These are hard times. Depressing times. Even traumatizing times. And lots of people — like Peter Andrus — are having a tough time coping.
I’m usually a happy, energetic person. I’ve been accused of having an infinite supply of energy.
But I had a terrible day yesterday. I’ve held myself together through six months of COVID house arrest, societal upheaval, wildfires, oppressive air quality, evacuation alerts, no exercise, online school. Then I heard Butano State Park is burning and my heart broke. An untouchable part of my childhood memory now felt tainted and stolen. I felt a dark, consuming malaise come over me.
During an online work meeting my emotions started flooding out of nowhere. Luckily I wasn’t the focus, so I just turned off my camera. I couldn’t tell, at first, where these were coming from.
Upon reflection, they’re from trying to be a strong dad, from telling my young daughter the fires will never reach our house, but we might have to evacuate. From being locked in the house for three days with an oppressive red haze covering the sun and moon, and from being an extrovert locked in a cage … and on and on