Just imagine the Twitter meltdown this would inspire. Ellen Degeneres essentially copied Rosie's "Queen of Nice" talk show format and has a star, so why not Rosie? She also gave us the most incredible political showdown on daytime television, made Koosh balls a thing, and has advocated for veterans who need rehabilitation and at-risk children for years. And, last and certainly least, she followed me back on Twitter. Give this woman her due!
I triple-checked the fact that Whitney does not have a star because it just doesn't make any sense. Alas, we live in a bizarre world without justice. She gave us timeless hits, a perfect rendition of the Star-Spangled Banner, more reaction gifs than we deserve, an iconic season of reality television ("Kiss my @ss!"), an iconic interview with Wendy Williams, an even more iconic interview with Diane Sawyer, and so much more. I could go on, but why should I have to? Put her star into the ground right this minute!
These people really gave David Spade a star before the Artist Formally Known By A Weird Symbol?!? The gall! In addition to putting out the most vital music of the '80s (in my humble opinion), he also boldly subverted gender with no concern for all the homophobes who might stop supporting his art, made buttock cut-out pants aspirational, is one of the few musicians to create a movie worth watching, and cultivated a side-eye that is to this day unparalleled. What else needs to be said?
For some reason, Missy doesn't get her rightful due. Remember when Katy Perry brought her out during the Super Bowl Halftime show and youngins thought she was a new artist? Sacrilege. Those of us who are old enough remember how Missy put her thing down, flipped it and reversed it (itsyurfriminipiniwit). Put some respect on her name already.
I just risked hella wrinkles by frowning really hard after typing her name. It's unfair that she's gone and nothing can ever make that right, but something that would help a little bit is to recognize this woman's great performances, her sharp wit, and her writing skills (her memoirs are must-reads, and she also ghostwrote many popular movies like Sister Act, Hook, and several Star Wars movies). Also, she was a great mom to her dog Gary (and to her human kid too, I'm sure). Hand the star over.
Sure, she has a joint one with Destiny's Child, but that's just not good enough. She changed the game with the surprise drop of Beyoncé, changed it some more with Lemonade, outmatched gravity at the Super Bowl, outmatched gravity again while pregnant at the Grammys, stood eerily still while Solange Mortal Kombat-ed Jay-Z, and just this week said the following in her first interview in years: "Whenever I’m ready to get a six-pack, I will go into beast zone and work my ass off until I have it. But right now, my little FUPA and I feel like we are meant to be." Any questions?
And now for some controversial picks that only I will most likely rally behind:
The Cup of Water from Jurassic Park
Hands down, one of the most compelling performances of the '90s. Start laying the cement.
Vicki the Robot from Small Wonder
Sure, most people don't remember this '80s show, and sure, the actress hasn't really been in anything else, but I don't care. Pretending to be an affectless robot in a man's world is hard work!
The Naked Baby from Nirvana's Nevermind album cover
This body-positive tot defined '90s grunge. Plus, he can swim when a lot of us adults can't. Kudos to him are owed.
Speaking of babies, let's give it up for this meme pioneer!
Cynthia from Rugrats
Like Beyoncé, Cynthia is the breakout member of this group, yet has to share a star with the other Rugrats (no joke; they really do have a star). Before The Rachel™ hairstyle, we had The Cynthia™. Barbie who?
This girl group dominated pop music and TRL for approximately 15 minutes, before disbanding due to Puff Daddy's notoriously horrendous mismanagement (R.I.P. Danity Kane and Da Band). They were wronged and deserve a consolation prize! (So do the members of S Club 7 -- because imagine dividing your meager earnings that many ways -- but there is only so much room on this list.)
Any and All Characters from X-Men: The Animated Series
For bringing about my... uh, I mean, our... sexually awakening.