And just like that, Sex and the City's legacy got pummeled into the dirt. In December, the reboot no one was sure they even wanted came stomping in, Manolos wobbling, Samantha missing, determined to appear relevant in 2022, no matter the cost. And oh, what a train wreck it has been. The season one finale airs on Feb. 3, but getting through the first nine episodes has been a marathon of cringe. You thought 2010's barrel-scraping Sex and the City 2 movie made you want to crawl under the nearest table? And Just Like That... just arrived, screamed "Hold my beer!" and kicked that table across the room.
Here are the ways it has most failed its audience.
The worst sex scenes in history
Let's just go ahead and assume they had to remove the word "sex" from the show's title because of AJLT's unholy marriage to the kind of physical intimacy that makes you want to never, ever have sex again.
Some examples of unsexy sex we've had to witness in this show:
- Miranda and Che's kitchen finger bang incident, directly juxtaposed with Carrie literally peeing the bed in the next room.
- Miranda attempting to re-live the kitchen finger bang incident via Steve who, despite being great in bed in SATC, has forgotten how to do third base now.
- Lily walking in on her mom (Charlotte) orally pleasuring her dad (Harry) in a scene that also included a shiny, bouncing, fully erect, obviously fake penis. (Ew.)
- Miranda continuing to masturbate while conducting a conversation with her 17-year-old son Brady through the bedroom door. (EW.)
- Brady getting cowgirled by his girlfriend in the same house he shares with his parents. (This one was more upsetting than all of the teen sex scenes in Euphoria, combined.)
Nothing about this show is sexy. Nothing. Even the silver fox Carrie went on a date with in episode seven ended up spewing everywhere. (Really, who can blame him?)
Making it seem like being friends with Black and brown people is hard
SATC was too white and we all know it—and getting Carrie a sassy Black assistant (played by the wonderful Jennifer Hudson) in the first movie didn't move things along much. But watching Carrie, Miranda and Charlotte each simultaneously acquiring A New Black or Brown Friend throughout AJLT has been clunky as hell.