The Kitsch That Stole Christmas

at 11:35 PM

Halloween may be long gone, but we're well on our way to that holiday with some really scary outfits.
 
Yes, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.
 
I hate to be a scrooge, but this time of year, along with cards and carols, brings out too many holiday theme-clothing fashion victims.
 
And, unfortunately, my fellow primary school teachers may be among the worst. Normally sane, hard-working professionals suddenly don their gay apparel, showing up in reindeer sweaters and festive fleeces with sparkly snowman appliques. It's hard to focus in a meeting when the other participants are wearing red vests trimmed with fake polar bear fur and jingle bell earrings that tinkle merrily as they project their power point.
 
I think it's great Santa Claus is coming to town, but let's face it, Santa hats really only work on Santa. Battery-powered red and green blinking Christmas light accessories make the wearer look like an emergency vehicle. And foam reindeer antlers are not a good look on anyone.
 
I actually saw a sweater festooned with sleigh bells, fruit cakes, and Rudolf's very shiny nose. And it isn't just Christmas; I've seen hideous Hanukah earrings and kitschy Kwanza t-shirts.
 
But maybe I shouldn't laugh and call them names. After all, 'tis the season to be jolly, no matter which holiday your sweater is celebrating.
 
So if mistletoe mittens, candy cane socks, plastic elf ears and silver sequined snowflake stretchpants make your spirits bright, Merry Chrismas to you.
 
In fact, happy holidays to everyone.
 
Let your heart be light.
 
Just promise that for the rest of the year, all those outfits will be out of sight.
 
With a Perspective, I'm Richard Swerdlow.

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