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"disqusTitle": "'Poldark' Season 3 Finale Recap: Look What You Made Me Do",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 3 Finale Recap: Look What You Made Me Do",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/13/poldark-season-3-episode-7-recap-i-wanna-sex-you-up/\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Ross kissed Elizabeth all over her head, Demelza asked for an open relationship, and Jennifer Lawrence randomly hooked up with Gross Goblin. Will Ross get mono from all that smooching? Will Demelza finally blast some Marvin Gaye and get it on with Prison Bestie? Will Jennifer Lawrence explain why in the world she gave her sister's evil husband a lap dance? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the edge of a cliff, Bone Maraca Pirate and Mrs. Pigpen are getting tanked on rum because what else is there to do in 18th-century Cornwall? But something disrupts their day drinking; French ships coming in hot! All the other bored and/or drunk townies pick up their pitchforks and tiki torches (too soon?), vow to start using the term \"freedom fries\" (not too soon), and head to the beach to meet the invasion.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/pitchfork-mob-gif-south-park.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97460\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/pitchfork-mob-gif-south-park.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But no one comes ashore. The French were either spying or just wanted to take a sick Instagram shot of waves crashing on the English shore (no one said getting 100 likes was easy).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/like-instagram-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97459\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/like-instagram-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a different cliffside, Demelza reads a poem from Prison Bestie. It reads:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>Roses are red\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>Violets are blue\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>Please f-ck me.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza is wowed by his frank lyricism. Her adultery likelihood meter goes from 95% to 96%.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On his way back from passing laws in London that make sure poor people can't afford grain during a famine, Malfoy passes Drake's house and sees him minding his own damn business. Malfoy makes a mental note to destroy the little happiness he has left because sociopaths gonna sociopath.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Toe Jam Headquarters, Doc prescribes Morwenna a tincture that will help her deal with her FML existence (it knocks her out cold) and advises Gross Goblin to continue not raping her. Gross Goblin quickly agrees because Jennifer Lawrence has taken off her shoe and is rubbing her foot while staring longingly at him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dear Jennifer Lawrence, I have one thing to say to you:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/07/tyra-rooting-for-you.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-16986\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/07/tyra-rooting-for-you.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"303\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After Doc leaves, Morwenna snores and dreams of toads, while Gross Goblin and J. La have really loud sex in the next room.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/scarlet-ohara-gone-with-the-wind-gagging-upset-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97461\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/scarlet-ohara-gone-with-the-wind-gagging-upset-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In town, Ross has been chosen to lead a neighborhood-watch militia. I can't even pretend to care at this point.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/next-housewives-kenya-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97464\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/next-housewives-kenya-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"278\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Athlete's Foot Locker, Jennifer Lawrence announces that she's pregnant. So it's official. She never wanted revenge for her sister, only to get a piece of that toe-slurping action. Congratulations, J. La, you're officially the worst.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-hate-you-gif-22.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97466\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-hate-you-gif-22.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Drake discovers that someone has destroyed his blacksmith shop and driven off his customers. Geez, let the poor boy sadly hammer hot metal! Demelza realizes Malfoy is most likely behind this and runs to Ross for help. Ross says he has bigger things to worry about and explains that his awesome, gorgeous, cool ex would never allow such a thing to happen anyway. Demelza's facial reaction (and a little something I added) speaks for us all:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97467\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-1020x572.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"359\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-1020x572.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-800x449.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-768x431.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-1920x1077.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-1180x662.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-960x538.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-240x135.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-375x210.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-520x292.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For those keeping track, her extra-marital affair likelihood meter just went up from 96% to 97%.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Toe Fungus Incorporated, Jennifer Lawrence has an idea: she'll get married to a random librarian and they'll pretend Gross Goblin has nothing to do with the baby... for a price. So this was all about money? It would have been so much better if Jennifer Lawrence had been a revenge-obsessed mastermind, but she's just a horny blackmailer. FAIL. The writers trying to effectively utilize this character:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/Funny-Fail-Moments-034.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97468\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/Funny-Fail-Moments-034.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"321\" height=\"354\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the other side of town, Demelza continues to beg Ross to stand up for Drake and all the poor people being trampled by the Malfoys of the world. For once, Ross doesn't feel like it. \"You would have me pontificate and play the hero and make some grand, dramatic gesture. I am not that man, Demelza! I have never been that man!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Hold on a minute, brb. *rewatches the past three seasons of this show* Okay, I'm back. Um, Ross, you are very much the kind of man who loves pontificating and playing the hero. Just admit that you're feeling lazy today.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That night, Malfoy's Slytherin crony burns down Drake's barn. I distinctly hear a horse in distress, but am choosing to ignore the possibility that this dude just murdered Drake's horse for no good reason.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/wpid-wp-1435808733932.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97470\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/wpid-wp-1435808733932.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"420\" height=\"398\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I get enough violence against horses from \u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em>, thank you very much.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because he's a decent person who hasn't yet learned that you can't convince people to stop being pure evil by politely asking, Drake strolls over to Elizabeth's to humbly request that her husband's thugs maybe stop trying to kill him and his livelihood. While Elizabeth is in the middle of saying that Malfoy would never do such a thing, Malfoy storms in, threatens to have Drake physically thrown out, and flat-out admits to terrorizing Cornwall's Nicest Person of the Year. Somehow, Elizabeth is surprised by this.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/use-your-brain-dance-moms-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97471\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/use-your-brain-dance-moms-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside, Drake continues to mind his business in the nicest way possible, when three Slytherin cronies accuse him of trespassing. They proceed to punch, stomp, and almost kick him to death, before dumping his body into a muddy ditch.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/help-somebody-simba.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97473\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/help-somebody-simba.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back on Bunions and Corns Drive, Jennifer Lawrence is still blackmailing Gross Goblin by threatening to write the Bishop about the baby and the mole shaped like a pig's tail on Gross Goblin's butt.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/too-much-information-tmi-chandler-friends-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97474\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/too-much-information-tmi-chandler-friends-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"285\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Morwenna overhears everything and feels bummed that she's not only married to trash, but related to it too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-hate-everyone-pissed-girl-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97475\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-hate-everyone-pissed-girl-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in the muddy ditch, Demelza and Sam find Drake and rush him home. Doc is like, \u003cem>Woah, you almost died... again! \u003c/em>Drake is too nice to say what he's thinking:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/no-shit-sherlock-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97476\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/no-shit-sherlock-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"233\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Drake is also too nice to tell anyone the identities of his almost-murderers. Ughhhh, sometimes when they go low, we don't have to go high, Michelle!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sam agrees with me. He takes a break from memorizing the Bible to run to the bar and incite a riot with the help of Bone Maraca Pirate.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/amen-raven-gif-drag-race.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97477\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/amen-raven-gif-drag-race.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"330\" height=\"248\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Malfoy Manor, Elizabeth finally gets pissed about something Malfoy has done and threatens to end their marriage (this probably just means staying married but not talking to each other that much because it's the 18th century). Being mean to Drake is akin to the high crime of kicking all the puppies. I'm glad Elizabeth can see that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/even-a-broken-clock-is-right-twice-a-day-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97478\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/even-a-broken-clock-is-right-twice-a-day-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Drake's bedside, Mrs. Pigpen grabs Demelza to tell her she has a visitor. When Demelza resists, Mrs. Pigpen sermonizes: \"How oft do the men take a fancy to a woman, and sometimes act on it?\" Preach that Gospel!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-2.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36622\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-2.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"260\" height=\"194\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza declares that, since Ross gave up all thoughts of Elizabeth, she should do the same with Prison Bestie. Mrs. Pigpen, #TeamPrisonBestie co-captain (I'm the other one), replies: \"Did he? You sure?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_n19y4rrbwl1rrx588o1_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38275\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_n19y4rrbwl1rrx588o1_500.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"464\" height=\"328\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Ingrown Toe Nail Lane, Gross Goblin barges into Morwenna's room and demands sex. But he quickly learns that the Old Morwenna can't come to the phone right now. Why? 'Cause she's dead! The new Morwenna has had it. She tells him to get the F out of her room and never come back. When he unbuckles his belt and starts his rape routine, she threatens to murder their child.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/meryl-j-lo-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96487\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/meryl-j-lo-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Someone else who's had it (for the zillionth time): Demelza. She finds Ross and tells him she knows about how he kissed Elizabeth all over her head. \"I'm weary of it. Secret kisses, secret smiles. How many more secrets must there be between us? Keep them, Ross. Keep them all. And I will keep mine.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/02/giphy-3.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-20666\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/02/giphy-3.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"230\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza walks home to find Prison Bestie waiting for her. She's like, \u003cem>Hey, I got your little poem. Let's do this.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/get-it-girl-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97482\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/get-it-girl-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They walk to the beach, where Prison Bestie reveals that, in six months, he will be completely blind. Demelza holds his hand (and the meter ticks up a notch from 97% to 98%).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere, Ross gets a letter informing him that there is a threat in town. He runs off with his little neighborhood watch.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/no-one-cares-hunter-E2-99-A5-35130856-391-331.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-48723\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/no-one-cares-hunter-E2-99-A5-35130856-391-331.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"391\" height=\"331\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back to the good stuff: Prison Bestie explains to Demelza that yes, he technically owes his life to Ross and it would be pretty messed up to sex up his wife, but having an affair would be so cool and poetic! Demelza isn't so sure... until he puts his hand on her collarbone. 99%!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97484\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-1020x572.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"359\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-1020x572.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-800x449.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-768x431.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-1920x1077.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-1180x662.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-960x539.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-240x135.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-375x210.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-520x292.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then he says, \"Shall we grant ourselves to each other, so I may go into the darkness knowing that I once tasted heaven?\" *throws adultery meter out* Not even a real French invasion could stop this seduction at this point.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza takes his hand and leads him into the grass!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-7.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97485\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-7.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"284\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">They lie down!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-2-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97489\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-2-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">They kiss!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-3-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97488 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-3-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">He puts his hand on her knee!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97490\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">She guides it up her skirt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-4-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97487 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-4-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">They get to it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-6-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97486\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-6-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In more snooze-worthy news, Ross and his little militia are awaiting the supposed threat. It turns out to just be Sam and Bone Maraca Pirate's riot. They want to raid Malfoy's grain storage to feed the starving. Despite the fact that this kind of Robin Hood-ing is very much Ross' brand, he threatens to shoot all of his poor friends and vows to defend the interests of the ruling class.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-confused-2-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97494 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-confused-2-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sam is like, \u003cem>Bro, WTF! You love poor people! Let us eat.\u003c/em> Ross warns that they have until the count of 10 to leave.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-confused-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97491\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-confused-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bone Maraca defiantly says, \"Or what?\" Ross' militia load and point their rifles.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-pained-reaction-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97492\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-pained-reaction-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross barks that they leave him no choice. Bone Maraca Pirate starts counting for him because he's a bad ass.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-ears-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97493\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-ears-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"277\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Bone Maraca Pirate gets to 10, Ross has a flashback of the guillotine and pictures all his friends getting shot, so he announces that he still cares about poor people and will run for Parliament at some point to advocate for their right not to starve to death. That's cute and all, but these people are starving \u003cem>right now,\u003c/em> and you just randomly pulled a bunch of guns on them. We're supposed to just forgive and forget that?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-huh-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97497\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-huh-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"290\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Apparently so. Bone Maraca Pirate and the other rioters react like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-okay-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97498\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-okay-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"360\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sidenote:\u003c/strong> Et tu, Doc? You still have firing squad PTSD and now you've joined one? I thought you were better than this. Consider your Horace the Pug petting privileges REVOKED!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97502\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-1020x570.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"358\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-1020x570.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-160x89.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-800x447.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-768x429.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-1920x1073.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-1180x659.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-960x536.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-240x134.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-375x210.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-520x291.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Elizabeth wins an Oscar for Best Actress in a Loveless Marriage by putting on a big show of leaving Malfoy unless he swears on a Bible that he'll never bring up Valentine obviously being her ex's baby. Malfoy sobs and does as she asks. It's pretty awesome to see the twerp cry, but, in this situation, I'm #TeamNobody.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-hate-both-of-you-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97503\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-hate-both-of-you-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"243\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upon returning from almost killing a bunch of his friends, Ross can't find Demelza anywhere. Mrs. Pigpen feels really bad for drunkenly stirring the pot so hard earlier, and tells him Demelza went off with \"a visitor\" and might not come back.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/dorinda-ashamed-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97504\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/dorinda-ashamed-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"232\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While desperately looking for Demelza, Ross instead finds Malfoy, who doesn't waste a moment gloating about how loyal his wife and how promising his government career are. All together now:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/06/giphy.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-27656\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/06/giphy.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"450\" height=\"254\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over on Foot-in-Mouth Avenue, Morwenna hears a knock at the door and opens it to find a bouquet of flowers. She walks outside and says, \"Wherever you are, know that I love you.\" A beat-up Drake, hiding behind the front gate, breaks down. Morwenna does too. I'm not crying, you are!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cry-sob-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97505\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cry-sob-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That night, Ross lies in bed alone, thinking about what a crappy husband he's been and how embarrassing it's going to be when Demelza drags him on her new single:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97510\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-800x812.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"609\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-800x812.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-160x162.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-768x779.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-960x974.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-240x244.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-375x381.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-520x528.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark.jpg 1009w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross' thoughts are interrupted by a returning Demelza.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"I thought you might not return.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"I thought so too. And here I am.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They lie beside each other, both sad and regretful.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Demelza, may I ask...\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"No, Ross. Ask me nothing.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They look at each other through their shared pain. Ross holds her into the night and whatever comes next.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bethenny-cry.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97507\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bethenny-cry.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"260\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bethenny-cry-bottle-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97506\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bethenny-cry-bottle-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"278\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Since the season is over, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Gross Goblin, Malfoy, Slytherin Crony, Jennifer Lawrence. \u003c/strong>I hope their birthday parties get cancelled and they all die. 🙂\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: Sam. \u003c/strong>Congrats to him for finally taking a break from judging people for kissing to do something productive.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Bone Maraca Pirate. \u003c/strong>Now that Agatha's gone, B.M.P. has taken over the role of the delightful smack-talking alcoholic elder. I'm into it.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: Morwenna and Drake. \u003c/strong>Giving them a fake medal is the least I can do for the year they've had. Idea for next season: They stop taking crap from people and go on a \u003cem>Kill Bill\u003c/em>-style revenge rampage.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: \u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>Demelza. \u003c/strong>She finally had enough of being an afterthought / doormat and did something purely for herself for once. I'm sure some of the fandom will judge her harsher than they judged Ross when he cheated (#sexism #patriarchy), but I stand with Demelza.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That’s all, folks! It’s been a pleasure watching along with you this season. Until next year! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or relive all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And, before you go, vote in this poll to determine whether I recap \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> Season 2 or not:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[polldaddy poll=9877696]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/13/poldark-season-3-episode-7-recap-i-wanna-sex-you-up/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: I Wanna Sex You Up\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/05/poldark-season-3-episode-6-recap-you-give-love-a-bad-name/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: You Give Love A Bad Name\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/29/poldark-season-3-episode-5-recap-the-one-that-got-away/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/13/poldark-season-3-episode-7-recap-i-wanna-sex-you-up/\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Ross kissed Elizabeth all over her head, Demelza asked for an open relationship, and Jennifer Lawrence randomly hooked up with Gross Goblin. Will Ross get mono from all that smooching? Will Demelza finally blast some Marvin Gaye and get it on with Prison Bestie? Will Jennifer Lawrence explain why in the world she gave her sister's evil husband a lap dance? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the edge of a cliff, Bone Maraca Pirate and Mrs. Pigpen are getting tanked on rum because what else is there to do in 18th-century Cornwall? But something disrupts their day drinking; French ships coming in hot! All the other bored and/or drunk townies pick up their pitchforks and tiki torches (too soon?), vow to start using the term \"freedom fries\" (not too soon), and head to the beach to meet the invasion.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/pitchfork-mob-gif-south-park.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97460\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/pitchfork-mob-gif-south-park.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But no one comes ashore. The French were either spying or just wanted to take a sick Instagram shot of waves crashing on the English shore (no one said getting 100 likes was easy).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/like-instagram-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97459\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/like-instagram-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a different cliffside, Demelza reads a poem from Prison Bestie. It reads:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>Roses are red\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>Violets are blue\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>Please f-ck me.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza is wowed by his frank lyricism. Her adultery likelihood meter goes from 95% to 96%.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On his way back from passing laws in London that make sure poor people can't afford grain during a famine, Malfoy passes Drake's house and sees him minding his own damn business. Malfoy makes a mental note to destroy the little happiness he has left because sociopaths gonna sociopath.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Toe Jam Headquarters, Doc prescribes Morwenna a tincture that will help her deal with her FML existence (it knocks her out cold) and advises Gross Goblin to continue not raping her. Gross Goblin quickly agrees because Jennifer Lawrence has taken off her shoe and is rubbing her foot while staring longingly at him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dear Jennifer Lawrence, I have one thing to say to you:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/07/tyra-rooting-for-you.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-16986\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/07/tyra-rooting-for-you.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"303\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After Doc leaves, Morwenna snores and dreams of toads, while Gross Goblin and J. La have really loud sex in the next room.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/scarlet-ohara-gone-with-the-wind-gagging-upset-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97461\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/scarlet-ohara-gone-with-the-wind-gagging-upset-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In town, Ross has been chosen to lead a neighborhood-watch militia. I can't even pretend to care at this point.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/next-housewives-kenya-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97464\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/next-housewives-kenya-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"278\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Athlete's Foot Locker, Jennifer Lawrence announces that she's pregnant. So it's official. She never wanted revenge for her sister, only to get a piece of that toe-slurping action. Congratulations, J. La, you're officially the worst.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-hate-you-gif-22.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97466\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-hate-you-gif-22.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Drake discovers that someone has destroyed his blacksmith shop and driven off his customers. Geez, let the poor boy sadly hammer hot metal! Demelza realizes Malfoy is most likely behind this and runs to Ross for help. Ross says he has bigger things to worry about and explains that his awesome, gorgeous, cool ex would never allow such a thing to happen anyway. Demelza's facial reaction (and a little something I added) speaks for us all:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97467\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-1020x572.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"359\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-1020x572.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-800x449.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-768x431.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-1920x1077.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-1180x662.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-960x538.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-240x135.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-375x210.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-520x292.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For those keeping track, her extra-marital affair likelihood meter just went up from 96% to 97%.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Toe Fungus Incorporated, Jennifer Lawrence has an idea: she'll get married to a random librarian and they'll pretend Gross Goblin has nothing to do with the baby... for a price. So this was all about money? It would have been so much better if Jennifer Lawrence had been a revenge-obsessed mastermind, but she's just a horny blackmailer. FAIL. The writers trying to effectively utilize this character:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/Funny-Fail-Moments-034.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97468\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/Funny-Fail-Moments-034.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"321\" height=\"354\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the other side of town, Demelza continues to beg Ross to stand up for Drake and all the poor people being trampled by the Malfoys of the world. For once, Ross doesn't feel like it. \"You would have me pontificate and play the hero and make some grand, dramatic gesture. I am not that man, Demelza! I have never been that man!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Hold on a minute, brb. *rewatches the past three seasons of this show* Okay, I'm back. Um, Ross, you are very much the kind of man who loves pontificating and playing the hero. Just admit that you're feeling lazy today.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That night, Malfoy's Slytherin crony burns down Drake's barn. I distinctly hear a horse in distress, but am choosing to ignore the possibility that this dude just murdered Drake's horse for no good reason.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/wpid-wp-1435808733932.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97470\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/wpid-wp-1435808733932.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"420\" height=\"398\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I get enough violence against horses from \u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em>, thank you very much.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because he's a decent person who hasn't yet learned that you can't convince people to stop being pure evil by politely asking, Drake strolls over to Elizabeth's to humbly request that her husband's thugs maybe stop trying to kill him and his livelihood. While Elizabeth is in the middle of saying that Malfoy would never do such a thing, Malfoy storms in, threatens to have Drake physically thrown out, and flat-out admits to terrorizing Cornwall's Nicest Person of the Year. Somehow, Elizabeth is surprised by this.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/use-your-brain-dance-moms-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97471\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/use-your-brain-dance-moms-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside, Drake continues to mind his business in the nicest way possible, when three Slytherin cronies accuse him of trespassing. They proceed to punch, stomp, and almost kick him to death, before dumping his body into a muddy ditch.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/help-somebody-simba.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97473\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/help-somebody-simba.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back on Bunions and Corns Drive, Jennifer Lawrence is still blackmailing Gross Goblin by threatening to write the Bishop about the baby and the mole shaped like a pig's tail on Gross Goblin's butt.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/too-much-information-tmi-chandler-friends-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97474\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/too-much-information-tmi-chandler-friends-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"285\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Morwenna overhears everything and feels bummed that she's not only married to trash, but related to it too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-hate-everyone-pissed-girl-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97475\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-hate-everyone-pissed-girl-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in the muddy ditch, Demelza and Sam find Drake and rush him home. Doc is like, \u003cem>Woah, you almost died... again! \u003c/em>Drake is too nice to say what he's thinking:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/no-shit-sherlock-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97476\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/no-shit-sherlock-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"233\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Drake is also too nice to tell anyone the identities of his almost-murderers. Ughhhh, sometimes when they go low, we don't have to go high, Michelle!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sam agrees with me. He takes a break from memorizing the Bible to run to the bar and incite a riot with the help of Bone Maraca Pirate.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/amen-raven-gif-drag-race.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97477\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/amen-raven-gif-drag-race.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"330\" height=\"248\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Malfoy Manor, Elizabeth finally gets pissed about something Malfoy has done and threatens to end their marriage (this probably just means staying married but not talking to each other that much because it's the 18th century). Being mean to Drake is akin to the high crime of kicking all the puppies. I'm glad Elizabeth can see that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/even-a-broken-clock-is-right-twice-a-day-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97478\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/even-a-broken-clock-is-right-twice-a-day-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Drake's bedside, Mrs. Pigpen grabs Demelza to tell her she has a visitor. When Demelza resists, Mrs. Pigpen sermonizes: \"How oft do the men take a fancy to a woman, and sometimes act on it?\" Preach that Gospel!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-2.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36622\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-2.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"260\" height=\"194\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza declares that, since Ross gave up all thoughts of Elizabeth, she should do the same with Prison Bestie. Mrs. Pigpen, #TeamPrisonBestie co-captain (I'm the other one), replies: \"Did he? You sure?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_n19y4rrbwl1rrx588o1_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38275\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_n19y4rrbwl1rrx588o1_500.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"464\" height=\"328\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Ingrown Toe Nail Lane, Gross Goblin barges into Morwenna's room and demands sex. But he quickly learns that the Old Morwenna can't come to the phone right now. Why? 'Cause she's dead! The new Morwenna has had it. She tells him to get the F out of her room and never come back. When he unbuckles his belt and starts his rape routine, she threatens to murder their child.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/meryl-j-lo-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96487\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/meryl-j-lo-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Someone else who's had it (for the zillionth time): Demelza. She finds Ross and tells him she knows about how he kissed Elizabeth all over her head. \"I'm weary of it. Secret kisses, secret smiles. How many more secrets must there be between us? Keep them, Ross. Keep them all. And I will keep mine.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/02/giphy-3.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-20666\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/02/giphy-3.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"230\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza walks home to find Prison Bestie waiting for her. She's like, \u003cem>Hey, I got your little poem. Let's do this.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/get-it-girl-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97482\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/get-it-girl-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They walk to the beach, where Prison Bestie reveals that, in six months, he will be completely blind. Demelza holds his hand (and the meter ticks up a notch from 97% to 98%).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere, Ross gets a letter informing him that there is a threat in town. He runs off with his little neighborhood watch.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/no-one-cares-hunter-E2-99-A5-35130856-391-331.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-48723\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/no-one-cares-hunter-E2-99-A5-35130856-391-331.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"391\" height=\"331\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back to the good stuff: Prison Bestie explains to Demelza that yes, he technically owes his life to Ross and it would be pretty messed up to sex up his wife, but having an affair would be so cool and poetic! Demelza isn't so sure... until he puts his hand on her collarbone. 99%!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97484\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-1020x572.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"359\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-1020x572.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-800x449.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-768x431.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-1920x1077.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-1180x662.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-960x539.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-240x135.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-375x210.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-520x292.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then he says, \"Shall we grant ourselves to each other, so I may go into the darkness knowing that I once tasted heaven?\" *throws adultery meter out* Not even a real French invasion could stop this seduction at this point.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza takes his hand and leads him into the grass!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-7.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97485\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-7.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"284\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">They lie down!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-2-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97489\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-2-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">They kiss!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-3-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97488 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-3-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">He puts his hand on her knee!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97490\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">She guides it up her skirt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-4-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97487 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-4-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">They get to it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-6-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97486\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-6-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In more snooze-worthy news, Ross and his little militia are awaiting the supposed threat. It turns out to just be Sam and Bone Maraca Pirate's riot. They want to raid Malfoy's grain storage to feed the starving. Despite the fact that this kind of Robin Hood-ing is very much Ross' brand, he threatens to shoot all of his poor friends and vows to defend the interests of the ruling class.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-confused-2-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97494 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-confused-2-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sam is like, \u003cem>Bro, WTF! You love poor people! Let us eat.\u003c/em> Ross warns that they have until the count of 10 to leave.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-confused-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97491\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-confused-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bone Maraca defiantly says, \"Or what?\" Ross' militia load and point their rifles.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-pained-reaction-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97492\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-pained-reaction-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross barks that they leave him no choice. Bone Maraca Pirate starts counting for him because he's a bad ass.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-ears-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97493\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-ears-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"277\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Bone Maraca Pirate gets to 10, Ross has a flashback of the guillotine and pictures all his friends getting shot, so he announces that he still cares about poor people and will run for Parliament at some point to advocate for their right not to starve to death. That's cute and all, but these people are starving \u003cem>right now,\u003c/em> and you just randomly pulled a bunch of guns on them. We're supposed to just forgive and forget that?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-huh-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97497\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-huh-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"290\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Apparently so. Bone Maraca Pirate and the other rioters react like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-okay-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97498\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-okay-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"360\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sidenote:\u003c/strong> Et tu, Doc? You still have firing squad PTSD and now you've joined one? I thought you were better than this. Consider your Horace the Pug petting privileges REVOKED!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97502\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-1020x570.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"358\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-1020x570.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-160x89.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-800x447.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-768x429.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-1920x1073.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-1180x659.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-960x536.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-240x134.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-375x210.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-520x291.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Elizabeth wins an Oscar for Best Actress in a Loveless Marriage by putting on a big show of leaving Malfoy unless he swears on a Bible that he'll never bring up Valentine obviously being her ex's baby. Malfoy sobs and does as she asks. It's pretty awesome to see the twerp cry, but, in this situation, I'm #TeamNobody.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-hate-both-of-you-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97503\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-hate-both-of-you-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"243\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upon returning from almost killing a bunch of his friends, Ross can't find Demelza anywhere. Mrs. Pigpen feels really bad for drunkenly stirring the pot so hard earlier, and tells him Demelza went off with \"a visitor\" and might not come back.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/dorinda-ashamed-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97504\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/dorinda-ashamed-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"232\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While desperately looking for Demelza, Ross instead finds Malfoy, who doesn't waste a moment gloating about how loyal his wife and how promising his government career are. All together now:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/06/giphy.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-27656\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/06/giphy.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"450\" height=\"254\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over on Foot-in-Mouth Avenue, Morwenna hears a knock at the door and opens it to find a bouquet of flowers. She walks outside and says, \"Wherever you are, know that I love you.\" A beat-up Drake, hiding behind the front gate, breaks down. Morwenna does too. I'm not crying, you are!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cry-sob-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97505\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cry-sob-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That night, Ross lies in bed alone, thinking about what a crappy husband he's been and how embarrassing it's going to be when Demelza drags him on her new single:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97510\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-800x812.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"609\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-800x812.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-160x162.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-768x779.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-960x974.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-240x244.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-375x381.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-520x528.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark.jpg 1009w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross' thoughts are interrupted by a returning Demelza.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"I thought you might not return.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"I thought so too. And here I am.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They lie beside each other, both sad and regretful.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Demelza, may I ask...\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"No, Ross. Ask me nothing.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They look at each other through their shared pain. Ross holds her into the night and whatever comes next.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bethenny-cry.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97507\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bethenny-cry.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"260\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bethenny-cry-bottle-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97506\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bethenny-cry-bottle-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"278\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Since the season is over, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Gross Goblin, Malfoy, Slytherin Crony, Jennifer Lawrence. \u003c/strong>I hope their birthday parties get cancelled and they all die. 🙂\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: Sam. \u003c/strong>Congrats to him for finally taking a break from judging people for kissing to do something productive.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Bone Maraca Pirate. \u003c/strong>Now that Agatha's gone, B.M.P. has taken over the role of the delightful smack-talking alcoholic elder. I'm into it.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: Morwenna and Drake. \u003c/strong>Giving them a fake medal is the least I can do for the year they've had. Idea for next season: They stop taking crap from people and go on a \u003cem>Kill Bill\u003c/em>-style revenge rampage.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: \u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>Demelza. \u003c/strong>She finally had enough of being an afterthought / doormat and did something purely for herself for once. I'm sure some of the fandom will judge her harsher than they judged Ross when he cheated (#sexism #patriarchy), but I stand with Demelza.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That’s all, folks! It’s been a pleasure watching along with you this season. Until next year! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or relive all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And, before you go, vote in this poll to determine whether I recap \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> Season 2 or not:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[polldaddy poll=9877696]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/13/poldark-season-3-episode-7-recap-i-wanna-sex-you-up/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: I Wanna Sex You Up\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/05/poldark-season-3-episode-6-recap-you-give-love-a-bad-name/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: You Give Love A Bad Name\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/29/poldark-season-3-episode-5-recap-the-one-that-got-away/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"info": "What kind of no sabo word is Hyphenación? For us, it’s about living within a hyphenation. Like being a third-gen Mexican-American from the Texas border now living that Bay Area Chicano life. Like Xorje! Each week we bring together a couple of hyphenated Latinos to talk all about personal life choices: family, careers, relationships, belonging … everything is on the table. ",
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"info": "The Political Mind of Jerry Brown brings listeners the wisdom of the former Governor, Mayor, and presidential candidate. Scott Shafer interviewed Brown for more than 40 hours, covering the former governor's life and half-century in the political game – and Brown has some lessons he'd like to share. ",
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"info": "Our flagship program, helmed by Kai Ryssdal, examines what the day in money delivered, through stories, conversations, newsworthy numbers and more. Updated Monday through Friday at about 3:30 p.m. PT.",
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"info": "The MindShift podcast explores the innovations in education that are shaping how kids learn. Hosts Ki Sung and Katrina Schwartz introduce listeners to educators, researchers, parents and students who are developing effective ways to improve how kids learn. We cover topics like how fed-up administrators are developing surprising tactics to deal with classroom disruptions; how listening to podcasts are helping kids develop reading skills; the consequences of overparenting; and why interdisciplinary learning can engage students on all ends of the traditional achievement spectrum. This podcast is part of the MindShift education site, a division of KQED News. KQED is an NPR/PBS member station based in San Francisco. You can also visit the MindShift website for episodes and supplemental blog posts or tweet us \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/MindShiftKQED\">@MindShiftKQED\u003c/a> or visit us at \u003ca href=\"/mindshift\">MindShift.KQED.org\u003c/a>",
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"info": "For decades, the process for how police police themselves has been inconsistent – if not opaque. In some states, like California, these proceedings were completely hidden. After a new police transparency law unsealed scores of internal affairs files, our reporters set out to examine these cases and the shadow world of police discipline. On Our Watch brings listeners into the rooms where officers are questioned and witnesses are interrogated to find out who this system is really protecting. Is it the officers, or the public they've sworn to serve?",
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"politicalbreakdown": {
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"tagline": "Politics from a personal perspective",
"info": "Political Breakdown is a new series that explores the political intersection of California and the nation. Each week hosts Scott Shafer and Marisa Lagos are joined with a new special guest to unpack politics -- with personality — and offer an insider’s glimpse at how politics happens.",
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"possible": {
"id": "possible",
"title": "Possible",
"info": "Possible is hosted by entrepreneur Reid Hoffman and writer Aria Finger. Together in Possible, Hoffman and Finger lead enlightening discussions about building a brighter collective future. The show features interviews with visionary guests like Trevor Noah, Sam Altman and Janette Sadik-Khan. Possible paints an optimistic portrait of the world we can create through science, policy, business, art and our shared humanity. It asks: What if everything goes right for once? How can we get there? Each episode also includes a short fiction story generated by advanced AI GPT-4, serving as a thought-provoking springboard to speculate how humanity could leverage technology for good.",
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"pri-the-world": {
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},
"radiolab": {
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"info": "A two-time Peabody Award-winner, Radiolab is an investigation told through sounds and stories, and centered around one big idea. In the Radiolab world, information sounds like music and science and culture collide. Hosted by Jad Abumrad and Robert Krulwich, the show is designed for listeners who demand skepticism, but appreciate wonder. WNYC Studios is the producer of other leading podcasts including Freakonomics Radio, Death, Sex & Money, On the Media and many more.",
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"reveal": {
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"info": "Created by The Center for Investigative Reporting and PRX, Reveal is public radios first one-hour weekly radio show and podcast dedicated to investigative reporting. Credible, fact based and without a partisan agenda, Reveal combines the power and artistry of driveway moment storytelling with data-rich reporting on critically important issues. The result is stories that inform and inspire, arming our listeners with information to right injustices, hold the powerful accountable and improve lives.Reveal is hosted by Al Letson and showcases the award-winning work of CIR and newsrooms large and small across the nation. In a radio and podcast market crowded with choices, Reveal focuses on important and often surprising stories that illuminate the world for our listeners.",
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},
"rightnowish": {
"id": "rightnowish",
"title": "Rightnowish",
"tagline": "Art is where you find it",
"info": "Rightnowish digs into life in the Bay Area right now… ish. Journalist Pendarvis Harshaw takes us to galleries painted on the sides of liquor stores in West Oakland. We'll dance in warehouses in the Bayview, make smoothies with kids in South Berkeley, and listen to classical music in a 1984 Cutlass Supreme in Richmond. Every week, Pen talks to movers and shakers about how the Bay Area shapes what they create, and how they shape the place we call home.",
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"order": 16
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},
"science-friday": {
"id": "science-friday",
"title": "Science Friday",
"info": "Science Friday is a weekly science talk show, broadcast live over public radio stations nationwide. Each week, the show focuses on science topics that are in the news and tries to bring an educated, balanced discussion to bear on the scientific issues at hand. Panels of expert guests join host Ira Flatow, a veteran science journalist, to discuss science and to take questions from listeners during the call-in portion of the program.",
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},
"snap-judgment": {
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