How Are Child Care Costs Affecting the Lives of Bay Area Families? You Told Us

Parents pay more for child care in the Bay Area than almost anywhere else in the country, according to the National Database on Childcare Prices.

KQED recently published a story about how some Bay Area counties are addressing the crisis, and how others are looking into solutions.

We also asked you how much you pay for child care and how it affects your financial and family-planning decisions.

The numbers were eye-popping, and the stories you shared were frustrating and painfully honest. Each one emphasized a common struggle to afford child care while keeping up with the cost of living in the Bay Area.

Some of these responses have been edited for length.

How much are Bay Area families paying monthly for child care?

• $2,200 for full-time toddler care

“The amount we pay in child care keeps us from looking to buy a home because we couldn’t also pay for a mortgage. We relied on family members to help with student loans for a little while.” — Colby

• $2,400 until baby turned 1 ½, now paying $1,915 for toddler care

Honestly, I feel a little traumatized from trying to find an open day care, the stress of the cost and then the fact that we were sick all the time. It makes me much more hesitant to have a second.” — Whitney Hall

• $2,500 for full-time infant care

My partner was laid off during his paternity leave, speeding up the timeline we needed to find child care. We found a home day care that recently opened and got the last available spot. It’s perfect for us right now except for the cost, which is more than our mortgage, and this was the second cheapest option! We’re taking it a month at a time and might move to part-time care to save a bit of money. — May

• $3,800 for in-home care for two kids, ages 4 and 2

“We decided to forego a couple of preferred child care options because their cost exceeded our budget. My husband took a lesser-paying job with a less demanding schedule to accommodate pickup and drop-off times. With two children in private child care, we are looking forward to the relative financial relief of public school.” — Jessica Hsu

• $2315 for a 3-year-old, $575 in after-school care for a 6-year-old

“Plus $100 to $150 per day for day camps, drop-in care or babysitters for the MANY professional development days and holidays when schools are closed but parents are still working. We make six figures, but we feel broke every month and are living beyond our means [because of spouse’s layoff].” — The Munoz Family 

• $5200 for two kids, ages 10 months and almost 3 years

“Luckily, we both have jobs right now that allow us to afford this, and we had a good amount of savings before becoming parents. But if one of us lost a job, keeping our kids in day care wouldn’t be feasible. Also, a career change to a more interesting but lower-paying career or going back to school isn’t really an option right now, because we have to keep our tech jobs to make day care even worth it.” — Yasmine Mortazavi

How are parents trying to make it work?

“Not considering buying a house, less vacations, less eating out, deciding to only have one child.” — Kala, who pays $1800 per month for part-time infant care.

“We try to minimize all other expenses, and to do our best to live within our means in order to pay for a day care center we feel comfortable with that best meets our child’s needs. Also, we had to wait until our first almost transitioned to TK [a free public school-based pre-kindergarten program] before having a second baby since we can’t afford the cost of two overlapping at day care.” — Jeff Chan, who pays $2615 per month for his 3-year-old’s child care.

“We have a mix of babysitters who are college students and grandparents to help care for our toddler. We also have flexible work arrangements, but that means we rarely have time together as a family, as when one of us is not working, we’re caring for our baby and vice versa.”— Ana, who pays about $1656 per month for child care.

“My son was in a nanny share for the first two years of his life. I was working a six-figure nursing job, and it still didn’t feel like working was the better option. After taxes and 401K savings, half of my paycheck was going to our nanny. She deserves it and should be paid well for the work she does, but seeing that much money leave our accounts every month was tough.

I recently left my job, and my son’s child care costs went down significantly when he started a part-time Pre-K program. I’m covering the cost by teaching dance. When our second kid comes into the picture, I plan to be a nanny, taking care of my baby and someone else’s child, while my older is in Pre-K. This choice is both personal and financial for me. It’s more worth it to make a little less money but be able to be with my kids more. I know not everyone has this option.” — Amy Cruz, who pays $1,600 per month for three days of Pre-K for her 2 1/2 -year-old son

“We decided it was cheaper and better to rent out our house in the spring of 2023 and travel on a bus through the Western U.S., Canada and Mexico with our two small children before they became school age.

Nothing about the 15-month trip was easy, but it was so worth it to be on a huge adventure as a family, and not be spending our full-time salaries on day care. We unplugged for a while, and it was awesome. We found a neat private school in Baja, so we went back and rented a small house in San José del Cabo for $1500 for 5 months. The school was half-Spanish, half-English and outdoors. It costs $900 per month for both kids to attend. I believe day care in Santa Cruz costs us $3200 per month. Now we’re back, kids are in public school, we’re working again and feel fulfilled by our time together.” — Meaghan Johnson

What advice do people have for first-time parents?

“Maximize your parental leave if you have it by taking it at different times. For example, I took my full leave immediately. My spouse took three weeks after the birth and then will finish his leave when I return to work. So our baby will be almost 10 months old before needing care. Since infant care is more expensive, this saves a lot of money.” — Heidi

“Nanny-share as long as you can and take advantage of family groups. Also, some childcare programs offer discounts if you can teach a skill. One of us always taught music classes for a discounted rate and that requires a flexible work arrangement. Many people we know wake up early (like 3 to 4 a.m.) to work from home while the kids are sleeping or have part-time child care from like 9 a.m. to 1 p.m., then provide child care until they fall asleep. Crazy! But it works for them and they feel like it’s worth it to be present for their children instead of hiring a nanny or paying for full-time child care.” — Heather Quinones

“My advice would be to tap into local Facebook mom groups. In Alameda, where I live, there is an infamous document created a few years ago with nearly every single day care option listed on a Google Sheet. It included crowdsourced details on costs, meals, schedule, age limits, languages spoken, ratios, etc. That’s how I found my day care arrangement. Also, in-home is usually cheaper than a center.” — Shiantel 

“Make sure the day care is transparent and allows parents the choice to walk in and see at any time. We’ve seen instances of continuously understaffed day care. Try and find out if they’re flexible with drop-off and pickup times if work requires flexibility.” — Paul 

“My number one advice for stay-at-home parents: Gift yourself child care, even just a few hours a week. It will make you a better parent. It might save your marriage. It will certainly help save your sanity. It’s OK to need a break, to take care of yourself, and to have a few hours where you can have more than two consecutive thoughts without interruption.” — Monica Vaughan, who works part-time and pays $620 a month for 2 days of child care per week.

“Look for community mutual aid. Finding families who are open to swapping child care, pickups from school, etc., was one of the best things we’ve done to support the sustainability of our family.” — Lesley Paige 

“Try to get on a day care waitlist the moment you find out you are pregnant — that might help your kid get a spot, but it won’t help with the fact that affordable daycare is not something our society values, and you will have to pay a ton of money to ensure your child is being cared for while you’re at work. Hopefully, we can work to create a world where our children won’t be burdened with day care costs in the same way we are.” — Yasmine Mortazavi

Tell us: How much do you pay for child care?