Holy Nostalgia, Batman: All Your Favorite ‘90s Nickelodeon Shows Are Back On 'The Splat'

The perennially underrated 'Aaahh!! Real Monsters' is among the shows returning to the tubes Oct. 5.

Nostalgia is a powerful drug, as we've previously discussed in this space -- and, as any child of the ‘90s who has been compelled by some unseen force to click on literally any Buzzfeed-like list of "things only children of the ‘90s understand" can attest to, it's a powerful selling tool as well. It doesn't matter if your remake of a beloved movie is absolutely terrible: People are gonna go see it.

You know what's easier than rebooting a popular franchise or building a whole new one around a perennially popular throwback brand? Just plain giving the people what they want: Reruns of classic Nickelodeon shows from the ‘90s. Around the clock. On a multi-platform channel/alternative universe in which 9/11 hasn't happened yet, no one has cell phones, and those precious hours between the end of the school day and dinnertime stretch before you like so many lazy, possibility-filled fields of responsibility-free gold.

Yes, it's The Splat, a new programming block from Nickelodeon that consists of all your favorite throwback shows: All That, The Angry Beavers, Are You Afraid of the Dark?, CatDog, Clarissa Explains It All, Hey Arnold!, Hey Dude, Kenan & Kel, The Ren & Stimpy Show, Legends of the Hidden Temple, Rocko’s Modern Life, Rugrats, Salute Your Shorts, and The Wild Thornberrys.

Said nostalgia-fest will take over TeenNick from 10 p.m. to 6 a.m. every night starting Oct. 5, and will also be online at TheSplat.com, which is good, because not a single ‘90s kid we know actually has a regular TV. There will also be an "emoji keyboard," so get ready for text-images of Melissa Joan Hart in wacky outfits, I guess?

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Our personal favorite, The Adventures of Pete & Pete, isn't part of the lineup for now -- but a Nickelodeon rep told the A.V. Club that could change. Until then: We're just going to tamp down all of our unease about being blatantly pandered to as #millennials, the constant monetizing of our wistfulness and the sense of loss that comes with growing up, and not ruminate on what it says about this cultural moment that we currently have access to more incredibly sophisticated TV programming and unlimited entertainment options than ever and all anybody really wants is a whole damn channel that plays Ren & Stimpy reruns around the clock.

To these feelings we say: Sssshhh. I'll start my homework after Legends of the Hidden Temple is over.

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