We’ve all been there before – you’re telling your friend a story that had you in stitches, but all you get in return is a blank stare. Marilyn Englander reflects on those moments where “you just had to be there.”
I’m in the kitchen on a Saturday morning and my husband bursts in excited, his eyes aglow. He has to tell me about this remarkable new thing he’s learned to do on his device: copying and transferring articles, then editing them in digital layers and saving — blah blah blah. His enthusiasm is delightful. I smile and nod, and struggle to share the moment. But I can’t get there.
Or, I’m reading the paper and land on a piece about a renowned cartoonist, with samples of his whimsical work. I chuckle appreciatively. Later on the phone I try to get my sister to laugh too as I describe one of the cartoons. There’s silence on the line, then she declares: “I guess it’s one of those you-had-to-be-there moments.” The Ecstasy Gap.
We all experience the Gap. My book group friends stumble on it in our gatherings. In solitude, we each read and enjoy, even underlining or jotting notes. But then, in our discussion weeks later, it’s nearly impossible to articulate that moment of epiphany, the sudden rush of feeling. The passage read without context, outside that time of total absorption —- falls flat. Polite murmurs echo through the group… and it’s hard not to feel disheartened by the disconnect.
Oh, the fragile line between sharing joy and boring others! Someone trying to describe the hilarious antics of the puppy at the beach, or the riveting plot of last night’s movie. It rarely translates.