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Martha Engber: How a Civil Discussion Burst My Political Bubble

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Martha Engber shares her eye-opening experience talking with people who have different political views.

On a recent Saturday afternoon in my Santa Clara home, I signed into a Zoom meeting with 11 other Democrats and Republicans, some from the Bay Area and others from across the country.
Rather than dispute the fiery political rhetoric surrounding U.S. immigration, we’d come to find common ground.

The workshop was sponsored by Braver Angels. The national nonprofit, which has three Bay Area alliances, brings red and blue voters together for civil discussion.

As someone who lives in an area where members of one political party far outnumber another, I craved the opportunity to meet with those who vote differently than me. By talking with them, I hoped to better understand the outcome of the November presidential election.

I was nervous about coming face-to-face with my political opposites, but the moderators quickly set the rules necessary to create a respectful, safe environment for discussion. Then they split us into two groups, one of liberals and the other of conservatives, each tasked with creating a list of values, concerns and suggestions. When both groups reunited, we compared our lists…and were stunned by how similar they were.

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We all wanted a humane, transparent [and] fair system where all Americans are safe and their jobs protected. While our input, and that from 40 other workshops held around the country, will eventually be forwarded to Congress, for me, the real value of the experience was this: that by setting aside our anger, fear and tribal tendencies to talk to one another, the concept of “us” and “them” disappeared and my cohorts and I became “we,” as in “we the people.”

I came to understand that if we Americans pledge our allegiance to one another, rather than any political party, we have the power to insist that our leaders stop with the toxic messaging and take care of all of us citizens the way we deserve. With a Perspective, I’m Martha Engber.

Martha Engber is a journalist and writer from Santa Clara.

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