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The Do List

Don’t Change the Channel on ACT’s Witty, Potent ‘Nobody Loves You’

Set on a reality TV dating show, ‘Nobody Loves You’ has excellent performances and a rich modern setting.
David John Chávez

A slender Black man in a yellow suit points to the right while young contestants in colorful clothes stand against a blue wall
Jason Veasey (far right) with Ana Yi Puig, Seth Hanson, Molly Hager, A.J. Holmes and John-Michael Lyles (background, L–R) in ‘Nobody Loves You’ at ACT. (Kevin Berne)

Are there any bigger losers than winners of a dating show?

In American Conservatory Theater’s stupendous production of Nobody Loves You, the answer is a resounding yes. As in, yes, everyone involved with reality dating shows are gluttons for embarrassment on a national level.

The action revolves around Jeff (A.J. Holmes), whose bouncy girlfriend Tanya (Ashley D. Williams, in multiple roles) locks in with the rest of the country to see who will be told “nobody loves you,” the popular sign-off where losers of the same-named reality dating show are reminded just how undesirable they are.

(L–R) Ana Yi Puig, Molly Hager, A.J. Holmes, Seth Hanson, and John-Michael Lyles in ‘Nobody Loves You’ at ACT. (Kevin Berne)

Jeff, who is much more consumed with trying to find a philosophy dissertation focus, soon realizes that he can explore the sociological impact of reality dating, where spontaneous meet cutes are impromptu only until a director asks for a re-shoot with a new camera angle. And if he can infiltrate the operation as a covert contestant, he can not only win back Tanya, but expose the rot within the genre, allowing grateful citizens to someday welcome him as their great liberator.

But how does one with only a Ph.D mandate and dreams of destruction take down a billion-dollar entertainment juggernaut? What awaits Jeff is a societal microcosm, a merry band of narcissists ready for inane competitions to obtain sweet, sweet lovin’. The capricious nature of what plays well for the millions of fans who hang on every vapidity make this level of “reality” as truthful as a three-dollar bill.

Nobody Loves You is created by two Berkeley natives and childhood friends – Tony-winning playwright Itamar Moses and composer Gaby Alter, who clearly understand what makes reality shows tick. There are opposites who attract when they really don’t, such as the Jesus-loving, aptly named Christian (Seth Hanson), paired with party girl Megan (Molly Hager), who does what she can to bring sexy back when a sauna is her dance partner.

Molly Hager and Seth Hanson in ‘Nobody Loves You’ at ACT. (Kevin Berne)

A third complication comes aboard in the form of Samantha (Ana Yi Puig), a third grade teacher looking for love and validation. But just like smarmy, silky-smooth soul singer and vacuous show host Byron (Jason Veasey) clearly states, triangles and love make for poor bedfellows, a dazzling soul tune accompanying the point.

What makes the show especially delightful is the way it both handles and exploits the minutiae of the reality-TV world under Pam MacKinnon’s assured direction. Whether it’s doing the tango while trying to avoid a truth mine, embarking on an “Intense Crush Ceremony” or watching the grand finale two-hour special the day before the actual grand finale two-hour special, Moses’ script goes wild with wit.

Those witticisms spill towards a different kind of tango when the freshly-freed Jeff meets the show’s assistant producer, who feels the same about the reality genre. Jenny (Kuhoo Verma) has big plans to lean into her unapologetic femininity as a documentarian, a dream most definitely deferred. Can both of these curious, pensive souls avoid the pitfalls of this plastic world of Crush Ceremony Mix CDs?

(L-R) Molly Hager, John-Michael Lyles, Ana Yi Puig and Seth Hanson in ‘Nobody Loves
You’ at ACT. (Kevin Berne)

The magic of MacKinnon’s succinct pacing alongside Steph Paul’s snazzy choreography make this story tight and compact. It doesn’t hurt that the cast is full of of triple-threat talent that doesn’t let up. Hanson, Hager and Puig are terrific at playing the sacrificial lambs for mass entertainment, hoofing and bleating as the chaos unfolds. Holmes excels at divvying up Jeff’s own inner torture and conflicted feelings, and Williams plays well with the audience, providing a nod and a wink to let them in on inside jokes.

As the host, Veasey channels James Ingram, with dashes of Barry White and Luther Vandross; his costumes (designed by Sarita Fellows) seem to indicate that the sequin store is missing most of its stash. The frenetically hilarious John-Michael Lyles, and his turn as Evan, reveals a joyous dance with this genre in the show’s waning moments.

Yet the most potent number belongs to Verma, who rattles off “Jenny’s Song” within a moment of personal tragedy, and drills into every ounce of the tune’s pure intentions with assured gravitas. Sure, the job sucked, but when you’re young, and connections that’ve taken years to build go poof, it’s a tough thing to reckon with.

John-Michael Lyles and Kuhoo Verma in ‘Nobody Loves You’ at ACT. (Kevin Berne)

Mindless entertainment is a necessary evil. With perceived triumphs and consequences in every episode, reality television appeals to our inner voyeur and allows our own placement atop the societal pyramid.

While Nobody Loves You can offer pure laughs — and reality shows may lead the league in unintentional comedy — there’s a hint of melancholia in watching folks debase themselves in pursuit of love, the thing we all strive to obtain. As Jenny says with potency, “You can perform or you can connect, but you can’t do both at the same time.”

Whether or not there’s truth in that sentiment, rest assured that the 15 seniors looking for love in “Golden Nobody Loves You” will be trying to prove Jenny wrong.

‘Nobody Loves You’ runs through March 30 at the Toni Rembe Theater in San Francisco. Details here.

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