On the Majesty of Those Taylor Swift Courtroom Sketches

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Taylor Swift photo: ROBYN BECK/ AFP/ Getty Images

Update: On August 14, a jury ruled in favor of Taylor Swift on charges that DJ David Mueller had groped her. The case brought against Swift by Mueller -- that she had falsely accused him and subsequently damaged his career -- was thrown out by the judge on August 11. 

As you may have heard, pop-singing super-normal-girl-like-you-and-me Taylor Swift is in court this week. The trial concerns a 2013 VIP meet-and-greet during which, she alleges, Denver DJ David Mueller "grabbed" her "ass cheek". (Mueller denies the allegations.)

As the two battle it out in civil trial, seats in the courtroom are one of the most exclusive tickets in the world, with just 32 passes available for each court session. Because cameras and recording equipment are also barred from the courtroom, the rest of us must wait patiently to hear reports about the case instead of watching it in real time, O.J.-style.

The silver lining? The Denver Federal Court just happens to have the greatest court illustrator in the known universe, Jeff Kandyba!

Behold! This version of Taylor Swift that's even more flawless than actual Taylor Swift, conferring with her attorney, Doug Baldridge:

Art by Jeff Kandyba.

Then there's this Taylor Swift, who bears a close resemblance to 1960s perfect pixie Barbie:

Art by Jeff Kandyba.

And finally! Wait... who let Uma Thurman in here?

Uma Thurman photo by Harold Cunningham/ Getty Images for IWC. Art by Jeff Kandyba.

It sounds like we're making fun, but seriously, the Denver court illustrator is doing great! Compare and contrast with these doozies from celebrity trials of yore.


This is supposed to be Paris Hilton:

This is Lindsay Lohan:

Art by Mona Shafer Edwards.

Tom Brady? Is that really you?

Art by Jane Rosenberg

And here's Kurt Cobain. Just kidding! It's Martha Stewart.

Art by Shirley Shepard.

So here's hoping we get more fabulous Swift portraits in the coming days. In an ideal world, they would inspire an entire animated series -- we're looking at you, Jeff Kandyba.