Andrea Solis shares about her struggles with mental health, identity and her recovery process.
“Who am I?” That’s the question I asked myself the moment I realized depression and anxiety no longer consumed me. I realized I was not the same person that I was before. My peers and family knew me as the happy girl, someone who would never let a bad experience bring her down.
I was a good student, I was a loving sister, I was full of laughter, I loved life… I loved myself. It started with random outbursts of tears and wanting to be isolated from the world. I didn’t understand, why couldn’t I stop crying? I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and Panic Disorder. What came after that were four years of substance abuse and going against my own beliefs. I felt distant from my loved ones and even my own self, I had never felt so lonely. One day, I decided that I no longer wanted to live that way. Through years of consistent therapy and support from my family, the days of being absorbed by depression were over. But from that experience, I was left feeling stripped of my identity.
Everyone always talks about the journey of overcoming depression, but not what comes after the storm. After everything I experienced, how was I supposed to go back to my old self? My therapist assisted me with these identity issues, through us exploring and deciding what was important to me now. I learned how to progressively integrate new morals and views, I even tried out new hobbies, such as pottery and snowboarding and re-enrolled in college.
I may no longer be the person I was before, but I am starting fresh with an identity that I am growing to love more each day. Many of my peers have experienced mental health disorders in their young age, but I feel that the recovery from the experience is not talked about enough. I want everyone who suffered to know that they are not alone in the path of recovery. It is all going to be OK. With a Perspective, I’m Andrea Solis.