Greetings, Millennial compatriots, as well as members of other generations with a vested interest in identifying and tracking which products and services Millennials are most likely to use!
As I've written previously, June was a difficult month to be a human being, let alone a young human being. Nerves are raw. World markets are in a state of tumult.
It's cold comfort, to be sure, but if you're looking for one thing you can count on to stay the same, rest assured that no matter what was happening to Millennials in the actual world these past few weeks, the internet's preference for clickable, digestible, easily mockable info-tainment masquerading as scientific study will always prevail. Sure, there were a few stories about how Millennials felt following the Brexit vote, but. But on the whole, understandable reactions to complex socio-political crises aren't marketable, silly! (Yet. If you have a business idea, let's talk.)
Without further ado, then: In June 2016, we learned that Millennials are...

Really bad at opening jars. A study of Americans ages 20 to 34 showed than men under 30 have weaker "hand grips" and "lateral pinch" than the same age group did in 1985; same with women 20 to 24. "Work patterns have changed dramatically since 1985, when the first norms were established ... as a society, we're no longer agricultural or manufacturing," explains Elizabeth Fain, the study's lead author, who probably has also never lifted a shovel in her life, I mean come on. "What we're doing more now is technology-related, especially for millennials." (Said study was published online by the Journal of Hand Therapy, which is a great little rag to know about if there's an occupational therapist in your life who's just so hard to shop for!)

In need of management. Millennial management. Forbes has really emerged as a leader when it comes to stories that treat young people as a sort of pitiful-but-endearing foreign species, and this piece on how to manage Millennials in an office environment continues that trend beautifully. According to Millennial expert and management expert and Millennial management expert Victor Lipman, here are some things supervisors of Millennials should do, which are clearly very different from things supervisors of regular people should do: "Listen," "coach," and "provide feedback." Omg bae, totes!