Maybe you've heard about how the Vatican is reaching out to unhappy Episcopalians. They have even developed a process by which married Episcopal priests -- like me -- can become Catholic priests! Yeah, you heard that right. Now Catholic priests don't have to be celibate any more -- as long as they started out as Episcopal priests.
Well, speaking unofficially on behalf of all Episcopalians, I would like to make a counter-offer to the Vatican. We will gladly trade all of our unhappy Episcopalians for all of your unhappy Catholics.
If you have any gay priests, for instance, who might be unhappy about living in the closet, you'll be happy to hear that the Episcopal Church has been ordaining openly gay men since 1990.
Or maybe you have some women on your hands who are unhappy because they are called to the priesthood. No worries. Send them on over to us. We've been ordaining women since 1976, and the current head of our church is a female bishop. She seems very happy.
Or maybe you've got some priests who are unhappy because they've fallen in love and they can't get married. We want you to know that our priests have been getting happily married for hundreds of years now, and everyone is happier as a result.