Keith Barlow: The Mermaid Tie

Keith Barlow shares about a family tradition.

One of my favorite maxims is that “tradition is just peer pressure from dead people.” That is, we should not feel bound by the rules made by our predecessors merely because their ghosts sit on our shoulders and whisper in our ears.

But that doesn’t mean that tradition isn’t important.

I grew up with a tradition of traveling to Merced for Thanksgiving. Despite the interminable drive from Pleasanton, this was a wonderful tradition played out by three generations of family in the home of my aunt and uncle. Memories of setting up the tables and chairs and roughhousing on the front lawn still bring out the childhood glee in this grandfather. Now in our 60s to 80s, my siblings and my cousins all hold in our hearts many fond memories of those gatherings.

This tradition carried on for more than 30 years, but now the two older generations are gone, as well as the home in which we gathered. And the family tree has three new generations, spread from the Bay Area to Florida and Palm Springs to Chicago so it is prohibitively hard to get everyone together and now the memories of the old traditions are fading with the new generations.

Nonetheless, we still maintain one vestige of that old Thanksgiving tradition, bestowing of the Mermaid Tie. This screaming pink necktie is decorated with a somewhat risqué mermaid, sporting flaming hair. The gaudy relic has been passed around in the family since the early 1960s and our tradition demands that, when you pass this heirloom along, you provide photographic evidence that you wore her in public. We keep this ritual alive to rejuvenate the memories of the older generation, but also to draw the newer generations into family lore.

At some time in the future, my generation will be the ones whispering that same peer pressure on our descendants shoulders – I hope they will be listening.

With a Perspective, I’m Keith Barlow.

Keith Barlow is an IT professional in the East Bay who wears unique ties for holidays and special occasions.