Kayla Ling: End Catcalling

Kayla Ling describes her experience being catcalled and why the behavior needs to stop.

One day, I was out walking on a calm street in San Mateo. I wore a ribbed green tank top with wide fabric straps. It hit just below the waistband of my favorite jeans. I felt good, so I hummed a song as I walked.

Then, two men in a white pickup truck rolled past me on the sidewalk. Windows open, they catcalled me. At first, I was disgusted with them. Rude! But, then, I got angry with myself.

I questioned if it was my fault, because my tank top clung to my body too tight. Maybe I shouldn’t have been humming a song, which attracted their attention and catcalling.

Catcalling, an informal term for street harassment, is an issue disproportionately harming women: 85 percent of American women are harassed on the street before they turn 17 years old. This harassment may look like men making unprompted and unwelcome comments, nonconsensually groping a woman or even following her home.

Less discussed, though, is the pressure for a woman to be the “perfect victim.” The “perfect victim” myth dictates that, in order for a victim of harassment to be taken seriously, she must have been dressing and acting perfectly innocent. For example, the myth says that harassment is essentially justified when a woman is too provocative with her clothes, behavior or words. We reinforce the myth when we listen to a woman’s experience, then ask, “but what was she wearing?”

I’ve internalized this myth, even if I know that tighter clothes and a sweet personality don’t equate to consent. I don’t smile at men on the street, at the risk of making them interested in something more.

I’m honestly still not sure how to best avoid getting catcalled, but I do encourage everyone to take action in a small way. If a woman tells you her experience with harassment or assault, rather than asking, “How is this your fault?” ask, “Are you OK?” Offer support, resources or a hug, rather than reinforcing the impossible “perfect victim” myth.
With a Perspective, I’m Kayla Ling.