Steven Birenbaum: Designated Driver

Steven Birenbaum reminisces about his carpool experience after he moved to the Bay Area.

I first encountered the “Casual Carpool” 25 years ago, after moving from New York City. In an era before apps, the concept was ingeniously simple. Drivers stopped to pick up strangers at designated spots, which enabled them to use the car pool lane over the Bay Bridge. This saved both parties time and money and made for memorable stories.

East Coast friends were mystified. “Wait,” they asked, “you get in a car with a complete stranger?” Of course, that’s exactly what millions now do when they hop in an Uber.

Drivers needed at least two passengers, unless they were in a two-seater. There were other considerations. Music or talk radio? Conversation or silence? Back then, you couldn’t just bury your face in your phone.

Sure, casual carpool could be cringe, but it also was an early Hinge, resulting in romantic relationships, and from what I’ve heard, a marriage or two.

I’ll never forget one driver who got under my skin. He clearly detested the carpool kumbaya, but that didn’t stop him from queuing up almost daily. One time he picked me and other passengers up then immediately stopped for gas. “Why didn’t you fill-up beforehand?” I thought to myself.

Once you crossed the bridge, etiquette dictated dropping passengers at Fremont and Howard, unless you discussed another endpoint. But almost as soon as we crossed into San Francisco, the driver pulled onto a random street, stopped the car and said, “You’ll get out here.”

One of the qualities I most appreciated about casual carpool was its democratic feel. If someone insulted your sense of decency, the next time they drove up, you could say, “Ah, No!”

Sadly, the pandemic and ride share services killed casual carpool, though there’s an effort to bring it back.

What may help is the end of the H.O.V. lane. Starting in October, drivers of electric vehicles, too, will need at least three people to use the lane.

If that jumpstarts a casual carpool rebirth, I might just start climbing into the backseat again.

With a Perspective, I’m Steven Birenbaum.

Steven Birenbaum is a writer who works in philanthropic development.