'Poldark' Season 3 Trailer Promises More Fireworks, Baby Mama Drama, and Shirtless Dudes

Photo: Masterpiece

The five long months since the finale of Poldark's second season have felt like wandering an unforgiving desert, thirsty for water... and more shirtless shots of Aidan Turner scything and mining and, um, other stuff. Well, my fellow parched Poldark fanatics, here's a droplet for you: the trailer for the third season!

I've now watched this 40-second tease more than 12 times. Here's what I've learned about what we can expect when Poldark returns on October 1, 2017:

Ross' awkward haircut has grown out...

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...which means that Demelza won't be able to stay mad at him for any of his betrayals, but what else is new?

Elizabeth is really going through with this whole giving-birth-to-the-spawn-of-satan thing (or is Ross the actual father??). Paging Jerry Springer. Also, according to pregnancy lore, carrying low means it's a boy.

Confirmed: It's a boy! And his name is going to be Valentine. You can't see the baby's face, but I bet he's side-eyeing George so hard.

Agatha is still kicking, and will continue her habit of talking smack about people while pointing a finger right in their faces. Bless her.

New hottie alert! Demelza apparently has a brother that isn't an abusive slob! His name is Drake!

He has all of his teeth!

He bathes in babbling brooks!

The Poldark producers clearly know what their audience wants.

I think this warrants an animated gif replay, don't you?

Some random teen likes what she sees.

It isn't long before they get to whatever base symbolizes Eskimo kissing.

In addition to good looks, good teeth, and good bathing techniques, Drake is also good with children! This is beginning to be too much. Ross who?

Once you think one new young babe is too much to handle, another one pops up, looking like a 19th century Harry Styles.

But back to the old guard. Dwight Enys seems to be in danger! Hasn't he been through enough? The break-up with Caroline, for sure, but also never getting to hang out with Horace the Pug again.

Speaking of Horace's mom, here she is. Can we pan the camera down to her feet to get a glimpse of the real star please?

Woah! Demelza will find a reason to smile? We didn't get any of that last year, thanks to Ross being the worst husband ever, so this is a welcome sight.

Ross will continue to engage in more awkward war stuff...

...and punch dudes in awkward hats. Cool, I guess.

And George is still working on his audition tape for RuPaul's Drag Race.

In case you're unfamiliar with my previous Poldark-related work, his drag person calls herself Hisstina Snakespeare and looks like this:

That's all we get for now. If this short preview wasn't enough Poldark for you, don't distress; you can relive all the show's past glory through my cheeky recaps!

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Poldark Season 3 premieres October 1, 2017 on PBS.

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