Richard Chow: My Father's Words

When his sister discovers an old letter from their late father, Richard Chow has the opportunity to learn more about him.

I have no recollection of my father. Instead, he exists only in an abstract narrative cobbled together from stories shared by others.  He had emigrated alone from China to the U.S., and later became a doctor, husband, and father of five children. What emerges from the stories is a person who embraced joy, adventure, and intellectual challenges.

I was only five, when my father died, now 60 years ago. My desire to learn more about him has dissipated over the years. His narrative remains only an inadequate outline of his brief life, one that lacks meaningful emotional content. This has created a stream of melancholy that flows through my own narrative.

Last month, my sister discovered a picture of our parents as a young couple.  Somehow, this prompted my mother, now 92, to mention that my father had written a final letter.

My siblings and I were dumbfounded. The letter is handwritten in English, not Chinese, his native language.  He begins with administrative matters, including his own funeral arrangements.

The handwriting becomes less legible as the letter concludes. In the letter, he says “I love you. P.S. Please get married again so that the children would not be fatherless. In all my last nine years, I have lived happily, but always, I knew I was going away.”

There is composure in the words.  But, it is my father’s love for his wife that overrides everything else.   She would soon be a widow at 32 with five children to raise; but, at this moment, she was still the woman my father adored for nine years of marriage.

There is also resignation in my father’s tone.   The medical miracle he had hoped would address his heart disease – the one I inherited from him – would occur in my lifetime, not his.  I had the opportunity to create years of memories with my children.  He did not.

Intended just for his wife, the letter allowed for a perspective of my father that did not exist.  His expression of love and consideration still resonates with me decades later.  This reassures me, bringing meaning to my life in a way that only a father’s words could make possible.

With a Perspective, I’m Richard Chow.

Richard Chow advises on investment opportunities focused on sustainability. He and his wife live in the Bay Area and enjoy spending time with their college-age daughters.