Dorin Greenwood shares about her experience after moving from Canada to the Bay Area.
Every few months, I launch a letter-writing campaign to my friends back in Toronto. I write about the highlights of my day-to-day life. But what I’m really doing is writing to them and saying, “Hey, you! Remember me?” We moved to California almost 8 years ago for my husband’s job.
For all the Canadian expats listening, you will know that moving away from home is not easy, even under the best of circumstances. I suffered terrible bouts of homesickness and loneliness, and to this day, that feeling returns in waves when I least expect it. I still feel a sense of loss for my community, and despite my best efforts to integrate into a new place, it remains a work in progress. That is why I desperately cling to my former home by penning letters to friends.
The act of writing helps me feel connected in a corporeal way.. I send the letters without any expectation of a response and for my own gratification. Once in a while, I get a card back. More often, I get a text saying, “I got your card in the mail” (usually with the postscript, “you are so good at keeping in touch”).
This response is both heartwarming and disappointing. It’s an acknowledgment that the only reason we keep in touch is because I write letters. I have fully accepted that when one moves away, the onus lies with that person to keep in touch with their friends, but it doesn’t take away the sting of feeling, in some part, forgotten. This paradox of belonging and estrangement becomes even more pronounced on visits back home.