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Chrissy Hoffman: Extending Grace

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Chrissy Hoffman at KQED in San Francisco on June 17, 2025. (Martin do Nascimento/KQED)

Chrissy Hoffman talks about how acceptance over anger can lead to a deeper understanding.

Recently, I double booked and missed an important appointment. I shuffled the timing without realizing and said yes to a meeting that overlapped with a class I had committed to sub for. When I received a text from the teacher, my heart dropped into the pit of my stomach.

Subs are important for yoga teachers. We had great subbing reciprocity and I had just messed that up. I replied with deep apologies and, not wanting to ruin both commitments, I tried to be as present as possible for the rest of my rehearsal. After, I walked to the car under a cloud.

I was sure they were furious with me, but when I looked at my phone their response said that they were disappointed, but understood and could extend grace. The concept of grace has always seemed a bit elusive to me, but I could tell they were not furious. So, I took a breath and looked it up.

In the Merriam-Webster dictionary, it says, “unmerited divine assistance given to humans for their regeneration or sanctification.” I felt the need for a less formal definition and came upon, “an instance of kindness, courtesy or clemency.” This teacher had definitely given me the courtesy of not freaking out. It gave me the space to breathe and consider my mistake. I texted a thanks and that I hoped I could extend that grace to myself. They responded, “We are working on grace for ourselves every day, I completely resonate.”

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This choice of acceptance over anger eased the shame and moved towards a sense of self forgiveness. I had felt like a bad person for messing up. Their response definitely was regenerative and rather divine too. It seems that the dictionary was right! I drove home and reflected on how much beautiful power we have to understand and accept the human-ness of others; to extend grace into the world. With a Perspective, I’m Chrissy Hoffman.

Chrissy Hoffman is a yoga therapist and teacher in Berkeley, offering sliding scale and donation based sessions and classes.

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