Hey, can I borrow $4.15 million? I left my trust fund in a past lifetime. You see, I need the cash because the 1883 Victorian that served as the exterior for the Full House home is up for sale. It's a piece of television history (and my childhood) and I kind of need to live in it.
I'm going to take your silence as a hard pass on lending me millions so I'll settle for taking a photo tour:
There she is! A fresh new coat of paint and a tree that's really grown since the first season of Full House. Way to reach for the stars, tree!
SFGate says, "The home's off-white exterior that appeared in 'Full House' has been painted a dark purple and the famous red door is gone, but anyone would probably agree the richer paint color looks far more elegant." Nope. Anyone would probably not agree. #JusticefortheRedDoor!
Okay, fine, the doors are "elegant." Nostalgia has a tendency to get me riled up.
Wow. This is definitely...a look. Potato sack chic.
A little stuffy for Netflix and Chill, but it'll do.
No butt shall be left chairless! Also, what exactly is going on in that painting? Umbilical cord drama?
Ohhh, okay, this is where the Netflix and Chill goes down. Got it.
Hanging framed paintings in front of books is an interesting choice.
Huge sink means you can wait even longer to wash your dishes. Oh, who am I kidding, that's what the dishwasher or maid is for. And I spy with my little eye a fully-stocked wine cellar. Let the generous pours wash over us all!
Put your shoes on while sitting on this love seat at the foot of the bed...
...or put your shoes on while sitting in front of the bedroom fireplace. Up to you. Being filthy rich is all about meaningless, endless options.
Woah! Mallard-obsessed Bunny from Sex and the City strikes again!
If I'm handing over $4.15 million, the least the former owner could do is leave the tension rod behind for my dirty shower curtain. Geez.
Every mansion needs a useless room no one wants to hang out in.
Ahh, a little slice of Versailles, minus all the riff raff.
A perfect place to erect a statue of yourself or your accountant.