Learning self-defense against a variety of threats can be stressful, but for Christine Schoefer and her students it was all about saying Yes to life.
Joyce and I taught self-defense together for 15 years. Our classes were loud and sweaty and very real. Manicured nails disappeared as fingers curled into fists. Clothing layers were peeled off when the room heated up. Punching and kicking into target pads ignited huge smiles on everyone’s face, regardless of race or age or gender.
At schools and colleges, community centers and shelters, corporate offices and non-profits, participants practiced boundary-setting skills and simple physical techniques. In role plays, they said No to invasive uncles and bosses, to hostile partners and strangers. They shared anger and distress and ingenious acts of resistance. Delving into the multi-layered terrain of violence and aggression inevitably activated past trauma and present fears. Sometimes people shed tears.
At the end of class, we made a circle. Joyce and I asked folks to step forward with their left foot and then bend their elbows waist-high so that both palms faced out. Moving from the back hip, thrust out the heel of your right palm. Picture an attacker and target under the nose or chin. On the count of three, yell NO as you strike. The NO boomed.
Next, we asked people what constrains their safety. They named prejudice, misogyny, the silence of complicity. Strike out against that, we said, and the second NO was even louder than the first.