Mad Men: Let's Wildly Speculate about the First Photos from the Final Season!

mad-men-final-season
Photo: Frank Ockenfels 3/AMC

When AMC announced that they were splitting Mad Men's final season into two, my eyes hurt from rolling so hard. Stop trying to be Harry Potter, Don Draper! I thought. But with the passage of time, I have grown to accept this decision and even be thankful for it; if the show had ended last year, we wouldn't still be talking about these great characters or wildly speculating about what will happen in the final episodes based on a few promo photos!

So let's start with the photo above. Megan is obviously not letting her breakup with Don rain on her navel-baring parade. She's like, Look, y'all, my belly doesn't have a baby in it so you can settle your Sharon Tate bets now. Maybe she'll finally make it big in LA as Cher's stand-in?

Betty is staring me down, pissed that I analyzed Megan first so let's get to it. She's still smoking and drinking and mean mugging. She already shot up some birds just for singing so maybe Betty's final season involves murdering those on her shit list (everyone, except for Peggy's secret baby only because she's never met him).

Aw, Peggy. I look at her and I see love. I also see someone who traveled back in time and became a flapper. Good for you, Peg. You've gone through so much sexist workplace harassment that you deserve the ability to hop from decade to decade. You also deserve a spinoff.

Joan doesn't seem to have drastically changed. Once a boss, always a boss.

mad men final season 7
Photo: Frank Ockenfels 3/AMC

Some old people loiter, while Sally Draper makes a fashion statement reminiscent of Sybil Crawley's harem pants reveal (same color and everything!). She is basically Tavi Gevinson or a soon-to-be Anna Wintour. Can't you picture it? If you had to deal with parents like hers, you would also wear sunglasses everywhere, instill fear in all who cross your path, and secretly plot against noisy celebrity babies.

don draper mad men final season 7
Photo: Frank Ockenfels 3/AMC

Oh, right, this show is actually about Don. He's drinking, per usual, and in California or upstate New York...or purgatory, thinking about all the messed up stuff he's done over the years. If he's still alive, he'll soon be dead via a Jay Gatsby pool situation. Bye!

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Got some speculations of your own? Leave 'em in the comments!

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