Enough Already: Beauty Trends are Getting Just as Crazy as the Rest of 2017

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It's true that surviving the stress and turbulence of 2017 without having a meltdown requires a lot of happy distractions: more cat videos than ever before, otters that hold hands while they sleep, maybe some photos of dogs dressed like Shania Twain, and a dance craze from India that sounds like one of our chat show hosts (#jimmikiKammal).

Nowhere has the stress of this year been more visible though, than the beauty industry. It started simply enough with some over-the-top, but still pretty cool, unicorn stuff -- unicorn hair, unicorn nails, unicorn eyeliner. And it was all fine because who doesn't love a bit of sparkle pony when the going gets tough:


There is a line at which we should stop though, and that line is probably James Charles turning his mouth into stained glass:

Anything beyond that unicorn/stained glass lips line is insanity running amok in the one place that has always promised flawless fantasy when we needed it the most. Apparently though, the ugliness of 2017 has somehow seeped into cosmetic consciousness and seemingly pushed this year's beauty trends off a cliff. And they've been hitting every bump on the way down ever since.

Consider, if you will, Squiggle Brows -- essentially what would happen to eyebrows if Whatever Happened to Baby Jane-era Bette Davis and a scary clown got together to do a make-up tutorial:

Then -- naturally -- came the equally insane equivalent for the bottom half of your face: squiggle lips, the perfect trend for women who like to apply make-up while drunk or on public transport or both:

(Tip: If it's lip-related and Kylie Jenner isn't doing it, none of us should be doing it.)

Then there was some discussion of braiding eyebrows, but, fortunately for the world, that endeavor remains both a joke and completely impossible without the aid of PhotoShop. Phew!

If only the same could be said for barbed wire brows, a style that takes waking up on the wrong side of your face and runs full tilt at it:

The latest in 2017's cosmetic horror show emerged earlier this month with nail art that embraces both selfies and hair extensions. Teen Vogue doesn't "hate it."

Come on beauty bloggers -- for the sake of all of us, please start bringing the pretty back. There's enough crazy going on in the outside world without you guys joining in.