‘Saying What You Won’t’ Podcast Sparks Dating Debates and Breakthroughs

With candid conversations about sexual fantasies, celebrity crushes and scandalous confessions, the Saying What You Won’t podcast has attracted a devout following.

Now, married hosts Monique and Alejandro “Baby Gas” Meraz are taking the show on the road with a California mini-tour that kicks off its Bay Area portion in San José on June 13.

“It’s some fun chaos,” Baby Gas says.

Saying What You Won’t leans into the raunchy and explicit. In episodes, well-known entertainers detail their sex lives. And at live events, audience members share intimate details with complete strangers.

“You might leave more open-minded,” Monique says.

Monique and Baby Gas set the tone for transparency by talking about their particular style of non-monogamy, where they both date women outside their relationship. The judgement-free zone they’ve created offers a bit of a balm for a contentious topic: the Bay Area’s dirty dating scene.

“It helps the general public by opening up conversations,” Baby Gas says. “Take one of our clips and show your partner. Spark that convo you’ve always wanted to spark.”

Since launching the show, first as an Instagram Live series during pandemic shutdowns, Monique and Baby Gas have covered a range of topics: favorite sexual positions, dreams about ex-lovers and even the art of feeding your blindfolded partner something random from your cabinet.

“If you got some cumin in there, give her a spoonful of that,” Baby Gas jokes, referring to an earlier segment. And while there’s plenty of humor and a bit of shock value, there’s also some profound points about how we can all more genuinely relate to one another.

“We’re living in a generation where the divorce rate is high as hell,” says Baby Gas. “Marriages are down. Commitment? People are scared of commitment. Dating in the Bay Area? People have certain fears or PTSD.”

Baby Gas says this region “is super player,” and unfortunately the term has two definitions.

“You can either keep it player” or “be a player,” he says. Keeping it player refers to being transparent and putting all your cards on the table, letting your partner make an informed decision.

Baby Gas puts it simply: “If you want to rock with me, you’re going to rock me.”

On the other side of the coin, “being a player” alludes to a trickster — someone who uses their “mouthpiece” to mislead.

“That’s why people have insecurities,” he surmises, noting that dishonesty is not gender-specific. Having hard, transparent conversations in a safe place is the remedy.

That’s not only the basis for the podcast, it’s the foundation for Monique and Baby Gas’ friendship, a bond that has grown into a uniquely Bay Area version of a healthy relationship.

“We just we talk a lot of shit to each other,” Monique says, reflecting on their union and the origins of the podcast. They regularly debate about aliens or the type of women she likes versus the type he likes.

“We started as friends first,” she adds, “and we’ve just always kept that, we still talk to each other like friends.”

The husband and wife come from different backgrounds. Baby Gas is an outspoken lyricist from the hood, and Monique is a relatively shy creative from the suburbs.

Baby Gas at one point held down the Oakland imprint of the Thizz Latin label. After releasing notable songs like 2016’s “30 On Me” and 2019’s “Life In The Ghetto,” featuring E-40, he took a brief hiatus from music to focus on family. He returned to the scene at the top of 2026 with his album Ghetto Vato 2: Siempre Ghetto, which features the anthem “La Raza.”

“I definitely make sure that I utilize my platform for my people,” says Baby Gas, whose parents are from Mexico and El Salvador. Raised in East Oakland in a majority African American community, Baby Gas recalls performing tributes to Harriet Tubman and singing the Black National Anthem, “Lift Every Voice and Sing,” as a kid. Those experiences still influence his art.

“I speak for Black and Brown communities at the end of the day,” he says.

Monique, who is from Vacaville, was born to a Salvadorian mother and a Creole father whose roots go back five generations in Richmond. Growing up as a mixed kid, she says, came with its own particular set of challenges. “My school was predominantly either white or Hispanic, so sometimes it was hard for me to fit in,” Monique says.

Monique found solace in storytelling, and is now getting ready to publish her first book later this summer.

“I have a character, it’s called Demohnia” she says, describing an animated being with horns and a halo, an ode to the duality of her Gemini astrological sign. Based in a dark fantasy, complete with metaphors and parallels to her own lived experience, Monique says creating this story has been a form of therapy for her.

“It’s not super bright rainbows,” she warns. Her world is murky with traces of light piercing through. “Demohnia was a character that just lingered in my head as a kid,” Monique explains. “She’s really like my alter ego.”

While discussing the couple’s many creative pursuits, Baby Gas is clear: “Before the artistry, we’re parents.” They’re raising five children, which adds fodder to their podcast discussions. “We talk about kids, we talk about the struggles and the things that we run into while being a blended family,” Baby Gas says.

Much like their relationship, there’s a certain balance to the podcast.

In one episode, East Oakland standout rapper ALLBLACK shares that his idea of intimacy is “living” in his partner’s skin. And in another episode, Stockton rap star EBK Leebo opens up about growing past “thugging” and enjoying child-like joy with his friends.

In the end, each conversation revolves around sharing tender truths.

“Everybody always says ‘communication is key,’ right?” Baby Gas says. “But we believe that transparency is the key to it all.”

It took growth to get to this level of understanding, the couple admits. “If I say how I really feel or my opinion on this, I feel safe having conversations even if he might disagree,” Monique says.

“She’ll drop her opinion, I’ll drop my opinion,” adds Baby Gas, “and then we talk about it there, or once the guest leaves and the cameras stop rolling.” Never straying too far from the origins of their connection, he says, they readily take time to ask each other the hard questions: “So, what do you really think about that?”

The ‘Saying What You Won’t’ podcast has live shows throughout June and July in San José, San Francisco, Modesto, Fresno and Los Angeles. Event details here.