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Let's Investigate What the Hell Justin Bieber's New Massive Tattoo Is

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Stuart Franklin/ Getty Images Sport

Over the weekend, Justin Bieber hit Instagram to share his new chest and stomach tattoo with the world. Sticking to the black and grey theme that already dominates his arms, the first sneak peak of his brand new artwork looked like this:

It is... huge. And really... dark. And... what is all that?

Sensing the public confusion, Bieber sent a follow-up rendition, in video form to presumably say sorr-ay and better give us a better idea of what's all over his bod-ay.


In some ways, this close up only exacerbated the confusion. So what is Justin's new tattoo exactly? Starting from the top down is the easiest way to unpack this thing.

This is how his torso looked back in June:

So the bear, cross, lion, crown, and numerals were already on his chest. And his stomach was already inked with the words "Son of God" (not problematic at all!), that flying eagle, and the word "Purpose" above his belly button.

So let's figure out what's been added in this latest sesh. Here's a freeze frame to better assist us:

Justin Bieber/ Instagram

First things first: This may or may not be an attempt to cover up the "Son of God" tattoo, though, if that's the case, it hasn't been particularly successful, since those letters are clearly still visible under the new art. We may never know.

Let's start on the left side. Next to what appears to be a ghost child or bellhop (ghost bellhop child?) is a series of arches. Depending on lighting, this structure could be anything from a roller coaster to a freeway overpass to church windows. Based on Bieber's godliness, we'll go ahead and assume it's the last one, though why there appear to be brick walls within the windows instead of, say, stained glass, is anyone's guess.

Moving to the right of the presumed windows is what appears to be an angel. But what's up with its face? Is the angel wearing a mini-lion head? Or does it just have a perm? And where does the bottom half of its body go? Is that mess of material below the nipple the rest of the angel's robes? Or a troubled headless figure clutching itself? If you look closely, there's totally a straight-jacket vibe. See?

Justin Bieber/ Instagram

Beneath the eagle and the "Purpose" tattoo, there are some non-distinct clouds, arches, and at least one skeleton. If the angel and church windows above are supposed to be heaven, does the skeleton represent hell?

Finally -- and potentially most importantly -- in the process of getting this tattoo, it would appear that Justin Bieber's belly button has disappeared entirely. Seriously. Try and find it in the video.

In the history of humanity, the only two humans to ever possibly walk the Earth without navels would've been the very first two: Adam and Eve. Those two didn't need umbilical chords because, according to the book of Genesis, God fashioned Adam from dust, and Eve from Adam's rib. Is Justin Bieber the third person on Earth to not require a navel? Did he get it surgically removed in the pursuit of growing ever closer to God? And is that what this tattoo is really all about? Share your thoughts below.

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