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Her first book, Monster Party, was released in December of 2010 by Small Desk Press.","avatar":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/659fd561ef42f446dfa609a7be2e5383?s=600&d=blank&r=g","twitter":"lizzzyacker","facebook":"lizzy.acker","instagram":null,"linkedin":null,"sites":[{"site":"pop","roles":["contributor"]}],"headData":{"title":"Lizzy Acker | KQED","description":null,"ogImgSrc":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/659fd561ef42f446dfa609a7be2e5383?s=600&d=blank&r=g","twImgSrc":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/659fd561ef42f446dfa609a7be2e5383?s=600&d=blank&r=g"},"isLoading":false,"link":"/author/lizzyacker"},"lauraschadler":{"type":"authors","id":"2415","meta":{"index":"authors_1591205172","id":"2415","found":true},"name":"Laura Schadler","firstName":"Laura","lastName":"Schadler","slug":"lauraschadler","email":"lauraschadler@gmail.com","display_author_email":false,"staff_mastheads":[],"title":null,"bio":"Laura Schadler grew up in the mountains of Virginia. She studied filmmaking at Bard College, and writing at California College of the Arts. Her fiction has appeared in The Southern Review, Denver Quarterly, Gettysburg Review, Fourteen Hills, and West Branch Wired, among others. She teaches writing and is currently working on a novel.","avatar":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/54b3e2bf5ef54f0355e347c12eb0a368?s=600&d=blank&r=g","twitter":"lauraschadler","facebook":null,"instagram":null,"linkedin":null,"sites":[{"site":"pop","roles":["contributor"]}],"headData":{"title":"Laura Schadler | KQED","description":null,"ogImgSrc":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/54b3e2bf5ef54f0355e347c12eb0a368?s=600&d=blank&r=g","twImgSrc":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/54b3e2bf5ef54f0355e347c12eb0a368?s=600&d=blank&r=g"},"isLoading":false,"link":"/author/lauraschadler"},"natewaggoner":{"type":"authors","id":"2422","meta":{"index":"authors_1591205172","id":"2422","found":true},"name":"Nate Waggoner","firstName":"Nate","lastName":"Waggoner","slug":"natewaggoner","email":"natewaggoner87@gmail.com","display_author_email":false,"staff_mastheads":[],"title":null,"bio":"Nate Waggoner's writing has appeared on SFWeekly.com, thefanzine.com, and in Sparkle & Blink. He has read at KQED’s New Kids on the Block Litcrawl event, Quiet Lightning, Bang Out, 851, and Write Club SF. He and his ex-girlfriend host a podcast called “Invitation to Love,” which is available on iTunes. He is the author of a comic book called \"A Lifetime of Free Haircuts.\" He is an MFA candidate in Fiction at San Francisco State University.","avatar":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/e14b8951d8895c262c0d4b3eadc54f23?s=600&d=blank&r=g","twitter":"NathanielWagg","facebook":null,"instagram":null,"linkedin":null,"sites":[{"site":"pop","roles":["contributor"]}],"headData":{"title":"Nate Waggoner | KQED","description":null,"ogImgSrc":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/e14b8951d8895c262c0d4b3eadc54f23?s=600&d=blank&r=g","twImgSrc":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/e14b8951d8895c262c0d4b3eadc54f23?s=600&d=blank&r=g"},"isLoading":false,"link":"/author/natewaggoner"}},"breakingNewsReducer":{},"campaignFinanceReducer":{},"firebase":{"requesting":{},"requested":{},"timestamps":{},"data":{},"ordered":{},"auth":{"isLoaded":false,"isEmpty":true},"authError":null,"profile":{"isLoaded":false,"isEmpty":true},"listeners":{"byId":{},"allIds":[]},"isInitializing":false,"errors":[]},"navBarReducer":{"navBarId":"arts","fullView":true,"showPlayer":false},"navMenuReducer":{"menus":[{"key":"menu1","items":[{"name":"News","link":"/","type":"title"},{"name":"Politics","link":"/politics"},{"name":"Science","link":"/science"},{"name":"Education","link":"/educationnews"},{"name":"Housing","link":"/housing"},{"name":"Immigration","link":"/immigration"},{"name":"Criminal Justice","link":"/criminaljustice"},{"name":"Silicon Valley","link":"/siliconvalley"},{"name":"Forum","link":"/forum"},{"name":"The California Report","link":"/californiareport"}]},{"key":"menu2","items":[{"name":"Arts & Culture","link":"/arts","type":"title"},{"name":"Critics’ Picks","link":"/thedolist"},{"name":"Cultural Commentary","link":"/artscommentary"},{"name":"Food & Drink","link":"/food"},{"name":"Bay Area Hip-Hop","link":"/bayareahiphop"},{"name":"Rebel Girls","link":"/rebelgirls"},{"name":"Arts Video","link":"/artsvideos"}]},{"key":"menu3","items":[{"name":"Podcasts","link":"/podcasts","type":"title"},{"name":"Bay Curious","link":"/podcasts/baycurious"},{"name":"Rightnowish","link":"/podcasts/rightnowish"},{"name":"The Bay","link":"/podcasts/thebay"},{"name":"On Our Watch","link":"/podcasts/onourwatch"},{"name":"Mindshift","link":"/podcasts/mindshift"},{"name":"Consider This","link":"/podcasts/considerthis"},{"name":"Political Breakdown","link":"/podcasts/politicalbreakdown"}]},{"key":"menu4","items":[{"name":"Live Radio","link":"/radio","type":"title"},{"name":"TV","link":"/tv","type":"title"},{"name":"Events","link":"/events","type":"title"},{"name":"For Educators","link":"/education","type":"title"},{"name":"Support KQED","link":"/support","type":"title"},{"name":"About","link":"/about","type":"title"},{"name":"Help Center","link":"https://kqed-helpcenter.kqed.org/s","type":"title"}]}]},"pagesReducer":{},"postsReducer":{"stream_live":{"type":"live","id":"stream_live","audioUrl":"https://streams.kqed.org/kqedradio","title":"Live Stream","excerpt":"Live Stream information currently unavailable.","link":"/radio","featImg":"","label":{"name":"KQED Live","link":"/"}},"stream_kqedNewscast":{"type":"posts","id":"stream_kqedNewscast","audioUrl":"https://www.kqed.org/.stream/anon/radio/RDnews/newscast.mp3?_=1","title":"KQED Newscast","featImg":"","label":{"name":"88.5 FM","link":"/"}},"pop_103401":{"type":"posts","id":"pop_103401","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"pop","id":"103401","score":null,"sort":[1525291506000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"is-americas-love-of-facebook-just-temporary-insanity","title":"Is America's Love of Facebook Just Temporary Insanity?","publishDate":1525291506,"format":"standard","headTitle":"KQED Pop | KQED Arts","labelTerm":{"site":"pop"},"content":"\u003cp>When Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg was \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2018/04/10/599808766/i-m-responsible-for-what-happens-at-facebook-mark-zuckerberg-will-tell-senate\">grilled on Capitol Hill\u003c/a> last month, Sen. Lindsey Graham asked him whether his company faces any real competition: \"If I buy a Ford, and it doesn't work well, and I don't like it, I can buy a Chevy. If I'm upset with Facebook, what's the equivalent product that I can go sign up for?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ZNqZxVt1g4\">Zuckerberg replied\u003c/a> that many companies offer a version of some of the services that Facebook does.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"You don't think you have a monopoly?\" Graham asked.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It certainly doesn't feel like that to me,\" Zuckerberg answered.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For almost as long as people have been using Facebook, people have been \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2018/03/21/595791340/will-facebooks-cambridge-analytica-scandal-actually-cause-users-to-delete-the-ap\">talking about quitting Facebook\u003c/a>. The reasons tend to ebb and flow, depending on whether concerns about privacy, democracy or mental health are grabbing the headlines that week.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But the reasons for staying remain pretty much the same: All our friends are here, and where would we go instead?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For all its ubiquity, Facebook is only 14 years old, and just because it's dominant now doesn't mean it always will be.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Given all the evident problems with Facebook's current design, I began to wonder: What might a better social network look like? And why aren't we on it yet?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>The best parts of Facebook\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I really think Facebook is destructive, so I've been doing that thought experiment pretty often,\" says mathematician and data scientist Cathy O'Neil. She is the author of \u003cem>Weapons of Math Destruction\u003c/em>, a book about \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2018/01/26/580617998/cathy-oneil-do-algorithms-perpetuate-human-bias\">the potentially dangerous consequences of algorithms\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She imagines the next social network as having the best parts of Facebook, without the worst parts: \"Basically a town square where people can interact. They can keep up with each other, from their high school friends or their grandmothers ... but without sort of commercial predatory aspect of Facebook.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Her network would have a moderator curating the conversation, and it would be a nonprofit, without tailored advertising. But she doesn't want the government to run the system, either.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I think people have reasonable concerns about who owns their data even if it's not consumer data,\" she says. \"Even if it's just 'Who are my friends?' If that is all owned by the government and centralized — that's a problem in itself. That's exactly the kind of problem that we worry about when we hear about like the NSA having access to the metadata around our phone calls.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>A decentralized model\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ethan Zuckerman is director of the Center for Civic Media at the MIT Media Lab. He also thinks the corporate, monopolistic structure of Facebook is worth rethinking.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Facebook has an awful lot of power by virtue of the fact that you have a single company making decisions for about 2 billion people all around the world,\" he says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Zuckerman says the next iteration of social networks could be decentralized, instead of run by one company. One example of this is a network that already exists, called \u003ca href=\"https://joinmastodon.org/\">Mastodon\u003c/a>. It looks like Twitter, but it's open source: Anyone can create their own community, hosted on their own server, with their own rules.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"There's lots of little Mastodon servers that have anywhere from a few hundred to a few tens of thousands of people on one another,\" he explains. \"But they confederate: You can share information between those servers.\" And while the service doesn't have tons of users so far, Zuckerman says the architecture seems sound.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_103405\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-103405\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/05/markus-spiske-221494-unsplash-800x533.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/05/markus-spiske-221494-unsplash-800x533.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/05/markus-spiske-221494-unsplash-160x107.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/05/markus-spiske-221494-unsplash-768x512.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/05/markus-spiske-221494-unsplash-1020x680.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/05/markus-spiske-221494-unsplash-1200x800.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/05/markus-spiske-221494-unsplash-1920x1280.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/05/markus-spiske-221494-unsplash-1180x787.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/05/markus-spiske-221494-unsplash-960x640.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/05/markus-spiske-221494-unsplash-240x160.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/05/markus-spiske-221494-unsplash-375x250.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/05/markus-spiske-221494-unsplash-520x347.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: Markus Spiske on Unsplash\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>The algorithm\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Another aspect of Facebook that is ripe for reinvention is the algorithm that sits behind the news feed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We don't really have control over the algorithms that sort our information and choose what we see or don't see,\" says Zuckerman.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He and his MIT colleagues have built an experimental platform called \u003ca href=\"https://gobo.social/\">Gobo\u003c/a>, which allows users to tinker with the algorithms on your Facebook and Twitter feeds as you see fit – so they can get more news and less entertainment, or filter for more civil content and less rude content. They can also change the balance of men and women.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"So you can say things like 'I'd like to hear from more women in my feed,' 'Mute all the men!' \" Zuckerman explains.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>O'Neil also sees major problems with Facebook's algorithm, which she says \"privileges outrage.\" In her ideal social network, the data scientists would design algorithms \"to optimize to civil disagreement, and possibly even truth.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>The thought experiment\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's both fun, and tricky, to think about what a better social network looks like.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Should it be \u003ca href=\"https://frontporchforum.com/\">bounded by geography\u003c/a>, so it's easier to meet your neighbors? Or is it a place to meet far-flung \u003ca href=\"https://www.ravelry.com/about\">kindred spirits\u003c/a>?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Do you use your real name or do you keep personal data out of it?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Maybe you pay to use it, or maybe it pays \u003cem>you \u003c/em>to use it. And instead of being owned by a corporation, what if it were \u003ca href=\"https://www.inc.com/business-insider/twitter-shareholder-cooperative-user-owned-jack-dorsey.html\">run as a cooperative\u003c/a>?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We might be better off if we didn't rely on one social network to do so many things, Zuckerman says. \"We might choose to have a bunch of different networks and figure out how to link them together. It's a bit crazy that we have one social network that tries to do everything. Imagine that we had one website that tried to do everything. We had those for a while — they were called portals. and they didn't go very well.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>A Different Future\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Two-thirds of American adults \u003ca href=\"http://www.pewinternet.org/2018/03/01/social-media-use-in-2018/\">use Facebook\u003c/a>, and three-quarters of those use it every day.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because of the network effect — that is, you want to go where your friends already are — it can be hard for a new social network to take off.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And Zuckerman says that when other, innovative networks have threatened Facebook's dominance — it simply copied them, \u003ca href=\"https://techcrunch.com/2017/05/16/to-clone-or-not-to-clone/\">as it did with Snapchat\u003c/a>, or it bought them, as it did with \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2012/04/10/150372288/instagram-sells-for-1-billion-despite-no-revenue\">Instagram\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2014/02/20/279987745/facebook-to-buy-whatsapp-message-service\">WhatsApp\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"The trick is right now Facebook has a quite effective monopoly,\" he says. \"So one possibility on this could be to try to constrain Facebook from swallowing other competitors.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But the network effect can cut both ways. If my friends start leaving the network, it'll be easier for me to leave, too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>O'Neil says she can imagine a number of scenarios in which a real alternative to Facebook emerges.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One such scenario is where people simply lose interest — that all of this \"was kind of temporary insanity that we all went through where we wanted to do this in the first place,\" she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There are indications that \u003ca href=\"https://www.recode.net/2018/1/31/16957546/facebook-time-spent-decline-mark-zuckerberg-explanation-q4-earnings-2018\">people are spending less time\u003c/a> on Facebook – but that probably doesn't matter much if they \u003ca href=\"https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2018-04-10/instagram-looks-like-facebook-s-best-hope\">simply migrate to Instagram\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And O'Neil notes that the fate of our social networks also depends on where in the world we are.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Some of the worst problems with Facebook are happening in other countries,\" she says. \"But in terms of the United States — I can imagine it just not lasting.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2018 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=As+Facebook+Shows+Its+Flaws%2C+What+Might+A+Better+Social+Network+Look+Like%3F&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Experts are already designing the next social networks—and they look a lot different.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1525284326,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":43,"wordCount":1203},"headData":{"title":"Is America's Love of Facebook Just Temporary Insanity? | KQED","description":"Experts are already designing the next social networks—and they look a lot different.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"Article","headline":"Is America's Love of Facebook Just Temporary Insanity?","datePublished":"2018-05-02T20:05:06.000Z","dateModified":"2018-05-02T18:05:26.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}},"disqusIdentifier":"103401 https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/?p=103401","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2018/05/02/is-americas-love-of-facebook-just-temporary-insanity/","disqusTitle":"Is America's Love of Facebook Just Temporary Insanity?","nprByline":"Laurel Wamsley","nprImageAgency":"Chris Nickels for NPR","nprStoryId":"607361849","nprApiLink":"http://api.npr.org/query?id=607361849&apiKey=MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004","nprHtmlLink":"https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2018/05/01/607361849/as-facebook-shows-its-flaws-what-might-a-better-social-network-look-like?ft=nprml&f=607361849","nprRetrievedStory":"1","nprPubDate":"Tue, 01 May 2018 14:34:00 -0400","nprStoryDate":"Tue, 01 May 2018 11:34:00 -0400","nprLastModifiedDate":"Tue, 01 May 2018 14:34:52 -0400","nprAudio":"https://ondemand.npr.org/anon.npr-mp3/npr/me/2018/05/20180501_me_designing_a_better_facebook.mp3?orgId=1&topicId=1019&d=278&story=607361849&ft=nprml&f=607361849","nprAudioM3u":"http://api.npr.org/m3u/1607381812-37d745.m3u?orgId=1&topicId=1019&d=278&story=607361849&ft=nprml&f=607361849","path":"/pop/103401/is-americas-love-of-facebook-just-temporary-insanity","audioUrl":"https://ondemand.npr.org/anon.npr-mp3/npr/me/2018/05/20180501_me_designing_a_better_facebook.mp3?orgId=1&topicId=1019&d=278&story=607361849&ft=nprml&f=607361849","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>When Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg was \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2018/04/10/599808766/i-m-responsible-for-what-happens-at-facebook-mark-zuckerberg-will-tell-senate\">grilled on Capitol Hill\u003c/a> last month, Sen. Lindsey Graham asked him whether his company faces any real competition: \"If I buy a Ford, and it doesn't work well, and I don't like it, I can buy a Chevy. If I'm upset with Facebook, what's the equivalent product that I can go sign up for?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ZNqZxVt1g4\">Zuckerberg replied\u003c/a> that many companies offer a version of some of the services that Facebook does.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"You don't think you have a monopoly?\" Graham asked.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It certainly doesn't feel like that to me,\" Zuckerberg answered.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For almost as long as people have been using Facebook, people have been \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2018/03/21/595791340/will-facebooks-cambridge-analytica-scandal-actually-cause-users-to-delete-the-ap\">talking about quitting Facebook\u003c/a>. The reasons tend to ebb and flow, depending on whether concerns about privacy, democracy or mental health are grabbing the headlines that week.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But the reasons for staying remain pretty much the same: All our friends are here, and where would we go instead?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For all its ubiquity, Facebook is only 14 years old, and just because it's dominant now doesn't mean it always will be.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Given all the evident problems with Facebook's current design, I began to wonder: What might a better social network look like? And why aren't we on it yet?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>The best parts of Facebook\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I really think Facebook is destructive, so I've been doing that thought experiment pretty often,\" says mathematician and data scientist Cathy O'Neil. She is the author of \u003cem>Weapons of Math Destruction\u003c/em>, a book about \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2018/01/26/580617998/cathy-oneil-do-algorithms-perpetuate-human-bias\">the potentially dangerous consequences of algorithms\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She imagines the next social network as having the best parts of Facebook, without the worst parts: \"Basically a town square where people can interact. They can keep up with each other, from their high school friends or their grandmothers ... but without sort of commercial predatory aspect of Facebook.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Her network would have a moderator curating the conversation, and it would be a nonprofit, without tailored advertising. But she doesn't want the government to run the system, either.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I think people have reasonable concerns about who owns their data even if it's not consumer data,\" she says. \"Even if it's just 'Who are my friends?' If that is all owned by the government and centralized — that's a problem in itself. That's exactly the kind of problem that we worry about when we hear about like the NSA having access to the metadata around our phone calls.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>A decentralized model\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ethan Zuckerman is director of the Center for Civic Media at the MIT Media Lab. He also thinks the corporate, monopolistic structure of Facebook is worth rethinking.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Facebook has an awful lot of power by virtue of the fact that you have a single company making decisions for about 2 billion people all around the world,\" he says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Zuckerman says the next iteration of social networks could be decentralized, instead of run by one company. One example of this is a network that already exists, called \u003ca href=\"https://joinmastodon.org/\">Mastodon\u003c/a>. It looks like Twitter, but it's open source: Anyone can create their own community, hosted on their own server, with their own rules.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"There's lots of little Mastodon servers that have anywhere from a few hundred to a few tens of thousands of people on one another,\" he explains. \"But they confederate: You can share information between those servers.\" And while the service doesn't have tons of users so far, Zuckerman says the architecture seems sound.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_103405\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-103405\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/05/markus-spiske-221494-unsplash-800x533.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/05/markus-spiske-221494-unsplash-800x533.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/05/markus-spiske-221494-unsplash-160x107.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/05/markus-spiske-221494-unsplash-768x512.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/05/markus-spiske-221494-unsplash-1020x680.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/05/markus-spiske-221494-unsplash-1200x800.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/05/markus-spiske-221494-unsplash-1920x1280.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/05/markus-spiske-221494-unsplash-1180x787.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/05/markus-spiske-221494-unsplash-960x640.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/05/markus-spiske-221494-unsplash-240x160.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/05/markus-spiske-221494-unsplash-375x250.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/05/markus-spiske-221494-unsplash-520x347.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: Markus Spiske on Unsplash\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>The algorithm\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Another aspect of Facebook that is ripe for reinvention is the algorithm that sits behind the news feed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We don't really have control over the algorithms that sort our information and choose what we see or don't see,\" says Zuckerman.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He and his MIT colleagues have built an experimental platform called \u003ca href=\"https://gobo.social/\">Gobo\u003c/a>, which allows users to tinker with the algorithms on your Facebook and Twitter feeds as you see fit – so they can get more news and less entertainment, or filter for more civil content and less rude content. They can also change the balance of men and women.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"So you can say things like 'I'd like to hear from more women in my feed,' 'Mute all the men!' \" Zuckerman explains.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>O'Neil also sees major problems with Facebook's algorithm, which she says \"privileges outrage.\" In her ideal social network, the data scientists would design algorithms \"to optimize to civil disagreement, and possibly even truth.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>The thought experiment\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's both fun, and tricky, to think about what a better social network looks like.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Should it be \u003ca href=\"https://frontporchforum.com/\">bounded by geography\u003c/a>, so it's easier to meet your neighbors? Or is it a place to meet far-flung \u003ca href=\"https://www.ravelry.com/about\">kindred spirits\u003c/a>?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Do you use your real name or do you keep personal data out of it?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Maybe you pay to use it, or maybe it pays \u003cem>you \u003c/em>to use it. And instead of being owned by a corporation, what if it were \u003ca href=\"https://www.inc.com/business-insider/twitter-shareholder-cooperative-user-owned-jack-dorsey.html\">run as a cooperative\u003c/a>?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We might be better off if we didn't rely on one social network to do so many things, Zuckerman says. \"We might choose to have a bunch of different networks and figure out how to link them together. It's a bit crazy that we have one social network that tries to do everything. Imagine that we had one website that tried to do everything. We had those for a while — they were called portals. and they didn't go very well.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>A Different Future\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Two-thirds of American adults \u003ca href=\"http://www.pewinternet.org/2018/03/01/social-media-use-in-2018/\">use Facebook\u003c/a>, and three-quarters of those use it every day.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because of the network effect — that is, you want to go where your friends already are — it can be hard for a new social network to take off.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And Zuckerman says that when other, innovative networks have threatened Facebook's dominance — it simply copied them, \u003ca href=\"https://techcrunch.com/2017/05/16/to-clone-or-not-to-clone/\">as it did with Snapchat\u003c/a>, or it bought them, as it did with \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2012/04/10/150372288/instagram-sells-for-1-billion-despite-no-revenue\">Instagram\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2014/02/20/279987745/facebook-to-buy-whatsapp-message-service\">WhatsApp\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"The trick is right now Facebook has a quite effective monopoly,\" he says. \"So one possibility on this could be to try to constrain Facebook from swallowing other competitors.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But the network effect can cut both ways. If my friends start leaving the network, it'll be easier for me to leave, too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>O'Neil says she can imagine a number of scenarios in which a real alternative to Facebook emerges.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One such scenario is where people simply lose interest — that all of this \"was kind of temporary insanity that we all went through where we wanted to do this in the first place,\" she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There are indications that \u003ca href=\"https://www.recode.net/2018/1/31/16957546/facebook-time-spent-decline-mark-zuckerberg-explanation-q4-earnings-2018\">people are spending less time\u003c/a> on Facebook – but that probably doesn't matter much if they \u003ca href=\"https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2018-04-10/instagram-looks-like-facebook-s-best-hope\">simply migrate to Instagram\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And O'Neil notes that the fate of our social networks also depends on where in the world we are.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Some of the worst problems with Facebook are happening in other countries,\" she says. \"But in terms of the United States — I can imagine it just not lasting.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2018 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=As+Facebook+Shows+Its+Flaws%2C+What+Might+A+Better+Social+Network+Look+Like%3F&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/pop/103401/is-americas-love-of-facebook-just-temporary-insanity","authors":["byline_pop_103401"],"categories":["pop_5"],"tags":["pop_360","pop_1184"],"featImg":"pop_103404","label":"pop"},"pop_13621":{"type":"posts","id":"pop_13621","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"pop","id":"13621","score":null,"sort":[1411653767000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"ello-a-hopeful-meeting-place-for-people-fed-up-with-facebook","title":"Ello: A Hopeful Meeting Place for People Fed Up With Facebook","publishDate":1411653767,"format":"aside","headTitle":"KQED Pop | KQED Arts","labelTerm":{"site":"pop"},"content":"\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-13660\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2014/09/fb.jpg\" alt=\"fb\" width=\"640\" height=\"380\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2014/09/fb.jpg 640w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2014/09/fb-360x213.jpg 360w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2014/09/fb-300x178.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I picture the internet as a surreal landscape, a place with textures and sensations, a location full of the mundane, the miraculous and the ominous. This visualization was heightened upon my discovery of Debbie Millman's \u003ca href=\"http://gizmodo.com/an-embroidered-map-of-arpanet-the-infant-internet-1549082868\">embroidery project\u003c/a> depicting the early internet, and continued when I saw \u003ca href=\"http://www.cnn.com/2014/03/04/tech/gallery/internet-undersea-cables/\">maps of undersea wiring\u003c/a> wrapped around the entire world, carrying the internet inside. So the websites we visit are glimmering electricity underneath the ocean, a living energy and geography, a terrain to navigate.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This morning, that navigation led me to a new social networking site called \u003ca href=\"http://www.firstpost.com/living/hello-ello-goodbye-facebook-social-media-network-without-ads-woos-us-users-1727967.html\">Ello\u003c/a>. Ello has a \u003ca href=\"https://ello.co/wtf/post/manifesto\">manifesto\u003c/a>, is still in beta, and is currently invite-only. It crashes a lot and is very slow. It posted a message from me to my sister three times and then wouldn't let me delete the extra two and then deleted all three. However, I love all of these qualities because they indicate something new is happening. Perhaps our post-Facebook era can really begin now. Ello faces many challenges in a playing field dominated by titans and the perennial question of how anything ad-free can be sustainable. Not to mention, there's no \"like\" button (how will I demonstrate I like something?). These and other concerns occur to me as I try to understand the unfamiliar interface, soak in the novelty of the lovely typewriter-esque font and waste a Facebook-ian amount of time choosing my profile picture.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But, still, there is something astir as I write this. There's a little digital rumble: \u003ca href=\"http://www.queerty.com/is-ello-the-anti-facebook-social-network-weve-all-been-waiting-for-20140924\">articles are popping up\u003c/a>, Facebook friends are actually defecting. It might be wishful thinking, or it might be just a slight nudge of the paradigm. I'm rooting for the latter, but only time will tell. “People who say it's impossible to create something new imagine a stagnant future,\" says \u003ca href=\"http://www.dailydot.com/technology/ello-no-ads-social-web/\">Paul Budintz\u003c/a>, the creator of Ello. \"There's a kind of totalitarianism in that attitude. A lot of the data mining and manipulative behavior engaged in by big social networks has that flavor, a real arrogance and cynicism.” Ello was created as the antidote to that totalitarianism, and, if successful, might be able to fulfill a certain collective desire.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13638\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 360px\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2014/09/Ello-Manifesto.png\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-13638\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-13638 size-thumbnail\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2014/09/Ello-Manifesto-360x224.png\" alt=\"Ello Manifesto\" width=\"360\" height=\"224\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2014/09/Ello-Manifesto-360x224.png 360w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2014/09/Ello-Manifesto-300x187.png 300w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2014/09/Ello-Manifesto.png 867w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 360px) 100vw, 360px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Ello Manifesto.\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>I have no specific hope or expectation at this point, only a curiosity and anticipation about what will happen next. Perhaps nothing will come of Ello, perhaps there will not be the magnificent exodus and revolution I dream of today as I reload my crashed home page, the pleasing minimalist design reappearing on the third try. But I appreciate the potential in this moment, how it feels to participate in a place not muddled by ads, greed and money. It feels unencumbered by the obliviousness of technology merely for technology’s sake. Maybe, just maybe, we can re-set, start over, decide what it is we’re really doing here.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The philosopher Slavoj Zizek says, \"I secretly think that reality exists so we can speculate about it.\" And reality right now certainly is very strange and interesting, worthy of our most critical speculation. Our technological existence and our lived experiences are ever blurred, and with what repercussions? In his essay, \u003ca href=\"http://www.egs.edu/faculty/slavoj-zizek/articles/the-interpassive-subject/\">\"The Interpassive Subject\"\u003c/a>, Zizek explores the passive state that arises when we're ostensibly interacting, but actually aren't. Women hired to cry at funerals 0r canned laughter on television are compared to online personas in that our “most intimate feelings can be radically externalized.” Certainly social media is social media regardless of its incarnation, with certain trappings and tendencies. Yet, I can’t help but wonder how the intention, format, concept and context of a social network might influence the subsequent experience. Maybe we can move from our passivity to meaningful interaction.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I live in a city where Mark Zuckerburg himself is installing fiber optic cables under the sidewalk in front of his \u003ca href=\"http://www.businessinsider.com/mark-zuckerberg-construction-work-annoys-neighbors-2014-9\">new fortress\u003c/a>, mere blocks from my apartment, and where on a random Wednesday I walk out my door and interrupt a fashion shoot for a cell phone ad literally happening on my front stoop. On a lamppost half a block away from this photo shoot is an outraged Xeroxed collage, high school '90s style, an overlapping compilation of words including \u003ci>soul, luxury, innovation\u003c/i> and T\u003ci>witter\u003c/i> with images of bombs exploding and fancy cars. Imagine some frustrated person in the midst of their noisy, modern life stopping to cut up a magazine with a pair of scissors and some glue. Ello feels like it is \u003ca href=\"http://betabeat.com/2014/09/mysterious-social-network-ello-explodes-in-popularity-for-people-fleeing-facebook/\">that type of protestation \u003c/a>too, simple but dramatic, a much needed alternative.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Facebook, a place my teenage students have whole-heartedly abandoned, has been deemed \u003ca href=\"http://tech.firstpost.com/news-analysis/social-disease-facebook-lose-80-percent-user-2017-says-study-216822.html\">in danger of dying out like a disease\u003c/a>, and further rendered itself out of touch and irrelevant with its latest \u003ca href=\"http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/09/17/facebook-real-name-policy_n_5839912.html\">naming controversy\u003c/a>. A viable alternative that might help create a new kind of dynamic seems really exciting. As I send out my 25 allotted invites I feel a sort of pre-party giddiness. Who will show up? What will happen next? Ello is different than the lackluster contender of, say, Google Plus. In fact, the energy and buzz around Ello is reminiscent of the early 2000s, when I first found out, to my vague horror and fascination, that my new boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend was connected to my childhood friend, thanks to this thing called Friendster.\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Facebook friends are defecting and offering you an invite. So what's the deal with Ello?","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1412283983,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":10,"wordCount":922},"headData":{"title":"Ello: A Hopeful Meeting Place for People Fed Up With Facebook | KQED","description":"Facebook friends are defecting and offering you an invite. So what's the deal with Ello?","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"Article","headline":"Ello: A Hopeful Meeting Place for People Fed Up With Facebook","datePublished":"2014-09-25T14:02:47.000Z","dateModified":"2014-10-02T21:06:23.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}},"disqusIdentifier":"13621 http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/?p=13621","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2014/09/25/ello-a-hopeful-meeting-place-for-people-fed-up-with-facebook/","disqusTitle":"Ello: A Hopeful Meeting Place for People Fed Up With Facebook","path":"/pop/13621/ello-a-hopeful-meeting-place-for-people-fed-up-with-facebook","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-13660\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2014/09/fb.jpg\" alt=\"fb\" width=\"640\" height=\"380\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2014/09/fb.jpg 640w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2014/09/fb-360x213.jpg 360w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2014/09/fb-300x178.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I picture the internet as a surreal landscape, a place with textures and sensations, a location full of the mundane, the miraculous and the ominous. This visualization was heightened upon my discovery of Debbie Millman's \u003ca href=\"http://gizmodo.com/an-embroidered-map-of-arpanet-the-infant-internet-1549082868\">embroidery project\u003c/a> depicting the early internet, and continued when I saw \u003ca href=\"http://www.cnn.com/2014/03/04/tech/gallery/internet-undersea-cables/\">maps of undersea wiring\u003c/a> wrapped around the entire world, carrying the internet inside. So the websites we visit are glimmering electricity underneath the ocean, a living energy and geography, a terrain to navigate.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This morning, that navigation led me to a new social networking site called \u003ca href=\"http://www.firstpost.com/living/hello-ello-goodbye-facebook-social-media-network-without-ads-woos-us-users-1727967.html\">Ello\u003c/a>. Ello has a \u003ca href=\"https://ello.co/wtf/post/manifesto\">manifesto\u003c/a>, is still in beta, and is currently invite-only. It crashes a lot and is very slow. It posted a message from me to my sister three times and then wouldn't let me delete the extra two and then deleted all three. However, I love all of these qualities because they indicate something new is happening. Perhaps our post-Facebook era can really begin now. Ello faces many challenges in a playing field dominated by titans and the perennial question of how anything ad-free can be sustainable. Not to mention, there's no \"like\" button (how will I demonstrate I like something?). These and other concerns occur to me as I try to understand the unfamiliar interface, soak in the novelty of the lovely typewriter-esque font and waste a Facebook-ian amount of time choosing my profile picture.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But, still, there is something astir as I write this. There's a little digital rumble: \u003ca href=\"http://www.queerty.com/is-ello-the-anti-facebook-social-network-weve-all-been-waiting-for-20140924\">articles are popping up\u003c/a>, Facebook friends are actually defecting. It might be wishful thinking, or it might be just a slight nudge of the paradigm. I'm rooting for the latter, but only time will tell. “People who say it's impossible to create something new imagine a stagnant future,\" says \u003ca href=\"http://www.dailydot.com/technology/ello-no-ads-social-web/\">Paul Budintz\u003c/a>, the creator of Ello. \"There's a kind of totalitarianism in that attitude. A lot of the data mining and manipulative behavior engaged in by big social networks has that flavor, a real arrogance and cynicism.” Ello was created as the antidote to that totalitarianism, and, if successful, might be able to fulfill a certain collective desire.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13638\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 360px\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2014/09/Ello-Manifesto.png\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-13638\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-13638 size-thumbnail\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2014/09/Ello-Manifesto-360x224.png\" alt=\"Ello Manifesto\" width=\"360\" height=\"224\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2014/09/Ello-Manifesto-360x224.png 360w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2014/09/Ello-Manifesto-300x187.png 300w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2014/09/Ello-Manifesto.png 867w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 360px) 100vw, 360px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Ello Manifesto.\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>I have no specific hope or expectation at this point, only a curiosity and anticipation about what will happen next. Perhaps nothing will come of Ello, perhaps there will not be the magnificent exodus and revolution I dream of today as I reload my crashed home page, the pleasing minimalist design reappearing on the third try. But I appreciate the potential in this moment, how it feels to participate in a place not muddled by ads, greed and money. It feels unencumbered by the obliviousness of technology merely for technology’s sake. Maybe, just maybe, we can re-set, start over, decide what it is we’re really doing here.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The philosopher Slavoj Zizek says, \"I secretly think that reality exists so we can speculate about it.\" And reality right now certainly is very strange and interesting, worthy of our most critical speculation. Our technological existence and our lived experiences are ever blurred, and with what repercussions? In his essay, \u003ca href=\"http://www.egs.edu/faculty/slavoj-zizek/articles/the-interpassive-subject/\">\"The Interpassive Subject\"\u003c/a>, Zizek explores the passive state that arises when we're ostensibly interacting, but actually aren't. Women hired to cry at funerals 0r canned laughter on television are compared to online personas in that our “most intimate feelings can be radically externalized.” Certainly social media is social media regardless of its incarnation, with certain trappings and tendencies. Yet, I can’t help but wonder how the intention, format, concept and context of a social network might influence the subsequent experience. Maybe we can move from our passivity to meaningful interaction.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I live in a city where Mark Zuckerburg himself is installing fiber optic cables under the sidewalk in front of his \u003ca href=\"http://www.businessinsider.com/mark-zuckerberg-construction-work-annoys-neighbors-2014-9\">new fortress\u003c/a>, mere blocks from my apartment, and where on a random Wednesday I walk out my door and interrupt a fashion shoot for a cell phone ad literally happening on my front stoop. On a lamppost half a block away from this photo shoot is an outraged Xeroxed collage, high school '90s style, an overlapping compilation of words including \u003ci>soul, luxury, innovation\u003c/i> and T\u003ci>witter\u003c/i> with images of bombs exploding and fancy cars. Imagine some frustrated person in the midst of their noisy, modern life stopping to cut up a magazine with a pair of scissors and some glue. Ello feels like it is \u003ca href=\"http://betabeat.com/2014/09/mysterious-social-network-ello-explodes-in-popularity-for-people-fleeing-facebook/\">that type of protestation \u003c/a>too, simple but dramatic, a much needed alternative.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Facebook, a place my teenage students have whole-heartedly abandoned, has been deemed \u003ca href=\"http://tech.firstpost.com/news-analysis/social-disease-facebook-lose-80-percent-user-2017-says-study-216822.html\">in danger of dying out like a disease\u003c/a>, and further rendered itself out of touch and irrelevant with its latest \u003ca href=\"http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/09/17/facebook-real-name-policy_n_5839912.html\">naming controversy\u003c/a>. A viable alternative that might help create a new kind of dynamic seems really exciting. As I send out my 25 allotted invites I feel a sort of pre-party giddiness. Who will show up? What will happen next? Ello is different than the lackluster contender of, say, Google Plus. In fact, the energy and buzz around Ello is reminiscent of the early 2000s, when I first found out, to my vague horror and fascination, that my new boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend was connected to my childhood friend, thanks to this thing called Friendster.\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/pop/13621/ello-a-hopeful-meeting-place-for-people-fed-up-with-facebook","authors":["2415"],"categories":["pop_1155","pop_5","pop_1041"],"tags":["pop_2684","pop_360","pop_1184"],"featImg":"pop_13660","label":"pop"},"pop_9732":{"type":"posts","id":"pop_9732","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"pop","id":"9732","score":null,"sort":[1384783201000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"how-to-be-nice-on-the-internet","title":"How To Be Nice On The Internet","publishDate":1384783201,"format":"aside","headTitle":"KQED Pop | KQED Arts","labelTerm":{"site":"pop"},"content":"\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2013/11/18/how-to-be-nice-on-the-internet/nice2/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-9739\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-9739\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/11/nice2.jpg\" alt=\"nice2\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/11/nice2.jpg 640w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/11/nice2-400x225.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This is a confession: about 7 years ago I started reading a blog written by a woman about my age. In a lot of ways, her life couldn't have been more different than mine: she had 2 kids, a husband, a house. She lived on the other side of the country and was a stay-at-home mom. I read the blog religiously along with some friends, and because she was different than us and because we didn't think of her as a real person and we were gossipy and bored, we started a parody blog of her blog. It was private, but not private enough and one day, this girl on the other side of the country found it. She couldn't read it, but she found a couple things my friends and I had said about her in our personal blogs and she could see that it existed and she was devastated. She wrote an entry about the discovery and how she cried all day. And she was right to cry and we felt horrible. We hadn't considered her a real person; we thought of her as a reality star, someone who was putting on a show for us. But she wasn't famous or getting paid to share her life with us -- she was just doing it because she wanted to and to have friends and support and to practice writing (she's a great writer by the way). Anyway, we apologized, PROFUSELY, and actually, after many long emails between us, \u003ca href=\"http://ww.dasbecca.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Becca\u003c/a> (her name is Becca) amazingly forgave us and we all became friends. Honestly, at this point I consider her one of my only real online friends. When one of us was really sick, she sent a whole season of \u003cem>The Gilmore Girls. \u003c/em>She's what you might call a total gem. And forgiving in an epic way.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I am telling you this story because, as a writer on the internet, I have become a pro now at getting random viciousness thrown my way. I've had strangers comment on \u003ca href=\"https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10101594496797538&set=pb.10704988.-2207520000.1384492461.&type=3&theater\" target=\"_blank\">what they don't like about my body\u003c/a>, what they don't like about me as a person, what they don't like about my writing and why they don't think I have the right to even write things in the first place. Now, I encourage critical engagement with my work -- I have an English degree so it's all I know how to do -- but when the comments get personal, it stops being engagement and starts being an attack and I, like anyone else, feel hurt and sad.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I have a 14-year-old cousin on Facebook now and so I have been thinking about how I can model better behavior online, for her and her friends. The other day I called my mom crying about something someone had said to me on Facebook and I realized that if this kind of thing is bad for me, at 31, then it must be impossible for a kid in middle school or high school. We owe it to the kids in our lives to not be bullies online, but sometimes it's hard to realize what we are doing until it's too late. So because I still (maybe naively) believe that \u003ca href=\"http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-FCVD-G3qGxM/UmVzxcVI6vI/AAAAAAAAAAc/L0b2yap_TRU/s1600/Anne-Frank-e1352197217758.jpg\" target=\"_blank\">everyone is good at heart\u003c/a> and I want to make the actual world we live in a better place (the other option being I suggest we all move to the woods but let's be honest, that's not happening), here are some steps to take next time things get heated online. Don't be mean! Be smart! (I'm trying to coin a new anti-online bullying slogan. It's not working.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>1. Take a deep breath.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You should take a deep breath before you do anything, ever. This especially includes before you press \"Post\" or \"Tweet.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>2. Think about your goal.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What are you trying to do with this comment? Start a conversation? Learn something? Solve a problem? Or are you trying to hurt someone or punish them because you feel hurt? Or maybe you are you trying to make yourself look good and make someone else look stupid? Think about it. If your goal is to actually further engage, does your comment have the potential to do that? If your goal is to actually hurt someone's feelings, then hey, you're a grown-up. Maybe delete and take a walk around the block.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>3. Remember that words have meaning.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It might sound good to make a rhetorical point by calling someone a murderer or a racist or a rapist but are they? Really? If they are, unfriend them on Facebook and call the police immediately. But if they aren't, then probably choose another name to call them or better yet, don't call them names at all.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>4. Remember that all actions have consequences. \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003c/strong>And the thing about the internet is that you don't always see the consequences. Use your imagination and think about what the likely consequences are of what you are about to write. The Golden Rule still applies. How would you feel if someone said to you what you are about to say, and said it in front of the whole world? Would you say this thing that you have just written if the person was standing in front of you?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>5. Don't like or retweet mean comments.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You know what's worse than having someone say hurtful things to you? When a whole horde of people behind them pile on and yell, \"Yeah! That's right! What she said!\" You know what's more cowardly than saying mean things over social media? Liking someone else's mean things.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>6. If you make a mistake, apologize.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We've all done it. See: the above Becca story. As non-robots, it's inevitable that we will make mistakes. So when you do, when things get personal and you realize you've hurt someone's feelings, just say sorry. It might lead to deeper understanding or even friendship. Sorry can be magical.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>7. Don't put other people's crap in your mouth.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That one, except with a swear word, is from my mediation teacher. If it's inevitable that you will make mistakes, it's inevitable other people will too. Things will get nasty, personal, whatever, and you might never get an apology and you know what? It'll be okay if you're okay with yourself. When people get mean, it's about them, not you. I know this sounds like basic first day of kindergarten stuff, but it bears repeating because it still happens and it will still hurt when it happens and the only possible thing you can do is feel hurt and then move on. Someone who lashes out at you online is probably insecure and maybe miserable and maybe scared. It's worse for them than it is for you, guaranteed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So friends! Go out and get in discussions! Share your thoughts! Let things get real! Let things get heated! But always remember there is a human on the other end of your screen and a bunch of kids watching you, trying to figure out how they should act online. It sucks but you're the adult now. So remember Becca and act like it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"We owe it to the kids in our lives to not be bullies online. Here are 7 ways you can be a better human being on the internet.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1386117554,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":21,"wordCount":1236},"headData":{"title":"How To Be Nice On The Internet | KQED","description":"We owe it to the kids in our lives to not be bullies online. Here are 7 ways you can be a better human being on the internet.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"Article","headline":"How To Be Nice On The Internet","datePublished":"2013-11-18T14:00:01.000Z","dateModified":"2013-12-04T00:39:14.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}},"disqusIdentifier":"9732 http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/?p=9732","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2013/11/18/how-to-be-nice-on-the-internet/","disqusTitle":"How To Be Nice On The Internet","path":"/pop/9732/how-to-be-nice-on-the-internet","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2013/11/18/how-to-be-nice-on-the-internet/nice2/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-9739\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-9739\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/11/nice2.jpg\" alt=\"nice2\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/11/nice2.jpg 640w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/11/nice2-400x225.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This is a confession: about 7 years ago I started reading a blog written by a woman about my age. In a lot of ways, her life couldn't have been more different than mine: she had 2 kids, a husband, a house. She lived on the other side of the country and was a stay-at-home mom. I read the blog religiously along with some friends, and because she was different than us and because we didn't think of her as a real person and we were gossipy and bored, we started a parody blog of her blog. It was private, but not private enough and one day, this girl on the other side of the country found it. She couldn't read it, but she found a couple things my friends and I had said about her in our personal blogs and she could see that it existed and she was devastated. She wrote an entry about the discovery and how she cried all day. And she was right to cry and we felt horrible. We hadn't considered her a real person; we thought of her as a reality star, someone who was putting on a show for us. But she wasn't famous or getting paid to share her life with us -- she was just doing it because she wanted to and to have friends and support and to practice writing (she's a great writer by the way). Anyway, we apologized, PROFUSELY, and actually, after many long emails between us, \u003ca href=\"http://ww.dasbecca.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Becca\u003c/a> (her name is Becca) amazingly forgave us and we all became friends. Honestly, at this point I consider her one of my only real online friends. When one of us was really sick, she sent a whole season of \u003cem>The Gilmore Girls. \u003c/em>She's what you might call a total gem. And forgiving in an epic way.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I am telling you this story because, as a writer on the internet, I have become a pro now at getting random viciousness thrown my way. I've had strangers comment on \u003ca href=\"https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10101594496797538&set=pb.10704988.-2207520000.1384492461.&type=3&theater\" target=\"_blank\">what they don't like about my body\u003c/a>, what they don't like about me as a person, what they don't like about my writing and why they don't think I have the right to even write things in the first place. Now, I encourage critical engagement with my work -- I have an English degree so it's all I know how to do -- but when the comments get personal, it stops being engagement and starts being an attack and I, like anyone else, feel hurt and sad.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I have a 14-year-old cousin on Facebook now and so I have been thinking about how I can model better behavior online, for her and her friends. The other day I called my mom crying about something someone had said to me on Facebook and I realized that if this kind of thing is bad for me, at 31, then it must be impossible for a kid in middle school or high school. We owe it to the kids in our lives to not be bullies online, but sometimes it's hard to realize what we are doing until it's too late. So because I still (maybe naively) believe that \u003ca href=\"http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-FCVD-G3qGxM/UmVzxcVI6vI/AAAAAAAAAAc/L0b2yap_TRU/s1600/Anne-Frank-e1352197217758.jpg\" target=\"_blank\">everyone is good at heart\u003c/a> and I want to make the actual world we live in a better place (the other option being I suggest we all move to the woods but let's be honest, that's not happening), here are some steps to take next time things get heated online. Don't be mean! Be smart! (I'm trying to coin a new anti-online bullying slogan. It's not working.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>1. Take a deep breath.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You should take a deep breath before you do anything, ever. This especially includes before you press \"Post\" or \"Tweet.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>2. Think about your goal.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What are you trying to do with this comment? Start a conversation? Learn something? Solve a problem? Or are you trying to hurt someone or punish them because you feel hurt? Or maybe you are you trying to make yourself look good and make someone else look stupid? Think about it. If your goal is to actually further engage, does your comment have the potential to do that? If your goal is to actually hurt someone's feelings, then hey, you're a grown-up. Maybe delete and take a walk around the block.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>3. Remember that words have meaning.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It might sound good to make a rhetorical point by calling someone a murderer or a racist or a rapist but are they? Really? If they are, unfriend them on Facebook and call the police immediately. But if they aren't, then probably choose another name to call them or better yet, don't call them names at all.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>4. Remember that all actions have consequences. \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003c/strong>And the thing about the internet is that you don't always see the consequences. Use your imagination and think about what the likely consequences are of what you are about to write. The Golden Rule still applies. How would you feel if someone said to you what you are about to say, and said it in front of the whole world? Would you say this thing that you have just written if the person was standing in front of you?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>5. Don't like or retweet mean comments.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You know what's worse than having someone say hurtful things to you? When a whole horde of people behind them pile on and yell, \"Yeah! That's right! What she said!\" You know what's more cowardly than saying mean things over social media? Liking someone else's mean things.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>6. If you make a mistake, apologize.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We've all done it. See: the above Becca story. As non-robots, it's inevitable that we will make mistakes. So when you do, when things get personal and you realize you've hurt someone's feelings, just say sorry. It might lead to deeper understanding or even friendship. Sorry can be magical.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>7. Don't put other people's crap in your mouth.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That one, except with a swear word, is from my mediation teacher. If it's inevitable that you will make mistakes, it's inevitable other people will too. Things will get nasty, personal, whatever, and you might never get an apology and you know what? It'll be okay if you're okay with yourself. When people get mean, it's about them, not you. I know this sounds like basic first day of kindergarten stuff, but it bears repeating because it still happens and it will still hurt when it happens and the only possible thing you can do is feel hurt and then move on. Someone who lashes out at you online is probably insecure and maybe miserable and maybe scared. It's worse for them than it is for you, guaranteed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So friends! Go out and get in discussions! Share your thoughts! Let things get real! Let things get heated! But always remember there is a human on the other end of your screen and a bunch of kids watching you, trying to figure out how they should act online. It sucks but you're the adult now. So remember Becca and act like it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/pop/9732/how-to-be-nice-on-the-internet","authors":["2130"],"categories":["pop_5","pop_1041"],"tags":["pop_1368","pop_1363","pop_360","pop_245"],"featImg":"pop_9739","label":"pop"},"pop_6819":{"type":"posts","id":"pop_6819","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"pop","id":"6819","score":null,"sort":[1374066020000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"please-like-me-how-instagram-and-facebook-feed-our-insecurity","title":"Please Like Me: How Instagram and Facebook Feed Our Insecurity","publishDate":1374066020,"format":"aside","headTitle":"KQED Pop | KQED Arts","labelTerm":{"site":"pop"},"content":"\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2013/07/17/please-like-me-how-instagram-and-facebook-feed-our-insecurity/like4/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-6853\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-6853\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/07/like4.jpg\" alt=\"like4\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/07/like4.jpg 640w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/07/like4-400x225.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>We all have our vices. Singing Mariah songs at karaoke even though your voice is just okay. Pretending to be your twin for extra samples at Costco. Drinking Long Island iced teas when you know better. These bad habits provide a sense of balance to your other life as a responsible adult that is only late to work sometimes and takes a shower almost every day. But sometimes these inclinations get out of control and weave into obsession territory.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Instagram first hit the scene, I was disinterested. Why would I want to be inundated with a constant stream of amateur photography? Facebook was bad enough. A few stubborn weeks later, I got off my high horse long enough to see the value in seeing the world through my loved ones' eyes. Gazing at some piece of litter made beautiful by a friend across the world made me feel closer to her and provided a sense of communal living that transcended geography and time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Soon, I was 'gramming every day and even taking part in \"throw back Thursdays.\" Look at my feet in the sand next to a bottle of whiskey! And this photo of me in a Greek costume as a toddler! And this good hair day I'm having! Harmless voyeurism and narcissism! And then things got dark. \"Ugh, I haven't gotten to 11 likes yet! What is wrong with everyone?!\" I would exclaim, wondering why this view of the SF skyline or that double rainbow wasn't deserving of digital love. Then I would like it myself. A shameful act and a shameless bid to reach an arbitrary milestone that meant validation. My compulsive \"like\" maintenance was starting to disturb me. I could picture myself as the star of a really boring episode of \u003cem>Intervention\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2013/07/17/please-like-me-how-instagram-and-facebook-feed-our-insecurity/og1cmla/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-6846\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-6846\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/07/og1cmla.gif\" alt=\"og1cmla\" width=\"286\" height=\"191\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So how did this fun app full of pretty pictures shape-shift into an ugly addiction? The underlying source is in our DNA; it's human nature to want to be accepted by our community, a characteristic that has been manipulated since Facebook's thumbs-up came into our lives. Even the most confident person is susceptible to placing too much importance on the trade of approval and rejection in the social media world. Whether you admit it or not, there is some sting in getting only one or two engaged comments or likes on an impassioned status update or a photo of your new haircut that you're not comfortable with just yet. In the end, we just want to be approved of by our peers and feel a little less alone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Paradoxically, social media can sometimes actually put distance between us and our friends or our experiences, under the guise of connectedness. Birthday cards in the mail have become uninspired well wishes on a digital wall. Constantly keeping tabs on friends through their stream takes the place of catching up face-to-face because you already know everything that's been going on with them. And concerts become a battle to capture the moment to prove how amazing it was and how close to Beyoncé you got (speaking of Queen B, she recently had this to say \u003ca href=\"http://youtu.be/ddrDmf3qDto\">to a fan at one of her shows\u003c/a>: \"See, you can’t even sing because you’re too busy taping. I’m right in your face, baby! You gotta seize this moment, baby! You better put that damn camera down!\"). The Yeah Yeah Yeahs also \u003ca href=\"http://www.spin.com/articles/yeah-yeah-yeahs-karen-o-sign-no-cameras-smart-device-live-shows/\">wagged a finger recently\u003c/a> to protect those who would rather not watch a show through the device of the person in front of them. So what ever happened to taking a picture just for yourself, maybe to put into a frame and place on your wall or desk? Or, hell, what happened to just looking at something and enjoying it and having that be enough?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ciframe src=\"//instagram.com/p/W2FCksR9-e/embed/\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" width=\"612\" height=\"710\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's these kind of questions that have started a reactionary detox movement based on the idea of unplugging and getting back to basics, one that begins and ends with you being the definitive voice on what is wonderful and worthy about your life, one that barters with the simplest building blocks of life: conversation and adventure. There's the \u003ca href=\"http://theundolist.com/\">Undo List\u003c/a>, which is a tip sheet full of prompts for a weekly 24-hour break from technology. And the \u003ca href=\"http://nationaldayofunplugging.com/\">National Day of Unplugging\u003c/a>. And Camp Grounded, a $350 retreat in Northern California that involves leaving all technology, even watches and talk of age or work, behind for a weekend of \"playshops\" that promote creativity and connecting with strangers.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Our dependence on technology has gotten so bad that we need to pay other people to keep us away from our phones and tablets. That's a pretty scary reality, but all we can do is be aware of it and know when it's time to step away for a bit to retain some mental calm, to find a place for technology that is proportional to the place we hold for morning walks or conversation over wine or those little windows of time meant for contemplation instead of mindless refreshing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I did my own form of cleanse by taking a month off from Instagram. That time allowed me to experience things without missing them while grabbing for my phone to document. My eyes felt more open and I felt less crazy. I'm using the app again, which I don't consider a relapse. This world is different than the one our grandparents lived in. We can all move to a commune and pretend this isn't so (not a terrible idea) or we can exist in this new digital age while keeping tabs on what's really important. Everything in moderation, right?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The other day, I posted a double-exposed portrait of my best friends and me enjoying being together and being younger than we will ever be again and tearing through San Francisco full of love for life and each other. I put it on Instagram, but this time it wasn't so that others could validate our glorious day in the sun or our cute outfits. It was to mark that this day happened and these bonds existed, to bottle up all that joie de vivre in an ethereal time capsule to be dredged up later by some yet unborn descendants as a reminder from a past era of what truly matters in the end. Now that's a connection I can get behind.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ciframe src=\"//instagram.com/p/bw18IXqL1N/embed/\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" width=\"612\" height=\"710\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"How a fun app full of pretty pictures can shape-shift into an ugly obsession.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1382053595,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":14,"wordCount":1083},"headData":{"title":"Please Like Me: How Instagram and Facebook Feed Our Insecurity | KQED","description":"How a fun app full of pretty pictures can shape-shift into an ugly obsession.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"Article","headline":"Please Like Me: How Instagram and Facebook Feed Our Insecurity","datePublished":"2013-07-17T13:00:20.000Z","dateModified":"2013-10-17T23:46:35.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}},"disqusIdentifier":"6819 http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/?p=6819","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2013/07/17/please-like-me-how-instagram-and-facebook-feed-our-insecurity/","disqusTitle":"Please Like Me: How Instagram and Facebook Feed Our Insecurity","path":"/pop/6819/please-like-me-how-instagram-and-facebook-feed-our-insecurity","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2013/07/17/please-like-me-how-instagram-and-facebook-feed-our-insecurity/like4/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-6853\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-6853\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/07/like4.jpg\" alt=\"like4\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/07/like4.jpg 640w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/07/like4-400x225.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>We all have our vices. Singing Mariah songs at karaoke even though your voice is just okay. Pretending to be your twin for extra samples at Costco. Drinking Long Island iced teas when you know better. These bad habits provide a sense of balance to your other life as a responsible adult that is only late to work sometimes and takes a shower almost every day. But sometimes these inclinations get out of control and weave into obsession territory.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Instagram first hit the scene, I was disinterested. Why would I want to be inundated with a constant stream of amateur photography? Facebook was bad enough. A few stubborn weeks later, I got off my high horse long enough to see the value in seeing the world through my loved ones' eyes. Gazing at some piece of litter made beautiful by a friend across the world made me feel closer to her and provided a sense of communal living that transcended geography and time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Soon, I was 'gramming every day and even taking part in \"throw back Thursdays.\" Look at my feet in the sand next to a bottle of whiskey! And this photo of me in a Greek costume as a toddler! And this good hair day I'm having! Harmless voyeurism and narcissism! And then things got dark. \"Ugh, I haven't gotten to 11 likes yet! What is wrong with everyone?!\" I would exclaim, wondering why this view of the SF skyline or that double rainbow wasn't deserving of digital love. Then I would like it myself. A shameful act and a shameless bid to reach an arbitrary milestone that meant validation. My compulsive \"like\" maintenance was starting to disturb me. I could picture myself as the star of a really boring episode of \u003cem>Intervention\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2013/07/17/please-like-me-how-instagram-and-facebook-feed-our-insecurity/og1cmla/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-6846\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-6846\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/07/og1cmla.gif\" alt=\"og1cmla\" width=\"286\" height=\"191\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So how did this fun app full of pretty pictures shape-shift into an ugly addiction? The underlying source is in our DNA; it's human nature to want to be accepted by our community, a characteristic that has been manipulated since Facebook's thumbs-up came into our lives. Even the most confident person is susceptible to placing too much importance on the trade of approval and rejection in the social media world. Whether you admit it or not, there is some sting in getting only one or two engaged comments or likes on an impassioned status update or a photo of your new haircut that you're not comfortable with just yet. In the end, we just want to be approved of by our peers and feel a little less alone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Paradoxically, social media can sometimes actually put distance between us and our friends or our experiences, under the guise of connectedness. Birthday cards in the mail have become uninspired well wishes on a digital wall. Constantly keeping tabs on friends through their stream takes the place of catching up face-to-face because you already know everything that's been going on with them. And concerts become a battle to capture the moment to prove how amazing it was and how close to Beyoncé you got (speaking of Queen B, she recently had this to say \u003ca href=\"http://youtu.be/ddrDmf3qDto\">to a fan at one of her shows\u003c/a>: \"See, you can’t even sing because you’re too busy taping. I’m right in your face, baby! You gotta seize this moment, baby! You better put that damn camera down!\"). The Yeah Yeah Yeahs also \u003ca href=\"http://www.spin.com/articles/yeah-yeah-yeahs-karen-o-sign-no-cameras-smart-device-live-shows/\">wagged a finger recently\u003c/a> to protect those who would rather not watch a show through the device of the person in front of them. So what ever happened to taking a picture just for yourself, maybe to put into a frame and place on your wall or desk? Or, hell, what happened to just looking at something and enjoying it and having that be enough?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ciframe src=\"//instagram.com/p/W2FCksR9-e/embed/\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" width=\"612\" height=\"710\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's these kind of questions that have started a reactionary detox movement based on the idea of unplugging and getting back to basics, one that begins and ends with you being the definitive voice on what is wonderful and worthy about your life, one that barters with the simplest building blocks of life: conversation and adventure. There's the \u003ca href=\"http://theundolist.com/\">Undo List\u003c/a>, which is a tip sheet full of prompts for a weekly 24-hour break from technology. And the \u003ca href=\"http://nationaldayofunplugging.com/\">National Day of Unplugging\u003c/a>. And Camp Grounded, a $350 retreat in Northern California that involves leaving all technology, even watches and talk of age or work, behind for a weekend of \"playshops\" that promote creativity and connecting with strangers.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Our dependence on technology has gotten so bad that we need to pay other people to keep us away from our phones and tablets. That's a pretty scary reality, but all we can do is be aware of it and know when it's time to step away for a bit to retain some mental calm, to find a place for technology that is proportional to the place we hold for morning walks or conversation over wine or those little windows of time meant for contemplation instead of mindless refreshing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I did my own form of cleanse by taking a month off from Instagram. That time allowed me to experience things without missing them while grabbing for my phone to document. My eyes felt more open and I felt less crazy. I'm using the app again, which I don't consider a relapse. This world is different than the one our grandparents lived in. We can all move to a commune and pretend this isn't so (not a terrible idea) or we can exist in this new digital age while keeping tabs on what's really important. Everything in moderation, right?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The other day, I posted a double-exposed portrait of my best friends and me enjoying being together and being younger than we will ever be again and tearing through San Francisco full of love for life and each other. I put it on Instagram, but this time it wasn't so that others could validate our glorious day in the sun or our cute outfits. It was to mark that this day happened and these bonds existed, to bottle up all that joie de vivre in an ethereal time capsule to be dredged up later by some yet unborn descendants as a reminder from a past era of what truly matters in the end. Now that's a connection I can get behind.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ciframe src=\"//instagram.com/p/bw18IXqL1N/embed/\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" width=\"612\" height=\"710\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/pop/6819/please-like-me-how-instagram-and-facebook-feed-our-insecurity","authors":["27"],"categories":["pop_1155","pop_5","pop_1041"],"tags":["pop_1030","pop_360","pop_363","pop_1029","pop_128"],"featImg":"pop_6853","label":"pop"},"pop_4051":{"type":"posts","id":"pop_4051","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"pop","id":"4051","score":null,"sort":[1366733968000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"the-psychology-of-the-facebook-unfriend","title":"The Psychology of the Facebook \"Unfriend\"","publishDate":1366733968,"format":"aside","headTitle":"KQED Pop | KQED Arts","labelTerm":{"site":"pop"},"content":"\u003cp>Google is \u003ca href=\"http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2008/07/is-google-making-us-stupid/306868/\">making us stupid\u003c/a>. Our phones are \u003ca href=\"http://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/24/opinion/sunday/your-phone-vs-your-heart.html?_r=0\">damaging our hearts\u003c/a>. Zadie Smith thinks social media has us pathologically \u003ca href=\"http://www.nybooks.com/articles/archives/2010/nov/25/generation-why/?pagination=false\">caught in the consciousness of a snarky teenage boy\u003c/a>. Rebecca Solnit has some\u003ca href=\"http://www.lrb.co.uk/v35/n03/rebecca-solnit/diary\"> scathing observations\u003c/a> about SF's tech boom. So too, I imagine our ephemeral Facebook connections must be leaving some psychological imprint on us, especially those friendships that we might not otherwise still have or want. On one hand I’m inclined to write off these concerns. The novelty of Facebook is gone for many of us; even my teenage students find it “boring” these days. So, does it really matter? In the early days of Facebook we all rushed to find everyone we could think of, amazed that it was possible, not considering whether we really wanted to or not. Part of the psychological imprint is that now we’re all somehow connected without actually interacting (sometimes without interacting in person and sometimes without interacting \u003cem>at all) \u003c/em>to hundreds of people. \u003ca href=\"http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/19722\">Robert Kelly\u003c/a>, my writing teacher in college, once told us that everyone we ever loved would exist forever as a ghost around us. I found that sad and thrilling and hoped it was true. He didn’t mean Facebook, but he certainly could have, and I'm less sure I hope it's true now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_4052\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 470px\">\u003ca href=\"http://hauntedhearts.wordpress.com/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-4052\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-4052\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/04/stranger-in-the-housecove-detail.jpg\" alt=\"stranger-in-the-housecove-detail\" width=\"470\" height=\"483\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/04/stranger-in-the-housecove-detail.jpg 470w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/04/stranger-in-the-housecove-detail-400x411.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/04/stranger-in-the-housecove-detail-32x32.jpg 32w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 470px) 100vw, 470px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">I had looked right through, when I wanted a universe that sustains looker and looking and the seen forever, detail after detail never ending. -'Looking' by Robert Kelly\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Recently I “unfriended” someone, an important person from my past who renders me an irrationally passionate teenager. And the unfriend is truly the last resort of the irrationally passionate teenager. In an era of sophisticated privacy settings I can hide anyone who annoys me and I can control every piece of information I share. The unfriend is unnecessary; it’s the violent, tangible act we turn to when no other expression of our over-it-ness will suffice. Where before door slamming and shouted threats of never speaking again would get the point across, it’s now the click that quietly disconnects us.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the aftermath of this unfriend I conducted a casual survey and it seems many of my friends have \u003ca href=\"http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/02/130204130042.htm\">never unfriended anyone\u003c/a>. Reasons include fear of seeming too invested or concerned, of offending, of giving Facebook too much validity, that they might change their mind (though in what dramatic statement about an interpersonal dynamic might we ever be sure?) and so forth. They rightfully hide the offending party and continue on. It’s a reasonable and sustainable approach where no one’s feelings are hurt and we don’t seem crazy. After all, there are plenty of people I’ve merely hidden and soon forget. It’s easy, painless and non-political. I can unhide if I want and I don’t seem fickle. Due to this clandestine option, I forget half the people I’m friends with, but therein lies part of the strangeness and the question. Why do I stay invisibly connected to someone I want to hide, no matter what the reason?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://www.bnox.be/2011/06/how-to-disappear-completely.html\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-4054\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-4054\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/04/Schermafbeelding-2011-06-15-om-19.37.47.png\" alt=\"Schermafbeelding 2011-06-15 om 19.37.47\" width=\"638\" height=\"359\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/04/Schermafbeelding-2011-06-15-om-19.37.47.png 638w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/04/Schermafbeelding-2011-06-15-om-19.37.47-400x225.png 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 638px) 100vw, 638px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I was curious as to why this particular person, and a handful before him, inspired me to forego such social niceties as would make sense. I wanted him to know he was no longer allowed to see me and that I had no interest in seeing him. Not only did I want to disconnect from him symbolically (and literally) in a way that he could potentially be aware of and upset by, but I was also willing to give up the idea that he might get the occasional glimpse at the curated, controlled moments of my perfect, amazing, digital life and I was thereby severing all ties, including the unspoken one where we’re at least allowed to spy on each other. All levels and layers of our connection are obsolete, says the unfriend. If the newsfeed hide is when you pretend you don’t see someone at a party, the unfriend is when you \u003ca href=\"http://www.slate.com/blogs/browbeat/2012/07/15/how_to_throw_a_drink_in_someone_s_face.html\">throw your drink in their face \u003c/a>and cause a scene. Who actually inspires that? And even if they do, should we give them the pleasure?\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_4059\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 531px\">\u003ca href=\"http://bananaoilmovies.wordpress.com/2012/05/29/review-whos-afraid-of-virginia-woolf-1966/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-4059\">\u003cimg class=\" wp-image-4059 \" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/04/woolf-1024x791.jpg\" alt=\"woolf\" width=\"531\" height=\"410\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">\u003ca href=\"http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nInE5TITzE8\">George and Martha \u003c/a>would have unfriended each other.\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>There have been others, albeit slightly less dramatic ones. The acquaintance who was a jerk the last time I saw him, who never sent a message or interacted with me, but silently sat there as my hundred and whatever-eth friend doing nothing. Finally, when I still couldn’t remember if I liked him in real life or not, I unfriended him. Or the guy who wanted me to “like” his band (ten times!) but walked by me in Dolores Park because he didn’t recognize me. Or the guy who took me on three dates in college and was a hell of a breakdancer but had nothing to say since. Or an old girlfriend who seemed to have forgotten clearly telling me we weren't friends anymore (in our early 20's). These people shouldn’t be connected to me because they aren’t. We don't know each other anymore or we never did. What does it do to my brain/heart/psychology to know they’re there anyway? We’re not even actively looking at each other's lives most likely, but instead just absent-mindedly, occasionally looking, listlessly and invisibly bound to one another. In what unconscious, tiny ways are we changed by revealing ourselves like this, by looking at others and being seen within this framework?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://hauntedhearts.wordpress.com/page/2/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-4063\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-4063\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/04/escape-the-nightcloeup.jpg\" alt=\"escape-the-nightcloeup\" width=\"470\" height=\"550\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/04/escape-the-nightcloeup.jpg 470w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/04/escape-the-nightcloeup-400x468.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 470px) 100vw, 470px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Once this most recent person was unfriended, I felt calmer, less seen, more myself (and fascinated that these were all equated). He wasn’t \u003cem>there\u003c/em>, wherever there is. He was gone, not hidden. What further interested me was that he was as absent from my offline life as ever, but the palpable sense of getting him out of my online life felt substantial. And that speaks to the odd importance of our online selves, how they mirror or reinforce who we really are. In my informal survey many had obviously \u003ca href=\"http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2211034/Why-MUST-unfriend-ex-Are-risking-psychological-damage-spying-flames-Facebook.html\">unfriended exes\u003c/a> but others had purposefully kept them around so as not to give them the “satisfaction” of being unfriended, a funny twist. Are our experiences any less if everyone can’t see it? Some part of our experiences include us wanting specific other people to know about them. There’s some secret part of ourselves that must admit we want that. But the unfriend is saying I don’t and therefore has some actual meaning and significant social power.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Facebook has made us forget that we don’t want to know everyone. We’ve forgotten it can be nice to be alone, as it can be helpful to be quiet. I’ve made a ritual of not going on my phone first thing in the morning, or taking it out when my dinner companions excuse themselves and this helps me have one or two quiet moments inside my own head. Along the same lines I’ve also decided that the unfriend is allowed. The art of the unfriend can range from the occasional housecleaning of people you really don't know or will never see again, to the psychological protection of ridding yourself of someone bad for you, to no longer aligning yourself with someone you don't want to be aligned with. Don't avoid the unfriend for fear of seeming melodramatic or one day changing your mind. Delete your ex-boyfriend if he makes you so mad you forget you’re a grown woman. Delete the friend you wouldn't want to meet for a drink in real life. Grow apart like you should.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://ienaina.blogspot.com/2010/04/end-of-friendship.html\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-4060\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-4060\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/04/end-friendship-main_full.jpg\" alt=\"end-friendship-main_full\" width=\"500\" height=\"333\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/04/end-friendship-main_full.jpg 500w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/04/end-friendship-main_full-400x266.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The road trip, running around in the woods at night, the car crash, when he played piano in the empty auditorium, those are the fleeting actual moments of my life, the relationships that dissipated or strengthened, that evolved or ended, in real time. Those living moments of our friendships happened and are remembered or not, mattered or didn’t. This person's status as my Facebook friend was an electronic glimmer that distracted me.The inexplicable nature of why we’re drawn to one another and why we stay or go is the endless fascination of my life. If only it were simple to understand, but in the meantime, even if he does exist forever as a ghost around me, he doesn’t exist on Facebook because I unfriended him.\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Delete your ex or the friend you wouldn't want to meet for a drink in real life. Grow apart like you should.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1552196984,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":10,"wordCount":1458},"headData":{"title":"The Psychology of the Facebook \"Unfriend\" | KQED","description":"Delete your ex or the friend you wouldn't want to meet for a drink in real life. Grow apart like you should.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"Article","headline":"The Psychology of the Facebook \"Unfriend\"","datePublished":"2013-04-23T16:19:28.000Z","dateModified":"2019-03-10T05:49:44.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}},"disqusIdentifier":"4051 http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/?p=4051","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2013/04/23/the-psychology-of-the-facebook-unfriend/","disqusTitle":"The Psychology of the Facebook \"Unfriend\"","path":"/pop/4051/the-psychology-of-the-facebook-unfriend","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Google is \u003ca href=\"http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2008/07/is-google-making-us-stupid/306868/\">making us stupid\u003c/a>. Our phones are \u003ca href=\"http://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/24/opinion/sunday/your-phone-vs-your-heart.html?_r=0\">damaging our hearts\u003c/a>. Zadie Smith thinks social media has us pathologically \u003ca href=\"http://www.nybooks.com/articles/archives/2010/nov/25/generation-why/?pagination=false\">caught in the consciousness of a snarky teenage boy\u003c/a>. Rebecca Solnit has some\u003ca href=\"http://www.lrb.co.uk/v35/n03/rebecca-solnit/diary\"> scathing observations\u003c/a> about SF's tech boom. So too, I imagine our ephemeral Facebook connections must be leaving some psychological imprint on us, especially those friendships that we might not otherwise still have or want. On one hand I’m inclined to write off these concerns. The novelty of Facebook is gone for many of us; even my teenage students find it “boring” these days. So, does it really matter? In the early days of Facebook we all rushed to find everyone we could think of, amazed that it was possible, not considering whether we really wanted to or not. Part of the psychological imprint is that now we’re all somehow connected without actually interacting (sometimes without interacting in person and sometimes without interacting \u003cem>at all) \u003c/em>to hundreds of people. \u003ca href=\"http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/19722\">Robert Kelly\u003c/a>, my writing teacher in college, once told us that everyone we ever loved would exist forever as a ghost around us. I found that sad and thrilling and hoped it was true. He didn’t mean Facebook, but he certainly could have, and I'm less sure I hope it's true now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_4052\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 470px\">\u003ca href=\"http://hauntedhearts.wordpress.com/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-4052\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-4052\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/04/stranger-in-the-housecove-detail.jpg\" alt=\"stranger-in-the-housecove-detail\" width=\"470\" height=\"483\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/04/stranger-in-the-housecove-detail.jpg 470w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/04/stranger-in-the-housecove-detail-400x411.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/04/stranger-in-the-housecove-detail-32x32.jpg 32w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 470px) 100vw, 470px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">I had looked right through, when I wanted a universe that sustains looker and looking and the seen forever, detail after detail never ending. -'Looking' by Robert Kelly\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Recently I “unfriended” someone, an important person from my past who renders me an irrationally passionate teenager. And the unfriend is truly the last resort of the irrationally passionate teenager. In an era of sophisticated privacy settings I can hide anyone who annoys me and I can control every piece of information I share. The unfriend is unnecessary; it’s the violent, tangible act we turn to when no other expression of our over-it-ness will suffice. Where before door slamming and shouted threats of never speaking again would get the point across, it’s now the click that quietly disconnects us.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the aftermath of this unfriend I conducted a casual survey and it seems many of my friends have \u003ca href=\"http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/02/130204130042.htm\">never unfriended anyone\u003c/a>. Reasons include fear of seeming too invested or concerned, of offending, of giving Facebook too much validity, that they might change their mind (though in what dramatic statement about an interpersonal dynamic might we ever be sure?) and so forth. They rightfully hide the offending party and continue on. It’s a reasonable and sustainable approach where no one’s feelings are hurt and we don’t seem crazy. After all, there are plenty of people I’ve merely hidden and soon forget. It’s easy, painless and non-political. I can unhide if I want and I don’t seem fickle. Due to this clandestine option, I forget half the people I’m friends with, but therein lies part of the strangeness and the question. Why do I stay invisibly connected to someone I want to hide, no matter what the reason?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://www.bnox.be/2011/06/how-to-disappear-completely.html\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-4054\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-4054\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/04/Schermafbeelding-2011-06-15-om-19.37.47.png\" alt=\"Schermafbeelding 2011-06-15 om 19.37.47\" width=\"638\" height=\"359\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/04/Schermafbeelding-2011-06-15-om-19.37.47.png 638w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/04/Schermafbeelding-2011-06-15-om-19.37.47-400x225.png 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 638px) 100vw, 638px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I was curious as to why this particular person, and a handful before him, inspired me to forego such social niceties as would make sense. I wanted him to know he was no longer allowed to see me and that I had no interest in seeing him. Not only did I want to disconnect from him symbolically (and literally) in a way that he could potentially be aware of and upset by, but I was also willing to give up the idea that he might get the occasional glimpse at the curated, controlled moments of my perfect, amazing, digital life and I was thereby severing all ties, including the unspoken one where we’re at least allowed to spy on each other. All levels and layers of our connection are obsolete, says the unfriend. If the newsfeed hide is when you pretend you don’t see someone at a party, the unfriend is when you \u003ca href=\"http://www.slate.com/blogs/browbeat/2012/07/15/how_to_throw_a_drink_in_someone_s_face.html\">throw your drink in their face \u003c/a>and cause a scene. Who actually inspires that? And even if they do, should we give them the pleasure?\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_4059\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 531px\">\u003ca href=\"http://bananaoilmovies.wordpress.com/2012/05/29/review-whos-afraid-of-virginia-woolf-1966/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-4059\">\u003cimg class=\" wp-image-4059 \" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/04/woolf-1024x791.jpg\" alt=\"woolf\" width=\"531\" height=\"410\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">\u003ca href=\"http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nInE5TITzE8\">George and Martha \u003c/a>would have unfriended each other.\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>There have been others, albeit slightly less dramatic ones. The acquaintance who was a jerk the last time I saw him, who never sent a message or interacted with me, but silently sat there as my hundred and whatever-eth friend doing nothing. Finally, when I still couldn’t remember if I liked him in real life or not, I unfriended him. Or the guy who wanted me to “like” his band (ten times!) but walked by me in Dolores Park because he didn’t recognize me. Or the guy who took me on three dates in college and was a hell of a breakdancer but had nothing to say since. Or an old girlfriend who seemed to have forgotten clearly telling me we weren't friends anymore (in our early 20's). These people shouldn’t be connected to me because they aren’t. We don't know each other anymore or we never did. What does it do to my brain/heart/psychology to know they’re there anyway? We’re not even actively looking at each other's lives most likely, but instead just absent-mindedly, occasionally looking, listlessly and invisibly bound to one another. In what unconscious, tiny ways are we changed by revealing ourselves like this, by looking at others and being seen within this framework?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://hauntedhearts.wordpress.com/page/2/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-4063\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-4063\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/04/escape-the-nightcloeup.jpg\" alt=\"escape-the-nightcloeup\" width=\"470\" height=\"550\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/04/escape-the-nightcloeup.jpg 470w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/04/escape-the-nightcloeup-400x468.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 470px) 100vw, 470px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Once this most recent person was unfriended, I felt calmer, less seen, more myself (and fascinated that these were all equated). He wasn’t \u003cem>there\u003c/em>, wherever there is. He was gone, not hidden. What further interested me was that he was as absent from my offline life as ever, but the palpable sense of getting him out of my online life felt substantial. And that speaks to the odd importance of our online selves, how they mirror or reinforce who we really are. In my informal survey many had obviously \u003ca href=\"http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2211034/Why-MUST-unfriend-ex-Are-risking-psychological-damage-spying-flames-Facebook.html\">unfriended exes\u003c/a> but others had purposefully kept them around so as not to give them the “satisfaction” of being unfriended, a funny twist. Are our experiences any less if everyone can’t see it? Some part of our experiences include us wanting specific other people to know about them. There’s some secret part of ourselves that must admit we want that. But the unfriend is saying I don’t and therefore has some actual meaning and significant social power.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Facebook has made us forget that we don’t want to know everyone. We’ve forgotten it can be nice to be alone, as it can be helpful to be quiet. I’ve made a ritual of not going on my phone first thing in the morning, or taking it out when my dinner companions excuse themselves and this helps me have one or two quiet moments inside my own head. Along the same lines I’ve also decided that the unfriend is allowed. The art of the unfriend can range from the occasional housecleaning of people you really don't know or will never see again, to the psychological protection of ridding yourself of someone bad for you, to no longer aligning yourself with someone you don't want to be aligned with. Don't avoid the unfriend for fear of seeming melodramatic or one day changing your mind. Delete your ex-boyfriend if he makes you so mad you forget you’re a grown woman. Delete the friend you wouldn't want to meet for a drink in real life. Grow apart like you should.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://ienaina.blogspot.com/2010/04/end-of-friendship.html\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-4060\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-4060\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/04/end-friendship-main_full.jpg\" alt=\"end-friendship-main_full\" width=\"500\" height=\"333\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/04/end-friendship-main_full.jpg 500w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/04/end-friendship-main_full-400x266.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The road trip, running around in the woods at night, the car crash, when he played piano in the empty auditorium, those are the fleeting actual moments of my life, the relationships that dissipated or strengthened, that evolved or ended, in real time. Those living moments of our friendships happened and are remembered or not, mattered or didn’t. This person's status as my Facebook friend was an electronic glimmer that distracted me.The inexplicable nature of why we’re drawn to one another and why we stay or go is the endless fascination of my life. If only it were simple to understand, but in the meantime, even if he does exist forever as a ghost around me, he doesn’t exist on Facebook because I unfriended him.\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/pop/4051/the-psychology-of-the-facebook-unfriend","authors":["2415"],"categories":["pop_6","pop_1155","pop_5"],"tags":["pop_650","pop_360","pop_649","pop_158"],"featImg":"pop_110218","label":"pop"},"pop_2358":{"type":"posts","id":"pop_2358","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"pop","id":"2358","score":null,"sort":[1363100434000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"twitter-vine-and-the-world-of-social-media-art","title":"Twitter, Vine and the World of Social Media Art","publishDate":1363100434,"format":"aside","headTitle":"KQED Pop | KQED Arts","labelTerm":{"site":"pop"},"content":"\u003cp>Occasionally I find myself defending Twitter from its detractors. I think a great deal of people still think of Twitter as just a place where P. Diddy and Ashton Kutcher post about mundane things like what they had for lunch, and it’s not. It’s also a place where non-celebrities post about what they had for lunch.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Seriously, though, Twitter—along with every other major social media website—has been host to weird, fascinating art and poetry for years. No matter how intrinsically banal a platform may seem, someone in this talented world manages to do something worthwhile with it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I feel inclined to defend Twitter specifically because of people like John Moe, who I’ve written about here \u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2013/02/19/six-podcasts-you-really-should-be-listening-to/\">before\u003c/a>, as well as Jon Hendren (@fart)—people who have mastered the 140-word joke form.\u003c/p>\n\u003cblockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\">\u003cp>The real tragedy is not that they call him Lowly Worm, it's that no one in Busytown even sees that as a pejorative — John Moe (@johnmoe) \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/johnmoe/status/310760618401599490\">March 10, 2013\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\u003c/blockquote>\n\u003cblockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\">\u003cp>“Google Glass, please find a salon or barber shop that can repair haircut damage from multiple simultaneous noogies” -the future — jon hendren (@fart) \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/fart/status/310158991114252289\">March 8, 2013\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\u003c/blockquote>\n\u003cp>Others are worth following for what they retweet, such as \u003ca href=\"http://www.buzzfeed.com/katienotopoulos/this-man-is-not-a-burrito\">internet archivist Katie Notopolous\u003c/a>, and, if you want to be exposed to the depressing side of Twitter, the user @boring_as_heck, who catalogues \u003ca href=\"http://tweetpairing.tumblr.com/\">pairings of tweets by ignorant conspiracy theorists.\u003c/a> A Twitter account like that of \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/dril/status/309014923948744705\">@dril\u003c/a> could be considered an extended Dadaist performance piece. Many \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/diaper_wolf/status/228708326836428800\">other accounts\u003c/a> use \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/hell_homer/status/310848394409177088\">similarly absurd humor \u003c/a>but frequently break character, often to hint at personal woes or to take stands on politics—a process I’d compare to that of a comedian riffing in front of an audience until he or she finds something funny.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What about Facebook? Isn’t that just where your friends’ moms write long screeds about the need for better gun control in this country, and where bad local bands invite you to come see them? No! It’s also where \u003ca href=\"http://www.newyorker.com/talk/2011/07/04/110704ta_talk_mead\">Princeton professor Jeff Nunokawa\u003c/a> posts deep and sometimes moving meditations on literature. If you add him as a friend, you can get these notes on your feed, and he will also wish you a happy birthday on your birthday.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 480px\">\u003cimg src=\"http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/341/114/7dc.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"337\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Via \u003ca href=\"http://knowyourmeme.com/photos/341114-poofed-audi-guy\">Know Your Meme.\u003c/a>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Instagram remains mostly a wasteland of brunches and cats, despite the fact that photography is definitely a legitimate art form and not just a hobby for dads and pretty girls. However, you guys, \u003cem>Ai Weiwei\u003c/em>, an artist famous for being persecuted by the Chinese government, is now on Instagram at \u003ca href=\"http://instagram.com/aiww/\">@aiww\u003c/a>. The account is decidedly non-controversial—it’s mostly starkly beautiful images of people around him, his cats, and even the occasional \u003ca href=\"http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=selfie\">selfie\u003c/a>. His technical skill and his backstory are what make the images poignant.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_2362\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 598px\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/?attachment_id=2362\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-2362\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-2362\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/03/aiweiwei.png\" alt=\"Via Ai Weiwei on Instagram\" width=\"598\" height=\"568\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/03/aiweiwei.png 598w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/03/aiweiwei-400x379.png 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 598px) 100vw, 598px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Via \u003ca href=\"http://instagram.com/aiww\">Ai Weiwei on Instagram.\u003c/a>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>You should also check out The New Yorker Instagram feed at \u003ca href=\"http://instagram.com/newyorkermag\">@newyorkermag\u003c/a>, where New Yorker photographers post images while on assignment—right now they’re documenting the 55\u003csup>th\u003c/sup>annual Rattlesnake Round-Up in Sweetwater, Texas.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_2363\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 574px\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/?attachment_id=2363\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-2363\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-2363\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/03/gators.png\" alt=\"Via The New Yorker on Instagram.\" width=\"574\" height=\"573\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/03/gators.png 574w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/03/gators-400x399.png 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/03/gators-32x32.png 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/03/gators-64x64.png 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/03/gators-96x96.png 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/03/gators-128x128.png 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/03/gators-75x75.png 75w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 574px) 100vw, 574px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Via \u003ca href=\"http://instagram.com/newyorkermag\">The New Yorker on Instagram.\u003c/a>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Recently Twitter unveiled Vine, an app that allows users to post and share six-second looping videos. I’m interested in this app because it is one of the first social networking platforms (can I say “social networking platforms” enough times in this article to make people jump off the Golden Gate Bridge?) made expressly for the purpose of making art, (with the exception of Instagram, which is photography, and photography is totally art). Not only art, but an art form on which people spend years and millions of dollars: the movies!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s already been established that while Twitter great John Moe is only decent at Vine, actor James Urbaniak—who is only \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/JamesUrbaniak/status/305904344648253440\">decent at coming up with funny jokes on Twitter\u003c/a>—is an absolute champion on Vine. His six-second videos are short films with beginnings, middles, ends, special effects, and costumes:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/JamesUrbaniak/status/305195980012285952\">Oscar Party '76\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://vine.co/v/b6qd6pjmi3i\">Bowie at Home\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Is art still best left to the pros, even when it's free online or on an app? Twitter is telling me no, but Vine is telling me yes. Who else is great that I’ve left out?\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Is it possible to make art on social media?","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1363100567,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":16,"wordCount":726},"headData":{"title":"Twitter, Vine and the World of Social Media Art | KQED","description":"Is it possible to make art on social media?","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"Article","headline":"Twitter, Vine and the World of Social Media Art","datePublished":"2013-03-12T15:00:34.000Z","dateModified":"2013-03-12T15:02:47.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}},"disqusIdentifier":"2358 http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/?p=2358","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2013/03/12/twitter-vine-and-the-world-of-social-media-art/","disqusTitle":"Twitter, Vine and the World of Social Media Art","path":"/pop/2358/twitter-vine-and-the-world-of-social-media-art","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Occasionally I find myself defending Twitter from its detractors. I think a great deal of people still think of Twitter as just a place where P. Diddy and Ashton Kutcher post about mundane things like what they had for lunch, and it’s not. It’s also a place where non-celebrities post about what they had for lunch.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Seriously, though, Twitter—along with every other major social media website—has been host to weird, fascinating art and poetry for years. No matter how intrinsically banal a platform may seem, someone in this talented world manages to do something worthwhile with it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I feel inclined to defend Twitter specifically because of people like John Moe, who I’ve written about here \u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2013/02/19/six-podcasts-you-really-should-be-listening-to/\">before\u003c/a>, as well as Jon Hendren (@fart)—people who have mastered the 140-word joke form.\u003c/p>\n\u003cblockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\">\u003cp>The real tragedy is not that they call him Lowly Worm, it's that no one in Busytown even sees that as a pejorative — John Moe (@johnmoe) \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/johnmoe/status/310760618401599490\">March 10, 2013\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\u003c/blockquote>\n\u003cblockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\">\u003cp>“Google Glass, please find a salon or barber shop that can repair haircut damage from multiple simultaneous noogies” -the future — jon hendren (@fart) \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/fart/status/310158991114252289\">March 8, 2013\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\u003c/blockquote>\n\u003cp>Others are worth following for what they retweet, such as \u003ca href=\"http://www.buzzfeed.com/katienotopoulos/this-man-is-not-a-burrito\">internet archivist Katie Notopolous\u003c/a>, and, if you want to be exposed to the depressing side of Twitter, the user @boring_as_heck, who catalogues \u003ca href=\"http://tweetpairing.tumblr.com/\">pairings of tweets by ignorant conspiracy theorists.\u003c/a> A Twitter account like that of \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/dril/status/309014923948744705\">@dril\u003c/a> could be considered an extended Dadaist performance piece. Many \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/diaper_wolf/status/228708326836428800\">other accounts\u003c/a> use \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/hell_homer/status/310848394409177088\">similarly absurd humor \u003c/a>but frequently break character, often to hint at personal woes or to take stands on politics—a process I’d compare to that of a comedian riffing in front of an audience until he or she finds something funny.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What about Facebook? Isn’t that just where your friends’ moms write long screeds about the need for better gun control in this country, and where bad local bands invite you to come see them? No! It’s also where \u003ca href=\"http://www.newyorker.com/talk/2011/07/04/110704ta_talk_mead\">Princeton professor Jeff Nunokawa\u003c/a> posts deep and sometimes moving meditations on literature. If you add him as a friend, you can get these notes on your feed, and he will also wish you a happy birthday on your birthday.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 480px\">\u003cimg src=\"http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/341/114/7dc.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"337\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Via \u003ca href=\"http://knowyourmeme.com/photos/341114-poofed-audi-guy\">Know Your Meme.\u003c/a>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Instagram remains mostly a wasteland of brunches and cats, despite the fact that photography is definitely a legitimate art form and not just a hobby for dads and pretty girls. However, you guys, \u003cem>Ai Weiwei\u003c/em>, an artist famous for being persecuted by the Chinese government, is now on Instagram at \u003ca href=\"http://instagram.com/aiww/\">@aiww\u003c/a>. The account is decidedly non-controversial—it’s mostly starkly beautiful images of people around him, his cats, and even the occasional \u003ca href=\"http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=selfie\">selfie\u003c/a>. His technical skill and his backstory are what make the images poignant.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_2362\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 598px\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/?attachment_id=2362\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-2362\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-2362\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/03/aiweiwei.png\" alt=\"Via Ai Weiwei on Instagram\" width=\"598\" height=\"568\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/03/aiweiwei.png 598w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/03/aiweiwei-400x379.png 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 598px) 100vw, 598px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Via \u003ca href=\"http://instagram.com/aiww\">Ai Weiwei on Instagram.\u003c/a>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>You should also check out The New Yorker Instagram feed at \u003ca href=\"http://instagram.com/newyorkermag\">@newyorkermag\u003c/a>, where New Yorker photographers post images while on assignment—right now they’re documenting the 55\u003csup>th\u003c/sup>annual Rattlesnake Round-Up in Sweetwater, Texas.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_2363\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 574px\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/?attachment_id=2363\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-2363\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-2363\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/03/gators.png\" alt=\"Via The New Yorker on Instagram.\" width=\"574\" height=\"573\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/03/gators.png 574w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/03/gators-400x399.png 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/03/gators-32x32.png 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/03/gators-64x64.png 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/03/gators-96x96.png 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/03/gators-128x128.png 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/03/gators-75x75.png 75w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 574px) 100vw, 574px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Via \u003ca href=\"http://instagram.com/newyorkermag\">The New Yorker on Instagram.\u003c/a>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Recently Twitter unveiled Vine, an app that allows users to post and share six-second looping videos. I’m interested in this app because it is one of the first social networking platforms (can I say “social networking platforms” enough times in this article to make people jump off the Golden Gate Bridge?) made expressly for the purpose of making art, (with the exception of Instagram, which is photography, and photography is totally art). Not only art, but an art form on which people spend years and millions of dollars: the movies!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s already been established that while Twitter great John Moe is only decent at Vine, actor James Urbaniak—who is only \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/JamesUrbaniak/status/305904344648253440\">decent at coming up with funny jokes on Twitter\u003c/a>—is an absolute champion on Vine. His six-second videos are short films with beginnings, middles, ends, special effects, and costumes:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/JamesUrbaniak/status/305195980012285952\">Oscar Party '76\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://vine.co/v/b6qd6pjmi3i\">Bowie at Home\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Is art still best left to the pros, even when it's free online or on an app? Twitter is telling me no, but Vine is telling me yes. Who else is great that I’ve left out?\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/pop/2358/twitter-vine-and-the-world-of-social-media-art","authors":["2422"],"categories":["pop_7","pop_51","pop_5"],"tags":["pop_321","pop_360","pop_363","pop_245","pop_362"],"featImg":"pop_2403","label":"pop"},"pop_2370":{"type":"posts","id":"pop_2370","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"pop","id":"2370","score":null,"sort":[1363028155000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"from-the-beatles-to-one-direction-how-to-identify-a-boy-band","title":"From the Beatles to One Direction: How to Identify a Boy Band","publishDate":1363028155,"format":"aside","headTitle":"KQED Pop | KQED Arts","labelTerm":{"site":"pop"},"content":"\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">I have a 13-year-old cousin who I carefully monitor on Facebook, both for her safety and my edification. Not long ago, she began posting pictures of members of One Direction, a band I had specifically avoided even knowing about because, as far as I could tell, they were a boy band totally made up by some producer somewhere to sell records (downloads?) and get little girls whipped up into a frenzy. I'd seen that before and made a point of hating it (see: middle school). But then I happened to watch their adorable video for \"Kiss You\" and something snapped in my brain. Suddenly, I was the 13-year-old I absolutely wasn't at 13 (Counting Crows was my favorite band back then, obviously). I started going back into the annals of boy band-hood and wondering: What makes a boy band a BOY BAND and not just a group of dudes playing music together? Why are 'N Sync and One Direction boy bands but Counting Crows and Mumford and Sons just bands? Here, my friends, is what I discovered:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>To be a boy band, you have to sing catchy tunes about girls.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"single-video\">[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMNPPwq8I2Y]\u003c/div>\n\u003cp>Most people will tell you that The Beatles were the first boy band. I wasn't always convinced of this because they are MUSICIANS and wrote their own stuff and went on to each have pretty amazing individual careers. However, on closer inspection, I realized that they STARTED as a boy band and then morphed into just a band. Back in the \"I Want To Hold Your Hand\" British Invasion days, when they all dressed the same and had those cute haircuts, they were definitely a boy band. And the first clue is the peppy and sweet songs about girls. Songs that say: \"Hey, we're just a bunch of nice, approachable dudes, hanging out together, talking about you, the girl we love, in a really respectful way.\" As a person who knows a lot of dudes well enough to know that generally when they are alone talking about girls the subject of holding hands RARELY comes up, I think this must be part of the appeal of boy bands. A horde of teenage boys can be quite a terrifying thing to a young girl in real life. And individually too, boys are scary. They hurt your feelings, don't ask you to dances, break-up with you on Valentine's Day because you won't have sex with them, etc. But not boy bands. They are always a group of cute dudes who just want to hold your hand.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>There can't be a real front man.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"single-video\">[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fndeDfaWCg]\u003c/div>\n\u003cp>I use Backstreet Boys as an example here because clearly, IN MY OPINION, this is the Nick Carter show. BUT, the band isn't \"Nick Carter and the Backstreet Boys,\" just as The Monkees isn't \"Davy Jones and the Monkees.\" Someone is always going to be \"the cute one\" and \"the goofy one,\" but the lack of a front man is crucial because it shows that you are all on the same level, there are no divas (even if there are) and, in support of the subject matter of your songs and the non-threatening vibe you are going for, none of you are the silver back gorilla or the alpha male. You're just a group of good-time-loving beta bros, hanging out, not hurting anyone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>You can be a group of brothers, but only if you are still somehow sexualized.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"single-video\">[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ho7796-au8U]\u003c/div>\n\u003cp>One of the great debates I had with myself and others while coming up with this list is: Can a group of brothers be a boy band? My main question was Hanson. They seem in some respects like a boy band. They are cute and have matching haircuts and sing happy music. But they also were missing something. I originally thought it was that they were brothers, but then I thought of The Jackson 5 and The Jonas Brothers, both CLEARLY boy bands. Why one and not the other? As my friend Kevin Hobson put it: \"Jackson 5 and Jonas Brother count because they were sexualized by their handlers. Hanson never really was.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Your music has to be dance-able, especially at high school dances. It helps if you have dance moves that can be emulated.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"single-video\">[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbIEwIwYz-c]\u003c/div>\n\u003cp>The boy bands that stand the test of time all have this in common: Their music makes you want to dance. I missed out completely on the New Kids on the Block craze because I had no TV and my parents at that point were playing a lot of Paul Simon, Emmylou Harris, Bob Dylan and Willie Nelson records around the house. However, there was a girl down the street who knew ever single move to the \"The Right Stuff\" dance and she would do it on her front stoop every day. She also wore a side ponytail, which I couldn't do since I had a bowl cut. I was, of course, consumed with jealousy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>You have to be a little sexy. Not TOO sexy, but definitely sexy.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"single-video\">[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fV8vB1BB2qc]\u003c/div>\n\u003cp>Boyz II Men is by far the sexiest of all the boy bands, but they are also an example of how to do boy band sexiness right. Since, as you know, the goal is to be as un-intimidating and approachable as possible, while remaining masculine and heterosexual (ish, see the next requirement), boy bands must strike the right balance of sweetness and romance with straight-up sex. Spoiler: they always err on the side of romance. Can you imagine Lil Wayne singing: \"I'll make love to you, like you want me to, and I'll hold you tight, baby all through the night?\" Answer: no. Because his music is for straight men and Boyz II Men is for everyone else.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>You've got to have a little (or a lot) homoerotic tension.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"single-video\">[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4cdfRohhcg]\u003c/div>\n\u003cp>Teenage girls have always loved to see boys showing each other a little love. And by \"always\" I mean since at least 1998 when wrestling inexplicably became my favorite spectator sport. Somehow boy on boy hugging (\"wrestling\") and butt patting makes the participants seem a little more benign and maybe, a little more likely to hug/\"wrestle\" us or pat us on the butts IN A FRIENDLY WAY. Basically, boys who can show they love each other can show they love us too! They can talk about feelings! When they are angry, they'll probably cry instead of punch a wall. And we like that! Granted, One Direction takes it pretty far with \u003ca href=\"http://www.buzzfeed.com/mattbellassai/ranking-which-two-members-of-one-direction-are-most-likely-i\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">their genital-touching and kissing\u003c/a> but somehow, doesn't this make them even cuter? Even if they are all in love with each other and have no interest in having actual relationships with girls, who cares? Some of the sweetest, most girl-positive boys I know are gay. Would a straight man have made me \u003ca href=\"http://youtu.be/BPT_gwUpVxg\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">this video expressing his love for me\u003c/a>? Probably not. And I think we can all agree that it would be safer for teenage girls if all their boyfriends were actually interested in being friends and loving them for them and not actually having sex with them at all.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So which boy band is your imaginary boyfriend? Spend the day watching this whole playlist, including not-really-a-boy-band Hanson and a special boy band moment from \u003cem>Top Gun\u003c/em>, and get back to me. I'll just be here in my cubicle, trying to learn New Kids on the Block dance moves.\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"single-video\">[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMNPPwq8I2Y?list=PLDoXdE-USJklmzZshJowTab74xWLTs4AR]\u003c/div>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"What makes a boy band a BOY BAND and not just a group of dudes playing music together? ","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1552087717,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":true,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":15,"wordCount":1337},"headData":{"title":"From the Beatles to One Direction: How to Identify a Boy Band | KQED","description":"What makes a boy band a BOY BAND and not just a group of dudes playing music together? ","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"Article","headline":"From the Beatles to One Direction: How to Identify a Boy Band","datePublished":"2013-03-11T18:55:55.000Z","dateModified":"2019-03-08T23:28:37.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}},"disqusIdentifier":"2370 http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/?p=2370","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2013/03/11/from-the-beatles-to-one-direction-how-to-identify-a-boy-band/","disqusTitle":"From the Beatles to One Direction: How to Identify a Boy Band","path":"/pop/2370/from-the-beatles-to-one-direction-how-to-identify-a-boy-band","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">I have a 13-year-old cousin who I carefully monitor on Facebook, both for her safety and my edification. Not long ago, she began posting pictures of members of One Direction, a band I had specifically avoided even knowing about because, as far as I could tell, they were a boy band totally made up by some producer somewhere to sell records (downloads?) and get little girls whipped up into a frenzy. I'd seen that before and made a point of hating it (see: middle school). But then I happened to watch their adorable video for \"Kiss You\" and something snapped in my brain. Suddenly, I was the 13-year-old I absolutely wasn't at 13 (Counting Crows was my favorite band back then, obviously). I started going back into the annals of boy band-hood and wondering: What makes a boy band a BOY BAND and not just a group of dudes playing music together? Why are 'N Sync and One Direction boy bands but Counting Crows and Mumford and Sons just bands? Here, my friends, is what I discovered:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>To be a boy band, you have to sing catchy tunes about girls.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"single-video\">\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/OMNPPwq8I2Y'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/OMNPPwq8I2Y'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/div>\n\u003cp>Most people will tell you that The Beatles were the first boy band. I wasn't always convinced of this because they are MUSICIANS and wrote their own stuff and went on to each have pretty amazing individual careers. However, on closer inspection, I realized that they STARTED as a boy band and then morphed into just a band. Back in the \"I Want To Hold Your Hand\" British Invasion days, when they all dressed the same and had those cute haircuts, they were definitely a boy band. And the first clue is the peppy and sweet songs about girls. Songs that say: \"Hey, we're just a bunch of nice, approachable dudes, hanging out together, talking about you, the girl we love, in a really respectful way.\" As a person who knows a lot of dudes well enough to know that generally when they are alone talking about girls the subject of holding hands RARELY comes up, I think this must be part of the appeal of boy bands. A horde of teenage boys can be quite a terrifying thing to a young girl in real life. And individually too, boys are scary. They hurt your feelings, don't ask you to dances, break-up with you on Valentine's Day because you won't have sex with them, etc. But not boy bands. They are always a group of cute dudes who just want to hold your hand.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>There can't be a real front man.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"single-video\">\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/4fndeDfaWCg'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/4fndeDfaWCg'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/div>\n\u003cp>I use Backstreet Boys as an example here because clearly, IN MY OPINION, this is the Nick Carter show. BUT, the band isn't \"Nick Carter and the Backstreet Boys,\" just as The Monkees isn't \"Davy Jones and the Monkees.\" Someone is always going to be \"the cute one\" and \"the goofy one,\" but the lack of a front man is crucial because it shows that you are all on the same level, there are no divas (even if there are) and, in support of the subject matter of your songs and the non-threatening vibe you are going for, none of you are the silver back gorilla or the alpha male. You're just a group of good-time-loving beta bros, hanging out, not hurting anyone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>You can be a group of brothers, but only if you are still somehow sexualized.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"single-video\">\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/ho7796-au8U'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/ho7796-au8U'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/div>\n\u003cp>One of the great debates I had with myself and others while coming up with this list is: Can a group of brothers be a boy band? My main question was Hanson. They seem in some respects like a boy band. They are cute and have matching haircuts and sing happy music. But they also were missing something. I originally thought it was that they were brothers, but then I thought of The Jackson 5 and The Jonas Brothers, both CLEARLY boy bands. Why one and not the other? As my friend Kevin Hobson put it: \"Jackson 5 and Jonas Brother count because they were sexualized by their handlers. Hanson never really was.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Your music has to be dance-able, especially at high school dances. It helps if you have dance moves that can be emulated.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"single-video\">\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/tbIEwIwYz-c'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/tbIEwIwYz-c'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/div>\n\u003cp>The boy bands that stand the test of time all have this in common: Their music makes you want to dance. I missed out completely on the New Kids on the Block craze because I had no TV and my parents at that point were playing a lot of Paul Simon, Emmylou Harris, Bob Dylan and Willie Nelson records around the house. However, there was a girl down the street who knew ever single move to the \"The Right Stuff\" dance and she would do it on her front stoop every day. She also wore a side ponytail, which I couldn't do since I had a bowl cut. I was, of course, consumed with jealousy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>You have to be a little sexy. Not TOO sexy, but definitely sexy.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"single-video\">\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/fV8vB1BB2qc'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/fV8vB1BB2qc'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/div>\n\u003cp>Boyz II Men is by far the sexiest of all the boy bands, but they are also an example of how to do boy band sexiness right. Since, as you know, the goal is to be as un-intimidating and approachable as possible, while remaining masculine and heterosexual (ish, see the next requirement), boy bands must strike the right balance of sweetness and romance with straight-up sex. Spoiler: they always err on the side of romance. Can you imagine Lil Wayne singing: \"I'll make love to you, like you want me to, and I'll hold you tight, baby all through the night?\" Answer: no. Because his music is for straight men and Boyz II Men is for everyone else.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>You've got to have a little (or a lot) homoerotic tension.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"single-video\">\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/T4cdfRohhcg'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/T4cdfRohhcg'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/div>\n\u003cp>Teenage girls have always loved to see boys showing each other a little love. And by \"always\" I mean since at least 1998 when wrestling inexplicably became my favorite spectator sport. Somehow boy on boy hugging (\"wrestling\") and butt patting makes the participants seem a little more benign and maybe, a little more likely to hug/\"wrestle\" us or pat us on the butts IN A FRIENDLY WAY. Basically, boys who can show they love each other can show they love us too! They can talk about feelings! When they are angry, they'll probably cry instead of punch a wall. And we like that! Granted, One Direction takes it pretty far with \u003ca href=\"http://www.buzzfeed.com/mattbellassai/ranking-which-two-members-of-one-direction-are-most-likely-i\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">their genital-touching and kissing\u003c/a> but somehow, doesn't this make them even cuter? Even if they are all in love with each other and have no interest in having actual relationships with girls, who cares? Some of the sweetest, most girl-positive boys I know are gay. Would a straight man have made me \u003ca href=\"http://youtu.be/BPT_gwUpVxg\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">this video expressing his love for me\u003c/a>? Probably not. And I think we can all agree that it would be safer for teenage girls if all their boyfriends were actually interested in being friends and loving them for them and not actually having sex with them at all.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So which boy band is your imaginary boyfriend? Spend the day watching this whole playlist, including not-really-a-boy-band Hanson and a special boy band moment from \u003cem>Top Gun\u003c/em>, and get back to me. I'll just be here in my cubicle, trying to learn New Kids on the Block dance moves.\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"single-video\">\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/OMNPPwq8I2Y?list=PLDoXdE-USJklmzZshJowTab74xWLTs4AR'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/OMNPPwq8I2Y?list=PLDoXdE-USJklmzZshJowTab74xWLTs4AR'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/pop/2370/from-the-beatles-to-one-direction-how-to-identify-a-boy-band","authors":["2130"],"categories":["pop_4","pop_5"],"tags":["pop_353","pop_352","pop_361","pop_360","pop_354","pop_357","pop_359","pop_355","pop_356","pop_358"],"featImg":"pop_110117","label":"pop"}},"programsReducer":{"possible":{"id":"possible","title":"Possible","info":"Possible is hosted by entrepreneur Reid Hoffman and writer Aria Finger. Together in Possible, Hoffman and Finger lead enlightening discussions about building a brighter collective future. The show features interviews with visionary guests like Trevor Noah, Sam Altman and Janette Sadik-Khan. Possible paints an optimistic portrait of the world we can create through science, policy, business, art and our shared humanity. It asks: What if everything goes right for once? How can we get there? Each episode also includes a short fiction story generated by advanced AI GPT-4, serving as a thought-provoking springboard to speculate how humanity could leverage technology for good.","airtime":"SUN 2pm","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Possible-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://www.possible.fm/","meta":{"site":"news","source":"Possible"},"link":"/radio/program/possible","subscribe":{"apple":"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/possible/id1677184070","spotify":"https://open.spotify.com/show/730YpdUSNlMyPQwNnyjp4k"}},"1a":{"id":"1a","title":"1A","info":"1A is home to the national conversation. 1A brings on great guests and frames the best debate in ways that make you think, share and engage.","airtime":"MON-THU 11pm-12am","imageSrc":"https://ww2.kqed.org/radio/wp-content/uploads/sites/50/2018/04/1a.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://the1a.org/","meta":{"site":"news","source":"npr"},"link":"/radio/program/1a","subscribe":{"npr":"https://rpb3r.app.goo.gl/RBrW","apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?s=143441&mt=2&id=1188724250&at=11l79Y&ct=nprdirectory","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/radio/1A-p947376/","rss":"https://feeds.npr.org/510316/podcast.xml"}},"all-things-considered":{"id":"all-things-considered","title":"All Things Considered","info":"Every weekday, \u003cem>All Things Considered\u003c/em> hosts Robert Siegel, Audie Cornish, Ari Shapiro, and Kelly McEvers present the program's trademark mix of news, interviews, commentaries, reviews, and offbeat features. Michel Martin hosts on the weekends.","airtime":"MON-FRI 1pm-2pm, 4:30pm-6:30pm\u003cbr />SAT-SUN 5pm-6pm","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/All-Things-Considered-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://www.npr.org/programs/all-things-considered/","meta":{"site":"news","source":"npr"},"link":"/radio/program/all-things-considered"},"american-suburb-podcast":{"id":"american-suburb-podcast","title":"American Suburb: The Podcast","tagline":"The flip side of gentrification, told through one town","info":"Gentrification is changing cities across America, forcing people from neighborhoods they have long called home. Call them the displaced. Now those priced out of the Bay Area are looking for a better life in an unlikely place. American Suburb follows this migration to one California town along the Delta, 45 miles from San Francisco. But is this once sleepy suburb ready for them?","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/American-Suburb-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"/news/series/american-suburb-podcast","meta":{"site":"news","source":"kqed","order":"13"},"link":"/news/series/american-suburb-podcast/","subscribe":{"npr":"https://rpb3r.app.goo.gl/RBrW","apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?mt=2&id=1287748328","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/radio/American-Suburb-p1086805/","rss":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/series/american-suburb-podcast/feed/podcast","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5tZWdhcGhvbmUuZm0vS1FJTkMzMDExODgxNjA5"}},"baycurious":{"id":"baycurious","title":"Bay Curious","tagline":"Exploring the Bay Area, one question at a time","info":"KQED’s new podcast, Bay Curious, gets to the bottom of the mysteries — both profound and peculiar — that give the Bay Area its unique identity. And we’ll do it with your help! You ask the questions. You decide what Bay Curious investigates. And you join us on the journey to find the answers.","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Bay-Curious-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg","imageAlt":"\"KQED Bay Curious","officialWebsiteLink":"/news/series/baycurious","meta":{"site":"news","source":"kqed","order":"4"},"link":"/podcasts/baycurious","subscribe":{"apple":"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bay-curious/id1172473406","npr":"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/500557090/bay-curious","rss":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/category/bay-curious-podcast/feed/podcast","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly93dzIua3FlZC5vcmcvbmV3cy9jYXRlZ29yeS9iYXktY3VyaW91cy1wb2RjYXN0L2ZlZWQvcG9kY2FzdA","stitcher":"https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kqed/bay-curious","spotify":"https://open.spotify.com/show/6O76IdmhixfijmhTZLIJ8k"}},"bbc-world-service":{"id":"bbc-world-service","title":"BBC World Service","info":"The day's top stories from BBC News compiled twice daily in the week, once at weekends.","airtime":"MON-FRI 9pm-10pm, TUE-FRI 1am-2am","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/BBC-World-Service-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/live:bbc_world_service","meta":{"site":"news","source":"BBC World Service"},"link":"/radio/program/bbc-world-service","subscribe":{"apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/global-news-podcast/id135067274?mt=2","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/radio/BBC-World-Service-p455581/","rss":"https://podcasts.files.bbci.co.uk/p02nq0gn.rss"}},"code-switch-life-kit":{"id":"code-switch-life-kit","title":"Code Switch / Life Kit","info":"\u003cem>Code Switch\u003c/em>, which listeners will hear in the first part of the hour, has fearless and much-needed conversations about race. Hosted by journalists of color, the show tackles the subject of race head-on, exploring how it impacts every part of society — from politics and pop culture to history, sports and more.\u003cbr />\u003cbr />\u003cem>Life Kit\u003c/em>, which will be in the second part of the hour, guides you through spaces and feelings no one prepares you for — from finances to mental health, from workplace microaggressions to imposter syndrome, from relationships to parenting. The show features experts with real world experience and shares their knowledge. Because everyone needs a little help being human.\u003cbr />\u003cbr />\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/510312/codeswitch\">\u003cem>Code Switch\u003c/em> offical site and podcast\u003c/a>\u003cbr />\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/lifekit\">\u003cem>Life Kit\u003c/em> offical site and podcast\u003c/a>\u003cbr />","airtime":"SUN 9pm-10pm","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Code-Switch-Life-Kit-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg","meta":{"site":"radio","source":"npr"},"link":"/radio/program/code-switch-life-kit","subscribe":{"apple":"https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/1112190608?mt=2&at=11l79Y&ct=nprdirectory","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnByLm9yZy9yc3MvcG9kY2FzdC5waHA_aWQ9NTEwMzEy","spotify":"https://open.spotify.com/show/3bExJ9JQpkwNhoHvaIIuyV","rss":"https://feeds.npr.org/510312/podcast.xml"}},"commonwealth-club":{"id":"commonwealth-club","title":"Commonwealth Club of California Podcast","info":"The Commonwealth Club of California is the nation's oldest and largest public affairs forum. As a non-partisan forum, The Club brings to the public airwaves diverse viewpoints on important topics. The Club's weekly radio broadcast - the oldest in the U.S., dating back to 1924 - is carried across the nation on public radio stations and is now podcasting. Our website archive features audio of our recent programs, as well as selected speeches from our long and distinguished history. This podcast feed is usually updated twice a week and is always un-edited.","airtime":"THU 10pm, FRI 1am","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Commonwealth-Club-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://www.commonwealthclub.org/podcasts","meta":{"site":"news","source":"Commonwealth Club of California"},"link":"/radio/program/commonwealth-club","subscribe":{"apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/commonwealth-club-of-california-podcast/id976334034?mt=2","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cDovL3d3dy5jb21tb253ZWFsdGhjbHViLm9yZy9hdWRpby9wb2RjYXN0L3dlZWtseS54bWw","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/radio/Commonwealth-Club-of-California-p1060/"}},"considerthis":{"id":"considerthis","title":"Consider This","tagline":"Make sense of the day","info":"Make sense of the day. Every weekday afternoon, Consider This helps you consider the major stories of the day in less than 15 minutes, featuring the reporting and storytelling resources of NPR. Plus, KQED’s Bianca Taylor brings you the local KQED news you need to know.","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Consider-This-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg","imageAlt":"Consider This from NPR and KQED","officialWebsiteLink":"/podcasts/considerthis","meta":{"site":"news","source":"kqed","order":"7"},"link":"/podcasts/considerthis","subscribe":{"apple":"https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id1503226625?mt=2&at=11l79Y&ct=nprdirectory","npr":"https://rpb3r.app.goo.gl/coronavirusdaily","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5ucHIub3JnLzUxMDM1NS9wb2RjYXN0LnhtbA","spotify":"https://open.spotify.com/show/3Z6JdCS2d0eFEpXHKI6WqH"}},"forum":{"id":"forum","title":"Forum","tagline":"The conversation starts here","info":"KQED’s live call-in program discussing local, state, national and international issues, as well as in-depth interviews.","airtime":"MON-FRI 9am-11am, 10pm-11pm","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Forum-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg","imageAlt":"KQED Forum with Mina Kim and Alexis Madrigal","officialWebsiteLink":"/forum","meta":{"site":"news","source":"kqed","order":"8"},"link":"/forum","subscribe":{"apple":"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/kqeds-forum/id73329719","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5tZWdhcGhvbmUuZm0vS1FJTkM5NTU3MzgxNjMz","npr":"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/432307980/forum","stitcher":"https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kqedfm-kqeds-forum-podcast","rss":"https://feeds.megaphone.fm/KQINC9557381633"}},"freakonomics-radio":{"id":"freakonomics-radio","title":"Freakonomics Radio","info":"Freakonomics Radio is a one-hour award-winning podcast and public-radio project hosted by Stephen Dubner, with co-author Steve Levitt as a regular guest. 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No other part of the globe has experienced such dynamic political and social change in recent years.","airtime":"SAT 3am-4am","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Inside-Europe-Podcast-Tile-300x300-1.jpg","meta":{"site":"news","source":"Deutsche Welle"},"link":"/radio/program/inside-europe","subscribe":{"apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/inside-europe/id80106806?mt=2","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/radio/Inside-Europe-p731/","rss":"https://partner.dw.com/xml/podcast_inside-europe"}},"latino-usa":{"id":"latino-usa","title":"Latino USA","airtime":"MON 1am-2am, SUN 6pm-7pm","info":"Latino USA, the radio journal of news and culture, is the only national, English-language radio program produced from a Latino perspective.","imageSrc":"https://ww2.kqed.org/radio/wp-content/uploads/sites/50/2018/04/latinoUsa.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"http://latinousa.org/","meta":{"site":"news","source":"npr"},"link":"/radio/program/latino-usa","subscribe":{"npr":"https://rpb3r.app.goo.gl/xtTd","apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?s=143441&mt=2&id=79681317&at=11l79Y&ct=nprdirectory","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/radio/Latino-USA-p621/","rss":"https://feeds.npr.org/510016/podcast.xml"}},"live-from-here-highlights":{"id":"live-from-here-highlights","title":"Live from Here Highlights","info":"Chris Thile steps to the mic as the host of Live from Here (formerly A Prairie Home Companion), a live public radio variety show. 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Updated Monday through Friday at about 3:30 p.m. PT.","airtime":"MON-FRI 4pm-4:30pm, MON-WED 6:30pm-7pm","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Marketplace-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://www.marketplace.org/","meta":{"site":"news","source":"American Public Media"},"link":"/radio/program/marketplace","subscribe":{"apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?s=143441&mt=2&id=201853034&at=11l79Y&ct=nprdirectory","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/radio/APM-Marketplace-p88/","rss":"https://feeds.publicradio.org/public_feeds/marketplace-pm/rss/rss"}},"mindshift":{"id":"mindshift","title":"MindShift","tagline":"A podcast about the future of learning and how we raise our kids","info":"The MindShift podcast explores the innovations in education that are shaping how kids learn. Hosts Ki Sung and Katrina Schwartz introduce listeners to educators, researchers, parents and students who are developing effective ways to improve how kids learn. We cover topics like how fed-up administrators are developing surprising tactics to deal with classroom disruptions; how listening to podcasts are helping kids develop reading skills; the consequences of overparenting; and why interdisciplinary learning can engage students on all ends of the traditional achievement spectrum. This podcast is part of the MindShift education site, a division of KQED News. KQED is an NPR/PBS member station based in San Francisco. You can also visit the MindShift website for episodes and supplemental blog posts or tweet us \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/MindShiftKQED\">@MindShiftKQED\u003c/a> or visit us at \u003ca href=\"/mindshift\">MindShift.KQED.org\u003c/a>","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Mindshift-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg","imageAlt":"KQED MindShift: How We Will Learn","officialWebsiteLink":"/mindshift/","meta":{"site":"news","source":"kqed","order":"2"},"link":"/podcasts/mindshift","subscribe":{"apple":"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mindshift-podcast/id1078765985","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5tZWdhcGhvbmUuZm0vS1FJTkM1NzY0NjAwNDI5","npr":"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/464615685/mind-shift-podcast","stitcher":"https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kqed/stories-teachers-share","spotify":"https://open.spotify.com/show/0MxSpNYZKNprFLCl7eEtyx"}},"morning-edition":{"id":"morning-edition","title":"Morning Edition","info":"\u003cem>Morning Edition\u003c/em> takes listeners around the country and the world with multi-faceted stories and commentaries every weekday. Hosts Steve Inskeep, David Greene and Rachel Martin bring you the latest breaking news and features to prepare you for the day.","airtime":"MON-FRI 3am-9am","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Morning-Edition-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://www.npr.org/programs/morning-edition/","meta":{"site":"news","source":"npr"},"link":"/radio/program/morning-edition"},"onourwatch":{"id":"onourwatch","title":"On Our Watch","tagline":"Police secrets, unsealed","info":"For decades, the process for how police police themselves has been inconsistent – if not opaque. In some states, like California, these proceedings were completely hidden. After a new police transparency law unsealed scores of internal affairs files, our reporters set out to examine these cases and the shadow world of police discipline. 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