30 Safe Conversation Topics For Your Thanksgiving Dinner

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This article is more than 7 years old.
Keep the convo to cute kids, weather, traffic, and dogs -- guests will be yawning and stretching faster than you can say "Benghazi."

Ah, the holidays. Nothing brings out that feeling of family togetherness quite like listening to your racist Uncle Ted, five beers deep, expounding on the brilliance of Donald Trump's proposed immigration policies while your vegan cousin sits miserably pushing butter-laced mashed potatoes around her plate, just hoping no one asks her to explain what "genderqueer" means again.

Considering the maelstrom of hurt feelings and hurled silverware that can result from bringing politics or religion into a large family dinner setting, we here at KQED Pop thought it might be nice to provide readers with a cheat sheet of alternative discussion topics.

Feel free to print this out and bring it along to your own family dinner -- or hell, make copies and tuck one beside each attendee's napkin. You might just become the most popular dinner guest of all time.

  1. Star Wars
  2. Aziz Ansari
  3. The weather
  4. Pets
  5. Cute videos of pets (yours or anonymous internet-famous ones)
  6. Interior decoration
  7. Coffee, and the particulars of which brands and styles everyone likes
  8. "Antiques Roadshow"
  9. Rachael Ray
  10. Pharrell
  11. Muppets
  12. Candy Crush
  13. Emojis
  14. An emoji being Oxford Dictionaries' "word of the year"
  15. Stephen Curry
  16. Riley Curry
  17. Adele
  18. The yardwork/garden situation, if any, at the home you're currently dining in
  19. What any present school-age children are studying in school
  20. Traffic/road conditions
  21. Ira Glass and/or This American Life
  22. Redwood trees
  23. Minor health problems
  24. Insoles
  25. Any cute kid anyone saw doing anything on Ellen 
  26. The Peanuts Movie
  27. The old days
  28. Ornette Coleman
  29. The food you're currently eating
  30. Family members who aren't there