1. Watch in Costume with Strangers at the Parkway: Maeby
So you have daddy issues and you hate your mother, which has led you to experiment with different identities and take risks like visiting Oakland. For you, the best way to watch the newest season of Arrested Development is amongst a crowd of people you are DEFINITELY not related to, who don’t know your real name, age or whether you are in fact confined to a wheelchair. Luckily the Parkway is marathoning the season in two sittings and costumes are encouraged. Possible costumes include: Leather Daughter, Studio Executive or Victim of BS Disease
2. Marathon Alone in Your Apartment: George Michael
Bad things are always happening to you. First off, you’re in love with your (maybe) cousin, everyone hates your actual girlfriend (her?), and you spend your days shilling fruit at the beach. Because of these factors and your general goodie two shoes-ness, no one wants to hang out with you and you end up spending a lot of time face down on your carpet…alone. So there’s really only one way you can watch the new season of Arrested Development: in your bed, under the covers, all at once, eating mayoneggs. You’ll be gone for days but don’t worry, no one will call the police.