Tom Moriarty: The Universe vs. the Metaverse

Facebook is betting on the future of virtual reality but Tom Moriarty says everything it’s promised Metaverse can deliver is already available in the real world.

Hi everybody. I’m Tom from TomTech, here to tell you about the world’s first 3D, fully-immersive, 360-degree wrap-around social media platform. It’s called The Universe. And it’s available now, exclusively from TomTech.

Like Facebook’s newly-announced Metaverse, which founder Mark Zuckerberg described to The Verge as “an embodied internet, where instead of just viewing content – you are in it,” The Universe is an embodied social media experience, or social media extravaganza as we like to say, that offers a richer, more immersive experience than anything currently available on those boring little rectangles — ahem, cell phones — you carry around in your pocket.

Thanks to our breakthrough proprietary headset technology, The Universe offers an infinitely scalable aural, visual, tactile, olfactory, and gustatory experience where the lag time between you and your avatar has been reduced to zero.

That’s right: zero. You think something and your avatar instantly thinks it with you. You move this way or that way, jump up and down, or wave at your neighbor, and your avatar moves with you. You say something and your avatar says it at exactly the same time. Or you pass a little gas and your avatar stinks up the room, as if you were there, because you are.

You might think that the world’s first 3D, embodied, fully-immersive, 360-degree wrap-around social media experience would cost you hundreds of dollars a year, or require you to give up your privacy and sell your personal data (and your soul) to advertisers. But no. The Universe, and a lifetime of experiences for you and your avatar, is available for the low, one-time price of $20.

That’s right. For twenty bucks, you’ll receive an official Universe headset (it’s a hat) and instructions on how to log in to the best, most realistic social media platform on planet earth (you put it on your head and put your phone away).

So join The Universe now and “Live. For Real.”

The Universe, and the phrase “Live. For Real.”, with that pretentious punctuation in there, are copyrighted trademarks of TomTech, Incorporated, OG, LLC. The use of such words and phrases, without the express written permission of TomTech, is strictly prohibited.

With a Perspective, I’m Tom Moriarty.

Tom Moriarty teaches writing and rhetoric at San Jose State University.