Rupaul's Drag Race: Let's Overanalyze the Season 9 Trailer

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Still from RuPaul's Drag Race trailer. Photo: VH1 / Logo
Still from RuPaul's Drag Race trailer. Photo: VH1 / Logo

It's the most wonderful time of the year! No, not the holiday season, but the beginning of a new RuPaul's Drag Race season! The trailer for the show's ninth season dropped this morning, which means it's time to overanalyze all 34 seconds of it through a live blog! Follow me...

0:01 -- We have a premiere date! March 24, 2017! Don't expect to hear from any gays in your life from 8pm to 9pm on that day.

0:02 -- A queen erupts out of a blast of fire and glitter. She looks great, but is wearing green, which avid watchers of the show know spells doom.

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green michelle



0:03 -- The past few months have been filled with so much bad news that it's nice to take a moment every time something good happens. Let these words sink in:

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cry pokemon

0:04 -- RuPaul isn't wearing those ugly oversized hats this season! Yay!

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0:05 -- The contestants are as jazzed about this as I am.

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0:06 -- Someone went through Sailor Neptune's laundry and she's not pleased:

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0:08 -- Drain-the-swamp lily pad realness!

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0:10 -- Surprise! The show is leaving Logo, the marginally-relevant LGBT cable network, for VH1, the not-relevant-since-Behind-the-Music-and-Pop-Up-Video network. That leaves Logo with Golden Girls reruns and not much else. R.I.P.

0:11 -- Looks like Mama Ru is still a huge fan of Season 7 winner Violet.

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And how could you not be after witnessing all of this drag magic?





0:12 -- The show is now on Fridays, which I momentarily got angry about (I have a life, RuPaul!), before remembering that I'm old now and celebrate TGIF by staying home.

0:16 -- This queen tries to eradicate "I'm not here to make friends" from reality TV in favor of this Big Freedia paraphrase: "I didn't come to play; I came to slay." I support it.

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0:17 -- If Cindy McCain and the wink-with-your-tongue-out emoji had a baby drag queen.

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0:18 -- Gays on Tumblr start thirsting in 3, 2, 1...

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0:19 -- If all that incest the royals partake in resulted -- not in a club foot -- but the birth of an evil strawberry.

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0:20 -- The Gay Agenda has infiltrated the Lollipop Guild. Is nothing sacred?!

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0:22 -- A Pearl lookalike contest with a dash of appreciation for Magnolia Crawford's pointy nose contour.

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0:26 -- Known for consistently hosting D-list celebrity judges (hi, LaToya Jackson!), the show appears to have secured a few extra coins from VH1 this year. The producers naturally spent it on booking Lady Gaga because no one has ever stanned themselves to death on television before.

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I don't know about you, but I can't wait to see how this turns out.

see how this rupaul

RuPaul's Drag Race premieres its ninth season on March 24, 2017 at 8pm on VH1.