The onions were ready; the sight of those pretties filled me with delight. Soon we would be feasting upon the red-skinned beauties.
Then a critter weighing less than a pound exposed my dark side.
The garden had been carefully planned: raised beds, with bottoms of thick wire to discourage any underground intruders, held rich loam. The anticipation of the garden's bounty made weeding bearable. And then one morning I discovered a half-eaten onion next to a gopher burrow.
This was war. I brought our two cats to the battle zone. "Look," I pointed to the mounds. "Gopher. Bad. Gopher. Yummy." Both cats sniffed the evidence, and then stared at me as if to say, "Can we go indoors now and eat some nice kibble?" I've seen slugs move faster than those two.
Daily, another half-eaten onion, and I'd read gophers disliked onions. I collected remedies, perused gardening books. I searched online. I planted gopher spurge. I stuffed used cat litter down the holes; I poured cayenne down as well. I collected hair from the salon. Castor bean oil guaranteed to roust the devil went full strength down the burrow. I ran the hose down each offending opening and watched as water bubbled up 20 feet away.