Let's face it, it was only a matter of time. We kind of asked for it. Having not one, but two holidays every year centered around slaughtering and eating turkeys. Putting cute cartoon versions of their jowly faces on greeting cards to celebrate all that festive carnivorousness. Now, like Bodega Bay in The Birds, communities all over the country are finding themselves beset on all sides with wild turkeys trying to F up everyone's S.
There's Cleveland, Ohio, where several neighborhoods are being forced to pick up their mail from the post office because gangs of rogue turkeys won't let postal workers get to mailboxes. One woman in Chicago was chased by ten turkeys who then broke into her garage. In Foxborough, Massachusetts, they "act like they own the place."
In Sacramento, when one reporter went to investigate reports about a wild bird named Terrible Tom, this dramatic chase occurred. (Turn the sound on because her commentary is amazing. "I don't have a stick!" is a high point.)