Peyton Fu-Sarosa shares about her parents, family structure and not hiding her identity.
Growing up, I watched my two moms do everything from cleaning the gutters, doing laundry, helping with my homework, calling into business meetings and sneaking handwritten notes into my lunchbox that they packed together in the morning. Mama packed my volleyball snacks and drove me to practices, while Mommy chased after the volleyballs in her button-up shirt, slacks and dress shoes.
For me, having two moms wasn’t unusual. I knew I lucked out because I had two equally supportive, strong, loving and busy parents. As a result, I grew up with a distinct and expansive vision of womanhood. I never felt pressure to step back, wait for someone else to lead, or behave in what some may call a feminine way to appear more “likable.”
In my first relationship, our friends joked that I was the “man” in the relationship. But when I planned dates and insisted on driving, I wasn’t trying to act masculine. I was just being myself, a value my parents always instilled in me. In daily life, I continue to question and challenge assumptions. When teachers referred to my “mom and dad,” I initially struggled to correct them. I wasn’t ashamed of my family, but I dreaded being seen as different.
Eventually, I realized that my silence didn’t protect me but reinforced the alienation I feared. If I wanted to encourage others to be authentic to themselves, I had to stop hiding my own identity. I started gently correcting assumptions when people mentioned “my dad.” While I braced for judgment, I was usually met with kindness and even gratitude for opening up.