A Live Blog of the Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2 Trailer

The trailer for the very last Hunger Games movie has landed! This is an historic moment and the end of an era so what better way to experience it than with a live blog of the minute and 46 seconds?

0:08 - The first shot is of a wedding. Theme: heaven is a place on earth. It's been a while since I had the flu and read the books in four days so I'm gonna go with Haymitch (Woody Harrelson). Can you imagine how open the open bar would be at that shindig? RSVP me right up!

0:10 - A brief crowd shot delivers all the feels. You have the dearly departed Philip Seymour Hoffman (*lip tremble*), Miss Congeniality Effie Trinket (Elizabeth Banks) rocking all the accessories, Haymitch with clean hair and Johanna (Jena Malone) without any.

0:11 - That girl with the skull tattoo is using some device. Maybe she's Instagramming the mystery wedding?#CutesyWeddingHashtagThatIncludesACleverPun

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0:12 - Oh, it's Finnick (Sam Claflin), a.k.a. the hottest guy to brandish a trident since Ariel's dad. He somehow has two dimples just in case the first one didn't scream I AM DESIRABLE AND YOU CAN NEVER HAVE ME enough. He's getting married to a Jessica Chastain clone.

0:14 - Effie approves of their tasteful first kiss (just the right amount of tongue). Gale (Liam Hemsworth) and Katniss (Jennifer Lawrence) are bored in the background.

0:17 - The nuptials inspire District 13's very first honky tonk.

0:20 - Effie pets Katniss' dominatrix outfit, while wearing a layered weave dress. Katniss looks in the mirror, wishing she were in sweats.

0:24 - Jennifer Lawrence uses her gravely I-just-woke-up-hungover-and-super-thirsty voice to say that President Snow (Donald Sutherland) must pay for what he has done, mainly stinking up the place with his rose smell and bleeding everywhere.

0:29 - Someone tells Katniss that "one way or another, this war is going to come to an end." Translation: no, you cannot make a Mockingjay Part 3.

0:30 - Katniss watches a speaker, looking as pissed as she did at Finnick's wedding. Such an ISTP.

0:34 - Katniss smiles! Haymitch touches her knee! I ship this!

0:39 - Philip Seymour Hoffman again. Stop trying to make us cry, Lionsgate!

0:41 - President Snow is wearing gloves indoors surrounded by his white friends, with dark-skinned servants standing in the background. With a name like that, it makes sense that he's racist.

0:44 - Storm troopers stand on moving vehicles cause they saw that M.I.A. video, where she's straight up chilling on the side of a BMW, filing her nails, and thought Hey, I wanna do that!

0:45 - Katniss dances with her little sister, Prim (Willow Shields). It's really cute, but would be cuter if her cat was in on this. If Romy and Michele have taught us anything, it's that three is not the loneliest number, but actually the perfect formula for a killer dance sequence.

0:49 - A pissed off Charlize Theron in Monster looking lady flares her nostrils.

0:52 - A rocket launcher blows up an important looking building. Have we learned nothing from the Library of Alexandria? This is why we can't have nice things or historical records.

0:59 - Katniss walks to the Capitol. I don't think they get America's Next Top Model in Panem because her walk needs a lot of work. Where's the side tooch?

1:04 - Oh, no. Peeta (Josh Hutcherson) is crying. Don't cry, Peeta. I was confused when I said I was Team Gale after reading the first book. And I shouldn't have said that I ship Haymitch and Katniss before. It was always you.

1:06 - Katniss is nuzzling into Peeta's neck. He isn't trying to murder her anymore! Hurray!

1:10 - Young rebels throw up their Mockingjay gang sign and Katniss is pleased with her brand. Take that, goop.com!

1:11 - An armored car explodes and flips over. They were probably just trying to merge onto the freeway. Driving is really hard! Just ask Dionne.

1:14 - Katniss rocks an emerald hooded cape. Yaaas, Katniss, you look so good. Oh my god, yaaas.

1:16 - Gale looks like he's about to do something wrong, like break Miley Cyrus' heart again.

1:17 - More explosions because that's the way to American movie-goers' hearts.

1:18 - President Snow smells.

1:21 - Some girl gets stuck on a land mine or finds a hidden hatch or something?

1:23 - Everyone runs from a flood of black liquid. Your move, elevator in The Shining.

1:35 - Finnick smolders and says, "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the 76th Hunger Games."

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1:41 - November 20, 2015 appears out of flames. You have nearly 6 months to figure out which Effie wig you're going to wear.

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