Chris Pratt and Anna Faris Announce Separation, Internet Promptly Has Meltdown

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Photo by Charley Gallay/Getty Images for Disney

In increasingly uncertain times, there are few things consistent enough for us, the trembling public, in which to feel safe and secure. The list is short: the infallibility of Beyoncé, the ubiquity of the Kardashians, the tousled gorgeousness of Jon Snow's hair, and the enduring perfectness of Anna Faris and Chris Pratt's marriage.

Only not that last one anymore because life isn't fair, love isn't pure and WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE.

On Sunday, after eight years of marriage, a joint statement popped up on Pratt's Facebook and Twitter:

It was immediately difficult, on hearing the news, not to think about this:


and also this:

and also this:

That last pic was posted just four months ago! In Paris, the City of Love! He used the prayer emoji, the "worship hands" emoji, and FOUR heart emojis!

[takes deep breath]

We are all this comment on Chris Pratt's Facebook page:

Naturally, Twitter had some feelings to share on the subject matter as well:

Some celebrity breakups always affect the public more than others: Will Arnett and Amy Poehler still stings; Zooey Deschanel and Ben Gibbard will never make sense; and dear God, it's still hard to talk about Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins.

Thinking about Anna Faris and Chris Pratt living separate lives is clearly upsetting for anyone who has ever believed in the enduring power of love. (And nope, the gooey happiness of Spencer Pratt's marriage just won't sustain us.) Thank goodness we still have these two to pin ridiculously high hopes on: