Sunshine poured through my bedroom window this morning and woke me up. I smiled. Another glorious day. Then I reached for my phone and saw I had 9 unread text messages. This can't be good, I thought. All of them said the same thing: BRANGELINA IS DUNZO. LOVE IS DEAD! followed by all the exasperated, depressed, sweating emojis.
Love is a lie. The era of celebrity couple portmanteaus is over.
There is only one way to process all of this.
Click play on the song below and listen as you slowly scroll down through happier times:
