If a vegan does CrossFit, which do they tell you about first?
Veganism's rise from the province of weirdo radicals to the mainstream has naturally given rise to jokes like this -- ones in which the central tenet is: Vegans love to tell you about how they're vegan. Vegans, the thinking goes, are always holier-than-thou, always evangelizing, trying to convert those around them. It's a tough reputation to shake, especially when pretty much everyone has that one friend who just won't stop talking about how great they feel since cutting out steak/cheese/anything delicious. You know the friend. You generally kind of want to smack him or her.
Today, that friend is Beyoncé. And we love you, Bey, but we do kind of want to smack you. We're not alone.
After a bombastic, televised promotional spot in which Mrs. Carter promised to reveal something on Good Morning America today -- something she just had to share with everyone -- her fans kept themselves up all night wondering what it could be. A new album announcement? A pregnancy? Was she finally coming clean about her and Jay Z's involvement in a Satanic cult?!