Drop Out

at 11:43 PM

When I turned 18, I gave myself a birthday gift. I became a high school dropout.

I went to a private middle school where instead of report cards, I got entire packets of evaluations. From science to cultural studies, every teacher took up a full sheet of paper, assessing my ability to ask questions, show up to class on time, and complete homework.

But when I enrolled in Berkeley High School -- a student metropolis with 3,500 other teens -- my class sizes doubled and homework and tests took on more weight than ever before. School became not about my level of mastery, but about how many papers I could turn in.

Everywhere I looked, I saw people falling into exhausting routines, full of extracurriculars, extra credit and extra tutoring; to pass all their AP classes, to look good for an expensive college, to get a scholarship. And here I was, just months into my freshman year, already exhausted. I'd sit in bed until late at night thinking, "How am I going to get through the next morning when today was hell?"
 
Junior year, I started skipping classes in favor of reading in the park across the street. It was the first time in a long time that I felt engaged in learning. It woke me up to the fact that I needed to take control of my own education.

During my senior year, I dropped out. Within a month, I passed the GED with a plan to attend community college and transfer to a four-year university. Most adults couldn't understand why I'd give up on my high school education. After all, didn't I want to graduate?

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Of course not. Once I graduate from college, it won't matter anymore whether I got a GED or a high school diploma.

If it's widely accepted that people have different styles of learning, then why is it so outrageous to take a different educational path? I didn't give up on anything. I chose well-being over the expectations of others. And I took control of my future.

With a Perspective, I'm Desmond Meagley.

Desmond Meagley is 18 years old and lives in Berkeley. His commentary was produced by Youth Radio.