Bruce Stoffmacher: The Ants

After ants invaded his home, Bruce Stoffmacher finds the silver lining in dealing with the infestation.

I first noticed the conga line of ants marching up the door frame after the deluge of recent rains. They were marching to a chemical rhythm telling them to escape the soil outside, now a turbid muck too full of water.

I reacted with alarm and curiosity. My home, with its warmth and safety for humans, dogs and assorted house plants, was now infested with an alien species.

I overcame my instinct to kill the ants, and instead bent down, saw them crawl under the door and along the wall to a teeny hole in the wainscoting behind the piano.

I got out my trusty caulking gun and sealed up the hole, but the next day to my surprise, they were still there. There was a gap in the window above the piano, and those adventurous ants found a new front door to our living room.

Ants use their antennae to pick up chemical cues left by other ants. They wander and explore, but eventually some ant finds a new hole and use pheromones to tell their friends. Back to the conga line!
When I discovered they could crawl through the air gap in my electrical outlet, it was too much. Out came the caulking gun again, sealing more gaps. Then, a second conga line started in the bathroom. Was I destined to start setting the dinner table for a few thousand extra guests?

It occurred to me later that maybe these ants were doing me a favor, showing me where the warm air, created from my carbon-emitting gas furnace, was seeping out. My 120-year-old house I now realized had a lot of places where new windows were sloppily upgraded and needed to be sealed.

So now I tip my hat to this temporary ballet, for making my house a little bit warmer and for using a little less gas. It’s also a reminder that we are not alone in the world, and we can all learn something from our friends, the ants. With a Perspective, I’m Bruce Stoffmacher.

Bruce Stoffmacher is a father to two teenage humans, two dogs and husband to a lovely wife. He lives in Alameda and works as a privacy analyst in local government.