Lockdown Movie Musts: 1960s Domestic Comedies (a.k.a. Horror Films)
Lockdown Movie Musts: 1960s Creature Features (...But Made By British People)
Lockdown Movie Musts: 1970s Disaster Debacles
Lockdown Movie Musts: 1950s B-Movies, Underwater Monster Edition
Lockdown Movie Musts: 1960s Beach Party Preposterousness
Lockdown Movie Musts: The Breakdancing B-Boys of 1984 Edition
Lockdown Movie Musts: 1950s Hot Rods, Hellcats and He-Males
Lockdown Movie Musts: 1970s Roller Disco Movies (No, Really)
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Born and raised in Wales, she started her career in London, as a music journalist for uproarious rock ’n’ roll magazine, \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kerrang.com/features/an-oral-history-of-alternative-tentacles-40-years-of-keeping-punk-alive/\">Kerrang!\u003c/a>\u003c/em>. In America, she got her start at alt-weeklies including \u003ca href=\"https://archives.sfweekly.com/sanfrancisco/ArticleArchives?author=2127078&excludeCategoryType=Blog\">\u003cem>SF Weekly\u003c/em>\u003c/a> and the \u003ca href=\"https://www.villagevoice.com/author/raealexandra/\">\u003cem>Village Voice\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, and freelanced for a great many other publications. Her undying love for San Francisco has, more recently, turned her into \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/tag/bayareahistory/\">a history nerd\u003c/a>. 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Horror Films)","publishDate":1589569565,"format":"standard","headTitle":"Lockdown Movie Musts: 1960s Domestic Comedies (a.k.a. Horror Films) | KQED","labelTerm":{"term":140,"site":"arts"},"content":"\u003cp>Welcome to week eight of \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/tag/lockdown-movie-musts\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Lockdown Movie Musts\u003c/a>! Featuring weird subgenres of yore that’ll make you go, “Hey! Look at that! Women used to be stuck inside \u003cem>permanently\u003c/em>!”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This week, we’re exploring domestic bliss, 1960s-style. We’ve got a marriage movie (1963’s \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0057581/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>The Thrill of it All\u003c/em>\u003c/a>), a divorce movie (1967’s \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0061581/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Divorce, American Style\u003c/em>\u003c/a>) and a movie about people who have absolutely no idea how to use contraception (\u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0063829/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Yours, Mine and Ours\u003c/a>\u003c/em>).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Let’s start with \u003cem>Divorce, American Style\u003c/em>. A caper that exists solely to spread the message that unhappily married people should stay that way, on the grounds that it’s normal to hate your spouse.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Allow me to elaborate.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Barbara (Debbie Reynolds) and Richard Harmon (Dick Van Dyke) are a couple that have drifted apart. Barbara blames this on Richard’s inability to share his feelings. I would attribute it to his tendency to smash plates and yell about being “a house boy” every time he’s asked to move a plate to the kitchen. (\u003cem>Jesus, 1960s men!\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sick of bickering, the two decide to divorce. Before the decree absolute comes through, they both start serious relationships with the first humans of the opposite sex they happen to stumble across. (Not so smart, these two.) Most of the film is filled with gross exaggerations about how much men suffer because of alimony payments, and how complicated it is to date divorcees, what with all their previous spouses and children.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Naturally, the two eventually get back together. (\u003cem>Groan\u003c/em>.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VYvZpikpljg\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Here’s what the reconciliation sounds like:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Richard:\u003c/strong> “The problem is, marriage is work and nobody wants to work.”\u003cbr>\n\u003cstrong>Barbara\u003c/strong>: “The real problem is that line between the sexes. Women are crossing it so much today, it’s being erased… Why resent being the supplier when that’s why you’re in demand in the first place?”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The \u003cem>romance\u003c/em>, amirite?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Divorce, American Style\u003c/em>, however, is a dreamscape compared to Doris Day and James Garner hellride, \u003cem>The Thrill of it All\u003c/em>. This is a movie that straight-faced answers the question: “What would happen if \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phyllis_Schlafly\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Phyllis Schlafly\u003c/a> was married to \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norman_Bates\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Norman Bates\u003c/a> but we wanted to make that seem like a \u003cem>good\u003c/em> thing?”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Prepare to momentarily stop breathing as I tell you the plot to this “romantic” “comedy.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Beverly Boyer (Doris Day) is the happy housewife of an obstetrician named Gerald (James Garner). Beverly is perfectly presented at all times, to the point that she wears coral lipstick and false eyelashes to bed. Beverly and Gerald have somehow managed to conceive two children despite sleeping in twin beds with a table wedged between them. One day, Beverly accidentally lands herself a job as a spokesperson for Happy Soap (by talking about her bratty kids at a dinner party, naturally). Her husband subsequently spends weeks throwing tantrums, withholding affection, gaslighting and eventually pretending to have an affair until she gives up her job to come back to the kitchen.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What a great guy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The happy ending of \u003cem>The Thrill of It All\u003c/em> is a woman giving up a part-time job that pays about half a million dollars a year in 2020 money. Because she’s married to a psychotic man-baby. And, according to this, she apparently likes it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40KqQt6j5_c&t=4s\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Did I mention this is supposed to be a romantic comedy?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Here’s a “hilarious” snippet of an argument that breaks out when Beverly wants to work:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Gerald:\u003c/strong> “You have your outside interests and hobbies! You have the PTA and you make your own ketchup! You’ve always said being a doctor’s wife was career enough!”\u003cbr>\n\u003cstrong>Beverly \u003c/strong>\u003cem>(rushing over to reassure him)\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>:\u003c/strong> “You know that I would never consciously go out looking for a job, don’t you? But to have something like this just land in my lap. Honey, honey… It’s only once a week and I won’t let anything interfere with my wifely duties, I promise.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>… I just … \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a similar argument later, Beverly shouts “What happened to my rights as a woman?” And Gerald retorts, “They grew and grew until they suffocated my rights as a man!”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>… cannot with these people …\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The following are some other examples of what passes for “romance” and “comedy” in \u003cem>The Thrill of it All\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Gerald complains that Beverly is at the studio too much, she brings the TV cameras to film at their house—so he loses his mind over that too. When she leaves the children with a nanny to go to a work party, he wakes the nanny up, scares her to the point of her quitting, then blames Beverly. When her employers generously build Beverly a swimming pool in the back yard, Gerald fills it with Happy Soap and destroys half the neighborhood. When Beverly is asked for her autograph at a restaurant, Gerald grabs her arm and drags her out the door.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Anyone else feeling hot under the collar from all this sexy, sexy content yet?!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For good measure, there’s also some Marilyn Monroe bullying, a hearty dose of pitting women against each other, and three separate scenes that include the line, “I guess there’s nothing more fulfilling in life than having a baby.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So, yes. \u003cem>The Thrill of It All\u003c/em> is a horror movie.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Which brings us to our third pick, 1968’s \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0063829/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Yours, Mine and Ours\u003c/em>\u003c/a>. I expected to hate this comedy for making light of rampant child production—newlyweds Helen and Frank have 18 children between them. But (\u003cem>gasp\u003c/em>) it’s actually funny! Despite being \u003ca href=\"https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/795370.Who_Gets_the_Drumstick_\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">based on a true story\u003c/a>! (But try not to think about that part…)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hq9Q-0e9mBM\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sure, there’s a fat-shaming incident, some draft board normalization (like anybody needed that in ’68) and a scene in which someone says, “The navy, like a woman, has a way of changing its mind.” But all the bad stuff is crammed into the last 30 minutes. The first 90 are a quite a delight. That’s largely thanks to the charm, charisma and comedy chops of both Lucille Ball and Henry Fonda—but honestly, even the kids are good in this thing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But in the end, all three of these movies will, in all likelihood, leave you feeling better about your own domestic situation, even during the additional stresses of sheltering in place. But \u003cem>Yours, Mine and Ours\u003c/em> is the only one that comes with wonderful footage of 1960s San Francisco and Alameda. I’d advise you to start there.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week, stay safe and keep sheltering.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-12127869\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-800x78.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"78\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-400x39.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-768x75.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>For other Lockdown Movie Musts, \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/tag/lockdown-movie-musts\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">see here\u003c/a>. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"This week's mental escape from shelter-in-place? Watching the nightmare of life as a 1960s housewife.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1705020730,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":true,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":34,"wordCount":1192},"headData":{"title":"Lockdown Movie Musts: 1960s Domestic Comedies (a.k.a. Horror Films) | KQED","description":"This week's mental escape from shelter-in-place? Watching the nightmare of life as a 1960s housewife.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"sticky":false,"templateType":"standard","featuredImageType":"standard","path":"/arts/13880294/lockdown-movie-musts-1960s-domestic-comedies-a-k-a-horror-films","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Welcome to week eight of \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/tag/lockdown-movie-musts\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Lockdown Movie Musts\u003c/a>! Featuring weird subgenres of yore that’ll make you go, “Hey! Look at that! Women used to be stuck inside \u003cem>permanently\u003c/em>!”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This week, we’re exploring domestic bliss, 1960s-style. We’ve got a marriage movie (1963’s \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0057581/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>The Thrill of it All\u003c/em>\u003c/a>), a divorce movie (1967’s \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0061581/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Divorce, American Style\u003c/em>\u003c/a>) and a movie about people who have absolutely no idea how to use contraception (\u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0063829/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Yours, Mine and Ours\u003c/a>\u003c/em>).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Let’s start with \u003cem>Divorce, American Style\u003c/em>. A caper that exists solely to spread the message that unhappily married people should stay that way, on the grounds that it’s normal to hate your spouse.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Allow me to elaborate.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Barbara (Debbie Reynolds) and Richard Harmon (Dick Van Dyke) are a couple that have drifted apart. Barbara blames this on Richard’s inability to share his feelings. I would attribute it to his tendency to smash plates and yell about being “a house boy” every time he’s asked to move a plate to the kitchen. (\u003cem>Jesus, 1960s men!\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sick of bickering, the two decide to divorce. Before the decree absolute comes through, they both start serious relationships with the first humans of the opposite sex they happen to stumble across. (Not so smart, these two.) Most of the film is filled with gross exaggerations about how much men suffer because of alimony payments, and how complicated it is to date divorcees, what with all their previous spouses and children.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Naturally, the two eventually get back together. (\u003cem>Groan\u003c/em>.)\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/VYvZpikpljg'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/VYvZpikpljg'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Here’s what the reconciliation sounds like:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Richard:\u003c/strong> “The problem is, marriage is work and nobody wants to work.”\u003cbr>\n\u003cstrong>Barbara\u003c/strong>: “The real problem is that line between the sexes. Women are crossing it so much today, it’s being erased… Why resent being the supplier when that’s why you’re in demand in the first place?”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The \u003cem>romance\u003c/em>, amirite?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Divorce, American Style\u003c/em>, however, is a dreamscape compared to Doris Day and James Garner hellride, \u003cem>The Thrill of it All\u003c/em>. This is a movie that straight-faced answers the question: “What would happen if \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phyllis_Schlafly\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Phyllis Schlafly\u003c/a> was married to \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norman_Bates\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Norman Bates\u003c/a> but we wanted to make that seem like a \u003cem>good\u003c/em> thing?”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Prepare to momentarily stop breathing as I tell you the plot to this “romantic” “comedy.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Beverly Boyer (Doris Day) is the happy housewife of an obstetrician named Gerald (James Garner). Beverly is perfectly presented at all times, to the point that she wears coral lipstick and false eyelashes to bed. Beverly and Gerald have somehow managed to conceive two children despite sleeping in twin beds with a table wedged between them. One day, Beverly accidentally lands herself a job as a spokesperson for Happy Soap (by talking about her bratty kids at a dinner party, naturally). Her husband subsequently spends weeks throwing tantrums, withholding affection, gaslighting and eventually pretending to have an affair until she gives up her job to come back to the kitchen.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What a great guy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The happy ending of \u003cem>The Thrill of It All\u003c/em> is a woman giving up a part-time job that pays about half a million dollars a year in 2020 money. Because she’s married to a psychotic man-baby. And, according to this, she apparently likes it.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/40KqQt6j5_c'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/40KqQt6j5_c'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Did I mention this is supposed to be a romantic comedy?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Here’s a “hilarious” snippet of an argument that breaks out when Beverly wants to work:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Gerald:\u003c/strong> “You have your outside interests and hobbies! You have the PTA and you make your own ketchup! You’ve always said being a doctor’s wife was career enough!”\u003cbr>\n\u003cstrong>Beverly \u003c/strong>\u003cem>(rushing over to reassure him)\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>:\u003c/strong> “You know that I would never consciously go out looking for a job, don’t you? But to have something like this just land in my lap. Honey, honey… It’s only once a week and I won’t let anything interfere with my wifely duties, I promise.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>… I just … \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a similar argument later, Beverly shouts “What happened to my rights as a woman?” And Gerald retorts, “They grew and grew until they suffocated my rights as a man!”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>… cannot with these people …\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The following are some other examples of what passes for “romance” and “comedy” in \u003cem>The Thrill of it All\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Gerald complains that Beverly is at the studio too much, she brings the TV cameras to film at their house—so he loses his mind over that too. When she leaves the children with a nanny to go to a work party, he wakes the nanny up, scares her to the point of her quitting, then blames Beverly. When her employers generously build Beverly a swimming pool in the back yard, Gerald fills it with Happy Soap and destroys half the neighborhood. When Beverly is asked for her autograph at a restaurant, Gerald grabs her arm and drags her out the door.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Anyone else feeling hot under the collar from all this sexy, sexy content yet?!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For good measure, there’s also some Marilyn Monroe bullying, a hearty dose of pitting women against each other, and three separate scenes that include the line, “I guess there’s nothing more fulfilling in life than having a baby.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So, yes. \u003cem>The Thrill of It All\u003c/em> is a horror movie.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Which brings us to our third pick, 1968’s \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0063829/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Yours, Mine and Ours\u003c/em>\u003c/a>. I expected to hate this comedy for making light of rampant child production—newlyweds Helen and Frank have 18 children between them. But (\u003cem>gasp\u003c/em>) it’s actually funny! Despite being \u003ca href=\"https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/795370.Who_Gets_the_Drumstick_\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">based on a true story\u003c/a>! (But try not to think about that part…)\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/Hq9Q-0e9mBM'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/Hq9Q-0e9mBM'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Sure, there’s a fat-shaming incident, some draft board normalization (like anybody needed that in ’68) and a scene in which someone says, “The navy, like a woman, has a way of changing its mind.” But all the bad stuff is crammed into the last 30 minutes. The first 90 are a quite a delight. That’s largely thanks to the charm, charisma and comedy chops of both Lucille Ball and Henry Fonda—but honestly, even the kids are good in this thing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But in the end, all three of these movies will, in all likelihood, leave you feeling better about your own domestic situation, even during the additional stresses of sheltering in place. But \u003cem>Yours, Mine and Ours\u003c/em> is the only one that comes with wonderful footage of 1960s San Francisco and Alameda. I’d advise you to start there.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week, stay safe and keep sheltering.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-12127869\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-800x78.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"78\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-400x39.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-768x75.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>For other Lockdown Movie Musts, \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/tag/lockdown-movie-musts\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">see here\u003c/a>. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/arts/13880294/lockdown-movie-musts-1960s-domestic-comedies-a-k-a-horror-films","authors":["11242"],"programs":["arts_140"],"categories":["arts_74"],"tags":["arts_5426","arts_549","arts_10278","arts_10552","arts_10416","arts_585"],"featImg":"arts_13880564","label":"arts_140"},"arts_13879754":{"type":"posts","id":"arts_13879754","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"arts","id":"13879754","score":null,"sort":[1588949973000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"lockdown-movie-musts-1960s-creature-features-but-made-by-british-people","title":"Lockdown Movie Musts: 1960s Creature Features (...But Made By British People)","publishDate":1588949973,"format":"standard","headTitle":"Lockdown Movie Musts: 1960s Creature Features (…But Made By British People) | KQED","labelTerm":{"term":140,"site":"arts"},"content":"\u003cp>Welcome to week seven of \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/tag/lockdown-movie-musts\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Lockdown Movie Musts\u003c/a>! Featuring weird subgenres of yore that’ll make you go, “Hey. At least a 3,000-year-old dude isn’t trying to make out with me right now.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This week, we’re crawling through caves, humping in dungeons and howling at the moon with 1960s creature features! … Only they’re all super low-budget and uncomfortably British, on account of my childhood being both of those things.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That’s right! I have reached that point in shelter-in-place where I’ve started revisiting Childhood Things in order to feel better. And unfortunately for you, I spent a sizable portion of my first decade on the planet watching “Hammer Horrors”—schlocky creature features made by \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hammer_Film_Productions\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Hammer Film Productions\u003c/a> in ’50s, ’60s and ’70s England. Come along for the ride, won’t you? It’s very bumpy and includes some terrible sound effects. Just like the BART tunnel between Embarcadero and West Oakland. (In case the absence of regularly experiencing that is a void you need filling.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Given the time and the place, we might as well start with the movie with the worst bat PR: 1960’s \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0053677/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">The Brides of Dracula\u003c/a>.\u003c/em> At its core, this movie is essentially a manual detailing the worst possible decisions you could ever make as a lone female traveler.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Here are some of the ones that our “heroine” Marianne makes:\u003c/p>\n\u003col>\n\u003cli>Accepting the offer of free room and board from a mysterious old lady who lives in a castle and looks like \u003ca href=\"https://futurama.fandom.com/wiki/Carol_Miller\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">“Mom” from \u003cem>Futurama\u003c/em>\u003c/a>.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Assisting the escape of an imprisoned maniac from the castle, on the grounds that he’s a bit of a hottie.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Leaving her worldly belongings behind at the castle, while she goes off to her new teaching job at the local girls’ school. (Don’t you need clean underwear, Marianne?)\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Agreeing to marry the maniac after 10 minutes of knowing him, even though both “Mom” and a babe from the local village die within 24 hours of him getting out. (Change your underwear, Marianne!)\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Never ever taking any responsibility at all for indirectly causing the deaths of at least three people. (Maybe you don’t deserve clean underwear, Marianne!)\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ol>\n\u003cp>Don’t get me started on Peter Cushing’s Van Helsing, a vampire-hunter who stops chasing vampires the second old ladies stand in the way, or women faint in the vicinity. A “hero” who tells sick women he’s a doctor, despite having zero medical qualifications. A guy who desperately needs a crucifix to do his job, but never carries a spare. (You’ve got, like, eight pockets bro!)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LR8CaOgSSuc\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Best we move swiftly on to 1961’s \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0054777/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_3\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>The Curse of the Werewolf\u003c/em>\u003c/a>. A movie that answers that age-old question: What happens if a “beggar” who’s been in prison for 15 years rapes a mute woman who then gives birth to the resulting infant on Christmas Day? The answer of course is that the child turns into a werewolf who can only be cured by the love of a good woman. (Talk about emotional labor, ladies!)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For some reason, \u003cem>The Curse of the Werewolf\u003c/em> is based in Spain. We know this because all of the very English actors in it are called things like “Pepe” and “Rico” and everyone says the word “señor” a lot. Also, when they go to bars, there is a fair amount of flamenco dancing involved. And you just don’t see that in many pubs in London, so \u003cem>sure\u003c/em>. Spain it is!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3oRjMACFhs8\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You might be surprised to find out then, that \u003cem>The Curse of the Werewolf\u003c/em> lets Spain off easy compared to the variety of nations flagrantly stereotyped in 1964’s \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0057986/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>The Curse of the Mummy’s Tomb\u003c/em>\u003c/a>. This is a film in which French women are unfaithful hussies, the English working classes all call everyone “Guv’na!” and Americans are money-grabbing loudmouths who talk about “sarsaparilla” and (oh, dear God) “cotton pickin’.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Worst of all, 99% of the Middle Eastern characters in this film are played by white dudes and—I cannot complain about this enough—\u003cem>some of them are wearing bronzer\u003c/em>. In case the brownface isn’t enough to convince you that this movie is racist, two of the four black people who appear here play \u003cem>statues\u003c/em>. Actual, guarding-a-tomb, supposed-to-be-marble, statues.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So yeah, \u003cem>The Curse of the Mummy’s Tomb\u003c/em> is even more problematic than all of \u003ca href=\"https://metro.co.uk/2019/09/05/scarlett-johanssons-new-role-hollywoods-problematic-woman-10691922/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Scarlett Johansson’s 2019 interviews\u003c/a> combined—and that is saying \u003cem>a lot\u003c/em>. No one comes out of this thing looking good, but as a vehicle for forgetting about the pandemic and yelling at your TV? Highly effective.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Here are some other things in\u003cem> The Curse of the Mummy’s Tomb \u003c/em>that are worthy of a “WTF?”:\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>Superficial stab wounds that cause instant death.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Hands that can be cut off in one swift motion using teeny-tiny daggers.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Ancient artifacts that are built out of Styrofoam and/or papier mâché.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>The fact that the mummy is bulletproof.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>The fact that the mummy can be immediately stopped if you dangle the right necklace—or lady!—in front of him.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>The fact that the mummy has a penchant for destroying really nice window dressings. (Rude!)\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>The fact that any time anyone says anything dramatic, the whole cast stops and does what Joey from \u003cem>Friends\u003c/em> once memorably called “\u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8c4YhwpiaKU\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Smell the fart acting\u003c/a>.”\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6kv3TDc0-s\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Even 6-year-old me knew these movies were incredibly silly, but I had not realized how much unintentional comedy gold was in them until now. So until next week, stay safer than all of the idiots in these movies, and keep sheltering.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-12127869\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-800x78.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"78\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-400x39.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-768x75.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>For other Lockdown Movie Musts, click \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/tag/lockdown-movie-musts\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">here\u003c/a>. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"This week's mental escape from shelter-in-place comes via a wolfman, a 3,000-year-old mitten-wearing monster, and some Dracula-lovin' ladies. ","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1705020787,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":true,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":17,"wordCount":1046},"headData":{"title":"Lockdown Movie Musts: 1960s Creature Features (...But Made By British People) | KQED","description":"This week's mental escape from shelter-in-place comes via a wolfman, a 3,000-year-old mitten-wearing monster, and some Dracula-lovin' ladies. ","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"sticky":false,"templateType":"standard","featuredImageType":"standard","path":"/arts/13879754/lockdown-movie-musts-1960s-creature-features-but-made-by-british-people","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Welcome to week seven of \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/tag/lockdown-movie-musts\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Lockdown Movie Musts\u003c/a>! Featuring weird subgenres of yore that’ll make you go, “Hey. At least a 3,000-year-old dude isn’t trying to make out with me right now.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This week, we’re crawling through caves, humping in dungeons and howling at the moon with 1960s creature features! … Only they’re all super low-budget and uncomfortably British, on account of my childhood being both of those things.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That’s right! I have reached that point in shelter-in-place where I’ve started revisiting Childhood Things in order to feel better. And unfortunately for you, I spent a sizable portion of my first decade on the planet watching “Hammer Horrors”—schlocky creature features made by \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hammer_Film_Productions\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Hammer Film Productions\u003c/a> in ’50s, ’60s and ’70s England. Come along for the ride, won’t you? It’s very bumpy and includes some terrible sound effects. Just like the BART tunnel between Embarcadero and West Oakland. (In case the absence of regularly experiencing that is a void you need filling.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Given the time and the place, we might as well start with the movie with the worst bat PR: 1960’s \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0053677/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">The Brides of Dracula\u003c/a>.\u003c/em> At its core, this movie is essentially a manual detailing the worst possible decisions you could ever make as a lone female traveler.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Here are some of the ones that our “heroine” Marianne makes:\u003c/p>\n\u003col>\n\u003cli>Accepting the offer of free room and board from a mysterious old lady who lives in a castle and looks like \u003ca href=\"https://futurama.fandom.com/wiki/Carol_Miller\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">“Mom” from \u003cem>Futurama\u003c/em>\u003c/a>.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Assisting the escape of an imprisoned maniac from the castle, on the grounds that he’s a bit of a hottie.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Leaving her worldly belongings behind at the castle, while she goes off to her new teaching job at the local girls’ school. (Don’t you need clean underwear, Marianne?)\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Agreeing to marry the maniac after 10 minutes of knowing him, even though both “Mom” and a babe from the local village die within 24 hours of him getting out. (Change your underwear, Marianne!)\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Never ever taking any responsibility at all for indirectly causing the deaths of at least three people. (Maybe you don’t deserve clean underwear, Marianne!)\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ol>\n\u003cp>Don’t get me started on Peter Cushing’s Van Helsing, a vampire-hunter who stops chasing vampires the second old ladies stand in the way, or women faint in the vicinity. A “hero” who tells sick women he’s a doctor, despite having zero medical qualifications. A guy who desperately needs a crucifix to do his job, but never carries a spare. (You’ve got, like, eight pockets bro!)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/LR8CaOgSSuc'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/LR8CaOgSSuc'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Best we move swiftly on to 1961’s \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0054777/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_3\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>The Curse of the Werewolf\u003c/em>\u003c/a>. A movie that answers that age-old question: What happens if a “beggar” who’s been in prison for 15 years rapes a mute woman who then gives birth to the resulting infant on Christmas Day? The answer of course is that the child turns into a werewolf who can only be cured by the love of a good woman. (Talk about emotional labor, ladies!)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For some reason, \u003cem>The Curse of the Werewolf\u003c/em> is based in Spain. We know this because all of the very English actors in it are called things like “Pepe” and “Rico” and everyone says the word “señor” a lot. Also, when they go to bars, there is a fair amount of flamenco dancing involved. And you just don’t see that in many pubs in London, so \u003cem>sure\u003c/em>. Spain it is!\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/3oRjMACFhs8'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/3oRjMACFhs8'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>You might be surprised to find out then, that \u003cem>The Curse of the Werewolf\u003c/em> lets Spain off easy compared to the variety of nations flagrantly stereotyped in 1964’s \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0057986/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>The Curse of the Mummy’s Tomb\u003c/em>\u003c/a>. This is a film in which French women are unfaithful hussies, the English working classes all call everyone “Guv’na!” and Americans are money-grabbing loudmouths who talk about “sarsaparilla” and (oh, dear God) “cotton pickin’.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Worst of all, 99% of the Middle Eastern characters in this film are played by white dudes and—I cannot complain about this enough—\u003cem>some of them are wearing bronzer\u003c/em>. In case the brownface isn’t enough to convince you that this movie is racist, two of the four black people who appear here play \u003cem>statues\u003c/em>. Actual, guarding-a-tomb, supposed-to-be-marble, statues.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So yeah, \u003cem>The Curse of the Mummy’s Tomb\u003c/em> is even more problematic than all of \u003ca href=\"https://metro.co.uk/2019/09/05/scarlett-johanssons-new-role-hollywoods-problematic-woman-10691922/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Scarlett Johansson’s 2019 interviews\u003c/a> combined—and that is saying \u003cem>a lot\u003c/em>. No one comes out of this thing looking good, but as a vehicle for forgetting about the pandemic and yelling at your TV? Highly effective.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Here are some other things in\u003cem> The Curse of the Mummy’s Tomb \u003c/em>that are worthy of a “WTF?”:\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>Superficial stab wounds that cause instant death.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Hands that can be cut off in one swift motion using teeny-tiny daggers.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Ancient artifacts that are built out of Styrofoam and/or papier mâché.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>The fact that the mummy is bulletproof.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>The fact that the mummy can be immediately stopped if you dangle the right necklace—or lady!—in front of him.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>The fact that the mummy has a penchant for destroying really nice window dressings. (Rude!)\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>The fact that any time anyone says anything dramatic, the whole cast stops and does what Joey from \u003cem>Friends\u003c/em> once memorably called “\u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8c4YhwpiaKU\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Smell the fart acting\u003c/a>.”\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/J6kv3TDc0-s'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/J6kv3TDc0-s'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Even 6-year-old me knew these movies were incredibly silly, but I had not realized how much unintentional comedy gold was in them until now. So until next week, stay safer than all of the idiots in these movies, and keep sheltering.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-12127869\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-800x78.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"78\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-400x39.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-768x75.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>For other Lockdown Movie Musts, click \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/tag/lockdown-movie-musts\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">here\u003c/a>. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/arts/13879754/lockdown-movie-musts-1960s-creature-features-but-made-by-british-people","authors":["11242"],"programs":["arts_140"],"categories":["arts_1","arts_74"],"tags":["arts_5426","arts_10278","arts_10552","arts_10416","arts_585"],"featImg":"arts_13879902","label":"arts_140"},"arts_13879441":{"type":"posts","id":"arts_13879441","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"arts","id":"13879441","score":null,"sort":[1588345240000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"lockdown-movie-musts-1970s-disaster-debacles","title":"Lockdown Movie Musts: 1970s Disaster Debacles","publishDate":1588345240,"format":"standard","headTitle":"Lockdown Movie Musts: 1970s Disaster Debacles | KQED","labelTerm":{"site":"arts"},"content":"\u003cp>Welcome to Week 6 of \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/tag/lockdown-movie-musts\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Lockdown Movie Musts\u003c/a>! Featuring weird subgenres of yore that’ll make you go, “Hey. At least I’m not trapped in a burning building with Charlton Heston right now.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This week, hold onto your pants/a priest/a pilot because we’re diving head first into 1970s disaster movies. I know, I know—it seems counterintuitive to subject yourself to this right now. But \u003cem>trust me\u003c/em>. You’ll not find another genre in which the tenacity of the human spirit shines brighter. Also—someone has to say it—there just is no balm more soothing than watching Much Worse Things happen to (fictional) Other People.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Need examples? Here’s a list of things that happen to characters in 1972’s \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0069113/?ref_=fn_al_tt_5\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>The Poseidon Adventure\u003c/em>\u003c/a> that are way worse than sheltering in place:\u003c/p>\n\u003col>\n\u003cli>Getting crushed by a piano;\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Getting crushed by a giant Christmas tree;\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Falling from a great height into an ornate glass window/a fire/a flooded pipe;\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Taking orders from Gene Hackman;\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Crawling through a hot pipe with Gene Hackman;\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Dying of a heart attack because you saved Gene Hackman.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ol>\n\u003cp>You get the idea.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CP0wV7IvSiI\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Needless to say, if you’re one of the few people who hasn’t already developed a phobia of cruises after witnessing floating coronavirus quarantines, \u003cem>The Poseidon Adventure\u003c/em> should finish the job.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Which brings us to another movie that’s excellent at making you feel just fine about not traveling: 1970’s \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0065377/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Airport\u003c/a>\u003c/em>. This spawned three sequels and 1980’s \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080339/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Airplane!\u003c/em>\u003c/a> parody, starring Leslie Nielsen. (Nielsen, by the by, also played the captain in \u003cem>The Poseidon Adventure\u003c/em>. I’d have mentioned it sooner but he dies after about two minutes, so … y’know.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anyway, \u003cem>Airport\u003c/em> is a movie that’s modern enough to depict airports as the raging, overcrowded hellscapes they still are, but old enough to have a philandering pilot character played (of course!) by Dean Martin. At one point, Martin tries to coerce a flight attendant into sexual activity by saying: “If you take me up to full throttle then throw me into reverse, you could damage my engine.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sorry. Can you hang on a minute?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>*puts fist through wall*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That’s better.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This film is also old enough to present The Time Before Airport Security. There are plots about un-ticketed passengers slipping undetected onto flights; men casually carrying bombs onto planes inside briefcases; and airport employees feeling suspicious about passengers’ bags but being told, “There’s nothing we can do about it on this end.” (If we’re ever allowed in airports again, next time a TSA agent asks me to take my shoes off, I’ll probably kiss them.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PACKbKt8MOw\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the end, \u003cem>Airport\u003c/em> is basically a two-and-a-half-hour time capsule of a) how stupid we used to be, and; b) how tolerant audiences used to be of unnecessarily long movies featuring protracted scenes of snow shoveling.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Talking of which, almost nothing at all happens in the first 50 minutes of 1974’s \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071455/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_2\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Earthquake\u003c/em>\u003c/a>. You don’t really mind though, because instead of snow stuff, you get a variety of fun distractions like Geneviève Bujold’s pink-on-pink-on-pink-on-pink wardrobe and Walter Matthau’s cameo as a drunk. (Though, for some reason, in the credits he’s listed as “Walter Matuschanskayasky.” There’s obviously a joke here, but I can’t seem to find the punchline.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Best of all, there’s Charlton Heston’s ridiculous car, which looks like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-13879446\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2020/04/earthquakeavcmkv_snapshot_000630_20160321_040733-800x338.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"338\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/04/earthquakeavcmkv_snapshot_000630_20160321_040733-800x338.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/04/earthquakeavcmkv_snapshot_000630_20160321_040733-160x68.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/04/earthquakeavcmkv_snapshot_000630_20160321_040733-768x325.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/04/earthquakeavcmkv_snapshot_000630_20160321_040733.jpg 960w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What is it? Where’s the roof? Did a 6-year-old boy design it? Does the orange stripe make it go faster? Regardless of the answers, it tells you everything you need to know about Heston’s character. Whose name is Graff, by the way. (GRAFF.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Earthquake\u003c/em> is a movie in which skyscrapers come with windows that can be broken by delicately nudging office chairs against them, and houses spontaneously explode for no reason. It’s a movie in which, on experiencing an Extremely Bad Earthquake, Charlton Heston still doesn’t put the roof on his car, cops herd civilians into basements, and high-rise office workers—this is my favorite one—pile into the nearest elevator.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So, yes. These people are even dumber than the ground staff in \u003cem>Airport\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_BwX2fEUTo\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>All of which will make you happy to be on the ground, above the water and unimpeded by falling concrete slabs.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week, stay safe and keep sheltering.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-12127869\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-800x78.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"78\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-400x39.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-768x75.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>For other Lockdown Movie Musts, click \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/tag/lockdown-movie-musts\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">here\u003c/a>. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"This week's mental escape from shelter-in-place comes via disastrous journeys on planes, cruise ships and ... whatever the hell Charlton Heston is driving in 'Earthquake.' ","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1705020814,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":true,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":24,"wordCount":820},"headData":{"title":"Lockdown Movie Musts: 1970s Disaster Debacles | KQED","description":"This week's mental escape from shelter-in-place comes via disastrous journeys on planes, cruise ships and ... whatever the hell Charlton Heston is driving in 'Earthquake.' ","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"sticky":false,"templateType":"standard","featuredImageType":"standard","path":"/arts/13879441/lockdown-movie-musts-1970s-disaster-debacles","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Welcome to Week 6 of \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/tag/lockdown-movie-musts\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Lockdown Movie Musts\u003c/a>! Featuring weird subgenres of yore that’ll make you go, “Hey. At least I’m not trapped in a burning building with Charlton Heston right now.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This week, hold onto your pants/a priest/a pilot because we’re diving head first into 1970s disaster movies. I know, I know—it seems counterintuitive to subject yourself to this right now. But \u003cem>trust me\u003c/em>. You’ll not find another genre in which the tenacity of the human spirit shines brighter. Also—someone has to say it—there just is no balm more soothing than watching Much Worse Things happen to (fictional) Other People.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Need examples? Here’s a list of things that happen to characters in 1972’s \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0069113/?ref_=fn_al_tt_5\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>The Poseidon Adventure\u003c/em>\u003c/a> that are way worse than sheltering in place:\u003c/p>\n\u003col>\n\u003cli>Getting crushed by a piano;\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Getting crushed by a giant Christmas tree;\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Falling from a great height into an ornate glass window/a fire/a flooded pipe;\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Taking orders from Gene Hackman;\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Crawling through a hot pipe with Gene Hackman;\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Dying of a heart attack because you saved Gene Hackman.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ol>\n\u003cp>You get the idea.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/CP0wV7IvSiI'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/CP0wV7IvSiI'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Needless to say, if you’re one of the few people who hasn’t already developed a phobia of cruises after witnessing floating coronavirus quarantines, \u003cem>The Poseidon Adventure\u003c/em> should finish the job.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Which brings us to another movie that’s excellent at making you feel just fine about not traveling: 1970’s \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0065377/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Airport\u003c/a>\u003c/em>. This spawned three sequels and 1980’s \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080339/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Airplane!\u003c/em>\u003c/a> parody, starring Leslie Nielsen. (Nielsen, by the by, also played the captain in \u003cem>The Poseidon Adventure\u003c/em>. I’d have mentioned it sooner but he dies after about two minutes, so … y’know.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anyway, \u003cem>Airport\u003c/em> is a movie that’s modern enough to depict airports as the raging, overcrowded hellscapes they still are, but old enough to have a philandering pilot character played (of course!) by Dean Martin. At one point, Martin tries to coerce a flight attendant into sexual activity by saying: “If you take me up to full throttle then throw me into reverse, you could damage my engine.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sorry. Can you hang on a minute?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>*puts fist through wall*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That’s better.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This film is also old enough to present The Time Before Airport Security. There are plots about un-ticketed passengers slipping undetected onto flights; men casually carrying bombs onto planes inside briefcases; and airport employees feeling suspicious about passengers’ bags but being told, “There’s nothing we can do about it on this end.” (If we’re ever allowed in airports again, next time a TSA agent asks me to take my shoes off, I’ll probably kiss them.)\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/PACKbKt8MOw'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/PACKbKt8MOw'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>In the end, \u003cem>Airport\u003c/em> is basically a two-and-a-half-hour time capsule of a) how stupid we used to be, and; b) how tolerant audiences used to be of unnecessarily long movies featuring protracted scenes of snow shoveling.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Talking of which, almost nothing at all happens in the first 50 minutes of 1974’s \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071455/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_2\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Earthquake\u003c/em>\u003c/a>. You don’t really mind though, because instead of snow stuff, you get a variety of fun distractions like Geneviève Bujold’s pink-on-pink-on-pink-on-pink wardrobe and Walter Matthau’s cameo as a drunk. (Though, for some reason, in the credits he’s listed as “Walter Matuschanskayasky.” There’s obviously a joke here, but I can’t seem to find the punchline.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Best of all, there’s Charlton Heston’s ridiculous car, which looks like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-13879446\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2020/04/earthquakeavcmkv_snapshot_000630_20160321_040733-800x338.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"338\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/04/earthquakeavcmkv_snapshot_000630_20160321_040733-800x338.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/04/earthquakeavcmkv_snapshot_000630_20160321_040733-160x68.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/04/earthquakeavcmkv_snapshot_000630_20160321_040733-768x325.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/04/earthquakeavcmkv_snapshot_000630_20160321_040733.jpg 960w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What is it? Where’s the roof? Did a 6-year-old boy design it? Does the orange stripe make it go faster? Regardless of the answers, it tells you everything you need to know about Heston’s character. Whose name is Graff, by the way. (GRAFF.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Earthquake\u003c/em> is a movie in which skyscrapers come with windows that can be broken by delicately nudging office chairs against them, and houses spontaneously explode for no reason. It’s a movie in which, on experiencing an Extremely Bad Earthquake, Charlton Heston still doesn’t put the roof on his car, cops herd civilians into basements, and high-rise office workers—this is my favorite one—pile into the nearest elevator.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So, yes. These people are even dumber than the ground staff in \u003cem>Airport\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/w_BwX2fEUTo'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/w_BwX2fEUTo'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>All of which will make you happy to be on the ground, above the water and unimpeded by falling concrete slabs.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week, stay safe and keep sheltering.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-12127869\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-800x78.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"78\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-400x39.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-768x75.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>For other Lockdown Movie Musts, click \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/tag/lockdown-movie-musts\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">here\u003c/a>. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/arts/13879441/lockdown-movie-musts-1970s-disaster-debacles","authors":["11242"],"categories":["arts_1","arts_74"],"tags":["arts_8530","arts_10278","arts_977","arts_10552","arts_10416","arts_585"],"featImg":"arts_13879629","label":"arts"},"arts_13879052":{"type":"posts","id":"arts_13879052","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"arts","id":"13879052","score":null,"sort":[1587740411000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"lockdown-movie-musts-1950s-b-movies-underwater-monster-edition","title":"Lockdown Movie Musts: 1950s B-Movies, Underwater Monster Edition","publishDate":1587740411,"format":"standard","headTitle":"Lockdown Movie Musts: 1950s B-Movies, Underwater Monster Edition | KQED","labelTerm":{"site":"arts"},"content":"\u003cp>Welcome to week five of \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/tag/lockdown-movie-musts\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Lockdown Movie Musts\u003c/a>! Featuring weird subgenres of yore that’ll take your mind off, well, (*smashes head on wall*) you know…\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This week, we’re creepin’ and crawlin’ through swamps and a surprising amount of radiation to get better acquainted with the underwater creatures of 1950s B-movies. [aside postid='arts_13877955']\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The rational place to start, of course, is with the most famous of them all: 1954’s\u003cem> \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0046876/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Creature From the Black Lagoon\u003c/a>\u003c/em>. It’s a movie that starts with lofty ideas (a depiction of the Big Bang!) and descends quickly into racist nonsense (why do all these indigenous people have hair like \u003ca href=\"http://www.americanmythology.net/gallery?lightbox=image_1x15\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Moe from the \u003cem>Three Stooges\u003c/em>\u003c/a>?). Then come a series of appearances by the aforementioned creature that revolve entirely around his webbed hand. (It reaches out of the water in a claw position! It touches the riverbank in slow motion for no reason! And, faced with the sight of a Moe haircut, it attacks!)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The plot involves a team of explorers who are hanging out in the Amazon investigating a fossilized version of The Webbed Hand that presumably came from the creature’s great-grandad. What follows is a gratuitous amount of scuba diving (presumably because it was only \u003ca href=\"https://blog.padi.com/2014/01/27/jacques-cousteau-the-father-of-scuba-diving/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">invented\u003c/a> 12 years before this movie came out) and human behavior that is increasingly hard to justify.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ariuokNFhSw\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There the creature is, just swimming around, trying to deal with his woeful inability to successfully grab women’s ankles. Meanwhile, the humans are casually tossing cigarette butts into his lagoon and wondering why their repeated attempts to hurt or trap him are making him angry. It’s impossible not to side with the creature on this one. The moral of the story is clear: humans are \u003cem>awful\u003c/em>. [aside postid='arts_13878444']\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>1957’s \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0050147/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Attack of the Crab Monsters\u003c/em>\u003c/a> makes for far less emotional viewing because it makes absolutely no sense. Sure, radiation has made a bunch of giant googly-eyed crabs. And sure, a team of humans wants to investigate. But get this! In this movie—and please bear with me—when a human gets eaten by a crab, the crab then magically absorbs the personality of the human and can suddenly transmit their voice and thoughts. Long-distance, sometimes!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yeah.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At one point, an on-screen botanist tries to make sense of this by saying: “Once they were men, now they are land crabs.” Sure, bro, but what’s with the ghost-in-the-crustacean stuff?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S68QJFheZaw\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Also on the confusing front—and this is definitely a side-note—there is only one woman on the team of explorers here and her eyebrows appear to have been stolen from a ventriloquist’s dummy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Who did this to you, \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0242056/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Pamela Duncan\u003c/a>?\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13879057\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 446px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-13879057\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2020/04/Screen-Shot-2020-04-22-at-12.01.52-AM.png\" alt=\"Martha stressing about her weird eyebrows (probably) in 'Attack of the Crab Monsters.'\" width=\"446\" height=\"301\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/04/Screen-Shot-2020-04-22-at-12.01.52-AM.png 446w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/04/Screen-Shot-2020-04-22-at-12.01.52-AM-160x108.png 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 446px) 100vw, 446px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Martha stressing about her weird eyebrows (probably) in ‘Attack of the Crab Monsters.’\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Anyway, just like those eyebrows, \u003cem>Attack of the Crab Monsters\u003c/em> tries way, way too hard to justify itself. It could learn a thing or two from our next pick, a 1959 movie that answers the question: What would it look like if a man turned into an alligator, but still managed to keep his snazzy, high-waisted, 1950s pants on? It’s \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0052549/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">The Alligator People\u003c/a>\u003c/em>!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It all begins with Joyce, a woman whose husband, Paul, ditches her literally an hour into their honeymoon. She responds to this by going on a cross-country hunt to track him down. (Have some pride, woman! Just get an annulment and put on some \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gl1aHhXnN1k\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Ariana Grande\u003c/a>, already!)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After arriving in the butt crack of Louisiana, Joyce casually jumps into the truck of a man with a hook hand who enjoys running over alligators and saying menacing things about swamps and quicksand.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>(Can we just take a timeout here to talk about the fact that, if you were a child growing up anytime between 1920 and 1990, quicksand was presented in popular culture as a constant, imminent threat. Why don’t we ever hear about quicksand anymore? It used to be freakin’ \u003cem>everywhere\u003c/em>.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After arriving totally unannounced at Paul’s family’s house (rude much, Joyce?), Joyce meets Paul’s mom, who has an accent that can’t make up its mind about whether it wants to be Southern, British or Mrs. Doubtfire. Also, Joyce finds a local doctor who dresses like Colonel Sanders and has been doing dodgy experiments on gravely injured people using radiation and alligator DNA. Turns out—*dun-dun-duuuuun!*—Paul is one of them! And now his face is falling off! Or getting scaley! Or both depending on the makeup that day!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I don’t want to spoil the ending, but \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0307500/?ref_=tt_cl_t1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Beverly Garland\u003c/a> has to do a surprising amount of stunt work with living, snapping alligators, and the alligator-man in the pants is a thing of majestic beauty that you’ll never forget.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-lv3OxnnG4\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week, stay safe and keep sheltering.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-12127869\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-800x78.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"78\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-400x39.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-768x75.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>For other Lockdown Movie Musts, click \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/tag/lockdown-movie-musts\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">here\u003c/a>. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"This week's mental escape from shelter-in-place comes via alligator people, giant crabs and a very famous fish-man. ","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1705020851,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":true,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":21,"wordCount":873},"headData":{"title":"Lockdown Movie Musts: 1950s B-Movies, Underwater Monster Edition | KQED","description":"This week's mental escape from shelter-in-place comes via alligator people, giant crabs and a very famous fish-man. ","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"sticky":false,"templateType":"standard","featuredImageType":"standard","path":"/arts/13879052/lockdown-movie-musts-1950s-b-movies-underwater-monster-edition","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Welcome to week five of \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/tag/lockdown-movie-musts\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Lockdown Movie Musts\u003c/a>! Featuring weird subgenres of yore that’ll take your mind off, well, (*smashes head on wall*) you know…\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This week, we’re creepin’ and crawlin’ through swamps and a surprising amount of radiation to get better acquainted with the underwater creatures of 1950s B-movies. \u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"aside","attributes":{"named":{"postid":"arts_13877955","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The rational place to start, of course, is with the most famous of them all: 1954’s\u003cem> \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0046876/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Creature From the Black Lagoon\u003c/a>\u003c/em>. It’s a movie that starts with lofty ideas (a depiction of the Big Bang!) and descends quickly into racist nonsense (why do all these indigenous people have hair like \u003ca href=\"http://www.americanmythology.net/gallery?lightbox=image_1x15\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Moe from the \u003cem>Three Stooges\u003c/em>\u003c/a>?). Then come a series of appearances by the aforementioned creature that revolve entirely around his webbed hand. (It reaches out of the water in a claw position! It touches the riverbank in slow motion for no reason! And, faced with the sight of a Moe haircut, it attacks!)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The plot involves a team of explorers who are hanging out in the Amazon investigating a fossilized version of The Webbed Hand that presumably came from the creature’s great-grandad. What follows is a gratuitous amount of scuba diving (presumably because it was only \u003ca href=\"https://blog.padi.com/2014/01/27/jacques-cousteau-the-father-of-scuba-diving/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">invented\u003c/a> 12 years before this movie came out) and human behavior that is increasingly hard to justify.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/ariuokNFhSw'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/ariuokNFhSw'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There the creature is, just swimming around, trying to deal with his woeful inability to successfully grab women’s ankles. Meanwhile, the humans are casually tossing cigarette butts into his lagoon and wondering why their repeated attempts to hurt or trap him are making him angry. It’s impossible not to side with the creature on this one. The moral of the story is clear: humans are \u003cem>awful\u003c/em>. \u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"aside","attributes":{"named":{"postid":"arts_13878444","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>1957’s \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0050147/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Attack of the Crab Monsters\u003c/em>\u003c/a> makes for far less emotional viewing because it makes absolutely no sense. Sure, radiation has made a bunch of giant googly-eyed crabs. And sure, a team of humans wants to investigate. But get this! In this movie—and please bear with me—when a human gets eaten by a crab, the crab then magically absorbs the personality of the human and can suddenly transmit their voice and thoughts. Long-distance, sometimes!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yeah.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At one point, an on-screen botanist tries to make sense of this by saying: “Once they were men, now they are land crabs.” Sure, bro, but what’s with the ghost-in-the-crustacean stuff?\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/S68QJFheZaw'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/S68QJFheZaw'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Also on the confusing front—and this is definitely a side-note—there is only one woman on the team of explorers here and her eyebrows appear to have been stolen from a ventriloquist’s dummy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Who did this to you, \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0242056/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Pamela Duncan\u003c/a>?\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13879057\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 446px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-13879057\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2020/04/Screen-Shot-2020-04-22-at-12.01.52-AM.png\" alt=\"Martha stressing about her weird eyebrows (probably) in 'Attack of the Crab Monsters.'\" width=\"446\" height=\"301\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/04/Screen-Shot-2020-04-22-at-12.01.52-AM.png 446w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/04/Screen-Shot-2020-04-22-at-12.01.52-AM-160x108.png 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 446px) 100vw, 446px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Martha stressing about her weird eyebrows (probably) in ‘Attack of the Crab Monsters.’\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Anyway, just like those eyebrows, \u003cem>Attack of the Crab Monsters\u003c/em> tries way, way too hard to justify itself. It could learn a thing or two from our next pick, a 1959 movie that answers the question: What would it look like if a man turned into an alligator, but still managed to keep his snazzy, high-waisted, 1950s pants on? It’s \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0052549/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">The Alligator People\u003c/a>\u003c/em>!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It all begins with Joyce, a woman whose husband, Paul, ditches her literally an hour into their honeymoon. She responds to this by going on a cross-country hunt to track him down. (Have some pride, woman! Just get an annulment and put on some \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gl1aHhXnN1k\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Ariana Grande\u003c/a>, already!)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After arriving in the butt crack of Louisiana, Joyce casually jumps into the truck of a man with a hook hand who enjoys running over alligators and saying menacing things about swamps and quicksand.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>(Can we just take a timeout here to talk about the fact that, if you were a child growing up anytime between 1920 and 1990, quicksand was presented in popular culture as a constant, imminent threat. Why don’t we ever hear about quicksand anymore? It used to be freakin’ \u003cem>everywhere\u003c/em>.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After arriving totally unannounced at Paul’s family’s house (rude much, Joyce?), Joyce meets Paul’s mom, who has an accent that can’t make up its mind about whether it wants to be Southern, British or Mrs. Doubtfire. Also, Joyce finds a local doctor who dresses like Colonel Sanders and has been doing dodgy experiments on gravely injured people using radiation and alligator DNA. Turns out—*dun-dun-duuuuun!*—Paul is one of them! And now his face is falling off! Or getting scaley! Or both depending on the makeup that day!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I don’t want to spoil the ending, but \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0307500/?ref_=tt_cl_t1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Beverly Garland\u003c/a> has to do a surprising amount of stunt work with living, snapping alligators, and the alligator-man in the pants is a thing of majestic beauty that you’ll never forget.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/w-lv3OxnnG4'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/w-lv3OxnnG4'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Until next week, stay safe and keep sheltering.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-12127869\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-800x78.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"78\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-400x39.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-768x75.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>For other Lockdown Movie Musts, click \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/tag/lockdown-movie-musts\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">here\u003c/a>. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/arts/13879052/lockdown-movie-musts-1950s-b-movies-underwater-monster-edition","authors":["11242"],"categories":["arts_1","arts_74","arts_75"],"tags":["arts_10772","arts_977","arts_5087","arts_10552","arts_10416","arts_585"],"featImg":"arts_13879058","label":"arts"},"arts_13878605":{"type":"posts","id":"arts_13878605","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"arts","id":"13878605","score":null,"sort":[1587144505000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"lockdown-movie-musts-1960s-beach-party-preposterousness","title":"Lockdown Movie Musts: 1960s Beach Party Preposterousness","publishDate":1587144505,"format":"standard","headTitle":"Lockdown Movie Musts: 1960s Beach Party Preposterousness | KQED","labelTerm":{"term":140,"site":"arts"},"content":"\u003cp>Welcome to week four of \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/tag/lockdown-movie-musts\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Lockdown Movie Musts\u003c/a>, a series exploring weird subgenres of yore guaranteed to make you feel like you left the house for more than ten minutes!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Remember \u003ca href=\"https://www.cbsnews.com/news/spring-break-party-coronavirus-pandemic-miami-beaches/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">that footage\u003c/a> from a few weeks ago? When that Spring Breaker in Miami told a news crew: “If I get corona, I get corona. At the end of the day, I’m not gonna let it stop me from partying”? This week, I went in search of the source of such stupidity and found 1960’s \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0054469/fullcredits/?ref_=tt_ov_st_sm\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Where The Boys Are\u003c/em>\u003c/a>! This vacation romp has the distinction of being Patient Zero for both the raging popularity of American college students’ spring break vacations (nobody beyond the northeast went on those until this movie came out), \u003cem>and\u003c/em> the beach party movies that infested the rest of the decade. (\u003cem>Where The Boys Are\u003c/em> has an awful lot to answer for…) [aside postid='arts_13877955']\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The college ladies of \u003cem>Where The Boys Are\u003c/em> are a likable bunch, even though they say things like “Girls like me weren’t built to get educated, we were meant to have children!” and “What is he? Queer for hats?” and “No girl enjoys being considered promiscuous, even those who might be!” It speaks to the awesomeness of their swimsuits that they can say all of these things and remain perfectly watchable.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKyZKNNWngo\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The ladies, despite also owning a wide range of excellent dresses, all consistently punch below their weight when it comes to men. There’s George Hamilton in short-shorts who confuses owning a boat for having a personality. There’s a pretentious jazz musician Connie Francis is so eager to impress, she spontaneously breaks into song in the middle of a bar (called the Elbo Room, incidentally). There’s even a literal rapist! (Way to totally go dark, \u003cem>Where the Boys Are\u003c/em>.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then there’s poor, gorgeous Paula Prentiss who puts up with this crap because all men other than this guy (his name is TV) think she’s too tall:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86nYcG-sz0k\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>(Can we bring back swimming tank shows in restaurants when this is all over please?)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Still, the godawful men of \u003cem>Where The Boys Are\u003c/em> seem like dreamboats (except for the rapist, obvi) when lined up next to the douche-lords of 1964’s \u003cem>Bikini Beach\u003c/em>. [aside postid='arts_13877402']\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Frankie Avalon stars here as a raging egomaniac with a chip on his shoulder who’s in romantic competition with a pop sensation named The Potato Bug. The Potato Bug is a snarky composite of all of the Beatles, and is played by (no, really) Frankie Avalon in a wig and glasses. Words cannot express how unfunny it all is, but just imagine \u003cem>Austin Powers\u003c/em> with no jokes and less style and that’s pretty close.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lL0zQklrDL0&t=41s\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Here’s everything you need to know about \u003cem>Bikini Beach\u003c/em>. Everyone runs everywhere all of the time. Frankie’s girl Dee Dee (played by Annette Funicello) wears a weird toupee on top of her regular hair and we’re not supposed to notice. Candy, a woman who only wears outfits with red tassels on them, makes men fall down when she shakes her ass. There’s a biker guy whose whole body freezes when he points at his own head. (I’d rather not get into it…) There’s Don Rickles as a bar/drag strip owner. (I’d rather not get into it…) And there’s a posh older guy with a surfing chimp (I’d definitely rather not get into it…) trying to get the kids off the beach.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Bikini Beach\u003c/em> was the third in a \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beach_party_film\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">(\u003cem>long\u003c/em>) series\u003c/a> of beach party movies starring “Frankie and Annette” and the highest grossing of them all. Which boggles the mind because it is so incredibly dumb, I literally felt my IQ dropping as I watched it. Even an \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lL0zQklrDL0\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">appearance by “Little Stevie Wonder”\u003c/a> couldn’t save this thing. [aside postid='arts_13878444']\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>1966’s \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0060807/fullcredits/?ref_=tt_ov_st_sm\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Out of Sight\u003c/em>\u003c/a> does a much better job of being stupid, thanks to stylistic cues from \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Monkees_(TV_series)\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>The Monkees\u003c/em>\u003c/a> and \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Avengers_(TV_series)\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">The Avengers\u003c/a>\u003c/em>, a plot involving secret agents and a series of bombshell lady-villains (called things like Scuba, Turbo and Wipeout!). There are secret labs and comedy bombs and slapstick violence and bouts of slow motion volleyball. There are death rays and musical torture devices and many scenes of unfiltered young-person-joy. I cannot overstate how much easier it is to watch than \u003cem>Bikini Beach\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Best of all, there are constant gratuitous musical interludes. Why are The Turtles and The Astronauts and The Knickerbockers always just hanging around playing music for these beautiful idiots? Nobody ever says and it really doesn’t matter! \u003cem>Out of Sight\u003c/em> is at its best when music is happening, and if you don’t believe me, let me leave you with this most perfect of moments.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XOBa0Zs0pAw\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Beach party movies: Come for the music, stay for the girls doing dance-karate on the beach.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week, stay safe and keep sheltering.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-12127869\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-800x78.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"78\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-400x39.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-768x75.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>For other Lockdown Movie Musts, click \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/tag/lockdown-movie-musts\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">here\u003c/a>. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"This week, our mental escape from COVID-19 comes in the form of 'Out of Sight,' 'Bikini Beach' and 'Where the Boys Are.'","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1705020881,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":true,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":18,"wordCount":910},"headData":{"title":"Lockdown Movie Musts: 1960s Beach Party Preposterousness | KQED","description":"This week, our mental escape from COVID-19 comes in the form of 'Out of Sight,' 'Bikini Beach' and 'Where the Boys Are.'","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"sticky":false,"templateType":"standard","featuredImageType":"standard","path":"/arts/13878605/lockdown-movie-musts-1960s-beach-party-preposterousness","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Welcome to week four of \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/tag/lockdown-movie-musts\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Lockdown Movie Musts\u003c/a>, a series exploring weird subgenres of yore guaranteed to make you feel like you left the house for more than ten minutes!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Remember \u003ca href=\"https://www.cbsnews.com/news/spring-break-party-coronavirus-pandemic-miami-beaches/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">that footage\u003c/a> from a few weeks ago? When that Spring Breaker in Miami told a news crew: “If I get corona, I get corona. At the end of the day, I’m not gonna let it stop me from partying”? This week, I went in search of the source of such stupidity and found 1960’s \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0054469/fullcredits/?ref_=tt_ov_st_sm\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Where The Boys Are\u003c/em>\u003c/a>! This vacation romp has the distinction of being Patient Zero for both the raging popularity of American college students’ spring break vacations (nobody beyond the northeast went on those until this movie came out), \u003cem>and\u003c/em> the beach party movies that infested the rest of the decade. (\u003cem>Where The Boys Are\u003c/em> has an awful lot to answer for…) \u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"aside","attributes":{"named":{"postid":"arts_13877955","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The college ladies of \u003cem>Where The Boys Are\u003c/em> are a likable bunch, even though they say things like “Girls like me weren’t built to get educated, we were meant to have children!” and “What is he? Queer for hats?” and “No girl enjoys being considered promiscuous, even those who might be!” It speaks to the awesomeness of their swimsuits that they can say all of these things and remain perfectly watchable.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/tKyZKNNWngo'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/tKyZKNNWngo'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>The ladies, despite also owning a wide range of excellent dresses, all consistently punch below their weight when it comes to men. There’s George Hamilton in short-shorts who confuses owning a boat for having a personality. There’s a pretentious jazz musician Connie Francis is so eager to impress, she spontaneously breaks into song in the middle of a bar (called the Elbo Room, incidentally). There’s even a literal rapist! (Way to totally go dark, \u003cem>Where the Boys Are\u003c/em>.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then there’s poor, gorgeous Paula Prentiss who puts up with this crap because all men other than this guy (his name is TV) think she’s too tall:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/86nYcG-sz0k'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/86nYcG-sz0k'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>(Can we bring back swimming tank shows in restaurants when this is all over please?)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Still, the godawful men of \u003cem>Where The Boys Are\u003c/em> seem like dreamboats (except for the rapist, obvi) when lined up next to the douche-lords of 1964’s \u003cem>Bikini Beach\u003c/em>. \u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"aside","attributes":{"named":{"postid":"arts_13877402","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Frankie Avalon stars here as a raging egomaniac with a chip on his shoulder who’s in romantic competition with a pop sensation named The Potato Bug. The Potato Bug is a snarky composite of all of the Beatles, and is played by (no, really) Frankie Avalon in a wig and glasses. Words cannot express how unfunny it all is, but just imagine \u003cem>Austin Powers\u003c/em> with no jokes and less style and that’s pretty close.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/lL0zQklrDL0'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/lL0zQklrDL0'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Here’s everything you need to know about \u003cem>Bikini Beach\u003c/em>. Everyone runs everywhere all of the time. Frankie’s girl Dee Dee (played by Annette Funicello) wears a weird toupee on top of her regular hair and we’re not supposed to notice. Candy, a woman who only wears outfits with red tassels on them, makes men fall down when she shakes her ass. There’s a biker guy whose whole body freezes when he points at his own head. (I’d rather not get into it…) There’s Don Rickles as a bar/drag strip owner. (I’d rather not get into it…) And there’s a posh older guy with a surfing chimp (I’d definitely rather not get into it…) trying to get the kids off the beach.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Bikini Beach\u003c/em> was the third in a \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beach_party_film\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">(\u003cem>long\u003c/em>) series\u003c/a> of beach party movies starring “Frankie and Annette” and the highest grossing of them all. Which boggles the mind because it is so incredibly dumb, I literally felt my IQ dropping as I watched it. Even an \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lL0zQklrDL0\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">appearance by “Little Stevie Wonder”\u003c/a> couldn’t save this thing. \u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"aside","attributes":{"named":{"postid":"arts_13878444","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>1966’s \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0060807/fullcredits/?ref_=tt_ov_st_sm\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Out of Sight\u003c/em>\u003c/a> does a much better job of being stupid, thanks to stylistic cues from \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Monkees_(TV_series)\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>The Monkees\u003c/em>\u003c/a> and \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Avengers_(TV_series)\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">The Avengers\u003c/a>\u003c/em>, a plot involving secret agents and a series of bombshell lady-villains (called things like Scuba, Turbo and Wipeout!). There are secret labs and comedy bombs and slapstick violence and bouts of slow motion volleyball. There are death rays and musical torture devices and many scenes of unfiltered young-person-joy. I cannot overstate how much easier it is to watch than \u003cem>Bikini Beach\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Best of all, there are constant gratuitous musical interludes. Why are The Turtles and The Astronauts and The Knickerbockers always just hanging around playing music for these beautiful idiots? Nobody ever says and it really doesn’t matter! \u003cem>Out of Sight\u003c/em> is at its best when music is happening, and if you don’t believe me, let me leave you with this most perfect of moments.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/XOBa0Zs0pAw'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/XOBa0Zs0pAw'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Beach party movies: Come for the music, stay for the girls doing dance-karate on the beach.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week, stay safe and keep sheltering.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-12127869\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-800x78.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"78\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-400x39.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-768x75.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>For other Lockdown Movie Musts, click \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/tag/lockdown-movie-musts\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">here\u003c/a>. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/arts/13878605/lockdown-movie-musts-1960s-beach-party-preposterousness","authors":["11242"],"programs":["arts_140"],"categories":["arts_1","arts_74","arts_75"],"tags":["arts_10278","arts_10552","arts_10416","arts_585"],"featImg":"arts_13878778","label":"arts_140"},"arts_13878444":{"type":"posts","id":"arts_13878444","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"arts","id":"13878444","score":null,"sort":[1586547541000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"lockdown-movie-musts-the-breakdancing-b-boys-of-1984-edition","title":"Lockdown Movie Musts: The Breakdancing B-Boys of 1984 Edition","publishDate":1586547541,"format":"standard","headTitle":"Lockdown Movie Musts: The Breakdancing B-Boys of 1984 Edition | KQED","labelTerm":{"site":"arts"},"content":"\u003cp>Welcome to week three of \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/tag/lockdown-movie-musts\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Lockdown Movie Musts\u003c/a>! Featuring weird subgenres of yore that’ll take your mind off, well, (*frowns and points out window*) all that out there.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I feel obliged to start this week with a disclaimer. When not living through a global pandemic, the only breakdancing movie ever truly worth watching is 1984’s \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086946/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Beat Street\u003c/em>\u003c/a>. Essentially, it’s \u003cem>Saturday Night Fever\u003c/em> for breakdancing—a story rooted in old school New York grit, poverty and the respite that music, dance and art can provide. [aside postid='arts_13877955']\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Unfortunately—sorry, \u003cem>Beat Street\u003c/em>—we’re almost a month into lockdown at this point. So right now, no one needs to look at the Bronx in winter, or cramped apartments full of sad people, or that many ugly sweaters gathered in one place. (Not even time capsule appearances by Doug E. Fresh, Melle Mel & the Furious Five and DJ Kool Herc can cheer this thing up enough for 2020.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Instead, we’ll be looking at two other breakdance movies released in 1984: \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breakin%27\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Breakin’\u003c/em>\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breakin%27_2:_Electric_Boogaloo\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo\u003c/em>\u003c/a>. Yes, it’s impossible to fathom why one year warranted two \u003cem>Breakin’\u003c/em> movies, but let’s just say I’m grateful for them now. Girls wearing four pairs of leg-warmers at once! Men pairing leisurewear with a surprising number of studded accessories! Los Angeles! Now this is more like it. [aside postid='arts_13877402']\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Breakin’ \u003c/em>is all about a conventional dancer named Kelly, who has one of those almost-mullets that were popular with women in the 1980s. After growing disillusioned with her jazz dance class, Kelly joins forces with street dancers Ozone and Turbo to form a dance crew that defies descriptions \u003cem>and\u003c/em> stereotypes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Aside from that, the plot mostly involves dance-offs, dance routines, dance training montages, dance hangouts, dance classes, dance contests, dance auditions, dance agents, dance teachers and, to break up the content a bit, dancing on Venice Beach. There’s also a flagrant Nike sponsorship that no one talks about, several pre-fame \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgIp4Y5NoZk\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">cameos by Ice-T\u003c/a> and, in the grand finale, Kelly in an outfit that makes her look exactly like \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfdiXBA7f6U\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Gozer from \u003cem>Ghostbusters\u003c/em>\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There’s almost a tiny bit of commentary about class privilege thrown in here but, in the end, the movie realizes that’s not what it’s here for and gives up. Hurray!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Honestly, the most important thing to note about \u003cem>Breakin’\u003c/em> is that the acting is a solid reflection of the fact that dancers were hired for all of the lead roles. What this results in is a lot of awkward, ’70s porn-level acting, followed by dancing instead of sexual activity. There’s no way to accurately convey in words how terrible it is without just showing you an example.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So, here. Please watch in awe what happens after the robotic broom routine is over.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fgxD7igaUk\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Given the obvious lack of substance involved in \u003cem>Breakin’\u003c/em>, it may come as a bit of a surprise to hear that its sequel, \u003cem>Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo,\u003c/em> plays so fast and loose with anything even approaching realism, it makes \u003cem>Breakin’\u003c/em> look like, well, \u003cem>Beat Street\u003c/em>. Which, in turn, makes \u003cem>Beat Street\u003c/em> look like \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dark_Days_(film)\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Dark Days\u003c/em>\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sure, \u003cem>Electric\u003c/em> \u003cem>Boogaloo\u003c/em>‘s plot might be about working-class kids trying to save a community center. And sure, its soundtrack might be almost entirely Ice-T-based, but it’s also a movie that genuinely believes scenes like the one below qualify as tense and edgy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsaA903oxvc&t=11s\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And that’s before we even get to the part where Turbo literally walks up a wall and \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZ93GNHBHsE\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">dances on a ceiling\u003c/a>. Upside down. In front of his girlfriend. Who pulls the same facial expression we might expect if he were just making a sandwich or something. It’s baffling on so many levels, I’m not sure there’s a sensible way to even begin to tackle it. (Lionel Richie \u003cem>did\u003c/em> definitely steal all of this for his 1986 “\u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovo6zwv6DX4\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Dancing on the Ceiling\u003c/a>” video though, so… silver lining?)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anyway, mostly what you get from \u003cem>Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo\u003c/em> is an unfathomable number of “spontaneous” dance scenes in which bystanders (including traffic cops, old ladies, dudes up telephone poles and, at one point, the entire staff of a hospital) drop whatever they’re doing to join Kelly, Ozone and Turbo’s dance train. (I remain shocked that the Village People didn’t show up.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Frankly, in the end, both \u003cem>Breakin’\u003c/em> movies left me with totally unrealistic expectations around what to expect the next time a random group of people all hear music in the street at the same time. Maybe by the time we get outside again, we too will want to throw spontaneous street-dance parties. Best prepare with your own personal poppin’ and lockin’ montage ASAP.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week, stay safe and keep sheltering.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-12127869\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-800x78.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"78\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-400x39.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-768x75.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>For other Lockdown Movie Musts, click \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/tag/lockdown-movie-musts\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">here\u003c/a>. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"The leg warmers, painfully awkward acting and lots—we mean lots—of dance sequences in 'Breakin' are sure to lift your mood.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1705020913,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":true,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":19,"wordCount":875},"headData":{"title":"Lockdown Movie Musts: The Breakdancing B-Boys of 1984 Edition | KQED","description":"The leg warmers, painfully awkward acting and lots—we mean lots—of dance sequences in 'Breakin' are sure to lift your mood.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"sticky":false,"templateType":"standard","featuredImageType":"standard","path":"/arts/13878444/lockdown-movie-musts-the-breakdancing-b-boys-of-1984-edition","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Welcome to week three of \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/tag/lockdown-movie-musts\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Lockdown Movie Musts\u003c/a>! Featuring weird subgenres of yore that’ll take your mind off, well, (*frowns and points out window*) all that out there.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I feel obliged to start this week with a disclaimer. When not living through a global pandemic, the only breakdancing movie ever truly worth watching is 1984’s \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086946/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Beat Street\u003c/em>\u003c/a>. Essentially, it’s \u003cem>Saturday Night Fever\u003c/em> for breakdancing—a story rooted in old school New York grit, poverty and the respite that music, dance and art can provide. \u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"aside","attributes":{"named":{"postid":"arts_13877955","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Unfortunately—sorry, \u003cem>Beat Street\u003c/em>—we’re almost a month into lockdown at this point. So right now, no one needs to look at the Bronx in winter, or cramped apartments full of sad people, or that many ugly sweaters gathered in one place. (Not even time capsule appearances by Doug E. Fresh, Melle Mel & the Furious Five and DJ Kool Herc can cheer this thing up enough for 2020.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Instead, we’ll be looking at two other breakdance movies released in 1984: \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breakin%27\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Breakin’\u003c/em>\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breakin%27_2:_Electric_Boogaloo\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo\u003c/em>\u003c/a>. Yes, it’s impossible to fathom why one year warranted two \u003cem>Breakin’\u003c/em> movies, but let’s just say I’m grateful for them now. Girls wearing four pairs of leg-warmers at once! Men pairing leisurewear with a surprising number of studded accessories! Los Angeles! Now this is more like it. \u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"aside","attributes":{"named":{"postid":"arts_13877402","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Breakin’ \u003c/em>is all about a conventional dancer named Kelly, who has one of those almost-mullets that were popular with women in the 1980s. After growing disillusioned with her jazz dance class, Kelly joins forces with street dancers Ozone and Turbo to form a dance crew that defies descriptions \u003cem>and\u003c/em> stereotypes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Aside from that, the plot mostly involves dance-offs, dance routines, dance training montages, dance hangouts, dance classes, dance contests, dance auditions, dance agents, dance teachers and, to break up the content a bit, dancing on Venice Beach. There’s also a flagrant Nike sponsorship that no one talks about, several pre-fame \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgIp4Y5NoZk\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">cameos by Ice-T\u003c/a> and, in the grand finale, Kelly in an outfit that makes her look exactly like \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfdiXBA7f6U\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Gozer from \u003cem>Ghostbusters\u003c/em>\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There’s almost a tiny bit of commentary about class privilege thrown in here but, in the end, the movie realizes that’s not what it’s here for and gives up. Hurray!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Honestly, the most important thing to note about \u003cem>Breakin’\u003c/em> is that the acting is a solid reflection of the fact that dancers were hired for all of the lead roles. What this results in is a lot of awkward, ’70s porn-level acting, followed by dancing instead of sexual activity. There’s no way to accurately convey in words how terrible it is without just showing you an example.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So, here. Please watch in awe what happens after the robotic broom routine is over.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/_fgxD7igaUk'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/_fgxD7igaUk'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Given the obvious lack of substance involved in \u003cem>Breakin’\u003c/em>, it may come as a bit of a surprise to hear that its sequel, \u003cem>Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo,\u003c/em> plays so fast and loose with anything even approaching realism, it makes \u003cem>Breakin’\u003c/em> look like, well, \u003cem>Beat Street\u003c/em>. Which, in turn, makes \u003cem>Beat Street\u003c/em> look like \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dark_Days_(film)\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Dark Days\u003c/em>\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sure, \u003cem>Electric\u003c/em> \u003cem>Boogaloo\u003c/em>‘s plot might be about working-class kids trying to save a community center. And sure, its soundtrack might be almost entirely Ice-T-based, but it’s also a movie that genuinely believes scenes like the one below qualify as tense and edgy.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/bsaA903oxvc'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/bsaA903oxvc'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>And that’s before we even get to the part where Turbo literally walks up a wall and \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZ93GNHBHsE\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">dances on a ceiling\u003c/a>. Upside down. In front of his girlfriend. Who pulls the same facial expression we might expect if he were just making a sandwich or something. It’s baffling on so many levels, I’m not sure there’s a sensible way to even begin to tackle it. (Lionel Richie \u003cem>did\u003c/em> definitely steal all of this for his 1986 “\u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovo6zwv6DX4\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Dancing on the Ceiling\u003c/a>” video though, so… silver lining?)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anyway, mostly what you get from \u003cem>Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo\u003c/em> is an unfathomable number of “spontaneous” dance scenes in which bystanders (including traffic cops, old ladies, dudes up telephone poles and, at one point, the entire staff of a hospital) drop whatever they’re doing to join Kelly, Ozone and Turbo’s dance train. (I remain shocked that the Village People didn’t show up.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Frankly, in the end, both \u003cem>Breakin’\u003c/em> movies left me with totally unrealistic expectations around what to expect the next time a random group of people all hear music in the street at the same time. Maybe by the time we get outside again, we too will want to throw spontaneous street-dance parties. Best prepare with your own personal poppin’ and lockin’ montage ASAP.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week, stay safe and keep sheltering.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-12127869\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-800x78.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"78\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-400x39.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-768x75.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>For other Lockdown Movie Musts, click \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/tag/lockdown-movie-musts\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">here\u003c/a>. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/arts/13878444/lockdown-movie-musts-the-breakdancing-b-boys-of-1984-edition","authors":["11242"],"categories":["arts_966","arts_74"],"tags":["arts_10493","arts_10655","arts_10659","arts_10656","arts_10552","arts_10416","arts_585"],"featImg":"arts_13878477","label":"arts"},"arts_13877955":{"type":"posts","id":"arts_13877955","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"arts","id":"13877955","score":null,"sort":[1585925880000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"lockdown-movie-musts-1950s-hot-rods-hellcats-and-he-males","title":"Lockdown Movie Musts: 1950s Hot Rods, Hellcats and He-Males","publishDate":1585925880,"format":"standard","headTitle":"Lockdown Movie Musts: 1950s Hot Rods, Hellcats and He-Males | KQED","labelTerm":{"term":140,"site":"arts"},"content":"\u003cp>Welcome to Week Two of \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/tag/lockdown-movie-musts\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Lockdown Movie Musts\u003c/a>! Featuring weird subgenres of yore that’ll take your mind off, well, (*gestures wildly*) all this.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This week, daddy-o, we’re gonna beat feet with the cool cats down to the sock hop for some jivin’ and back seat bingo. That’s right! It’s 1950s teen rebellion movies! And they really do sound like this! [aside postid='arts_13877402']\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Here, for example, is the very first conversation anyone has in 1958’s \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0051741/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Hot Rod Gang\u003c/em>\u003c/a>:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Jake:\u003c/strong> I’m still convinced the half-drive centrifugal blower will get better power drive.\u003cbr>\n\u003cstrong>Girl 1:\u003c/strong> There he goes with that hot rod Esperanto again. Dissect that mechanical genius and I expect you’ll find spark plugs and multiple parts.\u003cbr>\n\u003cstrong>Girl 2:\u003c/strong> And a super-charger instead of a heart. Maybe he’d give me a tumble if I was a drag wagon!\u003cbr>\n\u003cstrong>Johnny:\u003c/strong> He just doesn’t realize your potential horsepower outlet, baby, that’s all.\u003cbr>\n\u003cstrong>Girl 2:\u003c/strong> All it takes is the right fuel mixture and my RPM reacts like crazy!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We’ll get back to these fantastically dressed idiots later.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Let’s start instead, with \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0051725/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>High School Hellcats\u003c/em>\u003c/a>—a high school movie in which no one looks like they’re in high school. This tale concerns Joyce Martin (…pretty sure “Joyce” was 1958’s “Karen”…) who starts at a new school only to get corrupted by a gang of (*checks notes*) hellcats.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What we’re supposed to be worried about in this movie is the fact that the gang likes to drink alcohol, hang out in abandoned buildings, impersonate teachers and wear “slacks.” (You wouldn’t believe how much people talk about slacks in this thing!) Which is all rather confusing when there’s such a long list of things to be genuinely concerned about in \u003cem>High School Hellcats\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Respectful of your time, I compiled a short list.\u003c/p>\n\u003col>\n\u003cli>Joyce’s dad is a sociopath. He talks angrily and often about her “tight sweaters” and lipstick, and when she enters the living room in a perfectly prim petticoat, he literally hits her in the face. Total sociopath.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Joyce’s love interest is a sociopath. He announces that Joyce is his “girl” approximately five minutes after meeting her, yells at her for having plans with other people, and—best of all!—when one of Joyce’s friends dies suddenly, he says she was “asking for it.” Total sociopath.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Everyone at Joyce’s school is a sociopath. In addition to playing party games in which screaming women get groped in the dark, they all abandon the dead body of one of their friends, stay silent about it while she lies undiscovered for a full week, \u003cem>and\u003c/em> lie through their teeth to the police about it! Total sociopaths.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Joyce has a raging eating disorder. She skips breakfast because she’s “watching her figure,” lies to her mother about eating dinner and consumes nothing but coffee with no sugar. (In all fairness, it’s no wonder, given all the sociopaths she’s dealing with…) Won’t somebody notice poor, starving Joyce’s cries for help?\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ol>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjnJQj0Xt8I\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s almost impossible to care about any of the sociopaths in \u003cem>High School Hellcats\u003c/em>, so the rebellious woman at the center of 1959’s \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0052850/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Girls Town\u003c/em>\u003c/a> is a breath of fresh air by comparison.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Silver Morgan (played by Mamie Van Doren) smokes a lot and says things like, “Don’t flip your wig, I’ve got your signal!” and “Go flap your plates!” and, at one particularly baffling point, “Go bingle your bunk!” She refers to the phone as “the Alexander Graham,” and men as “studs,” “daddy-os” and “he-males.” At one point, she puts a potato in one of her stockings and uses it as a weapon.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Silver is ridiculous and awesome in equal measure.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Less awesome is Silver’s 15-year-old sister, Mary Lee, who fails to report it when the adult man who tries to rape her (in a horrifying opening scene I was \u003cem>not\u003c/em> prepared for) falls off a cliff and dies. Silver—despite being busy at the time seductively kissing a boy at a very surreal make-out party by the river—ends up getting the blame and being sent to a Catholic dormitory for girls.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The details of what follows in the rest of the movie really don’t matter much, but just know that there’s a drag race, a private eye, a couple of totally unnecessary musical interludes and, at one point, one girl describing holy water as “plain ordinary water with the hell boiled out of it.” Oh, and the ending is fantastically feminist, which didn’t make me sad.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Word of warning though. \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Anka\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Paul Anka\u003c/a> appears in \u003cem>Girls Town\u003c/em> as a dreamboat all the girls swoon and scream over. (One even tries to kill herself because he’s not her boyfriend.) There is no kind way of saying this, but, dude. Even in 1959, Paul Anka was decidedly \u003cem>not\u003c/em> a dreamboat. Watching everyone fawning over him on screen was super confusing until I looked up who he was in real life.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpzY4YCUZH8\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Similarly confusing to contemporary audiences will be \u003cem>Hot Rod Gang\u003c/em>‘s obsession with Gene Vincent, who appears in the 1958 movie as himself, Gene Vincent. Even the kids in this movie who are supposed to be friends with Gene Vincent refer to him exclusively as “Gene Vincent” in full, lest anyone forget Gene Vincent is in this movie. Gene Vincent, Gene Vincent, Gene Vincent.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The movie is otherwise framed around Johnny, a car racin’ rock ‘n’ roller from a fancy family. One day, Johnny hits a puddle and splashes a fancy man from a different fancy family. That fancy man wants Johnny arrested, but instead accidentally introduces his fancy daughter to Johnny, which prompts the two fancy kids to fall in love. (If you’ve ever wanted to watch a movie about rebels in which no one is an underdog, \u003cem>Hot Rod Gang\u003c/em> is for you!)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then, in an apparent bid to make the movie longer, Johnny dons a fake beard and beret and starts a music career with some help from Gene Vincent. (Did I mention Gene Vincent was in this?) There’s also some swing dancing, two fist fights and a stolen hubcap subplot that’s flimsy at best. We’ll leave you with a scene that combines this movie’s three greatest strengths: gratuitous dancing, self-conscious dialog and, yes, Gene Vincent.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7leK7yitWeE\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>YouTube has a wealth of these ’50s teen flicks available for free. (I just did a random grab bag.) Knock yourselves out, hepcats.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week, stay safe and keep sheltering.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-12127869\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-800x78.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"78\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-400x39.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-768x75.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>For other Lockdown Movie Musts, click \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/tag/lockdown-movie-musts\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">here\u003c/a>. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"This week, daddy-o, we're gonna beat feet with the cool cats down to the sock hop for some jivin', back seat bingo and... unfathomably stupid dialogue.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1705020954,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":true,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":23,"wordCount":1228},"headData":{"title":"Lockdown Movie Musts: 1950s Hot Rods, Hellcats and He-Males | KQED","description":"This week, daddy-o, we're gonna beat feet with the cool cats down to the sock hop for some jivin', back seat bingo and... unfathomably stupid dialogue.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"sticky":false,"templateType":"standard","featuredImageType":"standard","path":"/arts/13877955/lockdown-movie-musts-1950s-hot-rods-hellcats-and-he-males","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Welcome to Week Two of \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/tag/lockdown-movie-musts\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Lockdown Movie Musts\u003c/a>! Featuring weird subgenres of yore that’ll take your mind off, well, (*gestures wildly*) all this.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This week, daddy-o, we’re gonna beat feet with the cool cats down to the sock hop for some jivin’ and back seat bingo. That’s right! It’s 1950s teen rebellion movies! And they really do sound like this! \u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"aside","attributes":{"named":{"postid":"arts_13877402","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Here, for example, is the very first conversation anyone has in 1958’s \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0051741/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Hot Rod Gang\u003c/em>\u003c/a>:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Jake:\u003c/strong> I’m still convinced the half-drive centrifugal blower will get better power drive.\u003cbr>\n\u003cstrong>Girl 1:\u003c/strong> There he goes with that hot rod Esperanto again. Dissect that mechanical genius and I expect you’ll find spark plugs and multiple parts.\u003cbr>\n\u003cstrong>Girl 2:\u003c/strong> And a super-charger instead of a heart. Maybe he’d give me a tumble if I was a drag wagon!\u003cbr>\n\u003cstrong>Johnny:\u003c/strong> He just doesn’t realize your potential horsepower outlet, baby, that’s all.\u003cbr>\n\u003cstrong>Girl 2:\u003c/strong> All it takes is the right fuel mixture and my RPM reacts like crazy!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We’ll get back to these fantastically dressed idiots later.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Let’s start instead, with \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0051725/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>High School Hellcats\u003c/em>\u003c/a>—a high school movie in which no one looks like they’re in high school. This tale concerns Joyce Martin (…pretty sure “Joyce” was 1958’s “Karen”…) who starts at a new school only to get corrupted by a gang of (*checks notes*) hellcats.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What we’re supposed to be worried about in this movie is the fact that the gang likes to drink alcohol, hang out in abandoned buildings, impersonate teachers and wear “slacks.” (You wouldn’t believe how much people talk about slacks in this thing!) Which is all rather confusing when there’s such a long list of things to be genuinely concerned about in \u003cem>High School Hellcats\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Respectful of your time, I compiled a short list.\u003c/p>\n\u003col>\n\u003cli>Joyce’s dad is a sociopath. He talks angrily and often about her “tight sweaters” and lipstick, and when she enters the living room in a perfectly prim petticoat, he literally hits her in the face. Total sociopath.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Joyce’s love interest is a sociopath. He announces that Joyce is his “girl” approximately five minutes after meeting her, yells at her for having plans with other people, and—best of all!—when one of Joyce’s friends dies suddenly, he says she was “asking for it.” Total sociopath.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Everyone at Joyce’s school is a sociopath. In addition to playing party games in which screaming women get groped in the dark, they all abandon the dead body of one of their friends, stay silent about it while she lies undiscovered for a full week, \u003cem>and\u003c/em> lie through their teeth to the police about it! Total sociopaths.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Joyce has a raging eating disorder. She skips breakfast because she’s “watching her figure,” lies to her mother about eating dinner and consumes nothing but coffee with no sugar. (In all fairness, it’s no wonder, given all the sociopaths she’s dealing with…) Won’t somebody notice poor, starving Joyce’s cries for help?\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ol>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/EjnJQj0Xt8I'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/EjnJQj0Xt8I'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>It’s almost impossible to care about any of the sociopaths in \u003cem>High School Hellcats\u003c/em>, so the rebellious woman at the center of 1959’s \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0052850/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Girls Town\u003c/em>\u003c/a> is a breath of fresh air by comparison.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Silver Morgan (played by Mamie Van Doren) smokes a lot and says things like, “Don’t flip your wig, I’ve got your signal!” and “Go flap your plates!” and, at one particularly baffling point, “Go bingle your bunk!” She refers to the phone as “the Alexander Graham,” and men as “studs,” “daddy-os” and “he-males.” At one point, she puts a potato in one of her stockings and uses it as a weapon.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Silver is ridiculous and awesome in equal measure.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Less awesome is Silver’s 15-year-old sister, Mary Lee, who fails to report it when the adult man who tries to rape her (in a horrifying opening scene I was \u003cem>not\u003c/em> prepared for) falls off a cliff and dies. Silver—despite being busy at the time seductively kissing a boy at a very surreal make-out party by the river—ends up getting the blame and being sent to a Catholic dormitory for girls.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The details of what follows in the rest of the movie really don’t matter much, but just know that there’s a drag race, a private eye, a couple of totally unnecessary musical interludes and, at one point, one girl describing holy water as “plain ordinary water with the hell boiled out of it.” Oh, and the ending is fantastically feminist, which didn’t make me sad.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Word of warning though. \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Anka\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Paul Anka\u003c/a> appears in \u003cem>Girls Town\u003c/em> as a dreamboat all the girls swoon and scream over. (One even tries to kill herself because he’s not her boyfriend.) There is no kind way of saying this, but, dude. Even in 1959, Paul Anka was decidedly \u003cem>not\u003c/em> a dreamboat. Watching everyone fawning over him on screen was super confusing until I looked up who he was in real life.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/jpzY4YCUZH8'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/jpzY4YCUZH8'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Similarly confusing to contemporary audiences will be \u003cem>Hot Rod Gang\u003c/em>‘s obsession with Gene Vincent, who appears in the 1958 movie as himself, Gene Vincent. Even the kids in this movie who are supposed to be friends with Gene Vincent refer to him exclusively as “Gene Vincent” in full, lest anyone forget Gene Vincent is in this movie. Gene Vincent, Gene Vincent, Gene Vincent.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The movie is otherwise framed around Johnny, a car racin’ rock ‘n’ roller from a fancy family. One day, Johnny hits a puddle and splashes a fancy man from a different fancy family. That fancy man wants Johnny arrested, but instead accidentally introduces his fancy daughter to Johnny, which prompts the two fancy kids to fall in love. (If you’ve ever wanted to watch a movie about rebels in which no one is an underdog, \u003cem>Hot Rod Gang\u003c/em> is for you!)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then, in an apparent bid to make the movie longer, Johnny dons a fake beard and beret and starts a music career with some help from Gene Vincent. (Did I mention Gene Vincent was in this?) There’s also some swing dancing, two fist fights and a stolen hubcap subplot that’s flimsy at best. We’ll leave you with a scene that combines this movie’s three greatest strengths: gratuitous dancing, self-conscious dialog and, yes, Gene Vincent.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/7leK7yitWeE'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/7leK7yitWeE'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>YouTube has a wealth of these ’50s teen flicks available for free. (I just did a random grab bag.) Knock yourselves out, hepcats.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week, stay safe and keep sheltering.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-12127869\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-800x78.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"78\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-400x39.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-768x75.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>For other Lockdown Movie Musts, click \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/tag/lockdown-movie-musts\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">here\u003c/a>. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/arts/13877955/lockdown-movie-musts-1950s-hot-rods-hellcats-and-he-males","authors":["11242"],"programs":["arts_140"],"categories":["arts_74"],"tags":["arts_10126","arts_11014","arts_977","arts_10552","arts_10416","arts_585"],"featImg":"arts_13878018","label":"arts_140"},"arts_13877402":{"type":"posts","id":"arts_13877402","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"arts","id":"13877402","score":null,"sort":[1585314000000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"lockdown-movie-musts-1970s-roller-disco-movies-no-really","title":"Lockdown Movie Musts: 1970s Roller Disco Movies (No, Really)","publishDate":1585314000,"format":"standard","headTitle":"Lockdown Movie Musts: 1970s Roller Disco Movies (No, Really) | KQED","labelTerm":{"term":140,"site":"arts"},"content":"\u003cp>Picture it: Patrick Swayze in bell bottoms and a leather vest (no shirt, naturally), waving his own belt around like a whip while doing a dance routine on roller skates. He spins on his knees \u003cem>and\u003c/em> butt! He kicks—front, back, side—because he’s a wild man! He even does something approaching jump rope! (You kind of have to see it to comprehend it.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This is but one three-minute scene from 1979’s \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0079912/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Skatetown USA\u003c/em>\u003c/a>—a gift of a movie that forces the viewer to ask “Was this \u003cem>ever\u003c/em> cool?” and “Really though?” repeatedly, throughout.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The movie’s pun-tastic trailer tantalizingly promises that it’s “The greatest story ever rolled.” While I can categorically confirm that this is an outright lie (and also that the film contains a shocking amount of female objectification), it\u003cem> is\u003c/em> almost impossible to have a bad time watching this damn thing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2oOWydfiy-I&list=PLgtTy63SfSacRP7okouXg_VEworQFKn2L\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Allow me to backtrack for a moment. A month ago, if you plopped me down in front of a TV for a few hours, I would more than likely be watching true crime rehashings, documentaries about cults, and post-apocalyptic sci-fi doom in which my favorite characters could die at any moment.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But that was 2020 BC*. (*Before Coronavirus.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Once lockdown kicked in, anxiety and insomnia quickly followed, and I was forced to seek out any and all media that would take my mind off the worldwide nightmare unfolding. (Previously, I would have simply turned to my old pal \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7rO7QMlCh6Q\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Friends\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, but Netflix took that away at the dawn of 2020—a harbinger of doom to start the year, now that I think about it.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So now—I won’t bore you with the steps of exactly how I got here—I’m neck-deep in roller disco movies, and desperate to drag everyone else down into the sequined maelstrom with me. Partly because it’s less awkward than being in here alone, and partly because I genuinely think other people need to see this. (Not in a majestic \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tiVNk6_0GdY\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Planet Earth\u003c/em>\u003c/a> sort of way; more like a monkey smoking cigarettes in the 1930s kinda thing. You know this sort of thing happened, but you don’t truly believe it until you see it for yourself.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anyway! Here’s the plot of \u003cem>Skatetown USA\u003c/em>: People like to roller skate at a roller rink. Two male skaters—Ace, the first bad guy in history to wear a bedazzled pink crop top, and Stan, a good guy who dresses \u003cem>exactly\u003c/em> like Flash Gordon—both want to win a roller skating competition.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That’s it. That’s the whole plot.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sure, there’s some judge blackmail, and some girls, and some Scott Baio business, but the edgiest this movie gets is when a guy dressed as Uncle Sam (stars and stripes, top hat and all) gets light shined in his eyes mid-roller skate routine and falls over. (There is also a game of chicken on motorized roller skates, but I won’t spoil that for you.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Skatetown USA\u003c/em> is absolutely amazing viewing (\u003ca href=\"https://www.dictionary.com/browse/amazing?s=t\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">amazing\u003c/a> in the literal sense of the word) in a time of global crisis. So naturally, after watching it, I immediately turned to its partner in 1979 cinematic crime, \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0079822/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Roller Boogie\u003c/em>\u003c/a>. I initially (foolishly) presumed that it might have a little more substance. Especially since it stars everyone’s favorite \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZazSFEHfg8\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">demon-child, Linda Blair\u003c/a>, in the lead roll. (\u003cem>See what I did there?\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>However, much to my joy, \u003cem>Roller Boogie\u003c/em> is just as gloriously, mind-numbingly stupid as \u003cem>Skatetown USA\u003c/em>. Linda Blair—most famous for shouting “Your mother sucks c–ks in hell” at a priest—here wears special skates that look like they don’t have any laces, along with a series of rad leotards, one of which is white with tassels.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Every single thing that happens in this film is ridiculous. Just watch the opening sequence if you need evidence. (You’ll never look at Venice Beach or dumpster-based make-out sessions the same way again.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0cEF_p8KT8\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>(And yes, since you ask, that \u003cem>is\u003c/em> Cher singing. The song was called “Hell on Wheels” and it peaked at only number 59 on the Billboard charts, despite Cher doing some excellent \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rW_kIlaU41Y\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">roller skating in some excellent cycling shorts\u003c/a> in the video. You’re welcome!)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One of the fun things about \u003cem>Roller Boogie\u003c/em> is that the stakes are even lower than they were in \u003cem>Skatetown USA\u003c/em>—and that’s quite a feat. The plot to \u003cem>Roller Boogie\u003c/em> goes like this: Terry (fancy girl) and Bobby (unfancy boy) want to win a roller skating contest. So they do.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That’s it. That’s the end.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The most tension I felt watching this thing was concern over whether or not Linda Blair could actually roller skate, since I’m fairly sure no one bothered to teach her. Mostly what happens when she’s wearing skates is that she’s either physically dragged along by someone else, or a body double skates from far away, or Bobby picks her up and she just planks all over him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Please do not underestimate how mesmerizing it is to watch Bobby, the stunt double and Linda’s white tassels do all the hard work for Linda. Just look how much she is \u003cem>not\u003c/em> skating here:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzN46y_kS_Y\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It would be remiss, of course, for me to talk about roller skating movies of this period without bringing up the most famous of them all: \u003cem>Xanadu\u003c/em>. \u003cem>Xanadu\u003c/em> is my least favorite of the bunch (despite it featuring a pair of knee-high roller skates) specifically because it has something approaching a plot.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sure, it’s a plot about an Olivia Newton-John-shaped painting coming to life, and an artist dude teaming up with Gene Kelly to open a club, but a plot it unmistakably is. (For some utterly baffling reason, this movie thinks that Club Owner is a nicer job than Artist.) To make matters worse, this movie is packed to the gills with song and dance numbers that make you feel like you ate shrooms. People living inside walls, arguing with God, turning into cartoons—it’s a total nightmare from start to finish.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Don’t get me started on how many of these dance numbers don’t even include roller skates. Just look at this mess:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jG-ElxxSU5E\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the end, it doesn’t matter if you love or hate any of these movies. (I definitely hated \u003cem>Xanadu\u003c/em>.) What matters is that all three have the miraculous ability to take you out of reality for a few hours. And, at this point, that’s even more magical than a shirtless Patrick Swayze at a roller rink.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week, stay safe and keep sheltering.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-12127869\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-800x78.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"78\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-400x39.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-768x75.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>For other Lockdown Movie Musts, click \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/tag/lockdown-movie-musts\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">here\u003c/a>. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Trying to turn your brain off in a life-threatening global crisis? 'Skatetown USA,' 'Roller Boogie' and 'Xanadu' are here to help!","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1705021004,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":true,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":27,"wordCount":1213},"headData":{"title":"Lockdown Movie Musts: 1970s Roller Disco Movies (No, Really) | KQED","description":"Trying to turn your brain off in a life-threatening global crisis? 'Skatetown USA,' 'Roller Boogie' and 'Xanadu' are here to help!","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"sticky":false,"templateType":"standard","featuredImageType":"standard","path":"/arts/13877402/lockdown-movie-musts-1970s-roller-disco-movies-no-really","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Picture it: Patrick Swayze in bell bottoms and a leather vest (no shirt, naturally), waving his own belt around like a whip while doing a dance routine on roller skates. He spins on his knees \u003cem>and\u003c/em> butt! He kicks—front, back, side—because he’s a wild man! He even does something approaching jump rope! (You kind of have to see it to comprehend it.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This is but one three-minute scene from 1979’s \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0079912/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Skatetown USA\u003c/em>\u003c/a>—a gift of a movie that forces the viewer to ask “Was this \u003cem>ever\u003c/em> cool?” and “Really though?” repeatedly, throughout.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The movie’s pun-tastic trailer tantalizingly promises that it’s “The greatest story ever rolled.” While I can categorically confirm that this is an outright lie (and also that the film contains a shocking amount of female objectification), it\u003cem> is\u003c/em> almost impossible to have a bad time watching this damn thing.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/2oOWydfiy-I'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/2oOWydfiy-I'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Allow me to backtrack for a moment. A month ago, if you plopped me down in front of a TV for a few hours, I would more than likely be watching true crime rehashings, documentaries about cults, and post-apocalyptic sci-fi doom in which my favorite characters could die at any moment.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But that was 2020 BC*. (*Before Coronavirus.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Once lockdown kicked in, anxiety and insomnia quickly followed, and I was forced to seek out any and all media that would take my mind off the worldwide nightmare unfolding. (Previously, I would have simply turned to my old pal \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7rO7QMlCh6Q\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Friends\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, but Netflix took that away at the dawn of 2020—a harbinger of doom to start the year, now that I think about it.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So now—I won’t bore you with the steps of exactly how I got here—I’m neck-deep in roller disco movies, and desperate to drag everyone else down into the sequined maelstrom with me. Partly because it’s less awkward than being in here alone, and partly because I genuinely think other people need to see this. (Not in a majestic \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tiVNk6_0GdY\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Planet Earth\u003c/em>\u003c/a> sort of way; more like a monkey smoking cigarettes in the 1930s kinda thing. You know this sort of thing happened, but you don’t truly believe it until you see it for yourself.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anyway! Here’s the plot of \u003cem>Skatetown USA\u003c/em>: People like to roller skate at a roller rink. Two male skaters—Ace, the first bad guy in history to wear a bedazzled pink crop top, and Stan, a good guy who dresses \u003cem>exactly\u003c/em> like Flash Gordon—both want to win a roller skating competition.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That’s it. That’s the whole plot.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sure, there’s some judge blackmail, and some girls, and some Scott Baio business, but the edgiest this movie gets is when a guy dressed as Uncle Sam (stars and stripes, top hat and all) gets light shined in his eyes mid-roller skate routine and falls over. (There is also a game of chicken on motorized roller skates, but I won’t spoil that for you.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Skatetown USA\u003c/em> is absolutely amazing viewing (\u003ca href=\"https://www.dictionary.com/browse/amazing?s=t\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">amazing\u003c/a> in the literal sense of the word) in a time of global crisis. So naturally, after watching it, I immediately turned to its partner in 1979 cinematic crime, \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0079822/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Roller Boogie\u003c/em>\u003c/a>. I initially (foolishly) presumed that it might have a little more substance. Especially since it stars everyone’s favorite \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZazSFEHfg8\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">demon-child, Linda Blair\u003c/a>, in the lead roll. (\u003cem>See what I did there?\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>However, much to my joy, \u003cem>Roller Boogie\u003c/em> is just as gloriously, mind-numbingly stupid as \u003cem>Skatetown USA\u003c/em>. Linda Blair—most famous for shouting “Your mother sucks c–ks in hell” at a priest—here wears special skates that look like they don’t have any laces, along with a series of rad leotards, one of which is white with tassels.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Every single thing that happens in this film is ridiculous. Just watch the opening sequence if you need evidence. (You’ll never look at Venice Beach or dumpster-based make-out sessions the same way again.)\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/b0cEF_p8KT8'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/b0cEF_p8KT8'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>(And yes, since you ask, that \u003cem>is\u003c/em> Cher singing. The song was called “Hell on Wheels” and it peaked at only number 59 on the Billboard charts, despite Cher doing some excellent \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rW_kIlaU41Y\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">roller skating in some excellent cycling shorts\u003c/a> in the video. You’re welcome!)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One of the fun things about \u003cem>Roller Boogie\u003c/em> is that the stakes are even lower than they were in \u003cem>Skatetown USA\u003c/em>—and that’s quite a feat. The plot to \u003cem>Roller Boogie\u003c/em> goes like this: Terry (fancy girl) and Bobby (unfancy boy) want to win a roller skating contest. So they do.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That’s it. That’s the end.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The most tension I felt watching this thing was concern over whether or not Linda Blair could actually roller skate, since I’m fairly sure no one bothered to teach her. Mostly what happens when she’s wearing skates is that she’s either physically dragged along by someone else, or a body double skates from far away, or Bobby picks her up and she just planks all over him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Please do not underestimate how mesmerizing it is to watch Bobby, the stunt double and Linda’s white tassels do all the hard work for Linda. Just look how much she is \u003cem>not\u003c/em> skating here:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/SzN46y_kS_Y'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/SzN46y_kS_Y'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>It would be remiss, of course, for me to talk about roller skating movies of this period without bringing up the most famous of them all: \u003cem>Xanadu\u003c/em>. \u003cem>Xanadu\u003c/em> is my least favorite of the bunch (despite it featuring a pair of knee-high roller skates) specifically because it has something approaching a plot.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sure, it’s a plot about an Olivia Newton-John-shaped painting coming to life, and an artist dude teaming up with Gene Kelly to open a club, but a plot it unmistakably is. (For some utterly baffling reason, this movie thinks that Club Owner is a nicer job than Artist.) To make matters worse, this movie is packed to the gills with song and dance numbers that make you feel like you ate shrooms. People living inside walls, arguing with God, turning into cartoons—it’s a total nightmare from start to finish.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Don’t get me started on how many of these dance numbers don’t even include roller skates. Just look at this mess:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/jG-ElxxSU5E'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/jG-ElxxSU5E'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>In the end, it doesn’t matter if you love or hate any of these movies. (I definitely hated \u003cem>Xanadu\u003c/em>.) What matters is that all three have the miraculous ability to take you out of reality for a few hours. And, at this point, that’s even more magical than a shirtless Patrick Swayze at a roller rink.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week, stay safe and keep sheltering.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-12127869\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-800x78.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"78\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-400x39.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-768x75.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>For other Lockdown Movie Musts, click \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/tag/lockdown-movie-musts\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">here\u003c/a>. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/arts/13877402/lockdown-movie-musts-1970s-roller-disco-movies-no-really","authors":["11242"],"programs":["arts_140"],"categories":["arts_74"],"tags":["arts_8530","arts_977","arts_10552","arts_7679","arts_10416","arts_585"],"featImg":"arts_13877509","label":"arts_140"}},"programsReducer":{"possible":{"id":"possible","title":"Possible","info":"Possible is hosted by entrepreneur Reid Hoffman and writer Aria Finger. Together in Possible, Hoffman and Finger lead enlightening discussions about building a brighter collective future. The show features interviews with visionary guests like Trevor Noah, Sam Altman and Janette Sadik-Khan. Possible paints an optimistic portrait of the world we can create through science, policy, business, art and our shared humanity. It asks: What if everything goes right for once? How can we get there? Each episode also includes a short fiction story generated by advanced AI GPT-4, serving as a thought-provoking springboard to speculate how humanity could leverage technology for good.","airtime":"SUN 2pm","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Possible-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://www.possible.fm/","meta":{"site":"news","source":"Possible"},"link":"/radio/program/possible","subscribe":{"apple":"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/possible/id1677184070","spotify":"https://open.spotify.com/show/730YpdUSNlMyPQwNnyjp4k"}},"1a":{"id":"1a","title":"1A","info":"1A is home to the national conversation. 1A brings on great guests and frames the best debate in ways that make you think, share and engage.","airtime":"MON-THU 11pm-12am","imageSrc":"https://ww2.kqed.org/radio/wp-content/uploads/sites/50/2018/04/1a.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://the1a.org/","meta":{"site":"news","source":"npr"},"link":"/radio/program/1a","subscribe":{"npr":"https://rpb3r.app.goo.gl/RBrW","apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?s=143441&mt=2&id=1188724250&at=11l79Y&ct=nprdirectory","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/radio/1A-p947376/","rss":"https://feeds.npr.org/510316/podcast.xml"}},"all-things-considered":{"id":"all-things-considered","title":"All Things Considered","info":"Every weekday, \u003cem>All Things Considered\u003c/em> hosts Robert Siegel, Audie Cornish, Ari Shapiro, and Kelly McEvers present the program's trademark mix of news, interviews, commentaries, reviews, and offbeat features. 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But is this once sleepy suburb ready for them?","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/American-Suburb-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"/news/series/american-suburb-podcast","meta":{"site":"news","source":"kqed","order":"13"},"link":"/news/series/american-suburb-podcast/","subscribe":{"npr":"https://rpb3r.app.goo.gl/RBrW","apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?mt=2&id=1287748328","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/radio/American-Suburb-p1086805/","rss":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/series/american-suburb-podcast/feed/podcast","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5tZWdhcGhvbmUuZm0vS1FJTkMzMDExODgxNjA5"}},"baycurious":{"id":"baycurious","title":"Bay Curious","tagline":"Exploring the Bay Area, one question at a time","info":"KQED’s new podcast, Bay Curious, gets to the bottom of the mysteries — both profound and peculiar — that give the Bay Area its unique identity. And we’ll do it with your help! You ask the questions. You decide what Bay Curious investigates. And you join us on the journey to find the answers.","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Bay-Curious-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg","imageAlt":"\"KQED Bay Curious","officialWebsiteLink":"/news/series/baycurious","meta":{"site":"news","source":"kqed","order":"4"},"link":"/podcasts/baycurious","subscribe":{"apple":"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bay-curious/id1172473406","npr":"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/500557090/bay-curious","rss":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/category/bay-curious-podcast/feed/podcast","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly93dzIua3FlZC5vcmcvbmV3cy9jYXRlZ29yeS9iYXktY3VyaW91cy1wb2RjYXN0L2ZlZWQvcG9kY2FzdA","stitcher":"https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kqed/bay-curious","spotify":"https://open.spotify.com/show/6O76IdmhixfijmhTZLIJ8k"}},"bbc-world-service":{"id":"bbc-world-service","title":"BBC World Service","info":"The day's top stories from BBC News compiled twice daily in the week, once at weekends.","airtime":"MON-FRI 9pm-10pm, TUE-FRI 1am-2am","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/BBC-World-Service-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/live:bbc_world_service","meta":{"site":"news","source":"BBC World Service"},"link":"/radio/program/bbc-world-service","subscribe":{"apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/global-news-podcast/id135067274?mt=2","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/radio/BBC-World-Service-p455581/","rss":"https://podcasts.files.bbci.co.uk/p02nq0gn.rss"}},"code-switch-life-kit":{"id":"code-switch-life-kit","title":"Code Switch / Life Kit","info":"\u003cem>Code Switch\u003c/em>, which listeners will hear in the first part of the hour, has fearless and much-needed conversations about race. Hosted by journalists of color, the show tackles the subject of race head-on, exploring how it impacts every part of society — from politics and pop culture to history, sports and more.\u003cbr />\u003cbr />\u003cem>Life Kit\u003c/em>, which will be in the second part of the hour, guides you through spaces and feelings no one prepares you for — from finances to mental health, from workplace microaggressions to imposter syndrome, from relationships to parenting. The show features experts with real world experience and shares their knowledge. Because everyone needs a little help being human.\u003cbr />\u003cbr />\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/510312/codeswitch\">\u003cem>Code Switch\u003c/em> offical site and podcast\u003c/a>\u003cbr />\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/lifekit\">\u003cem>Life Kit\u003c/em> offical site and podcast\u003c/a>\u003cbr />","airtime":"SUN 9pm-10pm","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Code-Switch-Life-Kit-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg","meta":{"site":"radio","source":"npr"},"link":"/radio/program/code-switch-life-kit","subscribe":{"apple":"https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/1112190608?mt=2&at=11l79Y&ct=nprdirectory","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnByLm9yZy9yc3MvcG9kY2FzdC5waHA_aWQ9NTEwMzEy","spotify":"https://open.spotify.com/show/3bExJ9JQpkwNhoHvaIIuyV","rss":"https://feeds.npr.org/510312/podcast.xml"}},"commonwealth-club":{"id":"commonwealth-club","title":"Commonwealth Club of California Podcast","info":"The Commonwealth Club of California is the nation's oldest and largest public affairs forum. As a non-partisan forum, The Club brings to the public airwaves diverse viewpoints on important topics. The Club's weekly radio broadcast - the oldest in the U.S., dating back to 1924 - is carried across the nation on public radio stations and is now podcasting. Our website archive features audio of our recent programs, as well as selected speeches from our long and distinguished history. This podcast feed is usually updated twice a week and is always un-edited.","airtime":"THU 10pm, FRI 1am","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Commonwealth-Club-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://www.commonwealthclub.org/podcasts","meta":{"site":"news","source":"Commonwealth Club of California"},"link":"/radio/program/commonwealth-club","subscribe":{"apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/commonwealth-club-of-california-podcast/id976334034?mt=2","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cDovL3d3dy5jb21tb253ZWFsdGhjbHViLm9yZy9hdWRpby9wb2RjYXN0L3dlZWtseS54bWw","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/radio/Commonwealth-Club-of-California-p1060/"}},"considerthis":{"id":"considerthis","title":"Consider This","tagline":"Make sense of the day","info":"Make sense of the day. Every weekday afternoon, Consider This helps you consider the major stories of the day in less than 15 minutes, featuring the reporting and storytelling resources of NPR. 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One of public radio's most popular programs, Fresh Air features intimate conversations with today's biggest luminaries.","airtime":"MON-FRI 7pm-8pm","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Fresh-Air-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://www.npr.org/programs/fresh-air/","meta":{"site":"radio","source":"npr"},"link":"/radio/program/fresh-air","subscribe":{"npr":"https://rpb3r.app.goo.gl/4s8b","apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?s=143441&mt=2&id=214089682&at=11l79Y&ct=nprdirectory","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/radio/Fresh-Air-p17/","rss":"https://feeds.npr.org/381444908/podcast.xml"}},"here-and-now":{"id":"here-and-now","title":"Here & Now","info":"A live production of NPR and WBUR Boston, in collaboration with stations across the country, Here & Now reflects the fluid world of news as it's happening in the middle of the day, with timely, in-depth news, interviews and conversation. 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