkly shoes. And then there’s, like, a little, like, harmonica bit. And so I have, like, a harmonica in my pocket. And I take it out during it. I, like, bounce around and stuff. Depending on what the song’s talking about, I can usually build a story. You know, um, make a man out of you from Mulan. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Mhmm. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Helixir Byntwell:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> There’s a cover, [laughs] and it’s like a… it’s a emo cover. And that song is, like, about being in the military. So I wear, like, camo shorts, I wear the silicone chest, I wear like, a white tank top. And then I have, like, a bandana around my head. So I’m, like, walking around like a big meat head. And I’m like, being satirical about like… like the masculinity. It’s like, ‘Did they send me daughters, when I asked for sons?’ It’s like I’m really, like, showing how silly that is, you know? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">And like for the instrumental parts, I’m like, How can I fill this time? You know? ‘Cause you have to you have to do something, you can’t just stand there. Unless you want to and it’s, like, abstract. But yeah, I… like how can I feel up this time? And it’s like, I can do a back roll, I can do some push ups and like there’s like a shirt rip moment that I do because it’s like, super intense. And I try to think like, what will get like crowd reactions, you know, or what wouldn’t they expect.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">So in your instagram bio, you describe yourself as an emo daddy. \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[laughs]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Helixir Byntwell:\u003c/b>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> [laughs]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Tell me about your emo-ness. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Helixir Byntwell: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Okay, so um. It’s weird like, everything that my drag is, is ironically turning into everything that I am in my like, personal life. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[Music]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Helixir Byntwell: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">It’s like, emo, it’s soft, it’s sensitive and… That being said, I’ve always been, like, ostracized for being Black and also being into rock. And so it’s like, being at somewhere like the Oasis and then performing for their emo nights and like, they’re booking me because, like, I have branded myself as like the emo daddy local sad boy. And it’s like to then be on a stage and I’m like, lip synching to “I write sins, not tragedies”. And everybody is cheering me on and, it’s like being validated and being seen and it’s like… I love this music. These people love this music. It’s so many people of color, so many queer people, and everyone’s like trans. And it’s like I’m being celebrated in my fullness and not being made fun of. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">So much of my drag has been healing and there’s like, photos where I’m like full emo rage, like hands on my head, like mid scream, and people are like throwing up like the rock sign and like screaming and like holding their friends. And it’s like, that is what it’s about. Like, it’s about community, it’s about feeling seen. It’s about expressing who you are.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Growing up and doing drag and finding my community. It’s like we’re all the people that were made fun of. And it’s like, yeah, like we were cool and everybody else wasn’t. And like, they couldn’t see that we were cool, but now we found each other and there’s strength in that. We’re creating art. We’re like, making it so that other, like… like youth now can see us living in our authenticity and be like, ‘That’s possible.’ \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Speaking of just being.. being a black queer performer, how do you find that affects how you’re perceived in drag? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Helixir Byntwell: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I’m very, like, flamboyant, you know? And I feel like sometimes people don’t see that or they don’t want to see my femininity because they’re focusing on the masculinity because, like, they perceive me to be female and I guess like, assume like I’m a lesbian or assume like, well, since I’m like, not born male, I must want to be like extreme male, you know, same thing like when you’re like a lesbian and people are like, ‘Oh, uh, you want to be a man, right? So let me treat you like you’re a man.’ And it’s like I’m a drag king But I never said like, I was trying to be this, like, hyper dude, you know? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Like so many different people who are now performers have been like, you showed me. I don’t have to be like like, I don’t have to play up toxic masculinity to be a drag king, and I thought that’s what I had to do. And I’m like, I didn’t use to perform female songs because I was afraid of like losing that, like, masculinity aspect. But it’s like, who cares?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[Music]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Helixir is also a member of the Rebel Kings of Oakland, a drag king troupe that’s been active for a little over ten years now. Since 2010, the Rebel Kings have performed twice a month at the White Horse Bar. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Though they welcome experienced kings and newcomers alike, the whole point of all of their performances is to show people a “gender-bending exploration through performance art.” I watched one of their shows, and at the end, all of the performers got up on stage and took this big, happy, drag family photo, with the drag parents standing in the center.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When I was looking for people to interview, someone gave me the contacts of you and two other drag kings. One of them was Lotus Boy and the other was Vera. And Vera left a note saying that their kids come first. And so I’m wondering, how did you find your drag family? What did it feel like to find them?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Helixir Byntwell:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Okay, so I was a drag orphan for a long time. I didn’t have a drag parent. And so, the first day that I went out in drag in person outside of my house was March 2020. That’s when I met Vera. And so I expressed interest in, you know, performing for the Rebel Kings. And then they told me to sign up for the waitlist and then the… the shutdown happened. And so when they had their virtual show, Vera reached out to me. And so, like even my first in-person show, like Vera invited me to do so it’s like… As much as they are like, a great friend to me, like they do feel paternal.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Being queer like I said, being black, being AFAB… It’s like you don’t always find… being trans, like you don’t always find community. And especially like just being a person on earth. It’s like you don’t always get support. Like a lot of us are so isolated, especially after like, the last three years. So it’s like, when you find a complete stranger who like,. Shows up and supports you for no reason other than the fact that, like they appreciate your art and like, they literally just want to see you shine. It’s like [sighs] Oh, you know what you call it, but it’s just like it’s just love.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Sometimes, like, our own parents don’t accept us. So when you have, like, someone else who’s not even, like, your biological family being like, ‘I accept you and I love you,’ like, that can literally change, like the course of people’s whole, you know, everything. Yeah, like having a drag family’s literally better than a high paying job. [laughs] In this economy, that’s saying a lot. [laughs]\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> What makes the Bay Area drag scene unique?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Helixir Byntwell: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The Bay Area is very good at like, being equal, you know what I mean? So it’s like when you’re booked, you don’t feel like, ‘I shouldn’t be in the dressing room because I’m a king and I need to earn my spot.’ It’s like, I’m a person. People are saying hi to me, they’re making sure I’m taken care of. And we’re very like, nurturing like people, um, whether it’s showrunners or like the owners or like the bartenders. Everybody takes care of each other. They’re like, Do you need anything? Do you need help? Like all of us help each other backstage, like, get ready. And that’s something my mom, um, has commented on, coming to my shows with me is that when you’re backstage, everybody’s helping everybody. Nobody’s like, ‘Oh, well, you’re… you’re another performer. So, you know, I’m about my coin and I can’t help you’ cause, you know, it’s like, no…\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">There was a drag queen. Um, we were doing a show together. It’s Ida Knowe, and she was going to do a moment where she puts on roller skates. So she comes backstage, like during the chorus, like where it’s like, instrumental. Then me and my drag son, Fender, drop to our knees backstage, rip off her boots, put on the roller skates, tie them, and then like, send her out there. And it’s like she could have had to do that by herself. But it’s like, we are such a community out here where it’s like, we’re going to make your number as good as it can be. Like as fast as, like, efficient. Because we want your art to turn out how you want it in your head because, like, it’s your brainchild, you know? So, like, we’re really out here just trying to make it work for each other. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">How would you describe queer joy, and what does that feel like for you?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Helixir Byntwell: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Queer joy is existing, completely uninhibited, unrestricted and fully. Like before I knew just like, just how queer I was or like that I was trans. Every time I would go to the Castro and I was in a gay club, I would just feel like, so at home, so safe. Everybody just wants to have a great time. Everybody’s like checking on each other. Like, our community takes care of each other. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[Music]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Helixir Byntwell: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I feel my happiest when I’m not self-conscious about how I look, what people are thinking about me, what I’m wearing, how this is sitting. It’s like, if I can’t be myself, then what am I doing?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I don’t know, queers, we just do it right. We’re just like, we know what the risk is, but we have to be happy. And I feel like specifically queer joy is like a form of like, revolution because it’s like… The world is trying to beat us down. And like, despite that, we’re still rising and we’re still showing up and we’re still existing and, like, smiling and laughing and loving.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[Music]\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Sheree Bishop: \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I’d like to give a big thank you to Helixir Jynder Byntwell. Your performances and your flamboyant, colorful drag is masculine, feminine, funny, and captivating all at once. They’re also a barber at Salon 3155 on Mission Street, specializing in gender affirming haircuts. You can book an appointment with them on instagram at jenjithebarber, spelled J-E-N-J-I. You can \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">also \u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">watch them perform with Rebel Kings of Oakland, or you can check out their profile for more updates on when they’ll be performing near you.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Don’t forget to follow their main profile on instagram at Helixirdrag. That’s H-E-L-I-X-I-R D-R-A-G.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Now, I want to shoutout the people who helped make this happen. Thanks for not making me get y’all coffee. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">This Rightnowish episode was hosted by me, Sheree Bishop.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Chris Hambrick is our editor.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Christopher Beale is our engineer. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The Rightnowish team also includes Pendarvis Harshaw, Marisol Medina Cadena, and Xorje Olivares\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Additional support from Jen Chien, Katie Sprenger, Cesar Saldaña, and Holly Kernan.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Rightnowish is a KQED production.\u003c/span>\u003cbr>\n\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-12127869\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"78\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-400x39.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-768x75.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Rightnowish is an arts and culture podcast produced at KQED. Listen to it wherever you get your podcasts or click the play button at the top of this page and subscribe to the show on \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/721590300/rightnowish\">NPR One\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://open.spotify.com/show/7kEJuafTzTVan7B78ttz1I\">Spotify\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/rightnowish/id1482187648\">Apple Podcasts\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://tunein.com/podcasts/Arts--Culture-Podcasts/Rightnowish-p1258245/\">TuneIn\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kqed/rightnowish\">Stitcher\u003c/a> or wherever you get your podcasts. \u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>=\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003c/div>"
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"info": "Our flagship program, helmed by Kai Ryssdal, examines what the day in money delivered, through stories, conversations, newsworthy numbers and more. Updated Monday through Friday at about 3:30 p.m. PT.",
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"info": "The MindShift podcast explores the innovations in education that are shaping how kids learn. Hosts Ki Sung and Katrina Schwartz introduce listeners to educators, researchers, parents and students who are developing effective ways to improve how kids learn. We cover topics like how fed-up administrators are developing surprising tactics to deal with classroom disruptions; how listening to podcasts are helping kids develop reading skills; the consequences of overparenting; and why interdisciplinary learning can engage students on all ends of the traditional achievement spectrum. This podcast is part of the MindShift education site, a division of KQED News. KQED is an NPR/PBS member station based in San Francisco. You can also visit the MindShift website for episodes and supplemental blog posts or tweet us \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/MindShiftKQED\">@MindShiftKQED\u003c/a> or visit us at \u003ca href=\"/mindshift\">MindShift.KQED.org\u003c/a>",
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"info": "For decades, the process for how police police themselves has been inconsistent – if not opaque. In some states, like California, these proceedings were completely hidden. After a new police transparency law unsealed scores of internal affairs files, our reporters set out to examine these cases and the shadow world of police discipline. On Our Watch brings listeners into the rooms where officers are questioned and witnesses are interrogated to find out who this system is really protecting. Is it the officers, or the public they've sworn to serve?",
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"info": "Our weekly podcast explores how the media 'sausage' is made, casts an incisive eye on fluctuations in the marketplace of ideas, and examines threats to the freedom of information and expression in America and abroad. For one hour a week, the show tries to lift the veil from the process of \"making media,\" especially news media, because it's through that lens that we see the world and the world sees us",
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"tagline": "Politics from a personal perspective",
"info": "Political Breakdown is a new series that explores the political intersection of California and the nation. Each week hosts Scott Shafer and Marisa Lagos are joined with a new special guest to unpack politics -- with personality — and offer an insider’s glimpse at how politics happens.",
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"info": "Possible is hosted by entrepreneur Reid Hoffman and writer Aria Finger. Together in Possible, Hoffman and Finger lead enlightening discussions about building a brighter collective future. The show features interviews with visionary guests like Trevor Noah, Sam Altman and Janette Sadik-Khan. Possible paints an optimistic portrait of the world we can create through science, policy, business, art and our shared humanity. It asks: What if everything goes right for once? How can we get there? Each episode also includes a short fiction story generated by advanced AI GPT-4, serving as a thought-provoking springboard to speculate how humanity could leverage technology for good.",
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"radiolab": {
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"info": "A two-time Peabody Award-winner, Radiolab is an investigation told through sounds and stories, and centered around one big idea. In the Radiolab world, information sounds like music and science and culture collide. Hosted by Jad Abumrad and Robert Krulwich, the show is designed for listeners who demand skepticism, but appreciate wonder. WNYC Studios is the producer of other leading podcasts including Freakonomics Radio, Death, Sex & Money, On the Media and many more.",
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"reveal": {
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"officialWebsiteLink": "https://www.revealnews.org/episodes/",
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},
"rightnowish": {
"id": "rightnowish",
"title": "Rightnowish",
"tagline": "Art is where you find it",
"info": "Rightnowish digs into life in the Bay Area right now… ish. Journalist Pendarvis Harshaw takes us to galleries painted on the sides of liquor stores in West Oakland. We'll dance in warehouses in the Bayview, make smoothies with kids in South Berkeley, and listen to classical music in a 1984 Cutlass Supreme in Richmond. Every week, Pen talks to movers and shakers about how the Bay Area shapes what they create, and how they shape the place we call home.",
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"science-friday": {
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