Miss Cleo, perhaps the most famous late-night TV infomercial psychic in our grand American tradition of late-night TV infomercial psychics, died yesterday, July 26, in Palm Beach, Florida. She was 53 years old, and the cause was cancer, according to a statement from her attorney.
For the unfortunate few who never had the pleasure of flipping through channels on some odd Sunday at 2am in the late '90s and suddenly finding yourself bathed in the psychedelic glow of her candlelight and lilting, sonorous voice -- fake Jamaican accent and all -- you're just going to have to find someone else to answer your love life conundrums. But will they do it with Tarot cards and tough, motherly affection, all for the low price of $4.99 per minute?
For those interested in the official story of the life and times of Miss Cleo (real name: Youree Dell Harris, birthplace: Los Angeles, federal investigation and lawsuit story: here), go ahead and read the New York Times obituary.
If, however, you just want to revel in the fact that a person who communes with spirits beyond our comprehension can never really die, you might enjoy replicating the Miss Cleo experience by using this handy soundboard courtesy of soundboard supercenter Realm of Darkness.
Questioning whether you should go on that weekend trip with the married man? "Don't do it, alright? It would be a bad move." Wondering how you could have just been so callously laid off at work? "Things happen for a reason, don't you agree?"