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Mina Kim: Welcome to Forum. I’m Mina Kim. We take a closer look this hour at efforts to help address the high rate of suicide among autistic kids and teens. And if anyone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, resources include calling 988 or texting the word HOME to 741741.
It was only after their son, Anthony, died by suicide in May of 2024 that his parents, Neil and Samara Tricarico, learned about the specific risks facing autistic kids — and how the warning signs can look different from those in non-autistic teens, in ways even attentive parents can miss.
Now, the Tricaricos are determined to help others understand that missing piece through a nonprofit they founded called the Endurant Movement. Neil and Samara join me now. Thank you both for joining us. I really appreciate it.
Neil Tricarico: Thank you, Mina. Thank you for having us.
Mina Kim: And welcome to you as well, Samara. Thank you. I’d love to start by hearing more about Anthony. He sounded so oriented toward helping others.
Samara Tricario: Oh, he really was. Anthony was a bright light in everyone’s life that he had the opportunity to connect with — especially his friends. He was caring, giving, and often, if not always, put others’ needs before his own.
Mina Kim: Yeah. And Samara, I understand that Anthony did have a large friend group, but that he worked hard to mask his autism?
Samara Tricarico: Yeah. I mean, he really — I would say — studied and became an expert in social behavior, so much so that he presented in a way that made it seem like everything was great and going really well. He was almost disguising his autism. Many of his friends had no idea, because he really leaned into understanding societal norms and what was expected, and presented himself that way.
Mina Kim: Yeah. He was diagnosed at seven — is that right? And with all the interventions you were able to provide, at what point did he say he didn’t want those services any longer?
Samara Tricarico: Yeah. He went to a Montessori charter school that ended at sixth grade and had a middle school program. As he was transitioning out of elementary school and into middle school, he tested out of his IEP and tested out of ABA therapy. He met all the measurements — all the checkboxes — and didn’t want to receive services or special treatment any longer.
So in middle school, some of his friends knew him. But when he went on to high school, it was a fresh start — no concessions, no help.
Mina Kim: So then, Neil, when Anthony came to the two of you with suicidal thoughts, you did all the things parents are told to do. How did you respond?
Neil Tricarico: Yes. Initially, he hadn’t actually come to us. Thank God he shared with his best friend, who shared with his mom, and then his mom shared with us. That opened up the dialogue with Anthony.
And honestly, it was out of body. You hear those words, you know you’re having these conversations, but I felt like I was outside my body as it was happening. We did whatever we were told. We called 988. People came out. We met with counselors and followed where we were being led.
Mina Kim: And essentially, it sounds like the counselors determined that since Anthony didn’t have a plan, he wasn’t at immediate risk?
Samara Tricarico: Yeah. In retrospect, we noticed a seasonal pattern — spring, a time of change, was very difficult for him. The first time was freshman year, when he went to his friend’s mom. Sophomore year, he came to us directly.
When the county crisis intervention teams evaluated him, they said he didn’t have a plan. They recommended therapy and self-care — which he was already very good at. That wasn’t especially helpful.
We also had a therapist evaluation, and again, he didn’t articulate a plan. At that point, Anthony was convinced he needed help and hoped to get it in some sort of facility. We fought tooth and nail to get him into one.
Unfortunately, it didn’t serve him well. They didn’t have a normal bed for him, so they placed him in solitary confinement. It ended up imploding the other way — taking away hope. When he came out, he was so relieved just to have fresh air. He said he’d never go to a place like that again. It really didn’t help him.
Mina Kim: We’re talking with Neil and Samara Tricarico, founders of the Endurant Movement and parents of Anthony Tricarico, who died in 2024. Neil, how did you learn that the recommendations you were receiving — the treatments, the inpatient experience — were so different from what experts were learning about autistic kids struggling with suicide?
Neil Tricarico: What was confusing is that when we spoke with autism experts who had helped us through Anthony’s childhood, they didn’t have experience with mental health or suicidality. Then on the mental health side, when we shared that Anthony was autistic, we were told there were no special protocols.
So autism didn’t address suicide, and mental health didn’t address autism. It wasn’t until a few weeks after Anthony passed that an acquaintance reached out on Facebook and asked to speak with me. She shared statistics showing that kids ages 12 to 18 on the spectrum are nearly 30% more likely to die by suicide. My wife and I nearly fell out of our seats.
That started this journey — including learning from a psychiatrist, Dr. Gupta, in Pittsburgh — about approaches that were actually helping.
Mina Kim: What are you hoping to achieve through the Endurant Movement?
Neil Tricarico: When we learned those statistics and about the work being done in the U.K. and by Dr. Gupta, it became a moral obligation to help families facing what we faced. To make them aware that there are approaches helping teens and families through this — and that lives are being saved.
Samara Tricarico: And I’d add that while it’s a scary conversation and the statistics are frightening, as a parent of an autistic child, I would have wanted to know.
Neil Tricarico: Throughout the diagnostic process and services, we were prepared for challenges like bullying or difficulty making friends. In Anthony’s case, we were fortunate those didn’t happen. But never once was suicide discussed as a risk.
Mina Kim: And Samara, it sounds like you’re also saying it’s okay — even important — to talk directly about suicide?
Samara Tricarico: Absolutely. Anthony wanted and craved authentic conversation. It scared me deeply, but it was important. Having the strength to educate yourself and speak directly — it could save your child’s life.
Mina Kim: We’re coming up on a break, but Neil, is there anything else you’d want to tell parents of autistic kids who may be expressing suicidal thoughts?
Neil Tricarico: Keep your eyes, heart, and ears open. And remember: when we use the word disorder, we emphasize that something is wrong and needs fixing. Instead, we should help kids understand neurodiversity — like having blue eyes or brown eyes — and help them find their strengths, their tribes, their superheroes. This work is simple, common sense, and deeply important.
